oLd fArmer's ePistle

 Famous First Words: I had a farm in Africa... Karen Blixen

It's Future Farmers of America (FFA) week. Why aren't you more excited? Did you know that the FFA has the most field trips but the worst drivers. Ψ A group of farmers in Kansas is teaching milk cow to laugh. They've had a little success. They call their association Laughing Stock.

..........Farmer Joe, I'm the meanest ol' woman.........Laura Nyro …..Once It Was Alright Now

We live in capitalism, its power seems inescapable – but then, so did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. --Ursula Le Guin

It is another very cold (1°F) Friday morning. Fortunately, the wind has only made it up to 1 mph and is from the southwest. Still, melting and refreezing is not a problem, at least not yet. I spent a winter in New England one year and swore I would never again complain about the cold in Kansas (the heat, yes, but not the cold). However, climate change has rendered my vow unkeepable. It was -11 yesterday morning and that is a damned cold day. Unlike New England we are not counting on a February thaw to refill the wells, only our souls. Stay warm and hang in there – warmer weather is bound to get here eventually.

Hope your weekend is green and leafy, agri-nauts.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Compost the Oligarchy! https://www.facebook.com/EarthyHerbsWI

Quote of the Week: They (Fascists) have no clue how powerful joy and community and self-expression can be. --D L Mayfield

You know you're an FFA member when your favorite chapter isn't in the book. Ψ I was going to tell a farmer joke here, but it's too corny.

..........She talks to all the servants about man and God and law.........Bob Dylan …..Maggie's Farm

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to the Washington Monument

1. How tall is the Washington Monument anyway?

2. Here's a funny one, how much does the Washington Monument weigh?

3. About how many tourists visit the monument each year?

4. How much did the Washington Monument cost?

5. How much damage did the 2011 Virginia earthquake do to the monument?

Big Hello: Salut – Romanian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's over for Canada! No way the USA buys oil from a “trans” mountain pipeline. --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief

New Name for the Gulf of Mexico of the Week:

Gulf formerly known as Gulf of Mexico

Coffee Joke of the Week: If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, take the spoon out of the cup.

You know you're an FFA member when boys in official dress melt your heart. ψ I'm a farmer. What's a weekend?

..........The farm grew to be a moneymaker.........Garth Brooks …..Alabama Clay

Moonbeam: We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect. --Anaïs Nin

Blasphemy of the Week: I want nothing to do with Jesus-less Christianity. --John Pavlovitz

New Name for the Gulf of Mexico of the Week: Gulf of the Great Ojibwe Nation

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When God came and took all the dinosaurs to heaven that was called the Velocirapture. --Submitted by UUHS

At least Ag students can always find work in their field. ψ Jack wouldn't trade his cow for just any magic beans; they had to be organic magic beans.

..........A twelve acre farm on a ridge in southern Tennessee.........Dolly Parton …..Where Grass Won't Grow

1. The Washington Monument is 169 meters which is 554.5 feet tall.

Almanac: It is Friday, February 21, 2025. The moon entered the last quarter yesterday (2/20) and is in Sagittarius. UNESCO has declared this International Mother Language Day. Today is Hockey Jersey Day, National Grain Free Day, and World Kombucha Day. Because it is the third Friday it is also National Caregivers Day and No One Eats Alone Day.

Among those born on this day were Peter II (1728), Charles Scribner (1821), Andres Segovia (1893), Anais Nin (1903), W. H. Auden (1904), Murry the K (1922), Erma Bombeck (1927), Nina Simone (1933), David Geffen (1943), Alan Rickman (1946), Tyne Daly (1946), William Petersen (1953), and Mary-Chapin Carpenter (1958).

On February twenty-first Thomas a Becket was canonized (1173), the trial of Joan of Arc began (1431), Boris Godunov became tsar (1584), Michael Romanov became tsar (1613), the Presidential Succession Act passed (1792), the first native American newspaper was published (Cherokee Phoenix, 1828), Lucy Hobbs became the first US female dentist (1866), the Washington Monument was dedicated (1885), the National Ski Association formed (1904), New Yorker was first published (1925), Alka Seltzer was introduced (1931), Elizabeth Taylor married Micahel Wilding (1952) and Richard Nixon visited China (1972)

Night Sky, 2/21: After dinner time at this time of year, five carnivore constellations are rising upright in a row from the northeast to south. They're all presented in profile with their noses pointed up and their feet (if any) to the right. These are Ursa Major the Big Bear in the northeast (with the Big Dipper as its brightest part), Leo the Lion in the east, Hydra the Sea Serpent in the southeast, Canis Minor the Little Dog higher in the south-southeast, and bright Canis Major the Big Dog in the south. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max and Mom and Ollie

