gArrison's ePistle

Famous First Words: An Act authorizing the Manumission of Negroes... Rhode Island 1774

Mr Phelps, Dr. Wynsczkrepskyvich will see you now. Which doctor? No, she's an MD like all the others. Ξ The good thing about a doctor with Alzheimers is he can give you his own second opinions.

The first Friday the Thirteenth of every year is Blame Someone Else Day! Don't blame anyone else for the road you're on. That's your asphalt.

The world says fall in love, but the universe says rise in love. --Matshona Dhliwayo

..........Manhattan babies don't sleep tight.........Wini Shaw …..Lullaby of Broadway (Warren & Dubin) Gold Diggers 1935

In our country, patriotism should not be defined as obedience to an authority. --Daniel Ellsberg

It is Friday in Kansas and the skies are cloudy and gray. I've not yet heard a discouraging word, but then I've only dealt with a dog and a cat neither of whom speak much. The 68°F temperature is pleasant and the fact that there is little wind keeps the trees and flowers still and the bird song crisp. Colors are sharp and varied – always lots of shades of green, of course, also pink, red, deep red, and yellow hollyhocks, the red flyer wagon in the neighbor yard, red roses, all the lovely colors. Spring has gotten old and slow and is rolling over into summer gracefully. It's a lovely time of year. Puck and Veronica have both been out and come back in. Puck is sleeping under my desk and therefore under my feet. Veronica has disappeared into the quiet house. I just doctored up my coffee and sat down to write to you. What a lovely morning, hope yours is the same.

Hope your weekend is filled with fun and games, loyal laughers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Hippies: the only generation whose kids listen to the same music. https://www.facebook.com/groups/186284086737022/

A man called 911 and said, “I found a suitcase with a cat and four kittens in it, in the forest.” The operator said, “That's terrible.. Are they moving?” the man said, “I didn't ask but that would explain the suitcase”. Ξ What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

A man stands in line at the ATM in Moscow. After an hour he loses patience and yells, “Putin is to blame. I'm going to the Kremlin and kill him.” 30 minutes later he's back at the ATM. “Why are you here again?” someone asks. :The line in front of the Kremlin is twice as long as this one.”

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. --Mother Teresa

..........At least I”m gonna say that I tried.........Esther Williams & Richardo Montabán AND Betty Garrett & Red Skelton …..Baby, It's Cold Outside (Frank Loesser) Neptune's Daughter 1949

Trivia Questions: It's Outdoor Marketing Day

1. How many farmers' markets do you figure presently operate in the US?

2. Where and/or when was the first farmers' market created?

3. What president used to shop his local Georgetown market (1806) stocking up on beef, eggs, and fresh vegetables?

4. How much SNAP (food stamps) money was spent in farmers' markets in 2017?

5. Who is the current Secretary of Agriculture?

Big Hello: Hi ho – Shawnee https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Due to cuts made by the Groper Cleveland administration, future weather forecasts will rely on joint pain.

Image of the Week: Northern lights seen north of Lawrence in June 2025 

Insult of the Week: The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. --William Shakespeare Coriolanus

He was so ugly when he went to the zoo he needed two tickets – one to get in and another to get out. Ξ The only time incorrectly isn't spelled incorrectly is when it's spelled incorrectly.

I blame my roommate's cooking for my weight gain. Ever since he started cooking I've been eating out more.

If I could choose to have one superpower, I would want to be able to make everyone love everyone. --Betsey Johnson

..........When the party's getting a glow on.........Bing Crosby …..In The Cool Cool Cool Of The Evening (Hoagy Carmichael and Johnny Mercer) Here Comes The Groom 1951

Moonbeam: If what I say resonates with you, it's merely because we are branches of the same tree. --William Butler Yeats

Blasphemy of the Week: Does it count if you glare at the object of your prayer request when you say, “Unspoken”? --Submitted by High Church Coyote

Coffee Joke of the Week: Can I call you back in a few cups of coffee?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My house isn't messy. It's custom-decorated by a toddler with a strong artistic vision. --Submitted by gm of

Why is it called the Miss Universe pageant when all the participants are from Earth? Ξ The lifeguard wasn't able to save the hippie because she was too far out.

Gaslighting: blaming someone else for your fart.

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is LOVE. --Sophocles

..........Never ending or beginning on an ever-spinning reel..........Noel Harrison …..The Windmills Of Your Mind (Michel Legrand and Alan & Marilyn Bergman) The Thomas Crown Affair 1968

1) There are 11,934 farmers' markets in the US as of June 2025. That's a very specific number. You can buy a list of all 11,934 but they give you a sample at: https://www.poidata.io/report/farmers-market/united-states

Almanac: It is Friday, June 13. 2025. The moon was full (Strawberry) last Wednesday (6/11) and is in Capricorn. Today is Golf Cart Day, National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day, Outdoor Marketing Day, Random Acts of Light Day, and Roller Coaster Day. Because it is the second Friday it is also National Movie Day and Wear Blue for Men's Health. Finally, because it is the first Friday the 13th of the year it is Blame Someone Else Day.

