Friday, February 1, 2019

Olden ePistle


Famous First Words: The one common undertaking... Trygve Lie
Today is Spunky Old Broads Day !! I was walking in the park recently and an old man sitting on one of the benches whistled at me. So I stopped and turned around to give him a piece of my mind when I realized he was wheezing not whistling.
..........At the break of day….......Kingston Trio …..Early in the Morning
Peace is a puzzle missing a piece, that picture will form when our differences cease.
It is a cold (21°F) Friday morning. The sun is trying to warm the earth as it lights the skies and then the tree tops and finally the side of the house. There is little wind to shake the willow branches or rattle the windows, but the grass crackles under foot and Puck returns to the warmth quickly without being called. So we stand in the doorway but hear no birdsong or motor noises and close the door to hear the furnace fan hum and the coffee maker splash. The outdoors had no smell but the house is filled with the aroma of brewing decaf and spent incense. Puck watches me for a while and then settles into a nap. I doctor a cup of coffee with cream and sweetener and sit down to write to you. Already it's a good morning.
Hope your weekend is the spunkiest yet, ePistliers.
Instead of the John I call my bathroom the Jim! That way it sounds better when I say I go the Jim first thing every morning. / The Committee hosting Woodstock 50th Anniversary has requested that those people who were nude at the original festival refrain from repeating the act.
..........when they say oh, la la….......Everly Brothers …..Wake Up Little Susie
Trivia Questions: Happy Bubble Gum Day !!
^ Care to guess how many tons of bubble gum are chewed every year?
^^ Any idea what percentage of bubble gum is sugar?
^^^ How about the number of sticks of gum chewed per person in the US per year?
^^^^ What sandwich product is useful for getting popped bubbles out of your hair?
^^^^^ Under what name was bubble game first marketed?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When they say “2% milk”, I'm not sure what the other 98% is.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 89% of librarians have a favorite conference cardigan. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
First Friendly Advice of the Week: When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick. --Bill Lemley Submitted by nm of ks
I felt like my body had gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising…. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. / Here I stand, er sit, folks, the spirit of the 60s in my 70s.
..........You believe what you want to believe..........Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers …..Refugee
Moonbeam: I have Bright's disease and he has mine. --S J Perelman
Something to Think About of the Week:

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Time flies if you have a TARDIS.
Week of the Week: Catholic Schools Week (1/27-2/2) – I went to Catholic school for 12 years. People always go, “Jimmy, you went to Catholic school for 12 years, how come you're not a Catholic?” I say, “Because, I went to Catholic school for 12 years. ---Jimmy Dore / You don't scare me, I was taught by nuns.
With my ailing memory I'm thinking of changing my password to “incorrect”. That way, when I log in my computer will sya “Your password is incorrect”. / My Happy Hour is a nap.
..........This time tomorrow, reckon where I'll be….......Kingston Trio …..Tom Dooley
^ 100,000 tons of bubble gum is chewed every year around the world.
Almanac: It is Friday, February 1, 2019. The moon will be new on Monday and is in Capricorn. It is Bubble Gum Day, Car Insurance Day, Hula in the Coola Day, Give Kids a Smile Day, Freedom Day, Robinson Crusoe Day, Serpent Day, Spunky Old Broads Day, Wear Red Day, and Working Naked Day.
Among those born on this day were Thomas Campbell (1763), Charles J. Sax (1791), John Ford (1895), Clark Gable (1901), Langston Hughes (1902), S. J. Perelman (1904), Boris Yeltsin (1931), Bob Shane (Kingston Trio, 1934), Don Everly (The Everly Brothers, 1937), Garret Morris (1937), Sherman Hemsley (1938), Mike Campbell (The Heartbreakers, 1954), Billy Mumy (1954), Laura Dern (1967), Lisa Marie Presley Keough Jackson (1968), and Pauly Shore (1968).
On February first Sweden and Prussia signed a peace treaty (1720), the Supreme Court convened for the first time (1790), the first "March of Time" newsreel premiered (1935), Trygve Lie became the first Secretary-General of the UN (1946), the first US satellite was launched (Explorer I, 1958), Vince Lombardi resigned the Green Bay Packers (1968), and Harriet Tubman became the first black woman on a US stamp (1978).
Night Sky, 2/1: As soon as it's fully dark, spot the bright, equilateral Winter Triangle in the southeast. Sirius is its brightest and lowest star. Betelgeuse stands above Sirius by about two fists at arm's length. To the left of their midpoint is Procyon. And, standing 4° above Procyon is 3rd-magnitude Gomeisa, Beta Canis Minoris, the only other easy naked-eye star of Canis Minor. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max learning to swim with the Shelton Cooper method.