New Name for Brussels Sprouts of the Week: Biloxi Sprouts

New Name for the Gulf of Mexico of the Week: Gulf of Weasel-dicked Fascist Chuds

This Week: Saturday, February 22 – Bus Driver Appreciation Day & National Margarita Day & World Thinking Day

Sunday, February 23 – Curling Is Cool Day & National Dog Biscuit Day & Tootsie Roll Day & Hockey Day

Night Sky, 2/13: Also called Bode’s Galaxy, Messier 81 (M81) is a beautiful “grand design” spiral galaxy about 12 million light-years from Earth. It’s located in the constellation Ursa Major (The Big Dipper/Plough) and requires a telescope to see – but it’s worth it on this night when it’s high in the sky around midnight local time https://spacetourismguide.com/february-night-sky/

Monday, February 24 – Museum Advocacy Day & National Dance Day & World Bartender Day

Tuesday, February 25 – Digital Learning Day & Rubber Ducky Day

Wednesday, February 26 – Letter To An Elder Day & Pink Shirt Day & World Pistachio Day

Night Sky, 2/26: Uranus, magnitude 5.7 at the Taurus-Aries border, is still high toward the southwest right after dark, 18° west of Jupiter along the ecliptic. You'll need a good finder chart to tell it from the similar-looking surrounding stars.

Thursday, February 27 – International Polar Bear Day & Journey Day & National Kahlua Day

Running that combine isn't nearly as complicated as running in high heels...a skirt...and a blue jacket. ψ Yeah, I know you race your SUVs down by the river. Farmers race the rain in a combine.

..........Hey farmer, farmer, put away that DDT now.........Joni Mitchell …..Big Yellow Taxi

2. The monument weighs 82,422 tons (You should count your answer correct if it was within 80,000 tons)

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I suppose I better clean out the fridge, something just closed the door from the inside. https://www.facebook.com/MHAPM

Moonbeam: Good can imagine Evil; but Evil cannot imagine Good. --W H Auden

New Name for the Gulf of Mexico of the Week: Gulf of Cheaper Eggs

New Name for the Chicken Kiev of the Week: Chicken Kansas

Fun Fact of the Week: The Indigenous People of North America have decided to go back to calling the Gulf of Mexico, “Chalchiuhticueyecatl”. It is what the Nahuatl People originally called it as it is the domain of the goddess, Chalchiuhtlicue, who is associated with bodies of water, including the Gulf of Mexico

Video of the Week: Nixon shakes hands with Mao (:32) https://www.tiktok.com/@likechina2021/video/7067790278198938881

There are no nations! There is only humanity. And if we don't come to understand that right soon, there will be no nations, because there will be no humanity. --Isaac Asimov

Seriously, a degree in agriculture allows you to work in many fields. ψ I once tried to make a living as a hay farmer, but found it wasn't for me. Weather problems, labor problems, and when the harvester finally broke, it was the last straw, so I baled.

..........Hard times in the country..........Bently Boys …..Down On Penny's Farm

3. In the neighborhood of 800,000 people visit the monument every year

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The hardest part of bee keeping is thinking up all the names. --Submitted by UUHS

Weird Word of the Week: Salopettes – high waisted ski pants with shoulder straps. https://parade.com/1195613/marynliles/funny-words/

New Name for the Gulf of Mexico of the Week: Oil Rigs Gulf

New Name for the Lima Beans the Week: Liberty Beans

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Feed the fish in your aquarium. All out of fish food? In a pinch, you can feed your fish a few Cheerios. Made from oats, Cheerios double as nourishing fish food. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cheerios.html

Eddy Murphy gave up comedy and went back to school. He got a degree in agriculture and a job at the funny farm. ψ Franny Farmer drove her machinery nude. She would not tolerate a farmer's tan.

...........I'm the son of a third generation farmer.........Craig Morgan …..International Harvester

4. The monument cost $1.41 million in the 19^th century which would be about $30 million today.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Are Medusa's leg hairs tiny snakes? --Submitted by UUHS

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Con Nooga 2025 (21-23, Chattanooga, TN) It's Your Con http://www.connooga.com/

New Name for the Gulf of Mexico of the Week: Hurricane Alley

New Name for Swiss Cheese of the Week: Holy White American Cheese

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 9^th International Conference on Digital Signal Processing (21-23, Chengdu, China) Machine learning and statistical signal processing https://www.iconf.org/conference/icdsp2025

I swear, that FFA blue jacket makes the heat hotter and the cold colder. ψ Fred Farmer mated his angry ram with his moody cow. He got an animal that's always in a baaaaaaaaaad moooooooooood.

..........The cheese stands alone........Burl Ives …..Farmer In The Dell

5. The earthquake was magnitude 5.1. After the quake engineers found 150 cracks in the structure. Enough stone fell off to create a debris field. The monument was closed for three years during repairs and opened again in 2014.

