ePistle eTouffee 2023

 Famous First Words: Should the shade of Plato visit us...W H Auden Grub First, Then Ethics

I love Mardi Gras with every bead of my heart. / This is NOT the day to be sober.

..........It takes a cool cat to blow a horn..........Hawketts …..Mardi Gras Mambo

War can't end terrorism. War is terrorism. -Philip Berrigan

It is a gorgeous but chilly (34°F) Mardi Gras morning. The sun is climbing the eastern sky illuminating the colors of the winter Earth. There is very little wind to set the scene in motion and not birds fly by to catch the eye. The only sound I hear is the hum on the furnace and the click of computer keys. All the other people and the dog are still abed and the cat and I have the place to ourselves. As the furnace runs its course and falls quiet, I can hear a quarrel of sparrows chirping away unseen, welcoming the day. When I stop to listen and to sip the hot, sweet decaf, a crow joins the conversation and the sparrows answer the call. It's Mardi Gras; it's time to clean out the fridge and our lives in preparation for spring. Party on – at least until midnight.

Hope your Mardi Gras is better than beignets, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've decided to stop being self aware...what I do is none of my business.

Talk about inflation! You used to be able to buy Manhattan for beads. / The real reason birds fly south for the winter is the Mardi Gras in New Orleans or Rio.

..........Gitchay big bass drum led the second line.........Wild Magnolias …..All On A Mardi Gras Day

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Alka-Seltzer

• ^ Where did this silly name, Alka-Seltzer, come from?
• ^^ What inspired the creation of Alka-Seltzer?
• ^^^ What joke did W C Fields make about the fizzing of Alka-Seltzer?
• ^^^^ What was the name of the product mascot of a puppet with a tablet-shaped hat?
• ^^^^^ How speedy is Alka-Seltzer anyway?

Big Hello: 今日は konnichiwa – Japanese https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Note To Reader of the Week: There will be NO ePistle this coming Friday (2/24). The next ePistle should arrive on March 3^rd.

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don't tell me how to pagan; if I wanted rules, I'd go to church. ----Submitted by MMS

Image of the Week: Sam Smith, singer, on the red carpet in an inflatable suit at the Brit Awards (2/13/23)

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: For 89% of librarians sexting is sending pictures of book covers. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Mardi Gras is the only time of year that you can take a condescending prude and bead them down to size. / Don't worry; you can confess it all at the Ash Wednesday service.

..........See that guy all dressed in green.........Dixie Cups …..Iko Iko

Moonbeam: When humor goes, there goes civilization. --Erma Bombeck

Meditation of the Week: Which is “more real” the spiritual realm or the material world? Hypatia ~~Hypatia of Alexandria is known as the world's earliest female philosopher

Puzzle of the Week: Name a well-known movie in two words with a total of 13 letters. Each of the two words contains the letter C. Drop both C's. The letters that remain in the second word of the title will be in alphabetical order, and the letters that remain in the first word will be in reverse alphabetical order. What movie is it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 2/24/13

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I start every song by counting 1-2-3-4 because it reminds me of math, math depresses me, and that helps me sing the blues.

JK Rowling wrote a book about Mardi Gras called “Fantastic Beads and Where to Find Them”. / Mardi Gras – a Christian excuse to have a Pagan party.

..........And there's music in the street both night and day.........Paul Simon …..Take Me To The Mardi Gras

^ Alka-Seltzer is a coined word that suggests alkalinity and the carbonation of seltzer.

Worthless Fact of the Week: “Take me to the Mardi Gras” is one of the most sampled songs in hip-hop history. The track's drum fills and cowbell-eccentric breakbeast have appeared in over 300 songs.

Almanac: It is Tuesday, February 22. The moon was new yesterday (2/20) and is in Pisces. It is Mardi Gras, aka Fat Tuesday, Fastnacht, Fetter Dienstag, Pancake Tuesday, Paczki. UNESCO has declared this International Mother Language Day. It is also Card Reading Day.

Among those born on this day were Peter II (1728), Charles Scribner (1821), Andres Segovia (1893), Anais Nin (1903), W. H. Auden (1904), Murry the K (1922), Erma Bombeck (1927), Nina Simone (1933), David Geffen (1943), Alan Rickman (1946), Tyne Daly (1946), William Petersen (1953), and Mary-Chapin Carpenter (1958).

On February twenty-first Thomas a Becket was canonized (1173), the trial of Joan of Arc began (1431), Boris Godunov became tsar (1584), Michael Romanov received the title tsar (1613), the Presidential Succession Act passed (1792), the first native American newspaper was published (Cherokee Phoenix, 1828), Lucy Hobbs became the first US female dentist (1866), the Washington Monument was dedicated (1885), the National Ski Association formed (1904), New Yorker was first published (1925), Alka Seltzer was introduced (1931), Elizabeth Taylor married Micahel Wilding (1952) and Richard Nixon visited China (1972).

