Green ePistle 22

 Famous First Words: Come, my darling, close the window. --Eugene Ionesco The Chairs

Happy Earth Day!! …. I agree with George Carlin that we (meaning people in general) are arrogant to think we (usually meaning they) are a threat to the planet. This planet put up with dinosaurs for 165 million years then waited another 65 million before putting up with people. Do any of you think people, humans, can last 165 million years? Think about it. Anyone? Me neither. I took a very unscientific survey and I didn't find a single soul who thought we could make it even one million years. In fact a few people thought we might not make it to the end of the decade. / Earth existed for 4 and a half billion years before people showed up at all. The planet used to run the whole great plains with nothing but a bunch of buffalo and some prairie dogs. Besides, it has only been that last 2 or 3 hundred years that we have been seriously mistreating Earth.

..........I see skies of blue, clouds of white.........Louis Armstrong …..It's A Wonderful World

Make peace with the universe. Take joy in it. It will turn to gold. --Rumi

It is a cloudy but warm (70°F) Friday morning. Clouds are flowing from the south up to the north; they flow quickly as if fleeing some danger behind them or eagerly awaiting the pleasures that lie just ahead. The wind below them whips tree limbs and fills the air with single pedals of the white flowers that cover trees all over town. Birds – from tiny sparrows to high flying hawks – fill the air with moving specks and graceful songs. Wind pushes against my body and plays with my face and my hair. Last night's rain makes the world smell like damp soil and wet foliage. Earth insists on being beautiful for her day and sends the winds to blow the flowers about so the picture is moving yellows and whites and blues and reds. I have to admit, 4.5 billion years old and she still looks wonderful. But now I sit indoors watching the willow dance outside my window. I sip decaf – sweetened and creamed – and think about you. Great morning, really great.

Here's hoping your weekend is filled with fresh air, clean water, and springtime, ePistliers

NOTICE: There will be no ePistle next week. On Thursday Next**, plumbers are coming to dig a hole in my bedroom floor to fix plumbing that runs under the house. On Friday, workers are coming to replace the carpet that will have been taken out to allow the plumbers to dig up my floor. We do not yet know how long it will take the carpet layers, so no ePistle next week. See you again May 6^th. **This is a pun on one of my favorite fantasy series, Thursday Next. She is a detective in the JurisFiction Department (SpecOps 27) and once ran an anger management group for the characters of Wuthering Heights.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It is an old error of man to forget to put quotation marks where he borrows from a woman's brain. --Anna Garlin Spencer

It is not the planet that is in danger but our existence on it. If we're lucky, Earth may not have noticed us yet.

Reminds me of a joke...

Earth and Mars ran into each other at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. "Hey, Terra, wassup?" Mars asks. Earth throws up her hands, "Seriously, not too close, I've infested with homo sapiens.” “Don't worry, Sweetie,” Mars said, “they never last long.”

So here are a few non-pharmaceutical, home remedies that Earth might try.

..........When the sky is a bright canary yellow.........Mitzi Gaynor …..Cockeyed Optimist

Trivia Questions: Happy Jelly Bean Day!!

^ Where did the jelly bean originate?

^^ Which candy making method allows for a hard outer shell with a soft jelly center?

^^^ How long does it take to make a jelly bean?

^^^^ Which US president was a jelly bean lover?

^^^^^ What US company is the leading jelly bean vendor?

Big Hello: As-salȃmo 'alaykom - Dari (Afghanistan & Pakistan) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The decline of civilization can be traced back to when they stopped putting toys in cereal boxes. --Submitted by bc of tx

Max Picture of the Week: Max and the Easter Egg Hunt

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 23% of librarians have answered a reference question in a public restroom not at a library. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Wrath: Floods, fires, tidal waves, earthquakes, volcanos, droughts, storms ...you know the routine. It's actually very easy for Earth to do this because people keep mucking with the atmosphere. / Drought may have brought us lettuce that cost more than an hourly wage; but it also means your backyard may soon be seaside property.

..........I've never seen the sun shining so bright.........Willie Nelson …..Blue Skies

Moonbeam: Our imagination flies – we are its shadow on the earth. --Vladimir Nabokov

Meditation of the Week: If you are not French, can you be a true existentialist?

Puzzle of the Week: Last week's challenge came from listener Ari Ofsevit, of Boston. Think of a 5-letter word with an "L" that is pronounced. Add a letter at the start to get a 6-letter word in which the "L" is silent. Then add a new letter in the fifth position to get a 7-letter word in which the "L" is pronounced again. What words are these?

