Friday, January 12, 2018

One Line ePistle

Famous First Words: The playing field will be rimmed by a solid white border... 2017 NFL Rulebook
Happy Birthday, Henry ! If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. / I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. --Henny Youngman
..........woo...hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo..........Tex Ritter …..Cattle Call
50 Ways to Promote Peace #47: Learn what the main causes of violence in your city are.
It is a frigid (7°F) Friday morning with a breeze that insists that we acknowledge polar conditions. The matte, pastel blue sky has only a little silver slipper of a moon to shield it from the cold winds. The lawn in covered with a thin layer of yesterday's frozen rain and snow and crunches under foot tries to hide the tufts of grass below. Puck is small and can walk silently over the surface. Even the sound of the wind around the corners of the house compete with motor noises to grace our ears. Puck covers only that part of the perimeter where squirrels might be waiting to scavenge under the feeders but they are still abed and so he is ready to return to the warm. I say a prayer for all those sleeping unsheltered and follow him inside. Here is smells of fresh coffee and the hummy furnace fan sends warmth flowing across the room. I hold a hot cup of decaf to warm my hands and allow the steam to warm my nose before indulging in the sweet, creamy, rich taste of morning. Ah, and now I get to write to you, a wonderful way to spend a winter morning.
Happy National Hot Tea Day, ePistliers, hope your weekend is hot and steamy.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays / When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. --Henny Youngman
..........With hopeful heart I waited for your knock on the door.........Ray Price …..Heartaches By the Number
Trivia Questions: The University of Russia turns 263 today !
^ Where the heck is the University of Russia anyway?
^^ What do they call it today?
^^^ Any idea whether it is the oldest university in Russia?
^^^^ About how many student attend, more or less?
^^^^^ Its library is one of the largest in Russia. Care to guess the number of volumes or the volume of use?
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Cleaning with dogs in your house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. --Submitted by sd of ks
Shameless Self Promotion of the Week: Jo and I will be talking about the Women's March 2018 – Lawrence Still Marching (January 20, South Park, 1 pm) on Every Woman (KKFI 90.1 fm). ...apparently for the whole hour, wow, until this moment I assumed were a part of the hour.
Creative Activism of the Week: Cover Lawrence with little pink hats. If you have a chance, buy a package of the 3x3 inch, pink postit notes. Cut a scoop out of the loose end. Post the note sticky side at the bottom and you have a lovely hat and room to write something on it. --Women's March 18 – Lawrence Still Marching
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: During the winter 18% of librarians go outside during their lunch break to warm up. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. --Henny Youngman
..........Tell it to the breeze blowing by.........Glenn Yarbrough & Limeliters …..Joy Across the Land
Moonbeam: Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little. --Edmund Burke
Something to Think About of the Week

Big Hello: Moghrey mie – Manx (Isle of Man) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Creative Solution of the Week: That sea of plastic in the sea that we keep seeing pictures of on fb, I have the solution. We gather it all up into a landmass (or plastic mass) tow it to the middle of the largest space between actual land in the Pacific and anchor it down. We can throw some topsoil over it and declare it White Country and all the white supremacists could move there and leave us alone. We could also use other trash in the ocean to make a great plastic reef all around it to keep the new trash in and then the rest of us could enjoy the rest ocean.
Week of the Week: Dating and Life Coaches Recognition Week (January 8-14) –Not only do I have a life coach, I have an assistance coach for offense.
If at first you don't succeed...so much for skydiving. / Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous. --Henny Youngman
..........Some come to dance, some come to play.........Glenn Yarbrough & Limeliters …..There's a Meetin' Here Tonight
^ RU is located in Moscow, Russia.
Almanac: It is Friday, January 12, 2018. The moon will be new next Monday and is in Sagittarius. It is Kiss A Ginger Day and National Hot Tea Day. In Tanzania it is Zanzibar Revolution Day.
Among those born on this day were Adrian van Utrecht (1599), Pierre de Fermat (1665), Edmund Burke (1729), John Hancock (1737), John Singer Sargent (1856), Jack London (1876), Hermann Goering (1893), Henny Youngman (1906), Tex Ritter (1906), Charles Martin (1910), Ray Price (1926), Glenn Yarborough (1930), Joe Frazier (1944), Bob McEwen (1950), and Rush Limbaugh (1951).
On January twelfth Hรคndel's Ottone premiered (1723), the university in Russia was established (1755), the Royal Astronomical Society was founded (1820), anthracite coal was first used to smelt iron (1839), x-rays were first used in the US (1896), the football rules committee legalized the forward pass (1906), the Dow Jones closed above 100 for the first time (1906), Hattie W Caraway was elected the first woman senator (D-AR, 1932), the National War Labor Board was created (1942), the first supermarket opened in the UK (1948), Authrur Godfrey and his Friends premiered on tv (1949), the University of Tennessee admitted its first black student (1952), the Southern Christian Leadership Conference was founded (1957), Hullabaloo premiered on tv (1965), Batman premiered on tv (1966), the Congressional Black Caucus was orgnaized (1971), Libya & Tunisia merged into the Islamic Arab Republic (1974), Idi Amin was expelled from Zaire (1989), and the OJ Simpson murder trail opened (1995).
Night Sky, 1/12: Sirius, the Dog Star, rises in the east-southeast around the end of twilight now, if you're near latitude 40° north (New York, Denver, Madrid, Athens). From such latitudes, Procyon — 2½ fists at arm's length to Sirius's left — precedes it up; "Procyon" is from the ancient Greek for "before the dog." but if you're as far south as San Diego, the Gulf Coast, Jacksonville, or Cairo, Egypt, they rise almost at the same time.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: RustyCon – January 12-14, Settle Airport Marriott. A science fiction and fantasy convention that spans writing, science, art, costuming, and gaming. https://www.facebook.com/rustycon/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: High School Science Teacher & Research Partners – January 12-13, San Diego, CA. https://murdocktrust.org/grant-opportunities/high-school-science-teachers-and-research-partners/

This Week: Saturday, January 13 – Eagle Day & Korean American Day & Public Radio Day
Night Sky, 1/13: In early dawn of Saturday the 13th, the waning crescent Moon hangs far to the lower left of Jupiter and Mars and upper left of Antares. Far lower left of the Moon, near the southeast horizon, use binoculars to help find Mercury and Saturn as dawn brightens. They're still roughly 1° apart, Mercury is below Saturn. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Sunday, January 14 – International Kite Day & No Pants Subway Ride Day & National Sunday Supper Day
Monday, January 15 – Martin Luther King Day & Humanitarian Day & National Crowd Feed Day
Night Sky, 1/15: After dinnertime at this coldest time of the year (on average, for many places), the dim Little Dipper hangs straight down from Polaris, the end of its long handle — as if from a nail on the cold north wall of the sky. In warm June, by contrast, the Little Dipper's bowl floats up from Polaris, like a helium balloon escaped from a summer party, trailing its string.
Tuesday, January 16 – Appreciate a Dragon Day & Nothing Day
Wednesday, January 17 – International Mentoring Day & Kid Inventors' Day & Popeye Day
Thursday, January 18 – Pooh (Winnie the) Day & Thesaurus Day
A doctor gave a man 6 months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another 6 months. / You look like a talent scout for a cemetery. --Henny Youngman
..........I do not love for silver.........Glenn Yarbrough & Limeliters …..Baby, the Rain Must Fall
^^ The university was renamed in 1940 after the founder, Lomonosov, Moscow State University (MSU).
Next Funniest thing I read of the Week: No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says; he is always convinced that it says when he means. --George Bernard Shaw
Moonbeam: Never judge someone by their relatives. --Charles Martin
Late Night Snacks: “Bannon has caught holy hell from his own supporters. In the last 24 hours alone, candidates he has endorsed have abandoned him; he lost his biggest billionaire donor; even the alt-right is turning its back on Steve Bannon. It’s true, they’re so embarrassed of Bannon that a lot of the alt-right have started covering their faces with hoods!” --Stephen Colbert / “I will say this: If you believe that he didn’t want to win, then it’s hard to believe that he colluded with the Russians, right? If anything, instead of trying to shut this book down, Trump should be sending a copy to Robert Mueller to be like, ‘You see? It exonerates me!’ ‘The part where it says you’re an idiot?’ ‘No, no, go on further!’” --Trevor Noah / Tickets for the game last night were at a minimum of $2,000. But, as part of that price you got to see President Trump try to sing our national anthem. It appears he might not know all the words to his anthem he talks about so much. Yeah, no way he wins “Lip-Sync Battle” with a performance like that. The only part of the song he remembers is "red glare," because that's also the shade of the fake tanner he uses. --Jimmy Kimmel / In Trump's defense, it's hard to sing a song while you're also trying to compose tweets in your head. --James Corden / Congratulations to Alabama, who overcame a 13-point deficit to win the College Football National Championship! Man, I'm just happy to say the words "Alabama" and "13" and not be talking about Roy Moore. --Jimmy Fallon / Former White House press secretary Sean Spicer said yesterday that Oprah Winfrey does not have enough political experience to run for president. I don't know what he said next, but it had to be "Why is everybody laughing?" --Seth Meyers
50 Ways to Promote Peace #46: Be patient in all aspects of life.
I've been in love with the same woman for 43 years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. / Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. --Henny Youngman
..........Runnin' into trouble just to pass away the time.........Glenn Yarbrough & Limeliters …..The Bull Frog Son
^^^ Saint Petersburg State University and Moscow State University engage in friendly rivalry over the title of Russia's oldest university. Though Moscow State University was founded in 1755, its competitor in St. Petersburg has had a continuous existence as a "university" since 1819 and sees itself as the successor of an academy established on January 24, 1724, by a decree of Peter the Great.
Worthless Facts of the Week: The National War Labor Board (NWLB) was appointed by Wilson to mediate labor disputes during WWI. It was disbanded in 1919, 6 ½ months after the war ended.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: AG Jeff Sessions is cracking down on marijuana because the number of fatalities caused by consuming cannabis is now equal to the number of people who have been gored to death by unicorns.
Weird Word of the Week: Rozzer – mildly deprecatory term for the police. (UK) It’s crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide.” http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-roz1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Store tinder. Store dry fire tinder inside a Trojan Condom to protest it from wet or rainy weather conditions. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/trojan.html
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by 4 o'clock. / You have a nice personality, but not for a human being. --Henny Youngman
...........Mothers with their babes asleep, are rockin' to the gentle beat.........Glenn Yarbrough & Limeliters …..City of New Orleans
^^^^ Currently the university employs more than 4,000 academics and 15,000 support staff. Approximately 5,000 scholars work at the university's research institutes and related facilities. More than 40,000 undergraduates and 7,000 advanced degree candidates are enrolled. More than 5,000 specialists participate in refresher courses for career enhancement. Annually, the university hosts approximately 2,000 students, graduate students, and researchers from around the world.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Savagery – being fierce or cruel. King John, Act IV, Scene III –Salisbury: ...this is the bloodiest shame, the wildest savagery, the vilest stroke...
Most Beautiful Thing in the State: Crystal King Cavern in West Liberty, Ohio. Ohio's largest and most beautiful cavern. https://www.tripadvisor.com/LocationPhotoDirectLink-g51127-d1422439-i60606199-Ohio_Caverns-West_Liberty_Ohio.html
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck keeping an eye on the lion tamer in the case of the Circus Cierny.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. / This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number. --Henny Youngman
..........One last bridge and one less load.........Glenn Yarbrough & Limeliters …..One More River
^^^^^ The university's main library's estimates that it contains approximately 9,000,000 volumes. The library serves around 55,000 readers per year, using approximately 5,500,000 books.
Month of the Week: January is National Braille Literacy Month –Here's a website that will show you what your name looks like in Braille. I understand the irony of what Braille looks like, if you don't have a machine that can raise little dots, it's all you've got. http://braillebug.afb.org/thenamegame.asp
Today's Peace of History, January 12, 1957: The Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) was founded by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and other African-American clergymen who wanted to press for civil rights long denied members of their community. Sixty black ministers from ten states went to Atlanta, Georgia, to set up the coordinating group.
Today's Peace of Labor History, January 12, 1962: Federal workers were guaranteed the the right to join unions and bargain collectively after President John F. Kennedy signed Executive Order 10988.

Today's Peace of Women's History, January 12, 1932: Hattie Wyatt Caraway (D-Arkansas) became the first woman elected to the US Senate, eventaully she would become the first woman to chair a Senate Committee and the first to serve as the Senate’s presiding officer.
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student. / Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to. --Henny Youngman
..........Now blue ain't the word for the way that I feel.........Ray Price …..Crazy Arms
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle, One Liner ePistle, January, 12, 2018. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Generic Tag Line. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've decided my 2018 will start February 1st, January is a free trial month.
Moonbeam: Education is dangerous – every educated person is a future enemy. --Hermann Goering
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 1/12/17: $794,899,383,515.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 1/4/17: $794,208,159,495.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 1/12/17: $821,163,980,057.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 1/4/17: $821,143,778,937.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 1/12/17: $1,809,820,768,461.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 1/4/17: $1,808,377,223,432.
50 Ways to Promote Peace #45: Host art/poetry events with the theme of peace. http://uncustomary.org/50-ways-promote-peace/
..........If a tree don't fall on me, I'll live till I die.........Tex Ritter …..Rye Whiskey ~~For our mother
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas. / The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip. --Henny Youngman
Famous Last Words: Same Bat channel. --Batman Television Series.
May Peace flavor your cup
And Joy sweeten your tea
prairie mama
christine



Last Laugh
 

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