Night Sky, 2/21: As soon as you first see Venus through the fading twilight this evening, look below it for the very thin waxing crescent Moon, just a day and a half old http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Wild Boys, Max and Ollie

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The barking could be boredom, fear, separation anxiety, or just wanting attention. But most likely it's because he's a dog.

This Week: Wednesday, February 22 – World Thinking Day & Ash Wednesday

Thursday, February 23 – Curling Is Cool Day 7 Single Tasking Day & International Toast Day

Night Sky, 2/23: Sirius blazes high in the south on the meridian by about 8 or 9 p.m. now. Using binoculars or a scope at low power, examine the spot 4° south of Sirius (directly below it when on the meridian). Four degrees is somewhat less than the width of a typical binocular's or finderscope's field of view. Can you see a little patch of speckly gray haze? That's the open star cluster M41, about 2,200 light-years away. Its total magnitude adds up to 5.0.

Friday, February 24 – National Dance Day & World Bartender Day & Forget Me Not Day

Saturday, February 25 – International Sword Swallowers Day & Rubber Ducky Day & Open That Bottle Night

Sunday, February 26 – Carpe Diem Day & Letter To An Elder Day & World Pistachio Day

Night Sky, 2/26: First-quarter Moon (exactly first quarter at 3:06 a.m. tonight EST). This evening the Moon shines between Aldebaran and the Pleiades, as shown below. Mars is off to the Moon's left.

Monday, February 27 – International Polar Bear Day & Museum Advocacy Day &

Tuesday, February 28 – Floral Design Day & National Tooth Fairy Day

Wednesday, March 1 – Pig Day & World Compliment Day & Zero Discrimination Day

Thursday, March 2 – Dr Seuss Day & Read Across America Day

Emma Watson made a Mardi Gras movie called “Beauty and the Beads”. / Mardi Gras is always a good idea.

..........It's good for the body and it's good for your soul........The Meters …..Hey Pocky A-Way

^^ In 1928 Hub Beardsley, president of Dr Miles Laboratories, discovered that the editor of the local newspaper in Elkhart, IN, prevented his staff from getting influenza during a severe epidemic by giving them a novel combination of aspirin and baking soda. Beardsley immediately set this chief chemist, Maurice Renee, to work devising a tablet containing the two ingredients.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It was so cold in Mississippi the temperature went down to Tupelo.

Moonbeam: Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. --Erma Bombeck

Video of the Week: Speedy Alka-Seltzer singing Plop Plop Fizz Fizz (:29)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Not My Job - Signed Curious in Chicago: a) Why should the putting of a man's hand in cold water occasion a sudden emission of urine notwithstanding his being fast asleep? b) Dancing - is it lawful? c) What is the cause of the winds and from whence do they come and whither do they go? Questions submitted to the Athean Mercury's Advice Column in the 1690s. --Alzo Slade Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 2/18/23

Nuclear weapons are the scourge of the earth; to mine for them, manufacture them, deploy them, use them, is a curse against God, the human family, and the earth itself. --Philip Berrigan

Dear New Orleans, your Fat Tuesday is Charlie Sheen's Regular Tuesday. / Pour me a Mardi-rita.

..........There is a house in New Orleans.........The Animals …..House of the Rising Sun

^^^ Alka-Seltzer was used as a hang-over cure prompting W C Fields to say, “Can't anyone do something about that racket?”

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Atheism: All of the Mardi Gras, none of the Lent.

Live Stream of the Week: Live stream street cameras of parades and people can be found at https://neworleanswebsites.com/cat/tr/mg/mgc/mgc.html

Not the Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Jesus would have never spent $14,000,000 on Super Bowl ads. Jesus would have fed, clothed, and housed 14,000,000 people instead. --Submitted by ar of ks

Weird Word of the Week: wadmal – a course usually undyed wool https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wadmal

Dragon of the Week: Mardi Gras Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove hairspray from walls, mirrors, floors, or counter tops. Dampen a sheet of Bounce with water and wipe the area affected by the hair spray, then wipe clean with a damp clean cloth. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounce.html

A hamburger covered in beads is called a French Quarter Sounder. / Beads and Bling – It's a Mardi Gras Thing

...........Smell of the morning in a rainy land.........Dennis Quaid …..Closer To You

^^^^ Speedy Alka-Seltzer, the product mascot, was created in 1951 and has co-starred with Buster Keaton, Martha Tilton, Sammy Davis, Jr, and the Flintstones.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Earthlings, If you want us to take Marjorie Taylor Greene back, please stop shooting down every intergalactic Uber we send for her. Thank you. Sporkfoot Federation --Submitted by sb of ar

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Pensacon 2023 (24-26, Pensacola, FL) ...returns to celebrate its 10^th anniversary. https://beta.purplepass.com/events/232300-pensacon-2023-feb-24-26-feb-23 ^rd

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Lab Expo Tunisia 2023 (21-22, Tunis, Tunisia) Laboratory equipment and technologies. https://www.eventseye.com/fairs/f-lab-expo-tunisia-17753-1.html

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Police Academy → polie aademy

New Orleans – everywhere else it's just Tuesday. / All things are possible with beads and bling.