Among those born on this day were Charles II (the Bald, (823), William Butler Yeats (1865), Basil Rathbone (1892), Dorothy L. Sayers (1893), Red Grange (1903), Ralph Edwards (1913), Paul Lynde (1926), Ally Sheedy (1962), and Ashley & Mary Kate Olsen (1986).

On June thirteenth Rhode Island prohibited the importing of slaves (1774), Lafayette landed in the US (1777), Lindbergh was greeted with a ticker-tape parade (NYC, 1927), Paris was evacuated (1940), and the NY Times began publishing "The Pentagon Papers" (1971).

Night Sky, 6/13: Mercury climbs higher in the evening sky. At a magnitude -0.8 it stands 20' from the star, Mebstua. Binoculars give a fine view of the star nestled next to the planet. Look 45 minutes after sunset, high in the west. https://www.astronomy.com/observing/sky-this-month-june-2025/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: New banana phones

This Week: Saturday, June 14 – Flag Day & National Cereal Day & World Blood Donor Day

Sunday, June 15 – Father's Day & Global Wind Day & Nature Photography Day & National Lobster Day

Monday, June 16 – Bloomsday & National Cracker Jack Day & Fudge Day & World Sea Turtle Day

Night Sky, 6/16: Regulus, brightest star, stands due north of Mars. Lovely color contrasts the orange glow of Mars and the bluish-white hue of Regulus.

Tuesday, June 17 – LGBTQIA+ Equal Pay Awareness Day & World Crocodile Day

Wednesday, June 18 – Autistic Pride Day & National Splurge Day & Wanna Get Away Day

Night Sky, 6/18: The moon enters its last quarter and is in Pisces.

Thursday, June 19 – Juneteenth & World Sickle Cell Awareness Day & World Tapas Day

Ximbu, an African king has 3 wives. HIs first, Zema, lives in a block hut covered in zebra skins and she bore him a son. The second wife, Kana, lives in a box hut covered with wildebeest skins. She also bore him a son. His third wife lives in a cube hut covered in hippo skin; she bore him twin sons. That means that the square of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squares of the other two hides.

I hate it when people blame video games for mass shootings. No one has ever shot up a school with a copy of Doom.

This is what my soul is telling me, be peaceful and love everyone. --Malala Yousafzai

..........Misty water colored memories...........Barbra Streisand …..The Way We Were (Marvin Hamlisch and Alan & Marilyn Bergman) The Way We Were 1973

2) the first official farmers' market was established in Boston in 1634. Several other sources claim that in 1730 city officials of Lancaster, PA dedicated a 120 sq ft lot in the center of town to be used as a public market. They claim this is the first one.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force. --Dorothy L Sayers

Fun Fact of the Week: Charles the Bald (aka the Second): It has been suggested that Charles's nickname was used ironically and not descriptively; he was not in fact bald but rather was extremely hairy. An alternative or additional interpretation is based on Charles's initial lack of a regnum. "Bald" would in this case be a tongue-in-cheek reference to his landlessness at an age at which his brothers already had been sub-kings for some years.

Video of the Week: In Honor of Random Acts of Light Day – A drone light display (3:00) https://youtu.be/LpaSXwpKzGk

It is the courage at last to face honestly the truth and reality of what we are doing in the world and act responsibly to change it. --Daniel Ellsberg

Love is the crowning grace of humanity. --Petrarch

According to Simon and Garfunkel, we should blame Rosie for COVID-19. She was the queen of Corona.

The other day I went to the hospital and sang for the patients. I sang some folk music and some Broadways tunes, and ended with some classic rock. Then I took a bow, threw a kiss, and said, “Thank you so much. I hope you all get better real soon.” And everyone of them said, “Hope you get better too.” Ξ My 4 year old asked me if the hippie's wife was called Mississippi.

..........No summer high, no warm July..........Stevie Wonder …..I Just Called To Say I Love You (Stevie Wonder) The Woman In Red 1984

3) Thomas Jefferson shopped at the Georgetown Market.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I told the fairies what you did so good luck with your next stroll through the forest.

Weird Word of the Week: Lethologica – the phenomenon of experiencing the temporary inability to recall a specific word or phrase from your memory, even though you know the word and describe its meaning. https://www.dictionary.com/e/tip-of-the-tongue/

Dragon of the Week: The Halstead Dragons – Halstead High School – Halstead, Kansas --Submitted by jb of ks 

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean hair brushes and combs. Add a capful of Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo to warm water. Shampoo cuts through sebum oil, leaving your brushes clean and fresh. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other. --Audrey Hepburn

Until a drag queen walks into a school and beats eight kids to death with a copy of To Kill A Mockingbird, I think you're focusing on the wrong shit. --Wanda Sykes

When tectonic plates bump into one another do they say, “Sorry, my fault”? Ξ I understand that ghosts only eat health food because it's supernatural.

