Famous First Words: Charles, by the grace of God... Massachusetts Bay Colony Charter
Welcome to Save The Spiders Day! My sister is a crafter. She makes tiny little boards out of birch bark so spiders can surf the web. Ж But then, my cousin bought a bunch tiny little electric cars so spider could go for a spin.
..........Up came the sun and dried up all the rain.........Everybody …..Itsy Bitsy Spider
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. --Albert Einstein
It is a breezy Friday morning. Southwest winds of up to 17 mph are whipping the naked tree branches into a frenzy and trying to move even the newly greened grass. They have blown all the clouds away and the newly rising sun illuminates crocus and daffodils. Birds singing matins have come and gone and a silence has descended waiting for the crows to visit. Puck has been out and back and is asleep under my desk. Veronica has sat silent in the open door watching the world and keeping an eye on Puck. She has disappeared into the small spaces in the house. The 60°F temperature is a delight. The world draped in spring and we are privileged to walk through it. For me the very best of it is writing to you.
Hope your weekend fun is unending, Pi Lovers.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I doubt therefore I maybe.--Not Descartes
This administration has so many spin doctors they must use spiders. Ж My friend Spade's so is insecure that after he dies he wants to come back as a spider so he can hear people say “it's huge”.
..........Caught up on bad times.........Darren “Smoggy” Evans & Damon Albarn …..The Joplin Spider
Trivia Questions: Happy Potato Chip Day!
By whom or where or when was the Potato Chip invented (or discovered)?
What company (where or when) produced the first television ad for Potato Chips?
How many flavors of Doritos have there been over the years?
How many pounds (or kilograms) of Potato Chips were consumed during the Super Bowl?
How much do you think the potato chip industry was worth in 2022?
Big Hello: Здравствуйте! (Zdrastvuyte!)- Russian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Russia conquered Half of America faster than it conquered One Fifth of Ukraine. --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief
Image of the Week: Happy Birthday to Thomas Hart Benton who painted Achelous & Hercules which hung on the wall of Harzfeld's department store in downtown KCMO for years.
I just tried to kill a spider running across the floor with my shoe. I don't care how big the spider is, nobody steals my shoe. Ж Do you know what to call a spider with 20 eyes? Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider
..........You must heed the call of cosmobiology.........Frank Zappa …..Spider of Destiny
Moonbeam: By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. --Billy Crystal
Blasphemy of the Week: To be fair, a Bible signed by the Anti-Christ would be a real collector's item. --Submitted by UUHS
Coffee Humor of the Week: Coffee Saves Lives! Just ask my children.
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: ...The Velveeta Voldemort (times 3)**Walking advertisement of stepping on a lego**life-sized typo**warm beer in a dirty glass**person-shaped pile of shame**Waste of perfectly good oxygen**The Bronze Bozo**DOGE SHIT**
People in Iran are scared of spiders, but in Iraq, no phobia. Ж I was going to buy my granddaughter a spider for her birthday but the cheapest one in the pet store was $50 and the most expensive was $115. I decided to find a cheap one on the web.
..........And all I sought was happiness.........Mew …..She Spider
1) The myth is that George Crum invented potato chips for Cornelius Vandrbilt in the 1850s. In fact, thin fried potatoes date back to boiling oil. The first published recipe for potato chips was in William Kitchiner's 1817 cookbook.
Almanac: It is Friday, March 14, 2025. The moon is full (Worm) today and is in Virgo. Today is International Ask A Question Day, International Day of Action for Rivers, International Day of Mathematics, MOTH-er Day, Potato Chip Day, Pi Day, Save a Spider Day, World Sleep Day, and Write your Story Day. New Mexico celebrates Arbor Day.
Among those born on this day were Thomas (Olde Bullion) Hart Benton (1782), Johann Strauss the Elder (1804), Lucy Hobbs Taylor (1833), Giovanni Schiaparelli (1835), Casey Jones (1864), Albert Einstein (1879), Les Brown (1912), Max Shulman (1919), Hank Ketcham (1920), Quincy Jones, Jr. (1933), Jerry Jeff Walker (1942), Rita Tushingham (1942), and Billy Crystal (1947).
On March fourteenth Massachusetts Bay Colony was chartered (1629), Providence Plantations (Rhode Island)was chartered (1644), Whitney patented the cotton gin (1794), Boston held its first town meeting (1843), the Mikado premiered (1885), Strindberg's Froken Julie premiered (1889), de Vries rediscovered Mendel's laws of genetics (1900), Serbia and Turkey signed a peace treaty (1914), Warren Harding became the first president to file an income tax report (1923), the first rear projection movie theater was built (1931), the Freedom Train arrived in San Francisco (1948), Khrushchev became Secretary of the Soviet Communist Party (1953), Satchel Paige signed with the Birmingham Black Barons (1956), Wilt Chamberlain set the NBA playoff record of 53 points (1960), Gordie Howe scored his 500th goal (1962), Gorbachev became president of the Soviet Congress (1990), and Farm Aid V aired (1992).