..........Les Mardi Gras sont d'sus un grand voyage.........Balfa Brothers …..La Danse de Mardi Gras

^^^^^ The buffered aspirin in Alka-Seltzer peaks within 30 minutes, whereas regular aspirin peaks in about 2 hours.

My Own Writing of the Week: For we must seize again our myths; not to rewrite them nor to repaint or repair or restyle them But to relive them. --Christine Leonard

Foreskins, used in rainmaking, 75

Actual entry in the index of The Golden Bough by Frazer.

I did not find female deities in any way better or superior or more compassionate than male deities. There were goddesses who demanded human sacrifice just as some gods did. Kali was the goddess of death as well as birth. The worship seems to have been and is as varied as the cultures that produced them. Yes, there was a tendency for male sects to be a little less open than female sects, but not everywhere and not all of them.

I found a story that I have been unable to find again that said a warrior was expected to slice off his own foreskin and place it on the altar of the great mother. That's devotion. Whew! Apparently, that's how you knew you were ready to move from training to actual war.

What was there was a validation of many of my experiences. Orgasm as communion with god was only one. The cave experience that I mentioned above and wrote about in An Act Surprising was illuminated (or endarkened to borrow a word from Terry Pratchett, it is a cave, after all). Seed's underground growing themselves toward light became a metaphor for uniting the subterranean and subconscious to begat a new person from the current person like a phoenix rising from the flame. You can weather anything by growing a new you.

I learned that women's bodies and fluids were sacred to some cultures at some times; and that there were peoples who revered woman energy simply because it was what it was, not because it could make babies. I learned that lots of societies had a very equal balance of gender energy and responsibility. It did not teach me any great universal truths that I can pass on to you and make your life magically wonderful.

From Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: Reading is a means of thinking with another person's mind. --Charles Scribner

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Netflix needs to stop asking if I'm still watching and start asking if I've switched the laundry over yet. --

Today's Peace of History, February 21, 1975: Former Attorney General John N. Mitchell and former White House aides H.R. Haldeman and John D. Ehrlichman were all sentenced to 2 1⁄2 to 8 years in prison for their roles in the Watergate cover-up.

I'm immature, unorganized, irresponsible, and loud. Thank God it's Mardi Gras. / The problem with jogging on Mardi Gras is the ice keeps falling out of your glass.

..........I'm sure you'll see the Zulu Queen.........Prof. Longhair …..Go To The Mardi Gras

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle February 21, 2023, ePistle Etouffee 2023 Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet Is one of them. --Erma Bombeck

Cost of War:

• As of 02/16/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $200,337,738,391.
• As of 02/20/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $199,449,155,285.
• As of 02/20/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,118,667,566,926.
• As of 02/16/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,117,731,898,759.
• As of 02/20/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,129,315,260,166.
• As of 02/16/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,128,951,425,811.
• As of 02/20/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,905,048,526,031.
• As of 02/16/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,897,958,486,988.
• As of 02/20/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,009,044,140,625.
• As of 02/16/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,008.333.858,695.
• As of 02/20/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,362,416,345,151.
• As of 02/16/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,352,980,020,915.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Herein lies a riddle: How can a people so gifted by God become so seduced by naked power, so greedy for money, so addicted to violence, so slavish before mediocre and treacherous leadership, so paranoid, deluded lunatic? --Philip Berrigan

Famous Last Words: Laissez les bons temps rouler !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

..........And everybody's havin' fun.........Al Johnson …..Carnival Time

All you need is love and some really nice beads. / Who says you have to be at Mardi Gras to drink all day?

May Peace play the brass

And Joy keep the tempo

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Krusty ePistle

 Famous First Words: How come you're writing my name in the sand... Johnny Hart ...first ever B.C. Comic strip 2/17/58

It is the day of Championship Crab Races! I don't want to be shellfish so I'll share these crab jokes with you. / Don't worry, crabs have no claw what they're doing. / Craig Crab always orders crabracoon at the Chinese Restaurant.

..........Sparks fly from her fingertips.........The Eagles ….Witchy Woman

For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love. --Carl Sagan

It is a cold (16°F) Friday morning. The rising sun sparkles off the thin snow cover that coats rooftops and fences. A number of unseen birds are carrying on a conversation about their morning plans and Bruno sniffs about his yard looking for something. There is no breeze moving tree branches or blowing debris down the street. Puck has been out and returned to snuggle into his warm pillow. I have not been out. Instead, I have fixed myself a creamy cup of Chocolate Hazelnut Decaf. Unmoving shadows on the walls and roofs change slowly and subtly as the sun moves up in the sky; but their movements cannot be discerned. This makes the morning seem slow and deliberate and beautiful. I put my cup to my face and breathe in the steamy sweet aroma and nod to the beauty of the day before taking a gulp and enjoying the flavor of this Friday.