Late Night Joke of the Week: I mean, fix it yourself, Oklahoma. You had plenty of warning from the song. “Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain” --Seth Meyers

New Name for the Gulf of Mexico of the Week: Gulf For Sale – contact US White House

New Name for Belgium Waffles of the Week: Florida Faffles

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The last time I had faith in the news was when it was with Huey Lewis. https://www.facebook.com/SarcasticMama

Today's Peace of History: February 21, 1866: Lucy B Hobbs (Taylor) became the first US woman to earn a DDS degree. Taylor and her husband, who was also a dentist, moved to Lawrence, KS, where they had successful practice until James Taylor died in 1886. After her husband's death, Lucy Taylor ceased to be an active dentist, but became more active in politics, campaigning for greater women's rights until her own death on October 3, 1910. Their home was at 809 Vermont. The building is still there and in use. https://www.explorelawrence.com/blog/post/lucy-hobbs-taylor/

Frida had a terrible time in tomato growing 101. She kept eating her homework. ψ Frida Farmer got herself a hot tub to relax after a hard day's work. And out of nowhere, her chickens started laying hard boiled eggs.

..........Turned down, sold out, put out to graze..........Charlie Daniels …..American Farmer

New Name for the Gulf of Mexico of the Week: Gator Gulf

New Name for the Bermuda Triangle of the Week: The American Triangle

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, February 21, 2025, oLd fArmer's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Housework – if you do it right – will kill you. --Erma Bombeck

Cost of War:

• As of 02/20/25 State Department Costs: $258, 403,386,762

• As of 02/13/25 State Department Costs: $257,848,910,397

• As of 02/20/25 Homeland Security: $1,192,386,539,315

• As of 02/13/25 Homeland Security: $1,191,784,242,460

• As of 02/20/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,280,851,297,294

• As of 02/13/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,279,302,559,455

• As of 02/20/25 Military Costs: $3,132,183,498,709

• As of 02/13/25 Military Costs: $3,131,007,556,228

• As of 02/20/25 Veterans Care:$4,134,442,762,994

• As of 02/13/25 Veterans Care: $4,122,702,198,333

• As of 02/20/25 Total Cost of Wars: $9,998,270,462,573

• As of 02/13/25 Total Cost of Wars: $9,982,647,245,792

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

As civilization advances, so does indifference. It is a disease. Immunize yourself with art. And love. --Matt Haig

Famous Last Words: This is a house of peace. --Malcolm X who was murdered 2/21/65

..........I'm staying with the farm til I die.........Woody Guthrie …..Tom Joad

Agriculture education is not just about learning how to grow crops; it's about understanding the complex system that sustains life on our planet. ψ I just got a job as senior director at Old MacDonald's farm. I'm the CIEIO.

Plant Peace

And harvest Joy

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:  Duck Duck Go and Blogspot will not print my last laugh.   Sorry.  It was a pen and ink drawing from Finding Nemo  called Picture of Dory in gray

hEarty ePistle

 Famous First Words: Did you hear what I was playing, Lane? (Algernon) --Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Happy Valentine's Day! I have loved you since the first day I saw you. Whenever that was. --Charles Schulz Δ Love is like a backache, it doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there. --George Burns

..........Well, you know you got it, if it makes you feel good.........Janis Joplin …..Piece Of My Heart

Not everyone is your brother or sister in the faith, but everyone is your neighbor, and you must love your neighbor. --Timothy Keller

It is a cold (17°F) Friday morning. A 16 mph wind whips the bare willow limbs and insists that we acknowledge the coldness. The eastern sky painted a sunrise earlier and still holds a little color and what may be a distant strip of blue sky. The western window shows only gray clouds and tree branches in motion. The local murder of crows has stopped by to sing matins for us. Stringent, but not hostile. I sip my creamed and steamed and sweetened coffee and savor both the flavor and the warmth. What a wonderful life I have. Happy Valentine's Day!

Hearts and Roses for your weekend, My Funny Valentines

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Thousands of Danish citizens are launching an effort to buy California as a response to Trump's attempt to take Greenland. They say they will provide Californians with “rule by law, universal health care, fact based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries”. --Brain Tyler Cohen --Submitted by jm of ks

Without Valentine's Day February would be...well, January. --Jim Gaffigan Δ I didn't fall for you, you tripped me. --Jenny Han

..........I want a man to hold me, not some fool to ask me why..........Bonnie Raitt …..Love Me Like A Man

Trivia Questions: Because it is Valentine's Day it is also International Kissing Day.