...........Once more, you open the door...........Céline Dion …..My Heart Will Go On (James Horner Will Jennings) Titanic 1997

4) According to the USDA, $22,440,312 of SNAP funds were used at local outdoor markets in 2017.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I wonder how many vampires have been run over by people who backup using just their mirrors.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Sci-Fi Valley Con (13-15, Altoona, PA) ...The Twilight Saga Reunion... https://www.scifivalleycon.com/

Spark of Joy of the Week: The women of LCPJ have long discussed the need to teach children about peace. There are several excellent children's books about peace. If you're interested in my list, let me know and I'll share it. But I wanted a lullaby about peace, I wanted infants to absorb images of peace pre-verbal. So I wrote a poem and Malika Lyon wonderfully wrote music for Let Peace Be Part of You aka The Peace Lullaby. Here is that song. It is sung by Malika. It's 2:47 long.

Be a lover. Give love. Choose love. Love everyone, always. --Harry Styles

I have a friend who can't seem to get her life together. I blame it on her citric acid allergy. Every time life hands her lemons, she goes into anaphylactic shock.

A man with magical pee should be called a wizard. Ξ How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan? Take away its tiny broom.

..........wouldn't have nothing..........Billy Crystal & John Goodman …..If I Didn't Have You (Randy Newman) Monster's Inc 2000

5) The current Secretary of Agriculture is Brooke Rollins. She is an attorney who served as deputy general counsel, ethics advisor, and policy director to Rick Perry, governor of Texas.

Protest Sign of the Week: If I Wanted Government In My Womb, I'd F*ck A Senator

Better Protest Sign of the Week: The Road To Hell Is Paved With Republicans

Quote of the Week: All tyrannies rule through fraud and force, but once the fraud is exposed they must rely exclusively on force. --George Orwell

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Isn't a straight pride parade just … traffic? https://www.facebook.com/ourbodilyautonomy

Today's Peace of History: June 13, 1967: Thurgood Marshall was nominated for justice of the Supreme Court by President Lyndon Johnson. Marshall was then Solicitor General of the United States, and had been the lead attorney in the Brown v. Board of Education case that ended legal segregation in the schools. He would be the first African American on the Court.

It's really pretty simple: love everyone. Judge noone. --Diane Ranker Riesen

A book fell on my head today. I only have my shelf to blame.

It's easy to split Rome in half with a pair of Caesars. Ξ Mount Rushmore is a rock group that doesn't sing.

..........It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small..........Idina Menzel …..Let It Go (Kirsten Anderson-Lopez & Robert Lopez) Frozen 2013

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, June 13, 2025. gArrison's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable. --Paul Lynde

Cost of War:

As of 06/12/25 State Department Costs: $267,297,244,963

As of 06/05/25 State Department Costs: $266,743,133,437

As of 06/12/25 Homeland Security: $1,202,047,046,907

As of 06/05/25 Homeland Security: $1,201,445,183,946

As of 06/12/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,305,692,563,280

As of 06/05/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,304,144,846,230

As of 06/12/25 Military Costs: $3,151,044,439,245

As of 06/05/25 Military Costs: $3,149,869,307,739

As of 06/12/25 Veterans Care: $4,322,745,069,859

As of 06/05/25 Veterans Care: $4,311,012,989,874

As of 06/12/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,248,827,164.210

As of 06/05/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,233,217,142,149

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

You needn't think there is nothing you can do – you can tell the truth. --Daniel Ellsberg

Famous Last Words: Thanks for watching. --Tim Russet who died 6/13/2008

..........Something I'm not but something I can be..........Billie Eilish …..What Was I Made For ((Billie Eilish & Finneas O'Connell) Barbie 2022 ~~In honor of Movie Day all of today's songs are Oscar winners. The people in (_) wrote the song .

If I succeed in loving you, I will be able to love everyone and all species on Earth. This is the real message of love. --Nhat Hanh

Did you hear about the man who blamed arithmetic for his divorce? His wife put two and two together.

How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four: one to change it and three to complain that it's electric. Ξ How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Five: two to write the specifications, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late. ~~Today's jokes are from Prairie Home Companion 2014.

May Peace fill your nights

And Joy swell your days

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Last Laugh  

eClectic ePistle

Famous First Words: It was a bright cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen... George Orwell 1984

1984 (the book) is 76 years old today. Did Orwell have a crystal ball? Just replace Google for the Ministry of Plenty, replace Facebook for the Ministry of Truth, and replace Twitter for the mInistry of Love, and Orwell was spot on. $$ So is George Orwell the father of Big Brother?