Hope you have awesome weekend, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: H G Wells went forward in time to make sure his team won the super bowl. But he was caught and penalized for Past Interference. --Submitted by sb of ar

The most distinguished Crab Artist is Leonardo da Pinci. / Christian Crab just opened a Prawn Shop on the east side.

..........Why don't you come to your senses.........The Eagles ….Desperado

Trivia Questions: PTA turns 147 years old today.

• ^ What do the letters p. t. a. stand for?
• ^^ What was the name of the organization before it became the PTA?
• ^^^ Today is “Founders Day” for PTA, can you name any of the founders?
• ^^^^ Where is the PTA headquarters?
• ^^^^^ How many PTA chapters are there in the US, more or less?

Big Hello: Ello - Jamaican https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I never finish anything. I have a black belt in Partial Arts. --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: Chiefs' Sea of Red – Union Station, 2/15/23

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: At any given moment 13% of librarians are searching for the source of a smelly smell. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Have you ever seen a crab walking to work? It's all a side hustle. / When crabs get drunk they walk straight.

..........It was a quiet night and I would be all right.........The Eagles ….Best Of My Love

Moonbeam: Mother considered a press conference on a par with a visit to a cage of cobras. --Margaret Truman

Meditation of the Week: Is virtue sufficient for happiness? --The Stoics

Puzzle of the Week: From Peter Collins, of Ann Arbor, Mich. You'll remember he had the challenge two weeks ago in which MEMORIAL could be rearranged to spell LIMA and ROME. This time, name a food item you might order at a fast-food restaurant. The first, second, and last letters together name another food item. Remove those. The remaining letters spelled backward name yet another food item. What foods are these? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 2/12/23

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese. Sorry, we only take money. --Submitted by INRITH

A woman came into the upscale restaurant with a crab under her arm. She asked the waiter, “Do you make crab cakes?” When he said that they did, she said, “Good, it's her birthday.” / When crabs overeat they feel just clawful.

..........The full moon is calling, the fever is high.........The Eagles ….One Of These Nights

^ Parent Teacher Association

Almanac: It is Friday, February 17, 2023. The moon will be new on Monday (2/20) and is in Capricorn. It is Champion Crab Races Day, My Way Day, and World Human Spirit Day.

Among those born on this day were John Pinkerton (1758), Frederick Douglass (1817), Banjo Paterson (1864), Noah Beery (1882), Otto Stern (1888), Andrea Norton (Alice Mary, 1912), Arthur Kennedy (1914), Olive Gibbs (1918), Margaret Truman (1924), Hal Holbrook (1925), Chaim Potok (1929), Yasser Arafat (1929), Alan Bates (1924), Huey P. Newton (1942), Dodie Stevens (1947), Rene Russo (1954), Michael Jordan (1963), and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (1982).

On February seventeenth Boris Godunov was chosen tsar of Russia (1598), Miles Standish became commander of Plymouth (1621), the first ship ever passed through the Suez Canal (1867), sardines were first canned (1876), PTA was organized (1897), Oregon had the first minimum wage (1913), Blondie Boopadoop married Dagwood Bumstead (1933), color television first demonstrated (1938), the comic strip BC was first issued (1958), Macau adopted its constitution (1976), Bette Middler was named Woman of the Year by the Hasty Pudding Theatrical Society (1976), The Eagles released their Greatest Hits" (1976), the Netherlands adopted its constitution (1983), and the public Memorial for Carl Sagan was held (1997).

Night Sky, 2/17: Jupiter and Venus are closing in on each other in the western twilight. They're on their way to a head-turning conjunction on March 1st. That evening they'll be ½° apart and lined up horizontally. Mark your calendar. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Future engineers

This Week: Saturday, February 18 – Battery Day (Volta's birthday) & Pluto Day & World Whale Day

Sunday, February 19 – Best Friends Day & National Arabian Horse Day & Skate Shop Day

Night Sky, 2/29 : By 9 pm. or so, the Big Dipper stands on its handle well up in the northeast. In the northwest, Cassiopeia also stands on end (its brighter end) at about the same height. Between them is Polaris.

Monday, February 20 – Love Your Pet Day & President's Day & World Day for Social Justice

Carl Crab got a gym membership for the new year. But on this first trip he pulled a mussel. / Carson Crab gets around on land just fine. She uses the sidewalk.

..........I guess every form of refuge has its price.........The Eagles ….Lyin' Eyes

^^The first convocation of the Congress of Mothers of Washington DC was held On Feb., 17, 1897, over 2,000 people—mostly mothers, but also fathers, teachers, laborers, and legislators—attended ~~I looked into several resource for the date that NCMofWDC became PTA and I did not find the answer.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The first rule of Passive Aggressive Club is … you know what, never mind. It's fine. --Submitted by RHOZ

Moonbeam: It is impossible to fuse totally with a culture for which you feel a measure of antagonism. --Chaim Potok

Video of the Week: Opening clip from Dagwood and Blondie cartoon show (1:00)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Is AMC aware that nobody goes to the movies anymore...I think they were at the board meeting and said, "We've got to speed up this bankruptcy" --Alonzo Bodden Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, 2/11/23 ~~On AMC charging different prices for various theater seats

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. --Carl Sagan

Carol Crab calls her home Michelle. / Colleen Crab opened a crab cakes and pizza restaurant that she calls A Crust Station.