1. Is kissing good for you?

2. Or is kissing bad for you?

3. How much time does the average person spend kissing during a lifetime?

4. What is the longest movie kiss ever?

5. What do you know about kissing the Blarney stone

Big Hello: Sastipe! - Romani https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Be kind to your nieces and nephews. You'll need them to smuggle edibles into your nursing home some day.

Image of the Week: My February facebook picture

Coffee Joke of the Week: Don't underestimate yourself. You can do hard things. Like making coffee in the morning before you've had any coffee.

Remember, your Valentine's card shows you care enough to send the very best, even though you're too lazy to put it in your own words. --Melanie White Δ One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. --Oscar Wilde

..........How much do I love you..........Irving Berlin …..How Deep Is The Ocean

Moonbeam: I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. --Jack Benny

Blasphemy of the Week: If Paul saw the church in America we'd be getting a letter. --The Wittenburg Door Community --Submitted by bh of ks

Suggestion of the Week: We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. “Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.” --Clara Hobbs --Submitted by ar of ks

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The only secure document in DC seems to be the Epstein client list. --Submitted by sd of ks

Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all. --Jimmy Fallon Δ Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. --Joan Crawford

..........I've got you deep in the heart of me..........Cole Porter …..I've Got You Under My Skin

1. A few of bubble gum's benefits: it can help reduce dermatitis and blemishes. It can also help fight tooth decay because the extra saliva it produces cleans out your mouth. Kissing for a minute can burn up to 26 calories. And when practiced regularly, kissing may even add a few years to your life. One study claimed that men who kiss their wives every morning before leaving for work live five years longer than those who don't.

Almanac: It is Friday, February 14, 2025. The moon was full (Snow) last Wednesday (2/12) and is in Virgo. Today is Ferris Wheel Day, Frederick Douglass Day, International Kissing Day, League of Women Voters Day, Library Lovers Day, National Donor Day, National Have A Heart Day, National Women's Heart Day, Pet Theft Awareness Day, Quirkyalone Day, Race Relations Day, Valentines Day, (World) Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Day, and World Sound Healing Day.

Among those born on this day were Frederick Douglass (1817), Charles Wilson (1869), Jack Benny (1894), Crash Corrigan (1902), Thelma Ritter (1905), Jimmy Hoffa (1913), Mel Allen (1913), Hugh Downs (1921), Skeezix (1921), Florence Henderson (1934), Paul Tsongas (1941), and Drew Bledsoe (1972).

On February fourteenth Oregon was admitted as the 33rd state (1859), Morehouse College was organized (1867), New Jersey legalized labor unions (1883), The Importance of Being Earnest opened (1895), the US Department of Commerce and Labor was established (1903), Arizona became the 48th state (1912), the League of Women Voters formed (1920), Reflections in a Golden Eye was published (1941), the Bank of England was nationalized (1946), the first Knesset opened (1949), Georgia segregated baseball (1957), Wilt Chamberlain broke NBA scoring record at 20,994 (1966), Grease opened off-Broadway, where it ran for the next decade for a total of 3,388 performances. (1972), the microchip was patented (1978), and the Somalia cease fire began (1992).

Night Sky, 2/14: With a telescope this evening, watch Jupiter's moon Ganymede slowly fade from sight around 7:25 p.m. EST as it enters an eclipse by Jupiter's shadow. Ganymede will be the one about a Jupiter diameter to Jupiter's celestial east-northeast. Then watch Ganymede slowly reappear out of Jupiter's shadow around 9:56 p.m. EST, farther to Jupiter's east. Jupiter's shrunken Great Red Spot should cross the planet's central meridian about a half hour later, around 10:27 p.m. EST http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Ipod under cover

This Week: Saturday, February 15 – National Hippo Day & Susan B Anthony Day & World Whale Day

Sunday, February 16 – Kyoto Protocol Day & National Almond Day

Night Sky, 2/16: Right after night is completely dark this week, the W of Cassiopeia shines high in the northwest, standing almost on end. Near the zenith is Capella. The brightest star about midway between Cassiopeia and Capella (and a little off to the side) is Alpha Persei, magnitude 1.8. It lies on the lower-right edge of the Alpha Persei Cluster: a large, elongated, very loose swarm of fainter stars about the size of your thumb tip at arm's length. At least a dozen are 6th magnitude or brighter, bright enough to show very well in binoculars. Look fairly soon after dark before the Moon rises.

Monday, February 17 – President's Day & Random Acts of Kindness Day & World Human Spirit Day

Tuesday, February 18 – Battery Day (Volta's birthday) & National Hate Florida Day & Pluto Day (discovery not demotion)

Wednesday, February 19 – Best Friends Day & National Arabian Horse Day

Night Sky, 2/19: Venus (magnitude –4.8, in Pisces) shines brightly as the "Evening Star" in the west-southwest during twilight, then lower in the west as evening grows late. It sets about two hours after dark. In a telescope this week, Venus is a crescent about 31% sunlit. Venus is enlarging week by week as it swings toward us — it's now about 36 arcseconds from pole to pole — while waning in phase as it draws closer to our line of sight to the Sun. It'll be about 55 arcseconds in diameter near winter's end when it becomes a very thin crescent plunging down into the sunset.