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They only person Trump ever hired who was actually qualified to do their job was Stormy Daniels. --Roy Zimmerman
This Week: Saturday, February 2 – World Hijab Day & Barber Day & Candlemas aka Groundhog Day aka Hedgehog Day
Sunday, February 3 – Feed the Birds Day & Popcorn Day & Puppy Bowl 15
Night Sky, 2/3: The sky's biggest asterism — at least the biggest that's widely recognized — is the Winter Hexagon. It fills the sky toward the east and south these evenings. Start with brilliant Sirius at its bottom. Going clockwise from there, march up through Procyon, Pollux and Castor, Menkalinan and Capella on high, down to Aldebaran, then to Rigel in Orion's foot, and back to Sirius. Betelgeuse shines inside the Hexagon, off center.
Monday, February 4 – National Hemp Day & Quacker Day
Tuesday, February 5 – African American Coaches Day & Chinese New Year
Night Sky, 2/5: Mercury is out of sight in conjunction with the Sun. Venus & Jupiter rise above the east-southeast horizon before dawn with Saturn low in the glow. Mars glows high in the southwest at nightfall. Uranus is well up in the southwest right after dark and Neptune is quite low in the west-southwest right after dark.
Wednesday, February 6 – Canadian Maple Syrup Day & National Signing Day & Play Monopoly Day
Thursday, February 7 – Dry Bean Day & National Periodic Table Day

..........Johnny sings a love song (like a bird).........Everly Brothers …..Bird Song
^^ 60 to 70 percent of bubble gum is sugar or sugar substitute.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say: Hey look, that one is shaped like an idiot.
Moonbeam: You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can't sit on it for long. --Boris Yeltsin
Late Night Snacks: Giuliani, Smeagal on a good hair day, "I am everything. I am nothing. I am old. I am young. I am ever-ending, just begun. Behold, I am Rudy, destroyer of clients." --Stephen Colbert / McConnell rules Congress with an iron flipper. He could end this,” by calling for a vote and overriding the president’s veto, “but he’s hoping no one notices that --Samatha Bee / Usually when Drumpf bends over for a woman (Pelosi) like that, it’s because she’s spanking him with a magazine with his face on it. --Jimmy Kimmel / When Moses came down from the mountain he had 10 commandents and 2 Mueller subpoenas –Treor Noah
Not So Late Night Snacks: Amy Dickinson: My favorite insulting tweet he sent out in Nancy Pelosi's direction went something like, Nancy Pelosi, who I call Nancy. Peter Sagal: Yeah, woah. It's, like, what happened? I mean, just Nancy? That's his insulting nickname? We assume that the White House senior official who's in charge of insulting nicknames has been furloughed. --Wait Wait Don't Tell Me (1/26/19)
Peace is a gift to God, Peace is for love.
I'm way past growing old gracefully, so I've committed to growing old disgracefully. / I knew I was getting old when my bank started sending my new calendar one month at a time.
..........You take it on faith, you take it to your heart..........Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers …..The Waiting
^^^ The average American chews around 300 sticks of gum in one year.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The first episode of March of Time contained segments on Saionji, Japanese leadership / Speakeasy Street, 21 Club during Prohibition / Belisha Beacons, British traffic lights / Moe Buchsbaum, French fines / Fred Perkins, NRA wage-scale directives ' / Metropolitan Opera, Giulio Gatti-Casazza retires.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap.
Weird Word of the Week: Scacchic – pertaining to chess “Stern old fellows were these scacchic sages! They considered the laws of chess as inviolable as those of the Medes and Persians. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-sca3.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove oil spots from driveways. Spray with WD-40, wait, then blot. The minerals spirits and other petroleum distillates in WD-40 work as a curing agent.
Actually, you can have a healthy sex life well into your later years. Assuming you can stand the sight of people your age naked. / Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past a mirror.
...........Way up Suzianna….......Kingston Trio …..Bay of Mexico
^^^^ If your popped bubble gets stuck in your hair, you can remove it by rubbing it with peanut butter.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: As soon as space travel is possible, I'm moving from the Milky Way to the Soymilky Way. I'm glactose intolerant.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Foolscap 2019 (2/1-3, Seattle) Everyone is interesting at Foolscap. https://www.foolscap.org/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: Gordon Research Conference – Plant Lipids; Structure, Metabolism and Function (1/27-2/2, Galeston) "End hunger, achieve food security, improve nutrition, and promote sustainable agriculture". https://www.grc.org/plant-lipids-structure-metabolism-and-function-conference/2019/
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Our fearless Puck is still mostly hibernating but he's dreaming of active days and the case of the Spring Spreagle.