..........I will sing this victory song.........The Eagles ….Already Gone

^^^ Founders’ Day (Feb. 17) is when we celebrate the legacy and work of our founders—Alice McLellan Birney, Phoebe Apperson Hearst and Selena Sloan Butler—to better the lives of every child in education, health and safety.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you've ever dated a bookworm, raise your glass! If you haven't, raise your standards.

Weird Word of the Week: Aeneous – bronze or brass colored; greenish gold https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/aeneous#:~:text=%C4%81%2D%CB%88%C4%93%2Dn%C4%93%2D%C9%99s,color%20and%20luster%20%3A%20greenish%20gold

Dragon of the Week: Well, Philadelphia has a more impressive dragon than KC. This is in Chinatown.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a used sheet of Bounce. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounce.html

When Caleb Crab was promoted to command of the ship, he kids started calling him Crabtain. / Christopher Crab invited us to his birthday shellabration.

...........Holdin' you close in my dreams.........The Eagles ….The Best Of My Love

^^^^ National PTA offices are located at 1250 N Pitt St, Pta, Alexandria, Virginia.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Man shaves 1.7 seconds off 2-hour flight by standing up as soon as the plane lands. --Submitted by FNOG

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: ConNooga (17-19, Chattanooga, TN) Chattanooga's ultimate entertainment multi fandom, pop culture event. http://www.connooga.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Science Technology and Management (17-18. Las Vegas, NV) ...to bring together innovative academics and industrial experts in the field of Science Technology and Management to a common forum. https://10times.com/icstm-w

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Nugget → Nut, egg

Why did the crab cross the road? To get to the other tide. / A crab that throws things is called a lobster.

..........You can spend all your time making money.........The Eagles ….Take It To The Limit

^^^^^ There are over 20,000 PTA units nationwide.

My Own Writing of the Week: Off and on through my life, I have read nearly everything I could get me hands on about the worship of godness as female. Mythology...dead religions...Wicca...neo-pagan...anthropology I courted the cave experience as a spiritual milestone in addition to the mountaintop experience of which Christianity is so fond. Included were:The Hebrew Goddess ...Festivals of Ancient Athens ...Bulfinch and Hamilton on Mythology... Ginzberg's Legends of the Jews ...Helen Diner ...Erich Neumann ...Elizabeth Gould Davis ...Robert Graves ...many more. Most highly recommended is The Wise Wound by Penelope Shuttle and Peter Redgrove. (Mythology, Goddesses, and the Exorcist movie)

I also read and rejected some works. For example Sarah Pomeroy wrote Goddesses, Whores, Wives, and Slaves: Women in Classical Antiquity in which she contended that all women in the ancient world fit into one of these categories and therefore had no power or influence in the city. But other readings suggest that there was a large priestess class that had money and power and Athens had female philosophy clubs. The apostle Paul was cleverly able to find rich women who owned their own businesses and supported itinerant preachers. There was even a delightful little volume that suggests that the Odyssey was written not by Homer but by a woman. (There are now people suggesting that Homer was a woman).

Side Note: The strangest thing I found was in the middle of a list of spells that had been translated from tablets found in temples in the ancient city of Ur in Sumer (5 or 6 thousand years ago). There was a series of spells to make your man more potent – Religious or magical Viagra, of sorts. One of these spells required stationing various livestock (goats and bulls, primarily) about the bedroom and intoning "F*ck me 50 times like the Ram f*cks the ewe!! Fuck me 50 times like the Bull f*cks the cow!!" over and over. Yikes, how much pressure is that; no wonder the poor guys couldn't perform. And livestock in the bedroom, seriously? Could you use paintings or was the smell part of the magic?

I must admit I have never in a single night approached 50 times in the style of just one animistic rut, much less several species. Obviously, this relegates me to the ranks of light weights.

From: Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: It was her habit to build laughter out of inadequate materials. --John Steinbeck The Grapes of Wrath

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm so old when I was a child the Dead Sea was just sick.

Today's Peace of History, February 17, 1958: The first meeting of Britain's Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND) was held. CND developed the peace symbol which became its logo.

British crabs and lobsters catch their trains at King's Crustacean. / Claibel Crab moved to New York to star in Crabaret.

