Friday, February 22, 2019

ePistologic ePistle


Famous First Words: We, the people of Hawaii, grateful for Divine Guidance... Constitution of the State of Hawaii
Welcome to Girl Scout World Thinking Day: A renowned philosopher was held in high regard by his driver, who listened in awe as his boss lectured and answered difficult questions about the nature of things and the meaning of life. Then, one day, the driver approached the philosopher and asked if he was willing to switch roles for just one evening. The philosopher agreed, and, for a while, the driver handled himself remarkably well. However, when the time came for questions, someone at the back of the room asked him, "Is the epistemological meta-narrative that you seem to espouse compatible with a teleological account of the universe?" "That's an extremely simple question," he replied. "So simple, in fact, that even my driver could answer it."
..........Some dance to remember, some dance to forget..........The Eagles …..Hotel California
Peace is a star trying to shine. Peace is a shadow trying not to hide.
It is a cold (31°F) Friday morning. The pale blue day is liberally littered with puffy white clouds that are almost but not quite like buttermilk skies. While there is little breeze to insinuate the cold into the clothing, still the nose gets frosty and the little dog slides on ice patches. In a tree at the end of the cul-de-sac sits a hawk whose silence greets us warmly. Other birds are flitting about making noises and discussing their plans for the day, but the hawk sits without sound or movement. Snow still covers most of the sidewalk but the street is clear and we wind our way along it, smelling every tuft of exposed grass or bit of bare cement. We see no people or other dogs on our walk, only snow covered yards and frozen pavement. So we return to warmth and the smell of fresh coffee and the sound of the furnace fan. Puck drinks his bowl of milk and settles into an early morning nap dreaming, no doubt, of squirrels in a white yard. I fix a cup of decaf – heavily creamed and artificially sweetened – and sit down to think about you.
Hope your weekend is filled with thoughtless fun, ePistliers
Try this: Think about Zen, think about thinking nothing.
A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on a desert island. They’re hungry. Like, desert island hungry. And then a can of soup washes ashore. Progresso Reduced Sodium Chicken Noodle, let’s say. Which is perfect, because the physicist can’t have much salt, and the chemist doesn’t eat red meat. But, famished as they are, our three professionals have no way to open the can. So they put their brains to the problem. The physicist says “We could drop it from the top of that tree over there until it breaks open.” And the chemist says “We could build a fire and sit the can in the flames until it bursts open.” Those two squabble a bit, until the economist says “No, no, no. Come on, guys, you’d lose most of the soup. Let’s just assume a can opener.”
..........It's happening again..........The Eagles …..Wasted Time
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to Woolworth's !
^ Where did the first Woolworth's open?
^^ Which Woolworth's is credited with the birth of the lunch counter sit-in movement?
^^^ Know what the F.W. of F.W. Woolworth Co. stands for?
^^^^ How many Woolworth's are still open in the US?
^^^^^ By what name is F. W. Woolworth Co. now known?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How does a Flat Earther travel the world? On a plane.
Real Housewives of Oz Quote of the Week: Great, the sun is out. Now I can get sunburn and frostbite at the same time.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 48% of libraries are haunted by the ghost of at least one former director. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
You've heard of the Platonic kiss. The Godelian Kiss takes an extraordinarily long time, yet leaves you unable to decide whether you've been kissed or not. The Hegelian Kiss incorporates its own antikiss, forming a synthekiss.
..........Tell me your secrets, I'll tell you mine..........The Eagles …..Victim of Love
Moonbeam: There are plenty of images of women in science fiction. There are hardly any women. --Joanna Russ
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Haminat – Serrano (Ut0Aztecan) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I dusted once. It came back. I'm not falling for that again. --Submitted by ra of ks
Week of the Week: National Condom Week (2/14-21) –Cover your stump before you hump / No Balloon, No Party / Don't Be Silly, Protect Your Willy / Don't be a prick, cover your dick or Don't be a dick, cover your prick / You can't go wrong if you shield your dong ~~That was fun
Logic – to the layman “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few”...To the philosopher “involves upside down As and reversed Es. / Absurd – to the layman “silly” … To the philosopher “very silly”.
..........They threw outrageous parties, they paid heavenly bills..........The Eagles …..Life In the Fast Lane
^ The first Woolworth store was opened 1878, as "Woolworth's Great Five Cent Store" in Utica, New York.
Almanac: It is Friday, February 22, 2019. The moon was full (Snow) last Tuesday (2/19) and is currently in Libra. It is Be Humble Day, National Margarita Day, Woolworth's Day, World Thinking Day, and George Washington's Birthday. In the British Commonwealth it is Girl Guides Thinking Day (1857). Egypt and Syria celebrate Unity Day (1958) and India celebrates Mothers Day. México commemorates National Mourning Day (Francisco I Madero-1913). In St Lucia it is Independence Day (1979) and in the Virgin Island it is Donkey Races Day.
Among those born on this day were Anthony Van Dyck (1599), George Washington (1732), Arthur Schopenhauer (1788), Frederic Chopin (1810), James Lowell (1819), Heinrich Hertz (1857), Mary Ellen Chase (1887), Chico Marx (1891), Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892), Luis Brunel (1900), Robert Young (1907), Sheldon Leonard (1907), John Mills (1908), Charles O Finley (1918), Edward Kennedy (1932), Joanna Russ (1937), and Kyle MacLachlan (1958).
On Febraury twenty-second Spain sold east Florida to the USA (1821), the Republican Party held it's frist convention (Pittsburgh, 1854), the Prohibition Party held its first convention (Columbus, OH 1872), The Greenback Labor Party formed (Toledo, 1878), the first Woolworth's opened (1879), the Union Labor Party was organized (Cincinnati, 1887), Lady Windermere's Fan premiered (1892), both Dakotas plus Montana and Washington were admitted to the union (1889), Hawaii became a territory (1900), Wilt Chamberlain set NBA record with 34 free throw attempts (1962), MacBird premiered (1967), Nixon met Premier Chou En-Lai in China (1972), and the Eagles released Hotel California (1977).
Night Sky, 2/22: Winter still has a month to go, but a preview of spring stars awaits if you step outside after about 11 pm. By then the waning gibbous Moon will be up in the east tonight. Look for Spica to its lower right by about 7° (less than a fist at arm's length). Four times farther to the Moon's upper left shines brighter Arcturus, pale yellow-orange. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max, the Snow Angel,