Blonde Man Joke of the Week: A blonde man shouts into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only 2 minues apart?” “Is this her first child?” “ No,” he shouts, “this is her husband.” --Submitted by bc of tx

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Since the universe has no center, you can't be it. --Neil deGrasse Tyson

Week of the Week: Fiddler's Frolic (21-24) The worst pub I've ever been in was called “The Fiddle”; it was a vile inn. / What do you call a hobbit playing fiddle? Lord of the Strings

If that doesn't work, Earth could...

Fire the Moon: Our sunward neighbors have no satellites at all and Mars only has those two small, hyperactive ... balls. So as the inner planets go, Luna is kind of conspicuous consumption. My planet may be mostly salt water but look at the size of her moon. / Besides, the moon has been slowly moving away...over the eons. Perhaps planning to slip out into the solar system while Earth isn't looking ... make its way to the asteroid belt ... see if there is something with better advancement potential. I can't believe it. 4 billion years old and I still have a curfew.

..........Gray skies are gonna clear up.........Dick Van Dyke …..Put On A Happy Face

^ While it is known that jelly beans were invented in the US, the inspiration may come from Turkish Delights, which come from Turkey. The similarities between these jelly treats are what spurred this rumor! Turkish delights are cubed, jelly treats. Both Turkish delights and jelly beans are jelly candy, but jelly beans are turned into the bean shape with a shell and Turkish delights are just rolled in powdered sugar.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 22, 2022. The moon will go into the last quarter tomorrow and is in Capricorn. It is UN: International Mother Earth Day, Chemists Celebrate The Earth Day, Earth Day, Girl Scout Leaders Day, Global Selfie Earth Day (NASA), In God We Trust Day, Mother Earth Day, and National Jelly Bean Day. In Nebraska it is Arbor Day.

Among those born on this day were Isabella I (1451), Alexander VIII (1610), Giuseppe Torelli (1658), Henry Fielding (1707), Madame de Stael (1766), Henry Clay (1777), Philip James Bailey (1816), Guilherme Antonio Cossoul (1828), Ethel Mary Smyth (1858), Nikolai Lenin (1870), Otto Rank (Rosenfeld, 1884), Sergei S. Prokofiev (1891), Vladimir Nabokov (1899), Robert Oppenheimer (1904), Lord Airedale (1915), Sidney Nolan (1917), Charles Mingus (1922), Charlotte Rae (1926), John Llewellyn (1933), Jack Nicholson (1937), Spencer Haywood (1949), Peter Frampton (1950), and Ryan Stiles (1959).

On April twenty-second the supernova Crab nebula was seen by the naked eye (1056), Halley's Comet was recorded (1073), the erection of the Bastille began (1370), Henry VIII ascended the throne (1509), the first US slave revolt occurred (SC, 1526), the Royal Society incorporated (1662), the Netherlands and Műnster signed a peace treaty (1674), Curaҁao prohibited the use of white paint due to fierce sunlgiht (1817), Nebraska celebrated the first ever Arbor Day (1872), Oklahoma land rush opened (1889), US blockaded Cuba (1898), the Ameircan Power Boat Association formed (1903), Babe Ruth played his first professional game (1914), México ended diplomatic relations with the US (1914), the first NBA Championship was played (Philadelphia beat Chicago, 1947), Les Chaises premiered (1952), the USSR joined UNESCO (1954), the KC Athletics played their first game (1955), the first human eye transplant was performed (1969), the first Earth Day was held (1970), Young and Duke spent the day on the moon (1972), the Blues Brothers first appeared on SNL (1978), 10,000 copper workers in Chile struck (1981), the Soyuz T-8 returned to Earth (1983), Lebanon released hostage Robert Polhill after 39 months (1990), and Denmark created the world's largest lollipop (3,011 pounds, 1994).

Night Sky, 4/22: The last-quarter Moon rises as late as 3 am daylight-saving time Saturday morning, in Capricornus far to the lower right of Altair. It's exactly last-quarter at 7:56 am Saturday morning EDT. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Serpentine Galaxy NGC 5921 photographed by the Hubble on 4/8/22

This Week: Saturday, April 23 – National Dance Day & Talk Like Shakespeare Day

Sunday, April 24 – Blue Sunday & Mother, Father Deaf Day

Night Sky, 4/24 : Vega, the Summer Star, the zero-magnitude equal of Arcturus, is now twinkling low in the northeast after nightfall. . . depending on your latitude. The farther north you are the higher it will be. If you're in the latitudes of the southern US, you'll have to wait until a bit later after dark for it to appear.