Thursday, February 20 – Discover Girl Day & National Leadership Day & World Day for Social Justice

Never sign a Valentine with your own name. --Charles Dickens Δ If love is the answer, then could you rephrase the question? --Lily Tomlin

..........You make me smile with my heart..........Rodgers and Hart …..My Funny Valentine

2. On the other hand, Kissing can spread germs. One peck can contain up to 80 million new bacteria, and frequent kissing can change your microbiome. But emerging research suggests that sharing microbes could offer some healthy benefits.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Yall ever drink an iced coffee so strong that for like four minutes you have hope? --giabuchi lastrassi --Submitted by UUHS

Moonbeam: Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces. --Jack Benny

A Wonderful Thing That Happened To Me That I'm Still Processing of the Week: The late Lawrence Progressive Calendar which published its last list on April Fool's Day 2024 has risen from the flame. Introducing Arc of Justice: Progressive newsletter for Kansas. https://arcandreturn.wordpress.com/

Fun Fact of the Week: The League of Women Voters is a nonpartisan American nonprofit political organization. Founded in 1920, its ongoing major activities include registering voters, providing voter information, boosting voter turnout, and advocating for voting rights. https://www.lwv.org/

Video of the Week: Valentine Special - Betty Boop: I Want To Be Loved By You https://youtu.be/vSS5ZVk8W7I

Do not waste time bothering whether you “love” your neighbor; act as if you did. – C S Lewis

Yey! We still like each other. Happy Valentine's Day, beautiful --Anon Δ Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. --Albert Einstein

..........It's knowing that your door is always open..........Glen Campbell …..Gentle On My Mind

3. We spend two weeks of our lives kissing. On average, people spend about 336 hours snogging – that's a lot of lip service

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you care as much about church as you do about football, dump Gatorade on your pastor at the end of the sermon. --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Smicker – to look amorously after someone. https://parade.com/1195613/marynliles/funny-words/

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a food grinder quickly. Run one half cup Cheerios in the grinder to push out any tidbits of food and absorb any residual moisture. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cheerios.html

Will you be my Valentine? That was a rhetorical question. We're married. --Unknown Δ It wasn't love at first sight. It took a full five minutes. --Lucille Ball

...........I'm wild again, beguiled again..........Rodgers and Hart …..Bewitched, Bothered And Bewildered

4. The longest movie kiss lasted longer than 3 minutes. Actresses Necar Zadegan and Traci Dinwiddie locked lips for a record-setting three minutes and 23 seconds in the 2010 film Elena Undone. (Actors Gregory Smith and Stephanie Sherrin’s smooch lasted for six minutes in the 2005 low-budget comedy Kids in America, but it took place during the closing credits.)

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. --Submitted by sd of ??

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Gallifrey One 2025 (14-16, Los Angeles, CA) 35^th annual North American Doctor Who celebration! https://www.gallifreyone.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Thailand Industrial Fair (12-15, Bangkok, Thailand) From Robotic forklifts to packaging. https://www.clocate.com/thailand-industrial-fair-tif/98443/

Blasphemy of the Week II: The reason that 'guru' is such a popular word is because 'charlatan' is so hard to spell. --William J Bernstein

The thing about Valentine's Day is that people discover who is single and who to feel jealous of. --Faye Morgan Δ Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. --Jules Renard

..........Could I tell you once again somehow...........Scotty & Lulu Belle Wiseman …........Have I Told You Lately That I Love You

5. According to legend, the builder of Ireland’s Blarney Castle, one Cormac Laidir MacCarthy, was involved in a lawsuit and appealed to the Irish goddess Clíodna for help. She told him to kiss the first rock he found on his way to court. As a result, he pleaded his case with great eloquence and won. MacCarthy then laid the lucky stone into the parapet of his castle. If you kiss it you too may acquire eloquence.

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Rule #1: If you are going to mess something up, do it so badly everyone will wonder how that's even possible.

New Name for the Gulf Of Mexico of the Week: Golfo Del Gringo Loco --Marcia Morgan Till --Submitted by sb of ar

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If there is a God, he will have to beg for my forgiveness. --Carved on a wall in Auschwitz

Today's Peace of History: February 14, 1957: The organization that would shortly be called the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) chose its leadership at a meeting in New Orleans. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Ralph David Abernathy led the group which sought to coordinate civil rights protests throughout the South.