..........Take another shot of courage.........The Eagles ….Tequila Sunrise

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle February 17, 2022, Krusty ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith, Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: The revolution has always been in the hands of the young. The young always inherit the revolution. --Huey Newton

Cost of War:

• As of 02/16/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $200,002,675,021.
• As of 02/09/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $199,449,155,285.
• As of 02/16/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,117,731,898,759.
• As of 02/09/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,114,654,688,585.
• As of 02/16/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,128,951,425,811.
• As of 02/09/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,128,349,889,248.
• As of 02/16/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,897,958,486,988.
• As of 02/09/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,886,235,426,423.
• As of 02/16/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,008.333.858.
• As of 02/09/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,007,159,676,659.
• As of 02/16/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,352,980,020,915.
• As of 02/09/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,337,382,017,671.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Our species needs, and deserves, a citizenry with minds wide awake and a basic understanding of how the world works. --Carl Sagan

Famous Last Words: The king is considering this Bill. --Constitution of The Netherlands

..........Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.........The Eagles ….Take It Easy ~~Tonight's songs are from the The Eagles Greatest Hits (1976)

All entries in the Championship Crab Races must wear a head protecting shell-met. / Unfortunately no channel is broadcasting the races; too bad, it will be crabtivating.

May Peace be your shelter

And Joy be your garden

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Covered ePistle

 Famous First Words: The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, the United States of America, China, France, Australia, Belgium, the Belorussian Soviet Socialist Republic, Brazil, Canada, Czechoslovakia, Ethiopia, Greece, India, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Poland, the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic, the Union of South Africa, and the People's Federal Republic of Yugoslavia, hereinafter referred to as "the Allied and Associated Powers" ..Treaty ending WWII

Happy National Umbrella Day. Why do the people of Seattle carry umbrellas so often? Because umbrellas can't walk. / My umbrella has a slogan: I'm just here throwing shade !

..........when I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun.........Leontyne Price …..Let Us Break Bread Together On Our Knees

Peace without justice is tyranny. --William Allen White

It is a cold (24°F) Friday morning. The sun is rising onto an absolutely clear blue sky. Sunshine picks up the colors of the golden, bare branches of the willow waving and sparkling. It picks up the metallic gray of the fencing and the pastel siding on houses and sheds. Wind keeps the tree tops waving but is not strong enough to move the large branches. No bird graces the limbs but they are busy at the feeder in the front yard. Ah, the furnace has come on with its hum and whirr; at the same time shadows of smoke or steam are racing across the strip of storage shed where the sun has reached. It is a Plato moment – fire...shadow...sun...enlightenment. I'm going to go fix my coffee. Love ya.

Hope your weekend is bright and sunny, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Please DO NOT confuse your Google Search with my Library Degree.

I found a lot of clever jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over people's heads. / Don't bring an umbrella to a brainstorm session.

..........Qui Radamès verrà.........Leontyne Price …..O Patria Mia (Radames will come here - Verdi)

Trivia Questions: Happy Anniversary to Victoria and Albert !

• ^ Do you know Victoria's first name?
• ^^ Which castle was Victoria the first reigning monarch to inhabit?
• ^^^ How many languages did Victoria speak?
• ^^^^ What wedding trends were begun by Victoria?
• ^^^^^ What Christmas tradition is credited to Albert and Victoria?

Obligatory Section of the Week: Go, Chiefs !!!

Big Hello: Miyaxwen – Ivilyuat https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm ~~Ivilyuat is an Uto-Aztecan language spoken in the Cahuilla Nation in southern California in the USA. In 2011 there were just six speakers of Ivilyuat.

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I need that kind of coffee that's so strong when I take a sip, my ancestors wake up. --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: There has been no other news on KC television all week.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: After ten years of working in a library you should have one cardigan of unknown origin, three books that belong to where you used to work, and at least one pet taken home from work. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

If you are walking in the rain with an umbrella are you under the weather? / I thanked the gentlemen at the bus stop who offered to share his umbrella with me. I explained that the glass ceiling keeps me dry.

..........Les tringles des sistres tintaient.........Leontyne Price …..Gypsy Song (The sistrums' rods were jingling - Bizet)

Moonbeam: Sometimes it's more important to be human, than to have good taste. --Bertolt Brecht

Meditation of the Week: What exists? --Lucretius

Puzzle of the Week: Think of a title for a particular person — two words, 15 letters in total — in which the only vowel is "I." What is it? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 10/14/18

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Whoever removed the 29^th and 30^th from February, come get the 14^th too. --Submitted by INRITH

What do you call a fat parrot with an umbrella? A poly unsaturate. / My umbrella has a mind of its own; it's hard to rain in.

..........conforto, sostegno dell'anima stanca.........Leontyne Price …..Addio Del Passato (To comfort and uphold my weary soul -Verdi)

^ Born in Kensington Palace on May 24, 1819, Queen Victoria was originally named Alexandrina Victoria, after her godfather, Tsar Alexander 1, but she always preferred to go by her second name, or the nickname 'Drina.

Almanac: It is Friday, February 10, 2023. The moon will enter the last quarter on Monday (2/13) and is in Libra. It is National Cream Cheese Brownie Day, National Home Warranty Day, National Umbrella Day, Plimsoll Day, and All The News That's Fit To Print Day.