Night Sky,3/14: The very slightly gibbous Moon, less than a day past full, rises in twilight. As it climbs higher after dark, keep watch below it (by about two fists at arm's length) for springtime Spica to show up. Spica rises about 1½ to 2 hours after the Moon does, depending on your location. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Happy Days for Happy Boys
Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People often mistake me for an adult because of my age. --Submitted by UUHS
This Week: Saturday, March 15 – Beware the Ides of March!
Sunday, March 16 – Black Press Day & Goddard Day & Lips Appreciation Day ^ National Panda Day
Night Sky 3/16: Jupiter shines bright white (magnitude –2.2) in Taurus, 36° west along the ecliptic from Mars. Jupiter dominates the high southwest after dusk near Aldebaran and the Pleiades. The triangle it makes with them is becoming isosceles, with the Pleiades forming the triangle's long point. Later in the evening Jupiter moves lower toward the west. It sets in the west-northwest around 2 am daylight-saving time.
Monday, March 17 – National Slime Day & St Patrick's Day
Tuesday, March 18 – 3-D Day*** & Awkward Moments Day & National Agriculture Day & World Social Work Day & Transit Driver Appreciation Day
***Third Day of the Third Week of the Third Month – 3-D Day
Wednesday, March 19 – Goddess of Fertility Day & Certified Nurses Day & Raspberry Day
Night Sky, 3/19: Venus (magnitude –4.5, in Pisces) is the bright "Evening Star" in the west in twilight. It's dropping lower day by day. On March 7th it sets a half hour after twilight's end, but by the 14th it's setting while the last of twilight is still in progress. Venus now shows its most dramatic phase: a remarkably thin crescent in a telescope or steadily braced binoculars. It narrows from a mere 8% sunlit on March 7th to just 4% on March 14th.
Thursday, March 20 – International Day of Happiness & Great American MeatOut Day & Alien Abduction Day
I have a pet spider and named him Spencer. I discovered he is musical and can regrow his limbs rather quickly. So I renamed him Allegro Ж The other day I found a spider in my shoes. She looked so stupid and wasn't able to stabilize the high heels.
..........And linoleum chickens are growing out west.........Meat Puppets …..The Spider and the Spaceship
2) Lays Potato Chips was the first company to advertise on television (1944).
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When a child says to dad, “I want Mommy” that's the equivalent of “I want to speak to your supervisor.” --Fuzzy Snail
Spark of Joy of the Week: In January of 2018 Jo and I as February Sisters held a women's march in Lawrence. Today I found a youtube video from South Park as people were beginning their march and then waiting to march. https://youtu.be/V5PGJKg6i2I It's about 6 minutes long. There is another tape of the march that I knew about. It's on vimeo. It's half an hour long and shows signs up close and stuff. I watched the two of them and it gave me such an uplift. So many of us, so beautiful, so powerful.
Moonbeam: It is the still, small voice that the soul heeds, not the deafening blasts of doom. --William Dean Howells
Fun Facts of the Week: The Freedom Train: An ALCO PA diesel-electric locomotive pulled a train, which carried the original versions of the United States Constitution, Declaration of Independence, Truman Doctrine, and the Bill of Rights on its tour of more than 300 cities in all 48 states. The 1940s Freedom Train exhibit was integrated—black and white viewers were allowed to mingle freely. When town officials in Birmingham, AL, and Memphis, TN, refused to allow blacks and whites to see the exhibits at the same time, the Freedom Train skipped the planned visits, amid significant controversy.
Video of the Week: Khrushchev beats the rhythmic shoe (1:00) https://youtu.be/aKdo1xwVK7shttps://youtu.be/aKdo1xwVK7s
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. --Albert Einstein
Two caterpillars are fleeing from a spider. They climb up a small branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped. “Hold on tight” says the first caterpillar, and she quickly chews through the branch until it snaps and they begin to fall. She grabs two protruding twigs and steers the leaf to the ground with finesse. “That's amazing, says the second caterpillar, “How the hell did you do that?” The first caterpillar scoffs. “Am I the only one in the whole forest who can drive a stick?”
..........And she been webbing all over town.........Muddy Waters …..Mean Red Spider
3) In the last 50 years there have been over 100 varieties of Doritos.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Any old AI can write a novel, but it takes a human to have writer's block. --Matt
Weird Word of the Week: Sozzled – drunk https://parade.com/1195613/marynliles/funny-words/
Dragons of the Week:
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Condition hair and prevent split ends and frizzies. Massage Cheez Whiz into dry hair, cover with a shower cap for thirty minutes, then shampoo and rinse thoroughly. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cheezwhiz.html
I rejected 2 uses. One was putting Cheez Whiz on a burger instead of sliced cheese; but it seemed like an actual use, not a wacky one. The other suggested that eating Cheez Whiz before meals could help prevent plaque build up on the teeth. This sounds like something our new secretary of health would propose. //By the way, I have no intention of putting in my hair either.
My partner told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went, had a few drinks. Nice guy, really, web engineer. Ж A spider crawled on my computer. Don't worry, it's under ctrl.
..........I thought I'd lost my blues..........Jimmy Buffet …..Ballad of Spider John
4) Roughly 28,000,000 pounds (13,000,000 kg) of chips were eaten during the Super Bowl.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why do British people still eat like they're in the 1800s and don't have electricity? Why do Americans eat like they have free healthcare? --Submitted by FNOG
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Collective Con 2025 (14-16, Jacksonville, FL) a Pop Culture Convention https://www.collectivecon.com/
Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Mental Health and Treatment (13, Oklahoma City, OK) ...establish research or business relations as well as to find international linkage for future collaborations in their career path. https://conferencealert.com/eventdetail/1249834
Protest Sign of the Week: Trump is so far up Putin's ass he can see Sarah Palin's house
Even Better Protest Sign of the Week: I'd call #47 * a c*nt but he lacks the depth and warmth. (I put this on my facebook page and the next day it wasn't available, which the hidden powers said probably didn't have proper permission to share. Hogwash, several people saw it.) By the way, I'm not going to put his name in the ePistle anymore. I will use one of the many wonderful euphemisms available to me.
Still Another Good Protest Sign of the Week: Without Hermione Harry Would Die In Book 1 (International Women's Day March)
Spira Spider has an incredible electronic web. The web lets her know if links are getting weak and alerts her of any catches. She doesn't have to sit in the middle of the web anymore. She has an office further up the tree. Oh, and she has androids that rush out and wrap up anything caught it in. Now she wants to design one for my house and charge me 4 cups of flies per month.
..........Now you'll feel him crawling over you.........Ozzie Osbourne …..Spider in the Night
5) Worldwide, the market value of potato chips was around $40.3 billion in 2022.
Late Night Joke of the Week: Trump gave his first presidential address to congress on Tuesday. The night was pretty much a welcome back party for Trump, republicans, and measles. --Jimmy Fallon
Quote of the Week: “In the end, F(Felon)OTUS’s first address to Congress was much like his first six weeks: Filled with useful lies and applauded by useless idiots.” --Stephen Colbert
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet all of my needs.
Today's Peace of History: March 14, 1970: During a second attempt by Native American activists to claim Fort Lawton (about 50 miles south of Seattle, Washington), 78 were arrested for entering the site. United Indians for All Tribes was demanding the city give the unused facility to Native Americans for use as a cultural center. One week earlier about the same number had been arrested for occupying what had been declared federal surplus property. The Daybreak Star Cultural Center is now operating on the site.
How do spiders mate? Are they monogamous? Do they have big fancy webbings? Ж Spider mothers get to say to their children, “You don't spend enough time on the web.”
..........Its web was also unique..........David Bowie …..Glass Spider
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, March 14, 2025, wEbbed ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.
Moonbeam: The first thing you will notice upon entering Spain is the absence of sibilants. In Spain “s” is pronounced “th” and thereby hangs a tale. Until the reign of Philip IV—or Guy Fawkes, as he was sometimes called—Spaniards said “s” just like everybody else. Philip IV, however, lisped, and Spaniards^ having an ingrained sense of propriety and not wishing to embarrass their monarch, decided that everybody should lisp. This did indeed put Philip IV very much at ease, but in the end it turned out to be a very bad thing for Spain. It wrecked the sassafras industry—Spain’s principal source of revenue—and reduced the nation to a second-class power. --Max Schulman
Cost of War:
As of 03/13/25 State Department Costs: $260,071,850,602
As of 03/04/25 State Department Costs: $259,349,814,646
As of 03/13/25 Homeland Security: $1,194,198,708,094
As of 03/04/25 Homeland Security: $1,193,414,497,021
As of 03/13/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,285,511,276,262
As of 03/04/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,283,494,515,825
As of 03/13/25 Military Costs: $3,135,721,681,729
As of 03/04/25 Military Costs: $3,134,190,351,661
As of 03/13/25 Veterans Care: $4,169,768,777,604
As of 03/04/25 Veterans Care:$4,154,478,435,028
As of 03/13/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,014,067,392,409
As of 03/04/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,024,929,318,078
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. --Albert Einstein
Famous Last Words: ...when I can smile at Satan's rage and face this frowning world. Thank you. --Fanny Lou Hamer's We're On Our Way speech Fanny Lou Hamer is one of my greatest sheros. She died on March 14, 1977
..........Hanging by a little thread.........The Who …..Boris the Spider
Sirius Spider got a job with Microsoft. He spins their web. Ж Peter Parker was jumping around taking pictures, did you know he got his degree is Web Design?
May Peace design your pattern
And Joy spin your web
prairie mama
christine
Last Laughs:
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