You're never alone on Valentine's Day if you're near a lake and have bread. --Mike Primavera Δ What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. --Pearl Bailey

..........Why do birds sing so gay..........Frankie Lymon & Morris Levy …..Why Do Fools Fall In Love

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, February 14, 2025: hEarty ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Website of the Week: Corruption Tracker – Documenting corruption in the arms industry https://corruption-tracker.org/blog/behind-the-smoke-the-unlawful-use-of-white-phosphorus?fbclid=IwY2xjawIUam1leHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHZC2co_eTV0--KH5EU6CHnna4-1-eusMgON8fzTvVdNVYupG0ygmlqv_fg_aem_XAjZgE5eBDFH9OoRrdD7QA

Moonbeam: Don't fear your mortality because it is this very mortality that gives meaning and depth and poignancy to all the days that will be granted to you. --Paul Tsongas

Cost of War:

As of 02/13/25 State Department Costs: $257,848,910,397

As of 02/06/25 State Department Costs: $256,184,692,725

As of 02/13/25 Homeland Security: $1,191,784,242,460

As of 02/06/25 Homeland Security: $1,191,205,991,712

As of 02/13/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,279,302,559,455

As of 02/06/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,277,815,294,946

As of 02/13/25 Military Costs: $3,131,007,556,228

As of 02/06/25 Military Costs: $3,129,878,509,574

As of 02/13/25 Veterans Care: $4,122,702,198,333

As of 02/06/25 Veterans Care: $4,111,430,159,698

As of 02/13/25 Total Cost of Wars: $9,982,647,245,792

As of 02/06/25 Total Cost of Wars: $9,967,648,054,794

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; It does not insist on its own way... I Corinthians 13

Famous Last Words: Baa --Dolly the cloned ewe who died 2/14/03

..........You've got my head spinning, no kidding...........John Legend …..All Of Me

I have no Valentine's date. Anyway, it's okay, food is love, food is life. --Unknown Δ Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. --Carroll Bryant

May Peace brighten your heart

And Joy enlighten your mind

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

cHocolate cHip ePistle

Famous First Words: The streets of London are... Charles Dickens Sketches By Boz

Happy Girl Scout Cookie Day! I can usually keep my New Year's Resolutions until cookie season. ₰ Are we really counting on the girl scouts to turn this economy around?

..........Break forth into singing, O Mountains.........William Boyce …..Sing O Heavens

When fascism comes to the United States it will be wrapped in the American Flag and will claim to be 100% Americanism. --Sinclair Lewis

It is a cloudy Friday morning. The sky is covered in large clumps of fluffy clouds that crowd out all visibility of the sky above. The clumps are gray on the bottoms where we see them but here and there is a gap between the clumps that shows a tiny piece of blue and sunlight whitens the clouds around it. The temperature is above freezing but the wind is strong enough to chill the skin if you open your window at the bank drive through. Inside it's warm and cozy. Puck is asleep on one of his pillows. Veronica ran up and down the hall frantically a couple of times but now has disappeared upstairs. As I feel better and better all the time, my house gets clearer, at least cleaner than it has been for a while and that makes me feel like I am almost back to normal. (Oops, a hidden reference to my hip surgery that I promised not to do. Sorry!). I have even begun to think of planting flowers in the yard. Spring is bound to get here sooner or later; you can't really trust that groundhog. So I plan to have a great weekend and I hope the same for you.

Hope your weekend is sweet and covered in chocolate, Lemon-Ups.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Living the dream, one nightmare at a time.

Correction of the Week: Social Security was signed into law in 1935, not 1925. Thanks to vr of th

Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies or are you a male chauvinist pig? ₰ Buy more cookies, my cats need more of these cat sized boxes.

..........St Louis woman, with her diamond ring.........Eubie Blake …..St Louis Blues

Trivia Questions: Happy Bubble Gum Day !

1. Would you like to guess how much bubble gum is chewed around the world every year?

2. What percentage of bubble gum is sugar?

3. What harm does swallowing bubble gum really do?

4. Why is pink the most used color for bubble gum?

5. How big is the bubble gum industry?

Big Hello: Bonzour – Réunion Creole https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: FBI uncovers Al-Qaeda plot to just sit back and enjoy the collapse of the United States. --the Onion

Image of the Week:

Coffee Joke of the Week: I don't drink coffee to wake up, I wake up to drink coffee.

How is your Fantasy Girl Scout Cookie game going? ₰ When I told the girl scout that I didn't have any cash on me, she pulled out her phone and asked for my paypal number. I thought Be Prepared was the boy scout motto.