and Lulu, his St. Bernard rescuer
This Week: Saturday, February 23 – International Tongue Twister Day & National Dog Biscuit Day
Sunday, February 24 – Single Tasking Day & Open That Bottle Night
Night Sky, 2/24: An easier Sirius sight: Using binoculars, examine the spot 4° south of Sirius (directly below it around 8 or 9 pm. now). Four degrees is somewhat less than the width of a typical binocular's field of view. Can you see a little patch of speckly gray haze? That's the open star cluster M41, about 2,200 light-years away. Sirius, by comparison, is only 8.6 light-years away.
Monday, February 25 – Museum Advocacy Day & National Cupcake Day
Tuesday, February 26 – National Personal Chef's Day & For Pete's Sake Day & Spay Day USA
Wednesday, February 27 – Inconvenience Yourself Day & World Retrospective Day
Night Sky, 2/27: These moonless evenings of late winter are an ideal time to look for the zodiacal light if you live in the mid-northern latitudes. Why? This is the time of year when the ecliptic tilts most steeply upward from the western horizon at nightfall. From a clear, clean, dark location, look west at the very end of twilight for a vague but huge, tall pyramid of pearly light. It's tilted to the left, aligning along the constellations of the zodiac. What you're seeing is sunlit interplanetary dust orbiting the Sun near the ecliptic plane. Believe it or not, seen from interstellar distances this would be the solar system's most prominent feature after the Sun itself; it's very big, making up for its dim surface brightness.
Thursday, February 28 – Floral Design Day & National Chili Day & National Tooth Fairy Day
No one ever wanted to play golf with Kant since he was such a stickler about following the rules. He claimed that it was Imperative to do so. Kropotkin, on the other hand, never adhered to any rule. Stories abound about how he teed off from the seventh green, taking aim toward the fourteenth hole. Most golfers considered Kropotkin positively dangerous. One had to wait endlessly in the clubhouse for Zeno to get started; it seemed like he could never reach the first hole.
..........Someone should send you a rose..........The Eagles …..Pretty Maids All In a Row
^^ The Greensboro sit-ins were a series of nonviolent protests in Greensboro, North Carolina, in 1960, which led to the Woolworth department store chain removing its policy of racial segregation in the Southern United States.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Moonbeam: Talent hits a target no one else can hit; genius hits a target no one else can see. --Arthur Schopenhauer
Late Night Snacks of the Week: What the hell, he’s back to Crooked Hillary and Russia hoax? Oh wait, oh no – did someone reset Donald Drumpf to factory settings? --Stephen Colbert / Wait, you’re declaring a national emergency? This is like one of those news stories where a crazy guy calls 911 because McDonald’s ran out of nuggets. There’s nothing wrong with McDonald’s – you’re the problem. --Seth Meyers / Most people thought the big Drumpf tax cut was going cut their taxes, it turns out that the reason it was called the Drumpf tax cuts is because it only cut taxes for Drumpf, specifically. --Jimmy Kimmel / Now we’re doing ‘finish the wall’? I don’t know how much actual work they’re doing on the border, but I guess in Drumpf’s chant world, they’re making a lot of progress. --Trevor Noah
Not So Late Night Snacks: How low can you go? The president is going to save face. He's going to save face by totally caving on the wall by declaring a national emergency. If you have an emergency, building a big, long cement wall is the slowest way to solve it. Right? If you need border security, let's just send all those unvaccinated kids from Washington down there. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
Peace is something that unites us together. Peace is happiness that we hold I our hearts forever.
Solipsism Warning Label: The consumer should be aware that he or she may be the only entity in the universe, and therefore that any perceived defects in product quality are the consumer's own fault. / Epistemological Denotation Warning Label: The consumer must understand that due to the a-priori impossibility of assuring a shared denotation amongst independent agents, none of the advertising material, product literature, instructions, or safety warnings (including this one), associated with this product may contain what the consumer perceives to be factual information.
..........It's those restless hearts that never mend..........The Eagles …..New Kid In Town
^^^ Frank Winfield Woolworth, a brash, anglophile American claimed he could trace his family roots back to Wooley in Cambridgeshire.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The Greenback Labor Party was formed in the years following the American Civil War. During the Civil War, the federal government issued "greenback" paper money to keep a sufficient amount of currency in circulation. Because this type of money was not backed by gold or silver, inflation resulted and the greenbacks declined in value. By the end of the Civil War, a one-dollar greenback had decreased in value to only forty-six cents. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wd40.html
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We should legalize cannabis in all 50 states, use the taxes to repair roads & highways & call it Operation Pothole. –Billy Murray --Submitted by sd of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Verecund – modest, bashful, or shy...From 1916 - http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-ver1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean sap from gardening equipment – Spray with WD-40, wait, and wipe clean.
Existentialist Tobacco Products Label: Warning! this product has been found to cause cancer and emphysema, and to lead to increased likelihood of strokes and heart disease. However, as the Universe is a soulless waste inhabited by unthinking machines it doesn't matter in the least whether you smoke or not. Go ahead, light up, it's all the same to me if you live or die.
...........Sometimes you need a friend..........The Eagles …..Try And Love Again
^^^^ On July 17, 1997, Woolworth's closed its remaining department stores in the US and changed its corporate name to Venator. Retail chains using the Woolworth name survive in Austria, Germany, Mexico, and, until early 2009, the United Kingdom.
Nameless Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I had a hen who could count her own eggs. She was a mathemachicken. --Submitted by fb of ks
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Con Nooga 2019 (2/22-24, Chattanooga) Over 160,000 square feet of Fandom Fun. http://www.connooga.com/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: 32nd Annual Workshop on Recent Developments in Computer Simulations Studies in Condensed Matter Physics/ )2/18-22, Athen, GA) https://www.csp.uga.edu/Workshop/2019
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck deeply thinking about the case of the Bashful Basenji.