Among those born on this day were John Suckling (1609), Horbert van Flowers (1670), William Congreve (1670), Johann Melchior Molter (1696), Charles Lamb (1775), William Allen White (1868), Jesse G. Vincent (1880), Boris L. Pasternak (1890), Jimmy Durante (1893), Bertolt Brecht (1898), Max Schubert (1905), Walter Brown (1905), Lon Changey Jr. (1906), Leontyne Price (1927), Robert Wagner (1930), Hamish Imlach (1940), Mark Spitz and Mike Rutherford (1950), and Jayhawk Owens (1969).

On February tenth the Academie Francaise was founded (Paris, 1635), Edmund Halley was appointed second Astronomer Royal of England (1763), Haydn's 99th Symphony in E premiered (1794), Victoria married Albert (1840), the first US fire extinguisher was patented (1863), YWCA was founded (1870), the Peace of Zanjon was signed (1878), Tchaikovsky's 4th Symphony in F premiered (1878), Coolidge requested a second disarmament conference (1927), New Delhi became the capital of India (1931),

Tom and Jerry debut (1940), the WWII peace treaties were signed (1947), Death of a Salesman opened (1949), Eisenhower warned against intervention in Vietnam (1954), and Mensa was incorporated (1971),

Night Sky, 2/10: Sirius the Dog Star blazes in the southeast after dinnertime, below Orion. It's the brightest star of Canis Major. In a dark sky with lots of stars visible, the constellation's points can be connected to form a convincing Big Dog profile. He's currently standing on his hind legs. Sirius is on his chest, to the right or lower right of his faint triangular head. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Boys Begin Backyard Bathtub Buffoonery

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Future generations will look back on TV as the lead in the water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad. --Kurt Vonnegut

This Week: Saturday, February 11 – International Day of Women and Girls in Science & National Inventors Day

Sunday, February 12 – Darwin Day & NAACP Day & Paul Bunyan Day

Night Sky, 2/12: Right after nightfall this week, the W of Cassiopeia shines high in the northwest standing almost on end. The brightest star between Cassiopeia and the zenith right after dark, seen from the world's mid-northern latitudes, is Alpha Persei (Mirfak), magnitude 1.8. It lies on the lower-right edge of the Alpha Persei Cluster: a large, elongated, very loose scatter of fainter stars about the size of your thumb-tip at arm's length. At least a dozen are 6th magnitude or brighter. They show best in binoculars

Monday, February 13 – Clean Out Your Computer Day & Galentine's Day & World Radio Day

Tuesday, February 14 – Library Lovers Day & National Donor Day & Extraterrestrial Culture Day

Wednesday, February 15 – Lupercalia & National Hippo Day & Susan B Anthony Day

Night Sky, 2/15: Venus, the brightest planet at magnitude –3.9, shines low in the west-southwest in evening twilight. It's on the lower right of Jupiter, the second-brightest planet. Venus sets about a half hour after twilight's end. Telescopically it's still just a shimmering little ball, 11 arcseconds in diameter and noticeably gibbous (90% sunlit).

Thursday, February 16 – Kyoto Protocol Day & Tim Tam Day

My umbrella was broken; only half of it opened all the way. But it's okay because there's only a 50% chance of rain. / I like to imagine that the person who invented the umbrella had planned to call it brella...but then hesitated.

..........Non feci mai male ad anima viva.........Leontyne Price ….Vissi d'Arte (I never did harm to a living soul - Puccini)

^^ Shortly after her accession to the throne, Queen Victoria moved into Buckingham Palace, which was previously owned by her late uncle King William IV. This made Queen Victoria the first reigning monarch to take up residence at Buckingham.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If St Paul could see the church today...we'd be getting a letter. --Submitted by MMS

Moonbeam: Whenever there are great virtues, it's a sure sign something's wrong. --Bertolt Brecht

Video of the Week: Jimmy Durante “Good night Mrs Calabash” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWN97q7xtDE

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Who is going to give up next? The head of the national archives. He said, screw it, just keep the secret documents. --Adam Burke Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 2/4/23

Liberty is the only thing you can't have unless you give it to others. --William Allen White

In the middle of a rain storm, my boss told me to water the flowers in the garden. I was puzzled and said, “But, mam, it's raining.” She replied, “Then take an umbrella.” / The doe gave the faun an umbrella in case of reindeer. She said, “Because I caribou.”

..........Pray for those who worship you.........Leontyne Price ….Ave Maria

^^^ The young queen was an adept linguist, fluent in both English and German. Her mother and governess both had German roots, so Victoria grew up speaking the language and later used it frequently when speaking to her German husband, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha. The Queen also studied French, Italian, and Latin.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pop two more balloons and we win a stuffed animal. Which, ironically, is also made in China. --Chad Prather --Submitted by jm or ks

Weird Word of the Week: Volvelle: A calculation device consisting of concentric moveable circles. https://blogs.getty.edu/iris/decoding-the-medieval-volvelle/

Dragon of the Week: Snow Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Eliminate static electricity from your television screen. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounce.html

As a teenager I had a summer job pumping gas. One week an older guy drove up and said he wanted a fill-up. Then he got out of the car with an umbrella, opened it, and followed me around as I worked, holding the umbrella over my head to keep the sun off me. I awkwardly thanked him as he paid his tab and drove away. A week later, he came back for a fill up. Again, he got out of the car with the umbrella and opened it, but this time he just stood there watching me work. I asked, “So you’re not gonna use that to keep the sun off me this time?” and he retorted, “Watch it, young man. Fuel me once, shade on you. Fuel me twice, shade on me!”