..........He's sweet just like choc'late candy.........Eubie Blake …..I'm Just Wild About Harry

Moonbeam: Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options. --Chris Rock

Blasphemy of the Week: Good thing Jesus lives in our hearts cause if he lived in America he'd be deported. --Submitted by MMS

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: That trick I had up my sleeve turned out to be a dryer sheet. --Submitted by UUHS

Sometimes you just have to pull the car over, park illegally, and buy some Samoas. ₰ Strength of character is measured by how few cookies you can eat after opening the box but before getting them home..

..........He came to town like a midwinter storm...........Oscar Brand …..Cotton Eye Joe

1. 100,000 tons of bubble gum is chewed every year around the world.

Almanac: It is Friday, February 7, 2025. The moon reached the first quarter on Wednesday (2/5) and is in Gemini. Today is Ballet Day, Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day**, Charles Dickens Day, "e" Day (math), Girl Scout Cookie Day, Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day, Wear Red Day (for heart health), National Periodic Table Day, and Who Shall I Be Day. Because it is the first Friday it is also Bubble Gum Day, Give Kids A Smile Day, Wear Red Day, and Working Naked Day.

Among those born on this day were Thomas More (1478), William Boyce (1710), Ann Radcliffe (1764), John Deere (1804), Charles Dickens (1812), Frederick Douglass (1817), Ernst Franck (1847), Laura Ingalls Wilder (1867), Eubie Blake (1883), Sinclair Lewis (1885), David Ignatow (1914), Oscar Brand (1920), Al Fuzzy Smith (1928), Gay Talese (1932), Dan Quisenberry (1950), James Spader (1960), Garth Brooks (1962), and Chris Rock (1966).

** Musk's decision to stop foreign aid puts HIV treatment aid in jeopardy https://uk.news.yahoo.com/elon-musk-halts-international-hiv-160043420.html

On February seventh Michail Romanov became the czar (1613), Sketches by Boz by Dickens was published (1836), Monopoly was invented (1935), shoe rationing began in the US (1943), MacArthur returned to Manila (1945), the blockade of Cuba began (1962), Cassius Clay became Muhammad Ali (1964), Yasser Arafat became president of the PLO (1969), and Swiss women finally got the vote (1971).

Night Sky, 2/7: Orion is now high in the southeast right after dark. Left of it is Gemini, headed up by Castor and Pollux at far left. The stick-figure Twins are still lying on their sides. Well below their legs is bright Procyon. Standing 4° above Procyon is 3rd-magnitude Gomeisa, Beta Canis Minoris, the only other easy naked-eye star of Canis Minor. The Little Dog is seen in profile, but only his back and the top of his head. Procyon marks his rump, Beta CMi is the back of his neck, and two fainter stars just above that are the top of his head and his nose. Those last two are only 4th and 5th magnitude, respectively. Binoculars help through light pollution. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: A little snow in Seattle

This Week: Saturday, February 8 – Iglobal Movie Day & International Snowmobile Ride Day & Laugh and Get Rich Day & Opera Day

Night Sky, 2/8: Centaurids Meteor Shower. Up to 6 per hour. https://orbitaltoday.com/2025/01/28/februarys-only-meteor-shower-the-2025-alpha-centaurids-strikes-the-sky/

Sunday, February 9 – Autism Sunday & National Pizza Day & Super Bowl LIX

Monday, February 10 – Clean Out Your Computer Day & National Football Hangover Day & Umbrella Day

Tuesday, February 11 – Extraterrestrial Culture & Visitors Day & Get Out Your Guitar Day & World Day of the Sick

Wednesday, February 12 – Darwin Day & Paul Bunyan Day & NAACP Day

Night Sky, 2/12: Uranus, magnitude 5.7 at the Taurus-Aries border, is very high toward the southwest during early evening, 18° west of Jupiter along the ecliptic. You'll need a good finder chart to tell it from the similar-looking surrounding stars.

Thursday, February 13 – Desperation Day & Get A Different Name Day & International Condom Day

The Girl Scout website wants to put cookies on our hard drive. Should I accept? ...Only if they're thin mints. ₰ No, one box is not the serving size.

..........Hoist up your anchor, make for the sea.........Oscar Brand …..Small Boat Calypso

2. 60-70% of bubble gum is sugar.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Volkswagen should bring back the beetle as an electric car and call it the lightning bug. --Heather Ifversen

Moonbeam: Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as work. --Frederick Douglass

Fun Fact of the Week: e Day celebrates the mathematical constant e, which has a wide range of mathematical applications. Here's a bit of background on e and why it's worthy of celebration! As the history of mathematics has unfolded, mathematicians have discovered a number that, in addition to being useful in number theory, occurs over and over in describing nature in mathematical terms. This number is the mathematical constant e. It is an irrational number (a non–repeating decimal) and also a transcendental number (it is not the solution of any algebraic polynomial). The first 20 decimal places of the numerical value of e are: e = 2.71828182845904523536...