Dean, to the physics department. "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."
..........Don't know what a slide rule is for..........Simon & Garfunkle …..Wonderful World
^^^^^ By 2001, the company focused exclusively on the sporting goods market, changing its name to the present Foot Locker, Inc.
Month of the Week: February is National Time Management Month --The first-grader asked his mother why Daddy brought home a briefcase full of papers every evening. She explained, “It’s because Daddy has so much to do he can’t finish at the office and has to work nights.” “Well, then,” said the child, “why don’t they just put him in a slower group?” --Edwin Bliss
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This area has gone 27,843,723,145 day without a velociraptor attack.
Grammar Joke of the Week: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
Today's Peace of History, February 22, 1974: Farmer Sam Lovejoy toppled the weather tower for a proposed nuclear power plant in Montague, Massachusetts. This was the first act of civil disobedience against the dangers of nuclear power in the U.S. Lovejoy turned himself in to the police, was tried but not convicted.
Excerpts from Satre's early diaries concerning his attempts to write a cookbook: Spoke with Camus today about my cookbook. Though he has never actually eaten, he gave me much encouragement. I rushed home immediately to begin work. How excited I am! I have begun my formula for a Denver omelet. / Still working on the omelet. There have been stumbling blocks. I keep creating omelets one after another, like soldiers marching into the sea, but each one seems empty, hollow, like stone. I want to create an omelet that expresses the meaninglessness of existence, and instead they taste like cheese. I look at them on the plate, but they do not look back. Tried eating them with the lights off. It did not help. Malraux suggested paprika.
..........Say the word I'm thinking of..........The Beatles …..The Word
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, Epistologic ePistle February 22, 2019. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Deep peace and shallow laughs. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Librarian's Motto: Do not ever underestimate my ability to find shit out. --Submitted by dr of oh
Moonbeam: My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night; but ah, my foes, and oh, my friends-- it gives a lovely light. --Edna St. Vincent Millay
Cost of War:
As of 2/21/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,900,474,250,002.
As of 2/14/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,898,513,591,998.
As of 2/21/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $880,506,830,733.
As of 2/14/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $879,174,351,460.
As of 2/21/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $656,579,818,438.
As of 2/14/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $654,904,001,279.
As of 2/21/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $304,859,031,863.
As of 2/14/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $304,478,425,396.
As of 2/21/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,742,420,517,663.
As of 2/14/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,737,072,192,113.
Peace is like a hand reaching out to touch. Peace is like a warm hug showing you love so much. http://corlett.blogspot.com/2004/09/childrens-peace-quotes.html
..........You call someplace paradise, kiss it goodbye..........The Eagles …..The Last Resort
Post-modernism: You may have two degrees, but I read an article once on Wikipedia. / Post-modern Knitting: Appropriate one, deconstruct one, pass appropriation over...
Famous Last Words: ...a very good woman! --Oscar Wilde Lady Windermere's Fan
May Peace dominate your thoughts
And Joy pervade your life
prairie mama
christine


Last Laugh:


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Friday, February 15, 2019

Emotional ePistle


Famous First Words: The Inhabitants of The City... Charter of the City of St. Louis
Belated Happy Valentine's Day ~~Jane was dating a pastry chef but he desserted her. / Skunks love Valentine's Day because they're scentimental creatures.
….......My funny words.........Chicago …..At The Sunrise
Peace is love waiting to be shared. Peace is people hand in hand, closer to God.
It is a frigid (16°F) Friday morning. A light breeze insists that I notice the cold and Puck hurries through his business and returns quickly to the house. There is a thick cloud cover that obscures any sunlight from reaching below it so that the whole world looks gray; and as I watch out the window the snow begins. The first few flakes are fluffy and fat and the fall and gather on the patio table. Then they are driven by a north wind and they fly past. When the gust is over flakes come straight down, quickly as if they had weight for gravity to act upon. In the time it has taken me to type this, the roof next door is covered in white. It is lovely. I am sitting in my warm room, sipping hot coffee, and smelling the orange waiting by my keyboard; I can afford to think it is graceful and fascinating and beautiful. I hope wherever you are that you are as warm and comfortable and surrounded by as much beauty.
Hope your weekend redefines fun, ePistliers.
Adam and Eve never had a date, they had an apple instead. / Freddie the flame fell in love when he found his perfect match.
..........Saying, “Tear the system down”.........Chicago …..State Of The Union
Trivia Questions: Happy National Gumdrop Day
^ Know why they are drops as opposed to cones or bullets?
^^ Where would you find Gumdrop Pass and Gumdrop Mountain?
^^^ Care to guess the weight of world's largest gumdrop?
^^^^ What NASA equipment was nicknamed Gumdrops?
^^^^^ Any idea what's in a gumdrop martini?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: One of the hardest pills to swallow is being a biological parent trying to discipline the YOU out of your child.
Friendly Advice of the Week: Don't judge me until you've flown a mile on my broom. --Submitted by eg of mt
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 62% of book tape is used to remove pet hair from cardigans. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Fourth Cousin of Funniest Thing Read of the Week: Two things that will never get old: dark humor and unvaccinated children. --Submitted by ma of va
Betty and Buddy Bedbug fell in love and were married in the spring. / The hamburgers took their dates to the meatball for Valentine's Day.
..........Where you been keepin' yourself, my friend..........Chicago …..Long Time No See
Moonbeam: Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less. --Susan B Anthony
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Zdravo (Ʒдpabo) - Serbian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you choose not to find joy in the snow, you will have less joy in your life but still the same amount of snow. --Rumi –Submitted by ag of ks ~~I needed that!
Week of the Week: International Flirting Week (2/10-16) –May I take your picture? I'm going to send it to Santa as the only thing on my wish list. / I'm sorry I wasn't part of your past, can I make it up by being in your future?
Second Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Love Is In The Air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air. --Sheldon Cooper --Submitted by ksz of ks
One morning Emma woke up with a start. Her husband Jim asked what was the matter, she told him, "I just had a dream that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," Jim said. That evening, Jim home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, Emma opened it - only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams”.
..........Just bask in the glory..........Chicago …..Plaid
^ “Drop” candy has been around a long time. It is made by dropping balls of the candy mixture onto a surface to set. They can be any shape. At some point someone added gelatin or pectin giving it the gummy texture. Before or after that, they gave it a standard, now iconic, shape. Some claim that person was Percy Trusdale in 1801; however, there is no evidence to support that.
Almanac: It is Friday, February 15, 2019. The moon will be full next Tuesday (1/19) and is currently in Cancer. It is Angelman Syndrome Day, Annoy Squidward Day (aka Your Boss), Love Reset Day, Lupercalia, National Gum Drop Day, National Hippo Day, No One Eats Alone Day, Remember The Maine Day, and Susan B. Anthony Day. Because it is the third Friday it is also National Caregivers Day and World Information Architecture Day.
Among those born on this day were Pedro Menendez de Aviles (1519), Alfonso Fontanelli (1557), Galileo Galilei (1564), Louis XXV (the Well-beloved, 1710), Abraham Clark (1726), Ernst Eichner (1740), Henry Engelhard Steinway (1797), John Augustus Sutter (1803), Charles Lewis Tiffany (1812), Susan Brownell Anthony (1820), Elihu Root (1845), Ian Ballantine (1916), Susan Brownmiller (1935), Matt Groening (1954), and Chris Farley (1964).
On February fifteenth Socrates was sentenced to death (399), the Peace of Angleur was sealed (Liége, Belgium, 1313), Germany declared war on France (1689), the Peace of Hubertusburg was signed (Prussia, 1763), the city of St Louis was founded (1764), mustard was first processed in the new world (1768), New Jersey became the last northern state to abolish slavery (1804), adhesive postage stamps appeared in the US (1842), Black abolitionists invaded a Boston courtroom and rescued a fugitive slave (1851), Congress authorized women lawyers to practice before the Supreme Court (1879), the teddy bear was introduced to America (1903), Hellman's Little Foxes premiered (1939), Disney's Cinderella was released (1950), the Pirartes & the KC A's cancelled a game in Birmingham, AL because a local ordinance barred blacks from playing against whites (1956), Tenley Albright won first at the first world figure skating championship (1896), the band Chicago formed (1967), and MLB owners locked out the players (1990).
Night Sky, 2/15: The Moon is in the feet of Gemini this evening. Castor and Pollux are to its left, Procyon is to its lower left, and Orion is to its lower right. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Hungry for knowledge, Max is crying because his mom won't let him lick the books.

This Week: Saturday, February 16 – World Whale Day & Kyoto Protocol Day
Sunday, February 17 – National PTA Founders Day & World Human Spirit Day
Night Sky, 2/17: Uranus is now 1.1° lower left of Mars right after dark. It's positioned less than halfway from Mars to Omicron Piscium, magnitude 4.2.
Monday, February 18 – Presidents Day & National Drink Wine Day & Pluto Day
Tuesday, February 19 – Best Friends Day & Travel Africa Day & Vet Girls Rock Day
Wednesday, February 20 – World Day for Social Justice & Love Your Pet Day
Night Sky, 2/20: The brightest star in the night sky will be partially occulted for up to 1.8 seconds when, for well-placed observers, the invisibly tiny asteroid 4388 Jurgenstock momentarily passes in front of it. See full observing details and plans from David Dunham, and use this zoomable Google Map to choose your setup site.
Thursday, February 21 – Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day & National Grain Free Day
Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine's day, he couldn't help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes. By now Mike's curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards. The man replied, "I'm sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asked Mike. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replied.
..........Does anybody really care.........Chicago …..Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is
^^ The board game Candy Land features Gumdrop Pass & Gumdrop Mountain.
Not Quite Funny Thing I Read of the Week: I screamed at God for the starving child until I saw the staving child was God screaming at me.
Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sign held by striking teacher in LA (12/15): Don't Make Me Use My Teacher Voice
Moonbeam: ALL men keep ALL women in a state of fear. --Susan Brownmiller
Late Night Snacks of the Week: Drumpf thinks bipartisanship is some sort of swingers' cruise. --Samantha Bee / Presidential harassment is a serious crisis that affects one out of every 320 millon people. --Trevor Noah / Trump's Tax Return: We’re finally going to find out what’s in them! Did Putin claim Drumpf as a dependent? Did Drumpf check the box where you donate $3 to a Russian oligarch? Did he list his status as ‘married’ or ‘Yeah, but I’m not dead’? --Stephen Colbert / Tax Refunds: They’re saying some of these refunds are so tiny that they even fit in Donald Drumpf’s hand. --Jimmy Kimmel ~~I have an app on my computer that automatically change Trump to Drumpf (the family name in Germany). When I copy off my screen it remain Drumpf. The app does not change stuff inside my word processor.
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: What the hell is happening in Virginia. It turns out the female members of Congress aren't the only group of Democrats that dress alike...before you vote you have to check under the hood. Peter Sagal Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me
Peace is freedom and kindness waiting to be used, Peace is helping someone who is confused.
Nymphomaniac: n. a woman as obsessed with sex as the average man. / I don't send Valentines to my single friends, I send Happy Independence Day cards instead.
..........I understood as it all came clear..........Chicago …..Oh Thank You Great Spirit
^^^ Brach's Candy holds the record largest gumdrop at 10 pounds aka 15,127 calories.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The Peace of Angleur annulled the political power of the partricate. Henceforth, membership in a craft was a necessary qualification for a seat in the magistracy. It cut both nobility and the poor from political power.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In the beginning there was nothing. Then God said, “Let there be light!” and there was still nothing, but you could see it. --submitted by ma of va
Weird Word of the Week: Umami – a theoretical fifth taste added to sweet, sour, bitter, & salty. It has been suggested that the taste is triggered by compounds of some amino acids, such as glutamates or aspartates, especially the flavour-enhancing substance monosodium glutamate. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-uma1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent grass clippings from clogging up a lawn mower. Spray WD-40 on the underside of lawn mower housing and blade before cutting the grass. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wd40.html
Son of Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: She's called the Reverse Cupid but I think she is his twin sister. She shoots arrows at people in abusive relationships to give them the power to leave. --Submitted by mgs of ks
I just saved a bunch of money on Valentine's Day by switching to single. / Lettuce is the most loving vegetable because it's all heart.
...........Many miles of memories..........Chicago …..Loser With A Broken Heart
^^^^ The NASA Apollo Command modules were nicknamed “Gumdrops” because of the conical shape.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Fundraising idea for schools: A cash bar at parent-teacher conference night.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: AnachroCon 2019 – The Time Traveler's Ball... (2/15-17, Atlanta) http://www.anachrocon.com/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: 5th International Conference on Information Management and Industrial Engineering (ICII 2019) Ei,Scopus (2/15-17, Cape Town) More Info
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck hiding behind his own hair in the case of the Hirsute Havana Silk.

Flopsy, our pet rabbit, sent out Valentines and signed them all Somebunny Loves You ! / Greta Grizzly sent a card to her main squeeze on Valentine's Day. She signed it, “I love you beary much”.
..........People laughing, people dancing..........Chicago …..Saturday In The Park
^^^^^ Gum Drop Martini: 1 part vanilla or whipped cream vodka + 2 parts lemon-lime or cream soda + 1/4 part flavored liqueur (or to taste) + Colored sugar for glass rims ... 1) Rim the glasses with sugar. 2) Mix the vanilla vodka and soda. Pour into the martini glasses, until they are about 2/3 full. 3) Pour a bit of the flavored liqueur into a glass so it is easy to access. 4) Insert a drinking straw into one of the liqueurs, and cover the top end with your finger. Insert a straw into one of the filled martini glasses, and take your finger off the top of the straw, while gently drawing the straw upwards. The liqueur will settle in the bottom of the glass.
Month of the Week: February is National Haiku Writing Month --I think haikus suck. Has to be five seven five. Who came up with this? / Five syllables here. Seven more syllables here. Are you happy now?
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: National Trust for Historic Preservation raises millions to Demolish Trump's Boyhood Home. --The Onion
Grammar Joke of the Week: Ancient Egyptian Grammar: Eye before flea, except after sea.
Today's Peace of History: Today's Peace of History, February, 2003, The world said NO to war... In the single largest day of protest in world history, millions on 6 continents demonstrated against the U.S./U.K. plans to invade Iraq. Reported totals included 1 to 2 million in London and Rome; 1.3 million in Barcelona, Spain (a city of 1.5 million); 500,000 each in Berlin, Paris, Madrid, and New York. Smaller demonstrations were held in over 600 cities and towns across the U.S., including tens of thousands in several cities, and 60,000-200,000 the following day in San Francisco.
Driving through Southern California, I stopped at a roadside stand that sold fruit, vegetables and crafts. As I went to pay, I noticed the young woman behind the counter was painting a sign. "Why the new sign?" I asked. "My boyfriend didn't approve of the old one," she said. When I glanced at what hung above the counter, I understood. It declared: "Local Honey Dates Nuts" —Contributed by Theodore Bologna
..........Mother Nature's sweet charm..........Chicago …..In The Country
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle February 15, 2019, Emotional ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Love, Laugh, Make Peace. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: We are unalterably opposed to the presentation of the female body being stripped, bound, raped, tortured, mutilated, and murdered in the name of commercial entertainment and free speech. --Susan Browmiller
Cost of War:
As of 2/14/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,898,513,591,998.
As of 2/7/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,896,539,185,415.
As of 2/14/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $879,174,351,460.
As of 2/7/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $877,832,515,997.
As of 2/14/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $654,904,001,279.
As of 2/7/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $653,218,080,859.
As of 2/14/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $304,478,425,396.
As of 2/7/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $304,095,031,218.
As of 2/14/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,737,072,192,113.
As of 2/7/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,731,685,589,741.
What we witnessed was real, now we all need time to heal. http://corlett.blogspot.com/2004/09/childrens-peace-quotes.html
..........'Cause you can't really say it's over when it never had begun..........Chicago …..Chasin' The Wind
Barney Bat fell in love with girlfriend, Bonnie Bat, because she was so much fun to hang around with. / Poor Porter Porcupine fell in love with a pin cushion.
Famous Last Words: But, you see, I have the other slipper. --Cinderella (Disney version)
May Peace be your love
And Joy be your valentine
prairie mama
christine