We can all sleep easy at night knowing that somewhere at any given time, the Foo Fighters are out there fighting Foo. --David Letterman

Love all beings as you would love yourself; for we are all connected. --Mother Ann Lee

..........Gonna have some fun.........Jan & Dean …..Surf City ~~June is international Surf Music Month

I greatly fear some of America's greatest and most dangerous enemies are such as think themselves her best friends. --Nathan Hale

It is/was a dark Friday morning. I got up just before seven but the electricity didn't wake up until 8:40 am. So, sitting in my recliner waiting for the lights to come on reminded me of Terry Pratchett's book Thud which describes in some detail the Endarkening. Endarkening is the dwarf equivalent of enlightening. The dwarves live underground and their spiritual experiences come in the dark. Seems like our country is going through its own endarkening. Perhaps some day the history books will call the USA's early 21^st century the Great Endarkenment...9/11, School Shootings, the Pandemic, the Russian Orange Agent. The electricity is back up, I'm drinking coffee...and writing to you. It may turn out to be a good day afterall.

Have an absolutely fabulous weekend, light seekers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Instead of asking “How are you?” we should start conversations with “So what's been haunting you this week? --Submitted by INRITH

June is Great Outdoors Month. I love going out doors. It's so much safer than going out windows. ₸ Remember to leave no trace while camping and hiking. If bigfoot can do it, so can you.

Internal strife is tearing the Republican Party apart at the seams. It's like a new Civil War, only this time neither side is trying to help black people. --Stephen Colbert

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. --Mother Teresa

..........Got a brand new board and I'm ready to fly.........Trashmen …..King Of The Surf

Trivia Questions: Happy Drive-In Movie Night

1. Do you know where the first drive-in theater opened?

2. What is the most popular name for currently operating drive-in theaters?

3. Which state has the most drive-in theaters?

4. What is the country's largest drive-in; or where it is?

5. How many drive-in theaters are left out there?

Big Hello: Lumela – Sesotho (Lesotho, Botswana, South Africa, Namibia,and Zambia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm not delicate like a flower. I'm more delicate like a hand grenade.

Image of the Week: These are people climbing Everest. Doesn't seem like that great an achievement any more. Happy Great Outdoors Month

Insult of the Week: Money-makers are tiresome company, as they have no standard but cash value. --Plato The Republic

You can tell the tourists from the hikers by how clean their shoes are. ₸ I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. It's a trail mix.

Do we really need a march to raise awareness about global climate change? I mean, it's an accepted scientific phenomenon pretty much everywhere ...except this one place called the United States House of Representatives Committee on Science, Space, and Technology. --Jon Stewart

Radiate boundless love towards the entire world. --Buddha

..........The sea is foaming like a bottle of beer.........Weezer …..Surf Wax America

Moonbeam: War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace. --Thomas Mann

Blasphemy of the Week: Blasphemy is a word I seldom use, but I just saw Malvina Reynold's song “Little Boxes” used in a Volkswagen commercial. --Submitted by sb of ar

Coffee Joke of the Week: There are two kinds of people, coffee people and sad people.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips. --Submitted by sd of ks

This week is National Business Etiquette Week (1-7) Why can't I wear pajamas at work. Everybody else does. They're the patients. $ A clean desk is a sign of a messy drawer.

Julian Assange is not a likable man. Even Benedict Cumberbatch could not make him likeable. He's un-Cumberbatchable! That was supposed to be physically impossible. --John Oliver

Where there is Love and Wisdom, there is neither Fear nor Ignorance. --St. Francis

..........Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..........Surfairs …..Wipe Out

1. 1) The first drive-in theater opened in Camden, NJ in June of 1933. The second drive-in didn't open until 1934 in Orefield. PA.

Almanac: It is Friday, June 6, 2025. The moon entered the first quarter on Tuesday (6/3) and is in Libra. Today is Atheists Pride Day, Creative Educators International Day, D-Day, Drive-In Movie Day, National Eyewear Day. National Gun Violence Awareness Day, National Higher Education Day, Russian Language Day, World Pest Day, YMCA Day, and Yo-Yo Day.

Among those born on this day were Diego Velzquez (1599), Nathan Hale (1755), Aleksandr Sergeyevich (1799), Thomas Mann (1875), Walter Percy Chrysler (1875), Dorothy Heyward (1890), Sukarno (1901), Dalai Lama (1935), Gary "US" Bonds (1939), Harvey Fierstein (1954), and Dana Carvey (1955).

On June sixth the electric iron was patented (1882), the US Polo Association was formed (1890), the Chrysler Corporation was founded (1925), and the Securities and Exchange Commission was established (1934).

Night Sky, 6/6: After dark, Vega is the brightest star high in the east. Barely lower left of it is 4th-magnitude Epsilon Lyrae, the Double-Double. Epsilon forms one corner of a roughly equilateral triangle with Vega and Zeta Lyrae. The triangle is less than 2° on a side, hardly the width of your thumb at arm's length. Binoculars easily resolve Epsilon. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Epitome of Summer

This Week: Saturday, June 7 – Drawing Day aka Pencil Day & National Prairie Day & Turtle Races Day

Sunday, June 8 – Race Unity Day & Upsy Daisy Day & Ghostbusters Day & World Oceans Day

Night Sky, 6/8: The nearly full Moon shines well to the upper right of Antares this evening. As night advances, the scene moves higher and tips leftward toward the south

Monday, June 9 – International Celtic Art Day & Toy Industry Day & International Archives Day

Tuesday, June 10 – AA Founders Day & Ball Point Pen Day & Bartender Day & Iced Tea Day & World Pet Memorial Day

Wednesday, June 11 – Corn on the Cob Day & National Making Life Beautiful Day

Night Sky, 6/11): June's full moon will reach peak illumination at 3:44 pm (EDT) Traditionally it is called the Strawberry Moon.