Video of the Week: In Honor of Periodic Table Day Tom Lehrer: The Elements Song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2cfju6GTNs (1:20)

The trouble with this country is that there are too many people going around saying, “The trouble with this country is...” --Sinclair Lewis

I prefer to call this “girl scout cookies season” instead of winter. ₰ I live in Kansas City, why aren't there any girl scout cookies shaped like red football helmets?

..........a bulgin' at the trousers and a heart of solid oak.........Oscar Brand …..Bell Bottom Trousers

3. One of the most famous, but false facts, is that swallowed gum will remain in your gastrointestinal tract for seven years. It is not so. Swallowed bubble gum will not get stuck to your intestines, but will pass through your system, because, gum base cannot be digested, as it has fiber that is indigestible.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: While we're talking about it, the Electoral College is DEI for red states. --Submitted by 1stKAFB

Weird Word of the Week: Bumfuzzle – to perplex or confuse https://parade.com/1195613/marynliles/funny-words/

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: How many boxes of these thin mints do you have to eat before you see results? ₰ Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you cases of Girl Scout Cookies.

...........I worked too hard to call my life my own........Garth Brooks …..Shameless

4. The color of the first successful bubble gum was pink, because it was the only color that was left with the inventor.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They're eating the checks. They're eating the balances. --Submitted by 98%

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CapriCon 45 (6-9, Chicago) Let your geek flag fly https://capricon.org/

Blasphemy of the Week II: Cosplay Christians is my new favorite description of Christian Nationalists. --Mark Sandlin --Submitted by https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61554307011761

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 2025 Breast Cancer Conference (7, Chicago) knowledge and skills for the interprofessional oncology team https://education.nccn.org/breast2025

I just ate three boxes of peanut butter patties, do I get a badge? ₰ It is certainly fun being a girl scout when you live next door to the Cookie Monster.

..........Well, it's bulls and blood, it's dust and mud........Garth Brooks …..Rodeo

5. Kids in North America spend approximately half a billion dollars on bubble gum every year.

Late Night Joke of the Week: Denmark, Panama, Greenland – the Axis of Where Are Those? --Jon Stewart The Daily Show 2/3/25

Quote of the Week: Happiness arises in a state of peace, not of tumult. --Ann Radcliffe

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The difference between Donald Trump and Jim Jones is that Trump would charge you for the kool-aid. --Submitted by Lawrence Liberals

Today's Peace of History: February 7, 1991: The Reverend Jean-Bertrand Aristide was sworn in as Haiti's president after winning the country’s first-ever democratic election. Haiti had achieved its independence from France in 1804 but had a long succession of unstable governments, as well as significant U.S. control in the first half of the 20th century, including military occupation from 1915 to 1934.

My idea of fitness in getting a whole caramel deLight in my mouth. ₰ Fig Newtons are made with real figs. What are girl scout cookies made with?

..........Like a bird upon the wind these waters are my sky........Garth Brooks …..The River

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, February 7, 2025, cHocolate cHip ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all. --Laura Ingalls Wilder

Cost of War:

• As of 02/06/25 State Department Costs: $256,184,692,725

• As of 01/30/25 State Department Costs: $256,737,664,095

• As of 02/06/25 Homeland Security: $1,191,205,991,712

• As of 01/30/25 Homeland Security: $1,190,577,145,152

• As of 02/06/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,277,815,294,946

• As of 01/30/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,276,198,462,321

• As of 02/06/25 Military Costs: $3,129,878,509,574

• As of 01/30/25 Military Costs: $3,128,650,732,399

• As of 02/06/25 Veterans Care: $4,111,430,159,698

• As of 01/30/25 Veterans Care: $4,099,172,258,474

• As of 02/06/25 Total Cost of Wars: $9,967,648,054,794

• As of 01/30/25 Total Cost of Wars: $9,951,337,249,022

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Under a tyranny, most friends are a liability. One quarter of them turn “reasonable” and become your enemies, one quarter are afraid to speak, and one quarter are killed and you die with them. But the blessed final quarter keep you alive. --Sinclair Lewis

Famous Last Words: ...and her lips came together and smiled mysteriously. --Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck who died 2/7/91 of heart failure

..........Yeah, I'm not big on social graces.........Garth Brooks …..Friends in Low Place

My daughter was out selling girl scout cookies when she was mugged by a Keebler elf. And Pam Bondi not only didn't arrest them, she ate all the remaining boxes of evidence. ₰ What were the first words Mark Getz new girlfriend said to him? “Wanna buy some girl scout cookies?”

May Peace be your dough

And Joy be your glaze

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Love does not reflect; it is unreasonable and knows no moderation. --St Peter Chrysologus