...........Pace, pace, mio Dio.........Leontyne Price ….Pace pace mio Dio (Peace, o mighty father, give me peace - Verdi)

^^^^ At the time of her wedding, it was common for wedding dresses to come in a variety of colors. Queen Victoria, however, wished to show off the lace embroidery of her dress and requested it in white. She also asked that none of her guests wear white so as not to draw attention away from her, and she even had the pattern for her dress destroyed so that it could not be copied. Queen Victoria accessorized the dress—complete with an 18-foot train.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Procrastination, Working tomorrow for a better today. --Submitted by bc of tx

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Farpoint Convention 2023 (10-12, Hunt Valley, MD) to promote the cultural and educational advancement of literary, graphical, musical and theatrical art forms inspired by science fiction, fantasy, comics, anime, horror, and all realms of the imagination in the community at large. https://www.farpointcon.com/who-we-are/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: National Big Data Health Science Conference 2023 (10, Columbia, SC) This 4th annual conference will include innovative plenary sessions, panels, and workshops that emphasize the role of interdisciplinary collaboration in Big Data applications and advancements in the health sciences. https://www.sc-bdhs-conference.org/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Miss Mississippi

I don't trust umbrellas, they're so shady. / The IRS agent explained that you can't deduct for umbrellas even though they are overhead.

..........L'amour est un oiseau rebelle.........Leontyne Price …..Habanera (Love is a rebellious bird - Bizet)

^^^^^ You can thank Queen Victoria and her husband Prince Albert for your Christmas tree. They popularized the custom in 1848 when Albert sent decorated trees to schools and army barracks around Windsor. An image of the royal family decorating a tree was also published that year, inspiring other British families to do the same.

My Own Writing of the Week: Coyote was a trickster indeed, in bed and out. He would surprise me by showing up at work to take me to lunch. He once drew a happy face on his stomach for me to discover as we undressed each other. He hid stuff between the sheets too - never anything dangerous or scratchy - chocolate bars (in case we get hungry) or vibrators. Once I used makeup to give his junk shadows and texture, but it wasn't very amusing and it tasted funny. One afternoon after a long, lush session of love, as I was drifting into sleep, I said, “Hey, doc, will I ever walk again?” His reply, “If I have to, so do you”. Fair enough. He had a short attention span and bounced out of my life quickly.

When I was 60 years old, I appeared in the Lawrence Kansas Anarchists Exposed Calendar (2004) in the nude. I was old and fat and it was so much fun. I wore only an Uncle Sam Hat. Bruce appeared also on a different page in a wizard hat. I bought 10 copies and gave them away as Christmas presents. I sent one to my daughter's family but my grandchildren refused to look at it. I sent copies to a few old boyfriends and even to one still in the queue. I was the oldest nude in the calendar.

From Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes. --Ludwig Wittgenstein

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Goodnight, table. Goodnight, moon. Goodnight Chinese spy balloon. --Submitted by af of ks

Today's Peace of History: February 10, 1964: After 12 days of debate and voting on 125 amendments, the U.S. House of Representatives passed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 by a vote of 290-130. The bill prohibited any state or local government or public facility from denying access to anyone because of race or ethnic origin.

The umbrella went to the doctor because it was feeling a little under the weather. / You can spot tourists in Washington state by the umbrellas they carry.

.......... Miau Miau Miau.........Leontyne Price …..Cat Duet (Guess, guess, guess - Rossini)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle February 10, 2023, Covered ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith, Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: The law was made for one thing alone, for the exploitation of those who don't understand it, or are prevented by naked misery from obeying it. --Bertolt Brecht

Cost of War:

• As of 02/09/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $199,449,155,285.
• As of 02/02/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $198,901,026,236.
• As of 02/02/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,114,654,688,585.
• As of 02/09/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,116,185,706,274.
• As of 02/09/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,128,349,889,248.
• As of 02/02/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,127,754,635,382.
• As of 02/09/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,886,235,426,423.
• As of 02/02/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,874,630,789,887.
• As of 02/09/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,007,159,676,659.
• As of 02/02/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,005,997,272,639.
• As of 02/09/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,337,382,017,671.
• As of 02/02/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,321,940,525,747.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

My advice to the women of America is to raise more hell and fewer dahlias. --William Allen White

Famous Last Words: We're free... Arthur Miller Death of a Salesman

..........Sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble.........Leontyne Price …..Were You There

My dad told me he was a spy. Truth is he was using an umbrella and they called him a gent under cover. / Umbrellas never remember anything because the rain washed.

May Peace keep your heart

And Joy release your soul

prairie mama

christine

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