Famous First Words: The first constitution, granted by King Kamehameha III... The 1839 Constitution
A “tribute” to trials lawyers and the verdicts they invoke. Actually there are only three lawyer jokes, the rest are either true stories or rumors. Being a defense lawyer is like being Nickelback, the better I am at my job the worse the world becomes.
..........Hurricane Annie tore the roof off a church.........Prince …..Sign 'O The Times (10)
God hath made of one blood all nations... --Constitution of the Nation of Hawaii
It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sky is a deep blue without clouds or jet trails, but plenty of birds. 68°F is a nearly perfect temperature for walking or sitting, sipping coffee on the patio while a 2 mph wind barely moves the willow branches and is like a small whisper on the face. Puck is deep into his early morning nap on his pillow. I watch birds come to the mulberry searching the dwindling berries for the tasty ripe one. A Cooper's Hawk (aka red shouldered hawk) sits high in the willow limbs, preening her feathers and surveying the neighborhood. What a beautiful bird – and silent too. I take a bite of my cream filled donut – it is donut day, afterall – and savor the sweet, dark icing. But with a long sip of creamy decaf, I sit down to the real business of the morning – writing to you. What a gas...
Hope your weekend is free of legal entanglements, ePistliers.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Stop chasing your dreams! Follow your dreams at a sustainable pace until they get tired and lie down. --Submitted by SH
The judge asked the defendant whether he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. “Jury,” Do you understand the difference? “Yes, a jury trial is where twelve ignorant people decided my fate instead of just one.”
..........I know Mars could not be too far behind..........Prince ….The Most Beautiful Girl In The World (9)
Trivia Questions: Happy Doughnut aka Donut Day!
The name doughnut came later, do you know what they were called originally?
What do you know about the word doughnut or donut?
Who thought up the hole?
When or where or by whom were jelly filled donuts introduced?
What was the very first national donut chain?
Big Hello: Nitze – Nahuatl (Uto-Aztecan, central Mexico) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What do you get when someone is a lawyer and a librarian? You'll get all the information you need, but you won't understand any of it.
Image of the Week: And here they are in bloom – red and white and pink
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Did you know that the benefits of reading outweigh any negatives caused by eating cake? https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
“Your honor,” began the defense attorney, “my client has been characterized as an incorrigible liar and thief, without a single socially redeemable quality. I intend to disprove that.” How will you do this?” the judge inquired. “By proving beyond a shadow of doubt that the death threats he sent were written on recycled paper.”
..........I only wanted one time to see you laughing..........Prince …..Purple Rain (8)
Moonbeam: Dress for the life you want, not the life you have. --Beau Brummell
Blasphemy of the Week: Man is the most insane species. He worships an invisible God and destroys a visible Nature. Unaware that this Nature he's destroying is this God he's worshipping. -Hubert Reeves
Puzzle of the Week: From listener Bob Fecho, of New York City. Think of a well-known actor of the past whose last name is also a brand name. Remove the last letter of the actor's first name and you'll have a product produced by that brand. Who is the actor and what is the brand? NPR Sunday Puzzle 6/2/24
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Most orchestras are just 1800s cover bands. --Submitted by sb of ar
The defense lawyer was cross examining a witness. “Isn't it true that you were given $500 to throw this case?” But the witness just stared out the window and if she hadn't heard the question. The attorney repeated the question but there was still no response. So the judge said, “Answer the question.” And the witness answered, “Sorry, I thought he was talking to you.”
..........Color me takin' aback, baby..........Prince …..U Got The Look (7)
1) When donuts first appeared in the early 1800s, they were called “oily cakes” because they were deep-fried.
Almanac: It is Friday, June 7, 2024. The moon was new yesterday (6/6) and is in Gemini. It is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day, Boone (Daniel) Day, Positive Power of Humor and Creativity Days, Banana Split Days, and Bahamas Labour Day. Because it is the first Friday, it is also Doughnut Day (aka Donut Day).
Among those born on this day were Beau Brummel (1778), Susan Blow (1843), Paul Gauguin (1848), Robert Mulliken (1896), Jessica Tandy (1909), Dean Martin (1917), Rocky Graziano (1922), Tom Jones (1940), and Mark Wahlberg (1971).
On June seventh Louis XIV was crowned king of France (1692), the Hawaiian Declaration of Rights was signed (1839), Lincoln was re-nominated by the Republican party (1864), the monotype type-casting machine was patented (1887), Papagena (aka Asteroid #471) was discovered (1901), the NY Times agreed to capitalize the n in "Negro" (1930), the first microbiology laboratory was dedicated (NJ, 1954). The Rolling Stones first appeared on television (Thank Your Lucky Stars, 1963), and Prince, on his 35th birthday, changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol (1993).
Day Sky, 6/7: Daytime Arietids Meteor Shower. The most intense daylight meteor shower of the year. Source unknown. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Junior Firefighters and Sparky
This Week: Saturday, June 8 – Ghostbusters Day & Upsy Daisy Day & World Gin Day & World Oceans Day
Sunday, June 9 – Race Unity Sunday & National Archives Day & Toy Industry Day
Night Sky, 6/9: The Big Dipper has now swung around to hang down by its handle high in the northwest after dark. The middle star of its handle is Mizar with tiny little Alcor right next to it. On which side of Mizar should you look for Alcor? As always, on the side toward Vega! Which is now the brightest star in the east.
Monday, June 10 – AA Founders Day & National Egg Roll Day & National Forklift Safety Day
Tuesday, June 11 – National Cotton Candy Day & National Get Outdoors Day & Day 1 of Shavuot
Wednesday, June 12 – Crowded Nest Awareness Day & Loving Day & World Day Against Child Labor
Night Sky, 6/12: Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Uranus, and Neptune are veiled by the sun's glare.