Thursday, June 12 – Loving Day & Mechanics Day & Crowded Nest Awareness Day

1984 Reboot: Ministry of Truth (Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present, controls the past.) - Fox News (The election was stolen.) $$ Ministry of Plenty (Spending is Saving) - a magic marker and a weather map.

$60,000 was stolen from a Whole Foods in New York. Luckily, Whole Foods will make all that money back the next time someone buys an apple. --Jimmy Fallon

Without love, deeds, even the most brilliant, count as nothing. --St Therese of Lisieux

..........There was sand and sun and lots of fun.........The Beach Boys …..Wipe Out

2) The most popular name for drive-ins is “Starlite or Starlight” Drive-In. There are 10 theaters named this. Runners up are Sky View (Skyvu, Skyview ...)

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully I was already at work. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: Don't ever forget the history. It will make and change who we are. --Sukarno

Fun Fact of the Week: Even you can become a lifetime member of the United States Polo Association for $2,500. Among the member benefits are: accident & liability insurance, discounts on clothes, and equine discounts for horse products. https://www.uspolo.org/association/membership

Audio of the Week: Gary US Bonds : This Little Girl https://youtu.be/viSAqfk8G0U

It is the duty of every good officer to obey any orders given him by his commander-in-chief. --Nathan Hale

In a state of love, no matter what you do, it's going to be good. --Paramahansa Yogananda

Sunflowers – solar flower power

1984 reboot: Ministry of Peace (War is Peace) – Pete Hegseth, Department of Defense - drunk leaking war plan over unsecured internet “Peace through strength works; but the flip side is war through weakness.” $$ Ministry of Love aka The Thought Police (responsible for misery, fear, suffering, and torture. - The Republicans in the House, the Republicans in the Senate, Secretary of Health & Human Services, Kenndey, and Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

..........he's got a green surfboard and a woody to match.........Surfaris …..Surfer Joe

3) Currently New York has the most operating drive-ins of any state with 28. This is surprising because they are necessarily seasonal. Pennsylvania has 27, Ohio has 24, and Indiana has 19.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: As we head into June and the weather starts to get sticky and humid, please remember to check in on your friends with naturally curly hair. We are not ok. We are out here looking like alpacas. https://www.facebook.com/churchmouseuk

Weird Word of the Week: Ignivomous – mountain vomiting fire aka volcano https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-ign1.html

Dragon of the Week: This picture had no location information

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Wash your car. Add two capfuls of Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo to a bucket of water and soap up your car with the biodegradable suds. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

It is love alone that gives life to all things. --St Teresa of Avila

A study found that hand dryers in bathrooms spread more germs than paper towels. And the maker of hand dryers said, “But don't forget, we also don't dry your hands.” --Jimmy Fallon

The trouble with being on time for business meetings is that there's no one there to appreciate it. $ The closest people come to perfection is on an employment application.

...........We could ride the surf together.........The Beach Boys …..Surfer Girl

4) The largest operating drive-in in the US is the Ford Wyoming Drive-In in Dearborn, MI. It can hold around 3,000 cars. They are open year round by offering in-car heaters.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Not sure if retailers know this, but there is a whole demographic of women who still want the bottom half of the shirt. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Cryptids and Paranormal Conference 2025 (7^th, Farmingdale, NJ) Convention with Horror and Sci-Fi programming. https://fancons.ca/events/info/25411/cryptids-and-paranormal-conference-2025

Spark of Joy of the Week: This year's hollyhocks are in bloom: Red, pink, and yellow

As you dissolve into love, your ego fades. You're not thinking about loving; you're just being love, radiating like the sun. --Ram Dass

At a theme park in California a man was arrested because he hopped a fence and entered an animal exhibit, and punched a camel in the face. When asked why, the man just glared at the camel and said, “He knows why”. --Conan O'Brien

Camping in the wilderness is great until you hear a twig snap. ₸ What do you do in your spare time? I stalk. Really, I hike a lot and swim in unpolluted lakes. I know.

..........Say, I'll see 'em in the fall.........Jan & Dean …..Tell 'Em I'm Surfin'

5) Back in the 1950s there were over 4,000 drive-ins in the US. Currently, there are about 330 still operating.

Protest Sign of the Week: Tariffied

Quote of the Week: Because the world is full of death and horror, I try again and again to console my heart and pick the flowers that grow in the midst of hell. --Hermann Hesse --Submitted by WWRWM

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's OK to talk to yourself. It's also OK to answer yourself. But, it's sad when you have to repeat what you said because you weren't listening!!