The other day I was hanging out with friends and Betty said, “It's windy isn't it?” Susan said, “No, It's Thursday.” I answered, “Me too, let's get a beer.” / I'm old enough that the only fast lane I manage is when I have 8 items or less.
..........Bye, bye happiness.........Everly Brothers …..Bye Bye Love
^^^^^ The first bubble gum ever marketed was done so under the name “Blibber-Blubber”.
Month of the Week: February is Beat The Heat Month –It was so cold you had to break the smoke off your chimney / It was so cold people looked forward to getting a fever / It was so cold the legs of Richard Simmon's shorts were clear down to half thigh
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: For every major mistake America has made in the last 30 years, there is a video Bernie Sanders trying to stop it. --Submitted by rhb of ks
Last Piece of Friendly Advice: Be careful not to confuse a life lesson for a soulmate. -Dylan Farella
Grammar Joke of the Week: A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
Today's Peace of History: February 1, 1960: Four black college students sat in at Woolworth's lunch counter in Greensboro, NC, where they'd been refused service, to protest segregation. Similar protests subsequently took place all over the South and in some northern communities. By September 1961, more than 70,000 students, white and black, had participated, and many were arrested, during sit-ins. ~~Wichita, KS held a successful lunch counter sit-in at Dockum Drug Store in 1958.
I have a mobile phone but I never carry it with me in public. If it rang, people would notice that I don't know how to answer it. / Instead of rocking around the clock, I'm limping around the block.
..........To do it all again, babe..........Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers …..Change of Heart
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle February 1, 2019. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace and spunky laughs. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby. --Langston Hughes
Cost of War:
As of 1/31/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,894,554,985,139.
As of 1/24/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,892,611,682,458.
As of 1/31/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $876,483,899,079.
As of 1/24/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $875,163,179,158.
As of 1/31/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $651,522,525,622.
As of 1/24/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $649,862,208,805.
As of 1/31/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $303,709,646,578.
As of 1/24/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $303,332,306,077.
As of 1/31/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,726,271,643,354.
As of 1/24/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,720,970,109,344.
Peace is a key to a calmer world, Peace is a friendship that must be passed on. http://corlett.blogspot.com/2004/09/childrens-peace-quotes.html
..........He's the man who never returned….......Kingston Trio …..M.T.A.
What do we want? Better Memory!! When do we want it? Want what? / At least you know your secrets are safe with me, I can't even remember my kids names.
Famous Last Words: And bring about a world of brotherhood. --Langston Hughes Give Us Our Peace
May your Peace be joyful
And Joy be peaceful
prairie mama
christine


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