Monday, April 25 – DNA Day & Licence Plates Day & Red Hat Society Day

Tuesday, April 26 – Audubon Day & Hug An Australian Day & Lesbian Visibility Day

Wednesday, April 27 – Denim Day & Morse Code Day & Walk at Lunch Day

Night Sky, 4/27: Venus, magnitude –4.4, is the bright "Morning Star" shining low in the southeast during dawn. Mars and Saturn glimmer to Venus's upper right, in that order. They're vastly fainter: almost identical at magnitudes +1.1 and +0.9. Mars, however, is more orange than pale yellow Saturn. Each morning they're a little farther from Venus and from each other.

Thursday, April 28 – Poem In Your Pocket Day & Workers Memorial Day & National Superhero Day

It's possible that humans would die out in a generation without the moon to spur their romantic fantasies. But I don't think Earth can count on that. / Without the moon the Earth will Wobble. Oops, misleading...the earth already wobbles now but it holds onto the moon so that it doesn't actually stagger. Hey, it's 4 1/2 billion years old. I'm only 78 and I wobble when I walk.

..........Can you see the tears roll down the street.........Stevie Ray Vaughn …..The Sky Is Crying

^^ Jelly beans are made using a candy process from France called “panning”. The process of panning makes it so the outer shell of the jelly bean is hard and the inside is gooey and jelly-like. The same process is used to make Jordan Almonds and used to be done by hand before machines were made for this purpose.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you learn religion from a fox, you believe stealing chickens is a virtue. --Turkish Proverb --Submitted by bd of ny

Moonbeam: What's vice today may be virtue, tomorrow. --Henry Fielding

Strange Fact of the Week: Facial recognition software can pick a person out of a crowd but the vending machine at work can’t recognize a dollar bill with a bent corner.

Video of the Week: Miranda Khan reading The Blossom of Floraland by Meredith & Miranda Khan https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVTPWxYiDyrmUa9Sb-xW76A?app=desktop ~~M & M Khan are the daughters of Joyce Frass Kahn with whom I was friends in high school and still see every week.

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Halloween reappears in a dandy form

With this sausage I feel like a man reborn

I'm filling this meat

With triangular treats

I'm stuffing my bratwurst with candy corn.

--Bill Kurtis Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 10/23/21

There is a community of the spirit. Join it. --Rumi

So the wobble becomes irregular and the pitch becomes much greater...or maybe it's yaw. Anyway it would cause quakes and volcanic eruptions and weather to rival the great eye on Jupiter. Real Wrath of Goddess stuff (Dr. Stantz) ... / Tides would disappear. In Kansas that won't make much difference until our backyards are beachfront property, but Florida would notice. Right away.

..........The pale yellow moon shone in his eyes.........Paul Simon …..Under African Skies

^^^ Due to the panning process used to make jelly beans, it takes up to 7-14 days to make just one bean!

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Whatever you say will be used against you in my novel.

Weird Word of the Week: Metoposcopist: A person who practices metoposcopy, the art of judging a person's character and fortune from his face, principally his forehead. https://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-met1.htm

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie and the Easter Egg Hunt

Old Weird Word of the Week: betrump (be-TRUMP) verb tr: 1) To deceive or cheat 2) To elude From be + French tromper (to deceive), which also gave us trumpery. First documented use 1522. https://wordsmith.org/

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Brush your teeth. Plain baking soda is a gentle abrasive that cleans like the strongest toothpaste. Apply Arm & Hammer Baking Soda to a damp toothbrush, brush as usual, and rinse. Note: Arm & Hammer Baking Soda does not contain fluoride. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/armhammer2.html

There wouldn't be any more honeymoons. We'd have to drink corn squeezin's instead of moonshine. People born in the sign of Cancer would become children of, I don't know, that 9^th planet that exists mathematically but nobody can quite find. Actually, that kind of fits Cancer, doesn't it?