Today's Peace of History: June 6, 1971: 40 members of the American Indian Movement camped in the sacred Black Hills, or Paha Sapa, atop Mount Rushmore; 20 were arrested. They were demanding the U.S. honor the terms of the 1868 treaty with the Sioux Nation granting them the Black Hills territory.

Music is the expression of harmony in sound. Love is the expression of harmony in life. --Stephen Gaskin

A new poll has found that a majority of Americans believe the government is spying on them. “No, we're not” said your microwave. --Seth Meyers

While hiking be wary of trees; they're always shady. ₸ Trees never need therapy because they are well grounded. ₸ We're gonna hike around this lake come hill or high water.

..........Nothing sweeter than this.........Lesley Gore …..California Nights

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, June 6, 2025, eClectic ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level. --Dana Carvey

Cost of War:

As of 06/05/25 State Department Costs: $266,743,133,437

As of 05/29/25 State Department Costs: $266,199,158,547

As of 06/05/25 Homeland Security: $1,201,445,183,946

As of 05/29/25 Homeland Security: $1,200,854,327,358

As of 06/05/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,304,144,846,230

As of 05/29/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,302,625,557,615

As of 06/05/25 Military Costs: $3,149,869,307,739

As of 05/29/25 Military Costs: $3,148,715,787,186

As of 06/05/25 Veterans Care: $4,311,012,989,874

As of 05/29/25 Veterans Care: $4,299,496,598,892

As of 06/05/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,233,217,142,149

As of 05/29/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,217,893,899,157

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

I wish to be useful, and every kind of service necessary to the public good becomes honorable by being necessary. --Nathan Hale

Famous Last Words: Am I still in my house? --Gerhart Hauptmann

..........Everybody's gone surfin'..........The Beach Boys …..Surfin' USA

Love is all you need. --The Beatles

Student loan debt. It affects everyone I know, and if you're one of the ten people it doesn't affect, congratulations on being a Kennedy. --Hasan Minhaj

1984 Required Reading: 1984 2025 Required Reading: Mein Kampf $$ What's the difference between George Orwell and Ayn Rand? People went to Geroge Orwell's funeral to mourn him. People went to Ayn Rand's funeral to make sure it was her.

May Peace shine your heart

And Joy polish your soul

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

rUsset ePistle

Famous First Words: In the Name of the Most Holy and Undivided Trinity... First Treaty of Paris 1814

It is the International Day of the Potato. Polly Potato was always reluctant to participate with the other potatoes; she's known as a hesi-tater. Ō I am too in shape. It's the shape of a potato.

Today is Heat Awareness Day. It's so hot my cigarette just lit itself.

Hippie Love: Make Love Not War

..........The rain will bring the violets of May.........Benny Goodman …..Don't Be That Way

Where there is no justice, there is no liberty. --Marcus Tullius Cicero

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. There is not a cloud in the sky which is as blue as sapphire. The 56°F temperature is cool and refreshing like the morning dew with no hint of cold or rain. A bird choir is singing in the backyard trees. I think I hear three different species' songs, but I could be wrong. The world still smells of yesterday's rain and of growth and spring. The rabbit that lives under the shed skitters back home when Puck comes out to do his morning business. Puck doesn't notice her, but I am pleased that she did not need to hide from me. I check on the sunflowers (they're growing apace) and notice that the hollyhocks are nearly ready to open their tight little buds. I toss my dizzy free head around and return to my room for creamy, sweet decaf and a Dillons donut. What a morning, and it's not even 8 yet.

Have a meat and potatoes weekend, Tater Tots.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Entropy is the natural state of the Universe. Order is temporary and must be coerced. All things yearn to return to Chaos. So no, I'm not going to put my laundry away.

Health Update of the Week: I took my last antibiotic pill on Tuesday and on Wednesday I had NO dizziness. I'm back.

Peter Potato was sent to the Psych Ward because he was starch raving mad. Ō My mother is an Idaho potato; talk about eyes in the back of your head.

It's so hot I saw a bee take off its yellow jacket.

Hippie Love: Love Makes Your Soul Crawl Out Of Its Hiding Place. --Zora Neale Hurston

..........That lovely month when everyone goes blissfully astray.........Vanessa Redgrave …..The Lusty Month of May

Trivia Questions: Happy 136^th Birthday to the Modern Brassiere!

1. Which civilization made the very first known women's breast support garments?

2. Where did the name brassiere come from?

3. When did brassieres acquire cup sizes?

4. When did the sports bra appear?

5. What was the brassiere industry in the US worth in 2024?

Big Hello: Lumela – Serrano (Uto-Aztecan, Southern California) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Balloons are so weird. Happy Birthday, here's a plastic sack of my breath. --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Insult of the Week: Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have. --J K Rowling Order of the Phoenix

Paula Potato just introduced a line of potato pajamas called Yammies. Ō Potatoes give us chips, fries, and vodka. And I planted carrots. Ō The difference between a baby and a baked potato is about 140 calories.

It's so hot Global Warming was like “Damn, it's hot out there”.