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Friday, February 8, 2019

Late ePistle aka Falsetto ePistle


Famous First Words: We, the deputies of the sovereign and independent States... Confederate States of America – Constitution for the Provisional Government
Happy Opera Day ! Handel shopped at Good Will because he was baroque as hell. / No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. --W H Auden
..........The day has begun........Backstreet Boys …..One In A Million
Peace is a family who loves and cares, Peace is smiles and smiles everywhere.
Sorry! It is an absurdly cold morning (now up to 13°F. That -11C) Because the streets have been icy, I tried to go to the store early. The car started right up (After having been in the shop lately for not starting right up) and I drove through the bank window and parked at the filling station to put gas in and it wouldn't start up again. It was 8 degrees at that time. I called Advance Auto Parts and they didn't have anyway to bring me a new one but suggested Jiffy Lube across the street. They sent a guy over to jump start me so I could drive over there and get a new battery. But it wouldn't even start up with a jump, so he took me inside jiffy lube and found a battery and put it on. I am still trying to lower my blood pressure and my anxiety level. Ommmmmmmmmm. What an opera plot. But the sun is bright off the dusting of snow on the ground and rooftops so that from the warmth of my desk chair with the taste of coffee on my tongue, maybe I will recover.
Hope your weekend hits the high notes, ePistliers.
The difference between an opera diva and a pit bull is jewelry. / Of all the noises known to man, opera is the most expensive. --Moliere
..........So have I lost my mind........Backstreet Boys …..That's The Way I Like It
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to The Company Mouse !!
^ Where was Walt Disney born and raised?
^^ Any idea where Disney started his art education?
^^^ What did Walt do during WWI?
^^^^ In what city did Disney open his first studio, Laugh-O-Grams?
^^^^^ More or less, what was the net worth of the Walt Disney Company in 2018?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: He was experimenting with splicing genetic material from rams into eggs of bees. With global warming, certain species of flowering plants flourish while others perish. The idea was to give bees the ability to digest leaves and grass to make honey and thereby reduce their need to be reliant on nectar and pollen from flowers. The first gene splicing was a disaster; the bee's digestive system became dysfunctional. The second attempt disrupted the honey production with lactose contaminant. The bee grew tiny horns in the third! He then tried DNA from a sheep and Eureka! Yes indeed. It worked because he made the Fourth Bee with Ewe.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 29% of libraries have a coded phrase used only to announce cake in the break room. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb? 6 – one to change the bulb and five to say, “It's too high for him”. / I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now. --Mark Twain
..........Something's just not right........Backstreet Boys …..No One Else Comes Close
Moonbeam: All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware. --Martin Buber
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Halò – Scottish Gaelic https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Alligator saw its shadow, 6 more weeks of Mardi Gras.
Week of the Week: Children's Authors & Illustrators Week (2/3-9) –Children's Books that didn't make it to print: The Littlest Pawn: A Custody Battle / Why You Are Up For Adoption / How Buddy-Wuddy Got Hepatitis B
Toscanini in one of his rages is reputed to have grabbed a soprano's amble bosom and yelled, “If only these were brains”. / Opera in English is about as sensible as a baseball in Italian. --H. L. Mencken
..........You don't play after dark........Backstreet Boys …..What Makes You Different
^ Born in Chicago, Walt Disney and his family moved to Kansas City when he was nine years old. They lived at 3028 Bellefontaine. Street View
Almanac: It is Friday, February 8, 2019. The moon will be first quarter next Tuesday (12th) and is in Aries. It is Boy Scout Anniversary Day (1910), Kite Flying Day, Laugh and Get Rich Day, Opera Day, and National Stop Bullying Day.
Among those born on this day were Robert Burton (1577), Samuel Butler (1612), John Ruskin (1819), Jules Verne (1828), Martin Buber (1878), Charles Ruggles (1886), Lana Turner (1920), Audrey Meadows (1924), Jack Lemmon (1925), James Dean (1931), Ted Koppel (1940), Robert Klein (1942), Jim Capaldi (1944), Ted Turner (1950), Mary Steenburgen (1953), and John Grisham (1955).
On February eigthth The University of Leiden opened (1575), William and Mary College was chartered (1693), Goethes' Stella premiered (1776), the CSA (Confederate States of America) were organized (1861), the first US Ski Club was founded (Aurora Ski Club of Red Wing MN, 1887), Birth of a Nation opened (1915), the Walt Disney Studios formed (1926), the first NFL draft took place (1935), Bartoks Third Concert for Piano premiered (1946), Bulganin replaced Malenkov as premier of the USSR (1955), the last edition of the Saturday Evening Post was published (1969), and Stan Lee created a Backstreet Boys comic book (2000).
Night Sky, 2/8: The waxing crescent Moon shines in the west-southwest at nightfall. Above it by about two fists at arm's length is Mars, diminished far into the distance since its grand display last summer. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max the navigator studying maps with Barney's cousin, Google.

This Week: Saturday, February 9 – National Pizza Day & Read in the Bathtub Day
Night Sky, 2/9: Under the feet of Orion hides Lepus the Hare. He's a crouching bunny, with his nose pointing lower right, his faint ears extending up toward Rigel (Orion's western foot), and his body bunched to the left.
Sunday, February 10 – Autism Sunday & World Marriage Day
Monday, February 11 – Be Electrific Day & International Day of Women and Girls in Science
Night Sky, 2/11: Sirius the Dog Star blazes high in the south-southeast after dinnertime, the brightest star of Canis Major. In a dark sky with lots of stars visible, the constellation's points can be connected to form a convincing dog profile. He's currently standing on his hind legs; Sirius is on his chest.
Tuesday, February 12 – Darwin Day & Extraterrestrial Culture Day & NAACP Day
Wednesday, February 13 – Galentine's Day & Get a Different Name Day
Thursday, February 14 – League of Women Voters Day & Library Lovers Day & St. Valentine's Day
Wagner's Ring Cycle debuted in August of 1876 and will wind up sometime next month. / In opera, there is always too much singing. --Claude Debussy
..........You never know if it's gonna last.........Backstreet Boys …..Rebel
^^ Walt attended Saturday courses at the KC Art Institute and also took a correspondence course in cartooning.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Can we all just mail legos to the White House so the child can build his wall. --Submitted by pl of hi
Moonbeam: The sea is only the embodiment of a supernatural and wonderful existence. --Jules Verne
Late Night Snacks: Of course Roger Stones loves the Godfather; he thinks he's Robert Duvall but he's actually the horse. --Samantha Bee / Remember, Drumpf brags that he only hires the best people, calls the Russian investigation a hoax, calls CNN fake news, and his government shutdown left FBI agents without pay. So it was especially ironic when one of Trump’s closest associates was arrested by unpaid FBI agents working for the special counsel on the Russia investigation, and the whole thing was caught on tape by CNN. The only way that could’ve been more humiliating for Trump, is if Robert Mueller celebrated by eating a Happy Meal at McDonald’s on a date with Stormy Daniels. --Seth Meyers / Howard Schultz: What’s a centrist independent? It’s the politically correct term for most obnoxious guy at the dinner party. --Stephen Colbert / The idea is to declare an emergency for his proposed border wall and then take money earmarked for real emergencies, like floods and hurricanes, and then use it for a wall that won’t do anything instead. Sometimes I’m amazed that he only bankrupted three casinos. --Jimmy Kimmel
Not So Late Night Snacks: This week, former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz appeared on every network, including NPR, to announce his third-party run for president in 2020. More people interviewed him on national TV about running for president than would ever vote for him for president. But, you know, his pitch makes sense. He'll run the country the same way he ran his company. For example, he'll build another White House directly across the street from the perfectly fine White House... --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me
Peace is like loving hearts that come together, peace is like a key to a world without war.
Opera is when a tenor and a soprano want to make love and are prevented from doing so by a baritone. --George Bernard Shaw / Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it. --George Burns
..........How did we get here.........Backstreet Boys …..Lost In Space
^^^ Disney attempted to join the United States Army to fight against the Germans, but he was rejected for being too young. After forging the date of birth on his birth certificate, he joined the Red Cross in September 1918 as an ambulance driver. He was shipped to France but arrived in November, after the armistice.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The first player ever drafted, (1935) Jay Berwanger, who had previously been awarded the initial Heisman Trophy, never played in the NFL. His rights were traded by the Philadelphia Eagles to the Chicago Bears, as the Eagles felt they would be unable to meet Berwanger's reported demand of $1000 per game.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you have the oil, we have the democracy.
Weird Word of the Week: Thrasonical – braggadocios ..dates from Terence's play Eunuchus (The Eunuch) 161 BCE. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-thr1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Thread electrical wire through conduits. Spray WD-40 on the electrical wire to help it glide through winding conduits. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wd40.html
My neighbors listen to a lot of opera, whether they want to or not. / Every theatre is an insane asylum, but an opera theatre is the ward for the incurables. --Franz Schalk
...........You're a genie in disguise.........Backstreet Boys …..Betcha By Golly Wow
^^^^ Laugh-O-gram Studio was a short-lived film studio located on the second floor of the McConahay Building at 1127 East 31st in Kansas City, Missouri.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How can the cemetery raise it's funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Farpoint Con (2/8-10, Baltimore, MD) Our focus is on Fandom and all who comprise it. http://www.farpointcon.com/who-we-are/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: Tennessee Rheumatology Society Meeting (2/8-9, Franklin, TN) ...to increase and propagate the understanding of rheumatic diseases among physicians engaged in the ongoing practice...
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck rooting for KU, apparently, in the super bowl in the case of the Mixed Up Miniboz.

The contralto with the extensive lower range was know as the Deep C Diva. / Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. --Robert Benchley
..........I got mixed emotions........Backstreet Boys ….Don't Go Breaking My Heart
^^^^^ In 2018, the Walt Disney Company held assets worth a total of over 98 billion US dollars.
Month of the Week: February is National Weddings Month --Did you hear about the two cell phones who got married? The reception was terrific. / Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a very emotional wedding. Even the cake is in tiers.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm going to retire and live off my savings. What I'll do the second day, I have no idea. --Submitted by ksz of ks
Grammar Joke of the Week: Never date an apostrophe; they're too possessive.
Today's Peace of History: February 8, 1964: Rep Martha Griffiths injected civil rights protection for women into the 1964 Civil Rights Act.
Opera Advice: Love big, sing loud, die long. / The opera is like a husband with a foreign title – expensive to support, hard to understand, and therefore a supreme social challenge. --Cleveland Amory
..........But we are two worlds apart.........Backstreet Boys …..I Want It That Way
Masthead of the Week: Friday February 8, 2019, Falsetto ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Grand opera, peace, and a few laughs. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. --Samuel Butler
Cost of War:
As of 2/7/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,896,539,185,415.
As of 1/31/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,894,554,985,139.
As of 2/7/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $877,832,515,997.
As of 1/31/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $876,483,899,079.
As of 2/7/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $653,218,080,859.
As of 1/31/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $651,522,525,622.
As of 2/7/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $304,095,031,218.
As of 1/31/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $303,709,646,578.
As of 2/7/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,731,685,589,741.
As of 1/31/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,726,271,643,354.
Peace is pure kindness and being nice, peace is friendliness and a sign of love. http://corlett.blogspot.com/2004/09/childrens-peace-quotes.html
..........No matter what you've gone through........Backstreet Boys …..Movin' On
Marriage is like singing opera, it looks easy until you try it. / Parsifal - the kind of opera that starts at 6 o'clock and after it has been going three hours, you look at your watch and it says 6:20. --David Randolph
Famous Last Words: ...fourth year of our reign --William and Mary College Royal Charter ...signed by Mary II, Queen of England
May Peace write your score
And Joy your libretto
prairie mama
christine


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