...........With your eye so big and shiney.........Neville Brothers …..Yellow Moon

^^^^ After Ronald Reagan became President in 1981, the general public became aware of his preference for Jelly Belly jelly beans. The company supplied Reagan with Jelly Belly jelly beans during his eight years of presidency. ~~And none of the beans or the cash ever trickled down.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A woman has sparked controversy online after she ripped off the part of the Bible asking wives to be submissive to their husbands, and used it to smoke weed. --Submitted by MMS

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Penguicon 2022 (22-24, Detroit) Imagine a place where all geeky interests are represented, explored, and respected. https://2022.penguicon.org/

Vintage Players One Liner of the Week: Don't worry what people think, they don't do it often.

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Variational Analysis & Optimization (20-21, Ann Arbor & Online) A bilevel optimization problem is a special class of optimization problem partly constrained by another optimization problem. https://events.umich.edu/event/92789 ~~Sigh.....And they wonder why people don't take science seriously

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Older → Solder → Soldier

Nights would be very, very dark. Upside, we would be able to see the stars really well. / If we lived towards the center of the Milky Way where the cool galaxians live we'd see like a million more stars than we do now, out here in the boondocks at the end of this spiral tentacle. (They call it an arm, but it's a tentacle. They try to sugar coat it.)

..........Press your space face close to mine, love..........David Bowie …..Moonage Daydream

^^^^^ Jelly Belly company is reported to be the biggest jelly bean purveyor in the US. However, Jelly Belly also DOMINATES any information you find on line about jelly beans, so who knows. ~~The only other candy Jelly Belly sells is candy corn.

Quote of the Week: I must move to Florida so my children will be safe from math. / Rather than wear a mask while traveling, just talk loudly about your testicle tanning regimen. That will create a safe social-distancing zone.--Rex Huppke --Submitted by sb of ar

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I need to get in shape. If I were murdered right now, my chalk outline would be a circle. --Submitted by jm of ks

Today's Peace of History, April 22, 1970: Earth Day honors Rachel Carson, a woman who changed America and greatly influenced the environmental movement with her revolutionary book, Silent Spring. On the first Earth Day observance, an estimated 20 million participated in peaceful demonstrations of concern for the environment across the U.S.

Nocturnal animals would have a hard time. They'd bump into trees and not be able to find things they eat. When you walked out of your house in the morning, owls would ask for directions home.

..........Snow time ain't no time to stay outdoors and spoon.........Kate Smith …..Shine On Harvest Moon

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle April 22, 2022, Green ePistle 22. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Never trust sheep. --Ryan Styles

Cost of War:

As of 4/21/22 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $176,079,080,436

As of 4/14/22 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $175,528,189,760

As of 4/21/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,050,910,158,392.

As of 4/14/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,049,371,500,770.

As of 4/21/22 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,102,965,088,735.

As of 4/14/22 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,102,366,720,881.

As of 4/21/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,391,429,504.901 .

As of 4/14/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,379,766,119.092 .

As of 4/21/22 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,957,598,550,913.

As of 4/14/22 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,956,430,316,264.

As of 4/21/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,678,984,845,810.

As of 4/14/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,663,465,306,658.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

All your anxiety is because of your desire for harmony. Seek disharmony, then you will gain peace. --Rumi

Famous Last Words: ...soul man. --The Blues Brothers first appearance on SNL

..........The lovers, the dreamers and me.........Kermit the Frog …..Rainbow Connection

Finally, take a moment to contemplate what would happen to menstrual cycles ... and what that might mean for a weary world. --Non-Pharmaceutical Remedies for an Infestation of Homo Sapiens by Christine Smith

May Peace play in your mountains

And Joy swim in your waters

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Green ePistle

 Famous First Words: 99 44/100% Pure --Ivory Soap Slogan

April is National Frog Month! See, I love frog jokes, they're absolutely ribbeting. / A small pond with 144 frogs in residence is called Gross.

..........Blood is the rose of mysterious union........The Doors …..Peace Frog

An individual can march for peace or vote for peace and can have, perhaps, some small influence on global concerns. But the same individual is a giant in the eyes of a child at home. If peace is to be built, it must start with the individual. It is built brick by brick. --Dorothy Day

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sky is smeared with a thin layer of mist that the sun is valiantly trying to burn away. Sunrays that make it through spotlight the yellow tulips against the dusty green foliage and the dainty daffodils. Even the grass is spotted with violets and a few fat round dandelions. The breeze is so slight that I have to stop and concentrate to see even the willow branches sway. Birds are out enjoying the morning, singing to encourage the sun. darting about with straw dangling from their beaks. Squirrels are busy planning and executing raids on the neighbor's bird feeder. Ah, spring. But I'm indoors now because 47°F is a little chilly without a jacket. I am sipping coffee, breathing creamy steam, and taking small sips until it cools a little. Hope your morning is just as pleasant.