Hippie Love: Life is the flower for which love is the honey. --Victor Hugo

..........Some days in a daze.........Michael Bublé …..End of May

Moonbeam: Destiny may ride with us today, but there is no reason for it to interfere with lunch. --Tsar Peter (the great)

Blasphemy of the Week: It is easier for a removable bra cup to be inserted through the tiny hole and placed in the correct shape than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. --Submitted by MMS

Coffee Joke of the Week: Coffee: Because a good day never starts with a kale smoothie.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Do UK websites use biscuits instead of cookies?

If by crunches you mean the sound potato chips make when you eat them, then yes, I do crunches. Ō I bought a bag of Irish potatoes. When I got up in the night to get a drink of water I found them all doing Kerry sets.

It's so hot Superman took a cab.

Hippie Love: We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end. --Benjamin Disraeli

..........Oh, sweet surrender, now.........Robert Plant …..The May Queen

1) Crete is accredited with not only the first corset, but also the first bra. In fact, they were wearing bras hundreds of years before the rest of us. Funny thing is that Grecian women wore bras and corsets that supported yet exposed their breasts.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 30, 2025. The moon was new last Tuesday (5/27) and is in Cancer. Today is Heat Awareness Day, International Day of the Potato, Loomis Day, National Creativity Day, World Multiple Sclerosis Day, and Traditional Memorial Day.

Among those born on this day were Tsar Alexander I (1220), Tsar Peter (the great, 1672), Alfred Austin (1835), Louis Varney (1844), Cornelia Otis Skinner (1901), Stepin Fetchit (Lincoln Theodore Monroe Andrew Perry, 1902), Mel Blanc (1908), Benny Goodman (1909), Gale Sayers (1943), and Wynonna Judd (1964).

On May thirtieth the first Treaty of Paris was signed (1814), Memorial Day was first observed (1868), the modern brassiere was invented (1889), the National Conference on the Negro was held (1909), Albania was formed (1913), and the Lincoln Memorial was dedicated (1922).

Night Sky, 5/30: The Big Dipper floats high in the northwest these evenings. The middle star of its bent handle is Mizar, with tiny Alcor right next to it. On which side of Mizar should you look for Alcor? As always, on the side toward Vega. Which is now the brightest star in the east. Titan casts its shadow on Saturn tonight! Only every 15 years does Titan, Saturn's largest moon, cross Saturn's face from Earth's viewpoint and, more visibly, cast its tiny black shadow onto Saturn. The latest series of these events has begun. They will happen every 16 days from now to October. Tonight Titan's shadow crosses Saturn's face from 9:05 UT to 14:53 UT May 31st; that's from 5:05 a.m. to 10:53 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time May 31st; 2:05 to 7:53 a.m. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

    

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max as a 30s guy at a Decades party and Ollie in a dragon hat.

This Week: Saturday, May 31 – National Smile Day & World No-Tobacco Day & World Parrot Day

Sunday, June 1 – National Game Show Day & National Olive Day & Say Something Nice Day & Milk Day

Night Sky 6/1: Now the Moon leaves Mars behind to get chummier with Regulus, shining only about 1° from it (depending on your location). But at a distance of 79 light-years, Regulus is 1.9 billion times farther from us than the Moon is. A scale model: If the Moon was just a foot from your eye like on a screen, Regulus would be 360,000 miles in the background — a nuclear fireball at about the Moon's actual distance from us!

Monday, June 2 – Leave The Office Early Day & National Thank God It's MonDay & National Gun Violence Awareness Day

Extra Funniest Bit of the Week: You're the she to my nanigans. https://www.facebook.com/our.YoreMomm

Tuesday, June 3 – Bike Travel Day & National Egg Day & Wonder Woman Day

Wednesday, June 4 – Audacity To Hope Day & Hug Your Cat Day & Old Maid's Day

Night Sky, 6/4: Jupiter (magnitude –1.9) is on the way out. As twilight fades, look for it very low in the northwest, lower every day.

Thursday, June 5 – Festival of Popular Delusions Day & Hot Air Balloon Day & World Environment Day

Peter Potato had to get glasses. Now he's a spectator. Ō Lazy joeys are called pouch potatoes. Ō Patsy grows potato cubes; She calls them square roots. Ō The most powerful potato in the universe is Darth Tater.

It's so hot every time I try to speak, all that comes out is a Tennessee Williams monologue.

Hippie Love: The first duty of love is to listen. --Paul tillich

..........Made all the stars around them shine...........Blue Rodeo …..Five Days In May

2) The term “brassiere” was first used in Vogue in 1907. This means “support” which is what a bra is used for – to support our breasts. From there, it was shortened to the “bra” as we know it today. Early bras were also known as “bust bodices” or “Bbs” in the early 1900s.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Accept the good in your life. Like me. I'm a f*cking delight.