Thursday, June 13 – LGBTQIA+ Equal Pay Awareness Day & Random Acts of Light Day & Roller Coaster Day
Friday, June 14 – No ePistle – I'll be recovering from surgery – catch you on the flip side.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Representative Matt Gaetz. / What never works when it's fixed? A jury
..........'Cause I was a bit too leisurely..........Prince …..Raspberry Beret (6)
2) The word donut comes from the early English phrase “to doughnut”, meaning to perform something in a pointless, repetitive manner. Nowadays it just describes the shape.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: So, we know the speed of light, but how fast is dark?
Moonbeam: While it is never safe to affirm that the future of Physical Science has no marvels in store even more astonishing than those of the past, it seems probable that most of the grand underlying principles have been firmly established and that further advances are to be sought chiefly in the rigorous application of these principles to all the phenomena which come under our notice. --Robert Mulliken
My Own Conspiracy Theory of the Week: The Supreme Wives Club is not a new thing, it dates back at least to the Roman Empire where wives and mothers schemed, maimed, and killed to get their husbands and/or sons on the throne. Livia helped put her husband, Augustus, on the throne and killed or banished all the competition so her son, Tiberius, could inherit it.
Video of the Week: Prince: When Doves Cry (3:45) video prince - Google Search
God has bestowed certain rights alike to ... all people of all lands. --Constitution of the Nation of Hawaii
I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not as amusing as Broadway. --Mae West
..........Get the Funk Up..........Prince …..Batdance (5)
3) A young sailor named Hanson Gregory came up with the idea of cutting out the center making the donuts easier to cook evenly all the way through. (c. 1847)
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and we want world peace. --Submitted by bc of tx
Weird Word of the Week: Jumentous – smelling like the urine of a horse. Jumentous (worldwidewords.org)
Dragon of the Week:
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Change blond hair dyed green by chlorine back to its original color/ Simply rinse your green hair with Canada Dry Club Soda. Canada Dry® Club Soda: Wacky Uses
The courtroom is a quiet place, Judge Roberts, where you park your political ideology, and you call the balls and you call the strikes. --Lindsey Graham
...........U got the horn so why don't u blow it..........Prince …..Cream (4)
4) The first jelly-filled donuts were introduced by Adolph Levitt as part of the Salvation Army's Donuts for Soldiers campaign. Long Johns appear at about this same time.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When I'm feeling down, I just remind myself that a trillion dollars worth of propaganda didn't work on me. --Submitted by MMS
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Sci-Fi Valley Con 2024 (7-9, Altoona, PA) Step into a world of warmth and wonder... Sci-Fi Valley Con | June 7-9, 2024 | Altoona, PA (scifivalleycon.com)
Actual Science Conference of the Week: 55th Annual Meeting American Physical Society Division of Atomic, Molecular and Optical Physics (3-7, Ft Worth, TX) Keynote by Nobel Laureate, Ann L'Huillier... Meetings - Unit - DAMOP (aps.org)
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Alec Guinness … Ale
At the beginning of a big trial, the presiding judge says, “Let the record show that the prosecuting attorney has gifted me ten thousand dollars to find the case in her favor. And let the record also show that the defense attorney has gifted me fifteen thousand dollars to find the case in his favor. So I shall do the ethical thing – I will return five thousand dollars to the defense and judge the case strictly on its merits.”
..........A world of never-ending happiness..........Prince …..Let's Go Crazy (3)
5) Krispy Kreme was a regional donut corporation that began to offer franchises in the 1950s. Bonus Fact: The US produces more than 10 billion donuts each year.
Sign of the Week: Marquee in front of a Texas church: Whoever prayed for rain, please, pray for my bank account. --Submitted by bc of tx
Quote of the Week: Medical science has made such tremendous progress that there is hardly a healthy human left. --Aldous Huxley
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you ever feel lonely, never forget that the Curiosity Rover (on Mars) is programmed to sing Happy Birthday to itself every year.
Today's Peace of History, June 7, 1997: 7 activists were arrested for distributing copies of the Bill of Rights outside the Bradbury Science Museum, part of Los Alamos National Laboratory in NM, the primary nuclear research facility in the US.
In a small Texas town, Drummond's bar began construction on a new building to increase their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the hearing he commented, 'I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not.'
..........You don't have to be cool..........Prince …..Kiss (2)
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, June 7. 2024, eXculpatory ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.
Moonbeam: The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary. --Rocky Graziano
Cost of War:
- As of 06/06/24 State Department Costs: $237,822,734,407.
- As of 05/30/24 State Department Costs: $237,256,364,747.
- As of 06/06/24 Homeland Security: $1,170,031,635,897.
- As of 05/30/24 Homeland Security: $1,169,416,424,936.
- As of 06/06/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,223,367,154,515.
- As of 05/30/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,221,785,165,967.
- As of 06/06/24 Military Costs: $3,088,538,087,502.
- As of 05/30/24 Military Costs: $3,087,336,946,327.
- As of 06/06/24 Veterans Care: $3,698,697,915,564.
- As of 05/30/24 Veterans Care: $3,686,705,952,112.
- As of 06/06/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,418,458,893,821.
- As of 05/30/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,402,502,154,698.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
These are some of the rights which He has given alike to every man and every chief, life, limb, liberty, labor of our hands, and productions of our mind. --Constitution of the Nation of Hawaii
Famous Last Words: It's our time down here. --Final words of The Goonies released 6/7/85
..........An ocean of violets in bloom.........Prince …..When Doves Cry (Billboard's Number 1 Prince hit)
I just settled a divorce over the visitation rights of a parrot. Neither may teach it negative phrases about the other. I went to law school for this. --Michael Adler.
May
Peace present your evidence
And
Joy be your verdict
prairie
mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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