May your weekend shield you from the taxman, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've read too many books to believe what I'm told.

Buy a Bible, don't read it, you'll be a Catholic.

You know that thing you toad me to do? I frogot it. / Spy frogs communicate with Morse Toad.

..........Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit,.........Crazy Frog …..Who Let The Frog Out

Trivia Questions: A new baseball season has opened and the boys of summer are playing in ski clothes.

^ Which city was home to the very first professional baseball team?

^^ When or where or who is associated with the longest game ever played?

^^^ When or where or who is associated with the very first night game?

^^^^ When or where or who is associated with the first world series?

^^^^^ When did numbers for players first appear on jerseys?

Big Hello: Hej - Danish https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: English is a flawed language; consider this .. All the good faith that I had had, had had no effect on the outcome of that sentence.--Submitted by FNOG

Classic Max Picture of the Week: Max and the merry go round

Meditation of the Week: If a deaf child swears, does she get her hands washed instead of her mouth?

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: One in three library teams have been banned from their local trivia night bar. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

At the LLD (Lilypad Licensing Department): The cashier has a desk sign that says Permit the Frog. / Back in the 1970s there was a fad among frogs – jumpsuits.

..........You alone can get him singing.........Peter Gabriel …..Kiss That Frog

Puzzle of the Week: Last week's challenge came from listener Greg Van Mechelen, of Berkeley, Calif. Name two well-known celebrities of the past who had the same six-letter first names and the same initial in their last names. What follows that initial in one of the last names is a criminal activity. And what follows that initial in the other name is the result of that criminal activity. What celebrities are these? NPR Puzzle Sunday 4/10/22

Moonbeam: It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature. --Henry James

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don't be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years. --Submitted by NS

Week of the Week: World Irish Dancing Week (10-17) –You know he's an Irish dancer when he treats his shirt like glass and holds his shoes together with duct tape. / Sorry, I'm an Irish dancer, I can only count to eight.

McRanild's two most ordered items are French Flies and Diet Croak. / Kermit is releasing a line of open otad sandals.

..........He rode up to Miss Mousie's door, M-hm, M-hm.........Burl Ives …..Froggy Went A'courtin'

^ The Cincinnati Base Ball Club, also known as the Cincinnati Red Stockings, fielded the first known openly professional team in 1869 and played its first game against an opposing club on May 4. ~~Since this was the first “openly professional” team, there must have been secret, underground professional players in a closet somewhere. Something to think about.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 15, 2022. The moon will be full (Pink) tomorrow and is in Libra. It is Income Tax Pay Day, Jackie Robinson Day, Rubber Eraser Day, Take a Wild Guess Day, That Sucks Day, andWorld Art Day (DaVinci's Birthday). In Africa it is African Freedom Day.

Among those born on this day were Leonardo da Vinci (1452), Nanak (1469), John van Huysum (1682), Catherine I (1684), Leonhard Euler (1707), Charles Willson Peale (1741), Hermann Günther Grassmann (1809), Henry James (1843), Thomas Hart Benton (1889), Bessie Smith (1894), Marian Jordan (Molly McGee, 1897), Kim II Sung (1912), Hans Conried (1917), Nikolai S. Porvatkin (1932), Claudia Cardinale (1939), Phil Lesh (1940), Kim Il Jong (1942), John L Phillips (1951), Barbara Barrow (1955), Emma Thompson (1959), and Soichi Noguchi (1965).

On April fifteenth the bottle opener was invented (1738), England, Netherlands and Prussia signed a peace treaty (1788), the US's first school for the deaf opened (CT, 1817), San Francisco was incorporated (1850), Ivory Soap was introduced (1878), GE formed (1892), a 50 mile race was won by an electric car (1900), the first sound movie was shown (1923), FDR was buried (1945), the first MacDonald's opened (1955), Saturday mail delivery was restored (1957), John Foster Dulles, US Secretary of State, resigned (1959), SNCC (Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee) formed 1960, Disneyland Tokyo opened (1983), In Living Color premiered (1990), and Leona Helmsley went to jail (1992).

Night Sky, 4/15: This evening the Moon is only about 3/4 of a day from full (for evening in North America). Look below it for Spica. Much farther to the Moon's left is the brighter Arcturus. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Lawrence has been annexed by KC … here's the proof

This Week: Saturday, April 16 – Auctioneers Day & National Orchid Day & Save The Elephant Day

Sunday, April 17 – Bat Appreciation Day & Herbalist Day International Haiku Poetry Day

Night Sky, 4/17 : At nightfall, the Moon is in the dim feet of Virgo. Spica shines about 9° to its upper right (nearly a fist at arm's length), perhaps struggling to be seen through the moonlight. Brighter Arcturus is some 30° to the Moon's upper left.

Monday, April 18 – Pinata Day & National Stress Awareness Day & World Amateur Radio Day

Tuesday, April 19 – National Garlic Day & Bicycle Day & National Hanging Out Day

Wednesday, April 20 – 4/20 Day & Chinese Language Day & Banana Day

Thursday, April 21 – National Ask An Atheist Day & National Yellow Bat Day & Queen's Birthday

Night Sky, 4/21: Lyrids Meteor Shower: peak 21-22.The Lyrids are a medium strength shower that usually produces good rates for three nights centered on the maximum. These meteors also usually lack persistent trains but can produce fireballs. These meteors are best seen from the northern hemisphere where the radiant is high in the sky at dawn. Activity from this shower can be seen from the southern hemisphere, but at a lower rate.

I dated this guy until I found out he was a frog under a spell to live as a prince. Too bad, he kept the backyard free of flies and ticks. / What's green and loud? Froghorn

..........See me in a wood bog.........Lou Reed …..Hop Frog

^^ The longest game was 25 innings between the Milwaukee Brewers and the Chicago Whtie Sox on May 8, 1984. (The White Sox won 7 to 6.) The game lasted 8 hours and 6 minutes – not including a rest period between the 17^th and 18^th innings.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When I was a kid...wait...I still do that...never mind. --Submitted by INRITH

Buy a Bible, read only what suits you, and you'll be an evangelical.

Moonbeam: Geometry can in no way be viewed... as a branch of mathematics; instead, geometry relates to something already given in nature, namely, space. --Hermann Günther Grassmann

Strange Fact of the Week: Some people seem to have aged like fine wine. I aged like milk ... I got sour and chunky.

Video of the Week: Tornado in Iowa 4/14/22 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbUQyYZbOu0

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: What happens on the Zany Bible Show? Hey, 2 Corinthian walk into a bar... --Peter Sagal ... Tip your Samaritans, am I right? --Helen Hong Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 4/9/22

Dear God, enlarge our hearts to love one another. --Dorothy Day

My dog fell in love with a frog from the stream out back. Now I also have a Croaker Spaniel. / I had two pet frogs and one of them died. His friend was unhoppy for 2 months.

..........And green can be cool and friendly like.........Kermit The Frog …..It Ain't Easy Being Green

^^^ a) Major League: The Cincinnati Reds beat the Philadelphia Phillies 2-1 on May 24, 1935 in Major League Baseball’s first-ever night game, played courtesy of recently installed lights at Crosley Field in Cincinnati. b) Minor League: The first-ever night game in professional baseball took place May 2, 1930, when a Des Moines team hosted Wichita for a Western League game. The game drew 12,000 people at a time when Des Moines was averaging just 600 fans per game.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't always experience all 4 seasons in one day, but when I do, I'm in Kansas.

Weird Word of the Week: Leiotrichous – having straight hair. Greek: leios – smooth plus trikhos – hair. https://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-lei1.htm

Second Cousin Once Removed of Not So Late Night Snacks: Cracker Jack is now introducing Cracker Jill: We've won the gender equality battle. Forget making 73 cents to a dollar, We have cracker jill. --Helen Hong ... You know, the difference between Cracker Jacks and Cracker Jills, no nuts. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 4/9/22

Classic Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie and his faithful steed

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Take a refreshing bath. Dissolve one-half cup Arm & Hammer Baking Soda in a tub of warm water for soft, smooth-feeling skin and a relaxing bath. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/armhammer2.html

A frog that lies is an am-fib-ian. / My pet frog really wants to be a rapper; she's really into hip-hop.

...........So I'm proud to be what I am.........Sesame Street Gang …., The Frogs In The Glen

^^^^ The first World Series took place in 1903, between the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Boston Americans, who later became the Red Sox. Boston won.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Given the price of gas, soon it will be cheaper to snort coke and run wherever you're going.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: NorwesCon 2022 (14-17) – Norwescon is the Pacific Northwest’s premier science fiction and fantasy convention, and one of the largest entirely volunteer-operated regional conventions in the United States. https://www.norwescon.org/

Another Image of the Week: Achelous & Hercules by Thomas Hart Benton, a Kansas City resident was displayed on the first floor of Harzfeld's in downtown KC. Happy Birthday, Tom. The building is gone and the mural is now in the Smithsonian Museum of American Art.

~~Apparently it is illegal to show this image without permission. Please write to me when I'm in jail.

Actual Science Conference of the Week: TechCrunch Early Stage 2022: (14, San Francisco) --an unrivaled opportunity to learn from top experts how best to move ahead in the startup game... https://techcrunch.com/events/tc-early-stage-2022/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Johnny Carson and Johnny Cash (ARSON --> ASH)

Frieda Frog went to the day surgery because she needed a hoperation. / Little known fact: the Kansas Jump Shot coach is Kermit the Frog.

..........We all know frogs go, “la-de-da-di-da.........The Wiggles …..Galpump West the Little Green Frog

^^^^^ Both the Cleveland Indians and St Louis Cardinals had tried jerseys with numbers on the sleeve to help the fans differentiate the players but never for more than a few games. In 1929, the New York Yankees and Cleveland Indians started the season with uniform numbers on the back of the jersey. The Yankees were rained out on opening day. The Cleveland Indians were the first MLB franchise to wear numbers on the back in a game. Initially they wore numbers based on the batting order. For example, Babe Ruth was always third, so he was number 3.

My Own Writing of the Week: Hair lived in a dorm across campus from my approved housing. He and I met at a party filled with almost nobody I'd ever met before. His hair was dark and curly; and it almost seemed to have a life and will of its own. He walked me home and kissed me well and met me in the union the next day. That's where he began to talk about sex and didn't really stop. He talked about ways to have sex and what sex meant and why people have sex. But we didn't have any place to have sex. He lived in a boys dorm and I lived in approved (i.e. soft-core prison for girls) housing. By the time a weekend rolled around and he could borrow somebody's car - I was totally out of the mood. The actual sexual encounter (cramped missionary) in the backseat took about 2 minutes and I never saw him again. I'm not sure I should even count it as sexual although encounter certainly fits. --From Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, fantasies, and out right lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution

Quote of the Week: He knows politics is entertainment. --Lyric from Kurt Jantz's song called Matt Gaetz.

Buy a Bible, read it fully, analyze it, reason it, and you will be an atheist.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When someone tells me they are Christian, I ask: Classic Jesus or Republican Jesus? --Submitted by bc of tx

Today's Peace of History, April 15, 1967: Amidst growing opposition to the war in Vietnam, large-scale anti-war protests were held in New York, San Francisco, and other cities. In New York, the protest began in Central Park, where over 150 draft cards were burned, and concluded at the United Nations with speeches by Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Dr. Benjamin Spock.

Musk is so rich he had a VW Beetle made just for his pet frog. / What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common? Their middle name.

..........The crowd roared like a lion...........Wesley Willis …..The Frogs

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle April 15, 2022, Green ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Lenin lived, Lenin lives, Lenin will live. --Kim Il-sung

Last Minute Added Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The heroic cruiser Moskva promoted to submarine.

Cost of War:

As of 4/14/22 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $175,528,189,760

As of 4/07/22 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $174,974,683,258

As of 4/14/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,049,371,500,770.

As of 4/07/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,047,825,954,294.

As of 4/14/22 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,102,366,720,881.

As of 4/07/22 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,101,765,802,900.

As of 4/14/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,379,766,119.092 .

As of 4/07/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,368,052,120.646 .

As of 4/14/22 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,956,430,316,264.

As of 4/07/22 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,955,256,885,644.

As of 4/14/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,663,465,306,658.

As of 4/07/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,647,875,242,653.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

You can spend your time agonizing or organizing. --Dorothy Day

Famous Last Words: You hope I miss it, yeah. --Final line of the first commercially shown film. Weber & Fields (their pool hall routine)

..........One jumped into the pool where it was nice and cool.........LooLoo …..Five Speckled Frogs

Enrico Frogio wanted to be a tenor at the Metropolitan Hopera House but he was tongue tied. / Jon Baptiste Frog just won the top award at the Grammy Awarts.

May Peace be your cloak

And Joy be your crown

prairie mama

christine

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