Moonbeam: I don't care to be remembered as the man who scored six touchdowns in a game. I want to be remembered as a winner in life. --Gale Sayers

Fun Facts of the Week: Gale Sayers had a career total of 4,956 rushing yards, 39 rushing touchdowns, and 112 receptions for 1,307 receiving yards and 9 receiving touchdowns. He also recorded 3,172 return yards and 8 return touchdowns during his time in the NFL. He played for KU during his college years.

Video of the Week: Stepin Fetchit in Miracle in Harlem (1948) (:40) https://youtu.be/KnTb-kJVDww

Equal justice under law is not just a caption on the facade of the Supreme Court Building, it is perhaps the most inspiring ideal of our society. --Warren E Burger

Hippie Love: To turn all the treasures we possess into the channel of universal love becomes the business of our lives. --John Woolman

It's so hot I realized Dune was a training manual.

Parker Potato was a famous labor union organizer. He was a member of the IWW and was a great agi-tater. Ō Christy Crisp was always making fun of her friends. She was a tater-taunt.

..........He's an on and off friend of mine.........Liz Phair …..May Queen

3) It was not until the 1920’s that a husband and wife team began changing the way bras were and actually started giving them cup sizes.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If I was meant to be controlled, I'd have come with a remote.

Weird Word of the Week: Dicktim: When someone acts like a dick, then acts like a victim about it. https://www.facebook.com/PsychoBtchLou

Dragon of the Week: Epcot Dragon --Submitted by ml of ks

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean grease from your hands. A dab of Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo cuts through the grime on your hands. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

Hippie Love: Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new. --Ursula K Le Guin

It's so hot my crayons are now watercolors.

Yosef Yam was a janitor at the local McDonalds. He was a really good sweep potato. Ō All potato puns are pomme de terrible.

...........Careless sunlight in her eyes and petals in her hair..........Heather Dale …..May Queen

4) In the 70’s, the first sports bra was invented out of (get this!) two jock straps! It’s a bit disgusting to think about that part of it, but at the same time, sports bras are our lifesaver when it comes to running, jumping and working out!

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: US accepts flying gilded brothel from Qatar. --Submitted by sd of ks ~~Which, apparently, he asked for.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: ConQuesT 54 (2-4, KCMO) KC's original Science Fiction Convention... https://conquestkc.org/

Awesomeness of the Week: Bonnie Raitt & Sheryl Crow singing Dylan's Everything Is Broken

Spark of Joy of the Week: The only person Donny Nappleseed* ever hired who was actually qualified to do their job was Stormy Daniels. *One of Jimmy Kimmel's 78 Nicknames

Hippie Love: Where There Is Great Love There Are Always Miracles. --Willa Cather

It's so hot Jesus turned the wine back into water.

I have a large potato patch and a special bag for carrying them. It's my tater tote. Ō When a potato is angry it's best not to say anything; just butter 'em up.

..........I need that heart to breathe............Secrets …...Maybe Next May

5) The bra market reached USD 31.93 billion in 2024 and is expected to attain a value of USD 54.54 billion by 2034.

Protest Sign of the Week: Dump The Turd Reich

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Tiny Hands – Giant Bribes

Quote of the Week: Disbelief in magic can force a soul into believing in government and business. --Tom Robbins

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm not a 10. I'm like two 5s held together by mashed potatoes. --Submitted by FNOG

Today's Peace of History: May 30, 1990 - Midnight Oil closed down 6th Avenue in New York City as they played a protest concert in front of Exxon's offices. The protest was in reaction to the Exxon Valdez disaster.

Hippie Love: I'd rather wear flowers around my neck than diamonds. --Oscar Wilde

It's so hot my iceberg lettuce melted.

The other day it rained potatoes. There were spuddles everywhere. Ō Penny is a good looking french fry, a real hot potato.

..........While nature wantons in her prime.........William Byrd …..The Sweet and Merry Month of May

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 30, 2025, rUsset ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Women's virtue is man's greatest invention. --Cornelia Otis Skinner

Cost of War:

As of 02/29/25 State Department Costs: $266,199,158,547

As of 05/22/25 State Department Costs: $265,623,483,660

As of 02/29/25 Homeland Security: $1,200,854,327,358

As of 05/22/25 Homeland Security: $1,200,229,066,138

As of 02/29/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,302,625,557,615

As of 05/22/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,301,017,774,002

As of 02/29/25 Military Costs: $3,148,715,787,186

As of 05/22/25 Military Costs: $3,147,495,183,839

As of 02/29/25 Veterans Care: $4,299,496,598,892

As of 05/22/25 Veterans Care: $4,287,310,901,403

As of 02/29/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,217,893,899,157

As of 05/22/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,201,580,117,054

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical. --Blaise Pascal

Famous Last Words: That's all, folks. --Mel Blanc

..........And pluck the wildflowers.........Dolores Keane …..May Morning Dew

Hippie Love: Imagine All The People Sharing All The World. --John Lennon

It's so hot the devil is out front sunbathing in a thong.

Veggie town just got it's first emergency vehicle. It's a yambulance. Ō I won the potato hiding contest because my carbo-hide-rate was so high.

May Peace ease your mind

And Joy comfort your soul

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: