mAcroni ePistle

Famous First Words: I'm getting chilled to the bone... Bernard Shaw Opening line of Pygmalion

What's black and white and red all over? A Penguin angry about tariffs. ₧ The president of the richest, most powerful nation on earth wants to impose 10% tariffs on us, a frozen island inhabited only by penguins. What could he possibly think we have? Eggs! ₧ Flippers Up! I stand with the Heard and McDonald Penguins! ₱ Oh, no, have you ever heard a penguin speak Russian?

..........Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome..........Joel Grey …..Willkommen (Cabaret)

When forced to summarize the general theory of relativity in one sentence: Time and space and gravitation have no separate existence from matter. --Albert Einstein The Theory of Relativity

It is a bright Friday morning. The sun is shining; the wind is blowing. The sky holds few clouds to cast shadows. Birds have been up and singing all morning...happy morning songs, calls and responses, conversations. Busy, busy, busy. Both Puck and Veronica have been out this morning – briefly, but out. Now Puck is asleep on my foot and Veronica has disappeared. The north wind at 11 mph makes the 56°F seem chilly but the greens and purples and yellow of flowers adds a little warmth. I am sipping doctored decaf while a scented candle adds a cinnamon flavor to the air. What a delightful morning.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, Happy Feet. (When penguins communicate vocally, they are loud and bray or emit shrill screams.)

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sorry, I'm a little behind. Was it DEI or a trans athlete that crashed the stock market? --Submitted by 1stKAFB

The penguin prime minister needs to determine whether to begin preparing for war with the United States over “Economic Attacks”! ₱ Drat! Do we think they've discovered that we're the ones smuggling in all that fentanyl? ₧ You don't want to know what happens when you trigger a flightless bird's fight or flight response.

..........Alive and Well and Thriving..........Joel Grey …..I'll Be Here Tomorrow (Grand Tour)

Trivia Questions: Happy Barbershop Quartet Day

1. What are the four voices in Barbershop Quartets?

2. What does the SPEBSQSA stand for?

3. Which star of Diagnosis, Murder frequently sang with a Barbershop Quartet on the show?

4. Approximately how many men are registered as Barbershoppers in North America?

5. Which musical by Meredith Willson features a Barbershop quartet as the school board?

Big Hello: Svēks – Samogitian (Lituania) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Mexico says that the best way to stop Rapists & Criminals getting a foothold in America, is not to elect them president. --Submitted by sb of ar

Image of the Week: This is my granddaughter, my daughter, and my 2 great grandsons at the Hands Off Demonstration in Bremerton, WA. Not pictured are my grandson and his wife who were in the demonstration in Washington, DC. On my birthday.

Sentimental Moment of the Week: When my daughter posted this picture on facebook, this is what she wrote. Protesting runs in our family. Fun fact today is my mother’s birthday who took me to my first political event when I was two. February Sisters at the University of Kansas - check it out! She thought this was an awesome birthday gift.

Not So Fun Fact of the Week: Humans now only make up 38.5% of internet traffic. The other 61.5% is non-human (bots, hacking tools, etc). Happy National Robotics Week (5-13)

Have the penguins ever once said Thank You to us for letting them live there? I don't think so. --Vixen Vance ₱ The penguins amassed great wealth as they “looted, pillaged, raped, and plundered” the United States through unfair trade practices. ₧ Lawyers for the protesting penguins at the St Louis got their bail reduced pointing out that they are not a flight risk. ₱ What are you going to do? Deport us? We've been dealing with ICE for centuries.

..........Take away the sense of drama..........Joel Grey …..The Plum Is Too Ripe (Fantastics)

Moonbeam: The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can't help it. --Leo Rosten

Blasphemy of the Week: The Church often domesticated Jesus into a mascot rather than following him as a revolutionary. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61554307011761

Coffee Joke of the Week: To Do: 1) Drink Coffee 2) Be Awesome

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I can't believe it's been over a 100 years since Einstein proposed the Theory of Relativity. Feels like only yesterday.

Well at least, the penguin was wearing a classier suit than anyone in the US delegation. ₱ I understand that the penguins are meeting with Zelinsky at this moment. ₱ This ePistle is marked safe from penguins – and their totally unfair trade policies.

..........You can take my father's crown and pack it..........Joel Grey …..Goodtime Charley (Goodtime Charley)

1) The four voice parts in Barbershop Quartet are Tenor, Lead, Baritone, and Bass

Almanac: It is Friday, April 11, 2025. The moon will be full (Pink) on Sunday (4/13) and is in Libra. Today is Barbershop Quartet Day, International "Louie Louie" Day, National Cheese Fondue Day, National Clean Up Your Pantry Day, National Donate Life (Blue & Green) Day, National Pet Day, National Ranch Water Day, National Teach Children to Save Day, Submarine Day, and World Parkinson's Disease Day.

Among those born on this day were William W. Campbell (1862), Dean Acheson (1893), Paul Douglas (1907), Leo Rosten (1908), Oleg Cassini (1913), Ethel Kennedy (Skakel, 1928), Joel Grey (1932), Louise Lasser (1939), and Peter Riegert (1947),

On April eleventh the Peace of Troyes was signed (1564), Napoleon was exiled (1814), the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks was organized (1876), Spelman College was founded (1881), Ellis Island was designated as an immigration station (1890), the Treaty of Paris was ratified (1899), Einstein introduced his Theory of Relativity (1906), Pygmalion premiered (1914), the first state cigarette tax was levied (IA, 1921), the first weather satellite was launched (Tiros I, 1960), Dylan first appeared at Folk City (1961), Apollo 13 did not land on the moon (1970), Idi Amin was overthrown (1979), and Haley's comet came within 63 trillion km of Earth (1986),

Night Sky, 4/11: At this time of year, the two Dog Stars stand vertically aligned around the end of twilight. Look southwest. Brilliant Sirius in Canis Major is below, and Procyon in Canis Minor is about two fists above. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Dinosaur Boys

This Week: Saturday, April 12 – Big Wind Day & International Day of Human Space Flight & Passover & World Circus Day

Sunday, April 13 – Scrabble Day & Palm Sunday & Make Lunch Count Day

Night Sky, 4/13: Vega, the bright "Summer Star," rises in the northeast late these evenings. How early or late depends on your latitude and also on your longitude within your time zone. Exactly where should you watch for Vega to come up? Spot the Big Dipper almost overhead in the northeast. Look at Mizar at the bend of its handle. If you can see Mizar's tiny, close companion Alcor (binoculars show it easily), follow a line from Mizar through Alcor all the way down to the horizon. That's where Vega will make its appearance!

Monday, April 14 – International Moment of Laughter Day & National Gardening Day & Vaisakhi (Sikh New Year)

Tuesday, April 15 – Income Tax Day & National ASL Day (American Sign Language) & Take A Wild Guess Day

Wednesday, April 16 – Emancipation Day & National Orchid Day & World Voice Day

Night Sky, 4/16: Mercury and Saturn are all but undetectable very deep in the glow of sunrise; both are about 6° or 7° below Venus all week. Mercury brightens to a mere magnitude +1.0 near week's end, while Saturn holds at magnitude +1.2. Maybe try for them with a telescope if you have a very flat east horizon?

Thursday, April 17 – Bat Appreciation Day & Ellis Island Family History Day & Herbalist Day

Krill Capitalism: No Krill No Deal ... Our GDP is 12 fish and a shiny rock. ₱ Someone just reported that a waddle of penguins set fire to a cyber truck. ₧ I think it's because Melania was having an affair with a penguin while the Orange One was on the campaign trail. ₧ The Heard Island penguins have already made a new trade deal...with Canada

..........I was merely blown here by the winds of chance..........Joel Grey …..Wonderful (Wicked)

2) SPEBSQSA – Society for Preservation and Encouragement of BarberShop Quartet Singing in America aka American Barbershop Harmony Society

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This is really unfair to everyone who just voted for him for the racism. --Ken Jennings

Moonbeam: I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe. --Leo Rosten

Fun Fact of the Week: Happy Submarine Day! The first recorded submarine was constructed in 1620 by Cornelius Drebbel, a Dutch inventor. It used oars for propulsion. Images

Video of the Week: Penguin leader responds to Genghis Don's tariffs: https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=penguin%20tariff%20jokes

Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the word. --Albert Einstein The Theory of Relativity

This morning at the Lincoln Park Zoo all the penguins were wearing No Tariffs signs on their backs ₱ The Flipper Rights movement is training birds of all species to discern Tesla cars for bathroom messaging. ₧ Who speaks for the penguins?

..........That's why I do the best I can..........Joel Grey …..A Sentimental Man (Wicked)

3) Dick Van Dyke sang with a quartet named Metropolis, and they were the 2003 third place medallists in SPEBSQSA's International Quartet Competition.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The difference between Jim Jones and The Not-So-Great Pumpkin is that the president will charge you for the kool aid.

Penguin Fact of the Week: The Heard & McDonald Islands are inhabited by the southern elephant seal and macaroni, gentoo, king, and eastern rockhopper penguins. My favorite is the macaroni which is called the crested penguin anywhere else in the world Here's a Picture

Weird Word of the Week: Blustrification – action of celebrating boisterously https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-abs1.html

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Shave. If you run out of shaving cream, slater on Cheez Whiz. The oils in the cheez Whiz lubricate the skin for a close shave and a unique scent. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cheezwhiz.html

A mysterious message has appeared in the snows of McDonald Island. It appears to be made of penguin shit and says YANKEE GO HOME ₱ The Penguins shouldn't feel so bad, he also set tariffs on Narnia, Hogwarts, Asgard, and Wakanda. But not on Mordor or Mars. ₧ Help the penguins pay their tariffs. Send fish to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave Washington DC

...........Just a perfect blendship..........Joel Grey …..Friendship (Anything Goes)

4) About 20,000 men are officially into barbershop harmony in North America.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A little girl and her mom were looking at me at the coffee shop this morning and I hear her mom say, “go on, it's ok!” and the little girl shuffled up to me and said, “excuse me plea, do you have to put on your tattoos by yourself every day or dores you mom help you? https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100081967500272

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: InterGalactic ConQuest 2025 (11-13, Sacramento, CA) ...exciting array of board games, role playing games, and large scale miniature games! https://scificons.com/events/info/23934/intergalactic-conquest-2025

Musing of the Week: I was uplifted by today's (Saturday, 4/5) demonstrations. I read the number is 3.5 million people. (By Tuesday it was estimated at 5 million) My daughter and her daughter and her two grandsons and her son and her daughter in law all went to demonstrations on either side of the continent. From the demonstration in Kansas City at Mill Creek Park -where I have protested many times- the first of several pictures was a little old lady – no, not as old as me, but gray haired – was holding a sign that said F*CK TR*MP (without asterisks). And I remembered that the very first demonstration I went to was an anti-draft vigil in front of the Draft Office downtown Lawrence, KS. And Kimbel (George, I think, the sports writer) was busted for carrying a F*CK THE DR*FT...well, not a sign. He had written it on a piece of paper (I don't even think it was a full sized sheet) and was carrying it where only those of us standing vigil could see. Except for a policeman who saw it and arrested him. That was 1964 or 65. So 60 years later people can carry such a sign. Later in the series there was a picture of the same sign in the arms of one of the Plaza's adorable Easter Bunny statues that come out only at the time of year. I quote The Dead: What a long strange trip it's been.

Spark of Joy of the Week: Livestream African Penguin Cam https://www.georgiaaquarium.org/webcam/african-penguin-cam/

First they came for the LGBTQ+ community because they're homophobic. Then they came for people of different races because they're racist. Then they came for the poor because they're rich. Now they've come for the penguins and I'm just confused. ₱ Actually, the penguins only don't need the stuff we export because they don't have thumbs. Why should the American taxpayer suffer because penguins don't have thumbs?

..........You got the huggin'est arms..........Joel Grey …..Shoppin' Around (1957)

5) The Music Man featured the Buffalo Bills singing Good Night, Ladies, It's You, and Lida Rose

Protest Sign of the Week: So Many ISSUES So Little CARDBOARD

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Hands On To Give Me A Hug (carried by Ollie)

Best Protest Sign of the Week: I Was Accidentally Added To This Protest By A Signal Group Chat.

Another Really Good Protest Sign of the Week: Two Paths Diverged In the Wood And America Took The Psycho Path

Quote of the Week: Somehow (the Head Traffic Cone) has managed to transform the stock market into Kanye West. --Jimmy Kimmel

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In the beginning there was nothing, Which exploded. --Terry Pratchett Lords and Ladies

Today's Peace of History: April 11, 1968: the Civil Rights Act of 1968 was signed into law.

I hope Fox is making a TV movie about the decision making process for putting tariffs on penguins. I hope Danny DeVito plays the penguin foreign minister. ₱ Penguin Protest: Unfair Trade! Make Fish Cheap Again! No tariffs on Tuxedos! ₱ McDonald Island just ordered 5,000 very small Guy Fawkes masks.

..........Cause you can look right through me..........Joel Grey …..Mr Cellophane (Chicago)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, April 11, 2025, mAcaroni ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. --Leo Rosten

Cost of War: As of 04/10/25 State Department Costs: $262,292,224,688

As of 04/03/25 State Department Costs: $261,744,745,476

As of 04/10/25 Homeland Security: $1,196,610,545,212

As of 04/03/25 Homeland Security: $1,196,015,933,585

As of 04/10/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,291,712,940,563

As of 04/03/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,290,184,012,817

As of 04/10/25 Military Costs: $3,140,430,275,291

As of 04/03/25 Military Costs: $3,139,269,433,213

As of 04/10/25 Veterans Care: $4,216,776,248,269

As of 04/03/25 Veterans Care: $4,205,186,909,447,

As of 04/10/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,107,824,116,747

As of 04/03/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,092,403,192,668

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

God does not play dice. (with the universe) --Albert Einstein The Theory of Relativity

Famous Last Words: ...in the year of our Lord one thousand eighteen hundred and ninety-eight. --Treaty of Paris..wait for it...1898

..........And say that I'll be there e'er long..........Joel Grey …..Give Me Regards To Broadway (George M)

I want a flag that says Don't Tread On Me with a picture of a penguin ₱ The McDonald Island penguins have just imposed their own 10% tariff on US imports – shiny stones, non tuxedo clothing, nonsense, and hot air. They expect the entire population will be able to retire to the south of France by fall. ₱ Apparently the authors of Project 2025 were frightened by Chilly Willy at a very young age.

May Peace Pay Your Tariffs

And Joy Join Your Gang

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: 

bIrthday ePistle

 Famous First Words: The City of Los Angeles shall continue... Incorporation Charter of Los Angles

Tomorrow I will be 81. Somehow, I thought getting old would take longer. °° So I'm an octogenarian which is Latin for “Holy Crap, I'm 80”. °° I'm at the age where if I wake up and nothing hurts, I assume I'm dead. °° I might be too old to learn new tricks; but my old tricks work just fine.

I'm so old I remember the Grand Canyon when it was just a ditch.

..........Like a circle round the sun.........Muddy Waters …..All Night Long

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. --Maya Angelou

It is gray Friday morning. The temperature of 46°F is not cold but the 10 mph northwest wind makes it seem so. The sky is heavily overcast and the ground is wet from overnight rains. The wind is keeping the willow branches in constant motion, writhing and dancing in the cool spring air. Puck went out, barked a little, and came back in to sleep on this pile of blankets on top of a pillow. (Prince and the Pea ?) I am drinking treated decaf and eating mini blueberry muffins. The warm coffee tickles my nose when I bring the cup to my face. I think it is part of what I like about warm liquids in the morning. Wow, the furnace just kicked in; even the equipment thinks it's a chilly morning. The roar of the fan blocks out any birdsong that would make it through the door. So I turned on music. Pack Up Your Sorrows by Richard & Mimi Farina. Are we ready for a great weekend?

Hope your weekend is a reason to celebrate, party animals

Best of luck is you are peacefully protesting tomorrow. Stay safe.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I went to an antiques auction yesterday. Three people bid on me. --Submitted by jm of ks

Absurdity of the Week: Donald Trump's tariff list includes 10% on the McDonald Islands which are inhabited solely by penguins. The era of penguins ruining our economy by flooding the market with cheap krill is over. --Submitted by sh of

My 80s, the Snapdragon period of life: My mind has snapped and the rest of me is draggin'. °° In your 80s time speeds up...times you need to pee in a day...times you don't remember why you came into the kitchen...times for a nap. °° My bank has begun to send me their free calendar – one month at a time.

I'm so old the first concert I went to was at Stonehenge.

..........I hope you're ready for me.........Muddy Waters …..I'm Ready

Trivia Questions: It's National D.A.R.E. Day

1. What do the letters D.A.R.E stand for?

2. How long has D.A.R.E been around?

3. What is prevention science?

4. What was the typical D.A.R.E meeting like?

5. How effective is D.A.R.E?

Big Hello: Malō – Samoan https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Drinking a large amount of water every day helps you avoid other people's drama because you're too busy peeing. Stay Hydrated! --Submitted by UUHS

Image of the Week: My official birthday portrait. I'm singing at a Save Democracy Rally in South Park, Lawrence, KS 3/30/35. Oddly, I'm the one on the extreme right.

Question of the Week: If poison is past its expiry date, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

I am swift as a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a land rover. Seven days ago. --Submitted by jm of ks °° You're Only Old Once: A book for Obsolete Children by Dr Seuss. °° My new all nighter means that I didn't have to get up to pee.

I'm so old my driver's license is carved in stone.

..........Well, you're having a good time now.........Muddy Waters …..Gypsy Woman

Moonbeam: What is man? … What a strange union of matter and mind! A machine for converting materials into spiritual force. --Benjamin Peirce

Blasphemy of the Week: God is always trying to give us good things, but our hands are too full to receive them." --St Augustine --Submitted by js of kc

Coffee Joke of the Week: I run on Coffee, Chaos, and Cuss words.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: CVS has their Gillette razors under more security than Pete Hegseth's war plans. --Submitted by Feminist News

Last week my son turned 59. But I've explained to him that he can't have any more birthdays because it sounds older to say, “My son is sixty.” than “I'm 81.” °° No one can use the “keep that up and you'll die young” argument against me anymore. °° I get “butt wiggle”, “bingo wing flap”, and “boob wobble”; and that's just while I'm brushing my teeth.

I'm so old my birth certificate has expired.

..........Well, all whiskey and women would not let me pray.........Muddy Waters …..Rollin' and Tumblin'

1) D.A.R.E. = Drug Abuse Resistance Education

Almanac: It is Friday, April 4, 2025. The moon enters the first quarter tomorrow and is in Cancer. Today is International Day for Mine Awareness & Assistance in Mine Action, Hospital Admitting Clerks Day, International Kids Yoga Day, National D.A.R.E. Day, Victims of Violence Wholly Day, Vitamin C Day, and World Rat Day, Because it is the first Friday in April it is also National Day of No Silence. In Massachusetts it is Student Government Day.

Among those born on this day were Marcus Aureius Antoniius (188), Dorothea Dix (1802), Benjamin Pierce (1809), Linus Yale (1821), Nikolai Amani (1872), Arthur Murray (1895), John Cameron Swayze (1906). Ernestine Gilbreth Carey (1908), Muddy Waters (McKinley Morganfield, 1915), Eric Rohmer (1920), Gil Hodges (1924), Eva Marie Saint (1924), Cloris Leachman (1926), Maya Angelou (Marguerite Johnson , 1928), Peter Attenborough (1938), Craig T. Nelson (1946), Christine Lahti (1950), and Robert Downy Jr. (1965).

On April fourth Francis Drake was knighted (1581), the city of Los Angeles was incorporated (1850), Golden Gate Park was established (1870), vitamin C was first isolated (1932), Faisal II ascended to throne of Iraq (1939), the first demonstration against nuclear weapons was held (1958), Senegal declared independence (1960), the first artificial heart was implanted (1969), the first electric power plant fueled by garbage began operating (1972), Winston Smith began his secret diary (1984), and Kansas beat Oklahoma to win the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship (1988).

Night Sky, 4/4: The first quarter moon this evening shines under Castor, Pollus, and Mars. They seem to move faster near the zenith than on the horizon. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max is batting leadoff for Bennie's Jets and Ollie is Caesar

  

This Week: Saturday, April 5 – International Day of Conscience & International Pillow Fight Day & Slow Art Day

Sunday, April 6 – Dictionary Day & New Beers Eve & Tartan Day

Night Sky, 4/6: The Big Dipper is high in the northeast these evenings, tipping over to the left dumping its water. Its handle and the two stars of its bowl closest to the handle form a broad, rough arc. To the right of it, somewhat near the focus of that arc, shines a lone 3rd-magnitude star. That's Cor Caroli, the brightest star of Canes Venatici. It's a beautiful telescopic double, magnitudes 2.9 and 5.6, separation 19 arcseconds. They're spectral types B and G, respectively.

Monday, April 7 – Metric System Day & International Beaver Day & No Housework Day

Tuesday, April 8 – National Be Kind to Lawyers Day & National Library Day & Trading Card for Grown-Ups Day

Wednesday, April 9 – Appomattox Day & Jumbo Day & National Unicorn Day

Night Sky, 4/9: Jupiter shines bright white (magnitude –2.1) high in the west these evenings, in Taurus 38° lower right of Mars along the ecliptic. This week Jupiter shines midway between Aldebaran below it and Beta Tauri (El Nath) above it. This line of three turns straight on April 1st and 2nd.

Thursday, April 10 – ASPCA Day & Poem In Your Pocket Day & Safety Pin Day & Take Action For Libraries Day

I've given up eating healthy food. I can use all the preservatives I can get. °° 80 is the age where you can get by with forgetting absolutely anything you want – names, relationships, who wrote Shakespeare's sonnets. °° I remember the words to every Beatles song but I'm not sure of my address.

I'm so old my memories are in black and white.

..........I don't see a doggone thing.........Muddy Waters …..I Can't Get Satisfied

2) D.A.R.E. Began in Los Angeles in 1984 for middle-schools and 1989 for high schools. It went national in 1989.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.

Moonbeam: Brains are still unfashionable for women to wear, and it has always been proof of women's superiority that the more intelligent a man is, the more women admire him, while the bigger fool a woman is, the more men run after her. --Dorothea Dix

Fun Fact of the Week: Corey Booker held the senate floor (24 hrs) longer than JD Vance was in Greenland (3 hr).

Video of the Week: In Honor of World Rat Day (31): https://youtu.be/9Gtr8GatGIk

Open your eyes to the beauty around, open your mind to the wonders of life, open your heart to those who love you and always be true to yourself. --Maya Angelou

I'm so old I still owe Moses a few bucks.

Who needs presents when you've got 80 years of hilarious memories. °° As an octogenarian I strive to keep my joints as flexible as my attitude. °° It is said that wisdom comes with age, but it is possible it is only selective memory. °° Senior Center games: Trying to guess what your tattoo was originally.

..........I feel like ballin' the jack.........Muddy Waters …..I Feel So Good

3) Prevention Science is the scientific study and evaluation of prevention curricula). It emerged as a field of science in the 1990. Columbia University's Dr Herbert Kleber led the program. Some studies were also made independent of D.A.R.E.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you don't like the United States why don't you just leave? Because I don't want to be a victim of its Foreign Policy. --Submitted by MMS

Weird Word of the Week: Skirl – To play on the bagpipes. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/skirl

Dragon of the Week: The oldest known image of a dragon is this Hongshan Jade Dragon dated to around 5,000 years ago.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Feed pill medication to a dog or cat. Place the pill in the palm of your hand, smother it with Cheez Whiz, and let your dog or cat lap up the cheese, oblivious to the fact that she's also consumed the pill. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cheezwhiz.html

I'm so old my baby pictures are cave drawings.

In your 80s every day is a new adventure: Where did you leave your keys? How long do you boil an egg? Who are you? °° Being 81 is kind of like being a tortoise on caffeine. °° Everyday I wake up feeling like it's the day after even though there was no night before.

...........I got mojo too.........Muddy Waters …..You're Hoochie Coochie Man

4. A typical D.A.R.E meeting usually involved a police officer coming to school to talk about drugs and alcohol. The cop would also tell kids about the over 9000 chemicals in tobacco. Then, the cop pulls out a dollar bill that they likely took out of their child's piggy bank, and burns it to try and show how people burn away their money on cigarettes. Little did they know that destroying or defacing currency is a crime.

~~My grammar checker is unable to deal with the period after the E in D.A.R.E.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I have officially passed the “you look good for your age” stage; now it's “Oh, you're still alive!”

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Awesome Con 2025 (4-6, Washington DC) ...bringing together 60,000 fans... https://awesome-con.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 33^rd European Congress of Psychiatry (5-8, Madrid, Spain) The EPA is honoured to announce that Her Majesty Queen Letizia of Spain has graciously accepted the Honorary Presidency of the 33rd European Congress of Psychiatry. https://epa-congress.org/

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember. --Terry Pratchett

Spark of Joy of the Week: Demonstration organized by children (:44) https://youtu.be/nDqS7RhWYp8

I'm so old my birthstone is lava.

When Mr Berman, my father's friend, turned 80, the children in the neighborhood started breaking into his house to steal his glasses. °° The prize for living this long is Atrophy. °° I used to wake up feeling like a million bucks, now it's more like a bounced check.

..........I hear a lot of buzzing.........Muddy Waters …..Honey Bee

5) There are numerous studies that don't support the program as a drug abuse deterrent: When it comes to marijuana specifically, 5.8% of 8^th graders, 13.8% of 10th graders, and 19.4% of seniors were using it in 2008. Just five years later, those figures increased to 7%, 18%, and 22.7%.

Protest Sign of the Week: A Woman's Place Is In The Resistance

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Abort Unwanted Presidents

Quote of the Week: I'm confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living. --Katt Williams

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They say white people don't have their own culture but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog and there's no way we appropriated that from anyone else. --@BigRadMachine

Today's Peace of History: April 4, 1969: CBS cancelled “The Smothers Brothers' Comedy Hour," a television show which featured edgy political satire and such rock bands as the Beatles, the Who, Jefferson Airplane and the Doors. The brothers had refused to censor a comment made by Joan Baez. She wanted to dedicate a song to her husband, David, who was about to go to jail for objecting to the draft during the Vietnam War. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdmlMnh5Zeo

I'm so old I babysat God when he was a toddler.

Octogenarians are great multitaskers. For instance, I can sneeze and pee at the same time with no trouble at all. °° The older I get the earlier it gets late. °° You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking ”I may as well pee while I'm here”.

..........Back down the road I'm goin'.........Muddy Waters …..Rolling Stone

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, April 4, 2025, bIrthday ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Often injustice lies in what you aren't doing, not only in what you are doing. --Marchus Aurelius

Cost of War:

As of 04/03/25 State Department Costs: $261,744,745,476

As of 03/27/25 State Department Costs: $261.183,218,722

As of 04/03/25 Homeland Security: $1,196,015,933,585

As of 03/27/25 Homeland Security: $1,195,405,957,996

As of 04/03/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,290,184,012,817

As of 03/27/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,288,615.546.487

As of 04/03/25 Military Costs: $3,139,269,433,213

As of 03/27/25 Military Costs: $3,138,078,607,284

As of 04/03/25 Veterans Care: $4,205,186,909,447

As of 03/27/25 Veterans Care: $4,193,298,608,405

As of 04/03/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,092,403,192,668

As of 03/27/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,076,584,432,630

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Each one of us has lived through some devastation, some loneliness, some weather superstorm or spiritual superstorm, when we look at each other we must say, I understand. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself. We must support each other and empathize with each other because each of us is more alike than we are unalike. --Maya Angelou

Famous Last Words: He loved big brother. --George Orwell 1984

..........Well, bye-bye, baby, I hope we meet again.........Muddy Waters …..You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

When I die and my atoms become free, I hope they travel the universe I never got to see.

The fire marshal sent me a letter. I assumed it was a birthday card, but it was a notice that my birthday cake would be a fire hazard and it had been banned. °° There is hope, you're only as old as you remember you are. °° There's a certain age where you can no longer use the term “Good girl gone bad”. It's more like “her old ass should know better”.

May your begin each day

And your Joy last a lifetime

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Love is the whole thing. We are only pieces. --Rumi

wIll's ePistle 2025

 Famous First Words: Every day the factory whistle bellowed... --Maxim Gorky Mother

Welcome to Shakespeare Week (24-30)! A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality. ₤ Methink'st thou are a general offence and every man should beat thee. --Shakespeare All's Well That Ends Well

..........Pour myself a cup of ambition.........Dolly Parton …..Nine To Five

You have the God-given right to kick government around - don't hesitate to do so. --Edmund Muskie

It is a gorgeous (67°F) Friday morning. The sky is populated with fluffy white clouds. For visuals a stiff breeze is blowing the willow branches with their newly sprouted leaves, and green is busting out all over. Puck has been out to greet the day and to greet Bruno; but now he sleeps under my desk. Veronica celebrated National Respect Your Cat Day by lying in the open backdoor and respecting the nature she saw there. I have been out to take deep breaths of fresh air and say good morning to my luscious hollyhock plants. All around a great morning. For a soundtrack birds are singing and/or cawing and/or crowing. The smell of new growth wafts about on the winds and conjures thoughts of flower gardens and spring. For taste I have a blueberry muffin; it smells good as well. Ah, and we are still a month away from the darling buds of May.

I prithee, accept mine humble salutation, gentle souls.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If empathy is a sin; sin boldly. --Submitted by gr of oh

You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish, O, for breath to utter what is like thee! You tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck. ₤ Thou leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch. Shakespeare Henry IV Part 1

..........They say “sing while you slave” but I just get bored.........Bob Dylan …..Maggie's Farm

Trivia Questions: Happy 231^st Birthday to the Louvre!

1. The museum is big! How many square feet or meters of exhibition space does it contain?

2. How many of the 9 categories of art are housed in the Louvre?

3. What do you know about the Glass Pyramid?

4. What percentage of the paintings in the Louvre are by French artists?

5. How many people visit the Louvre each year?

Big Hello: бирибиэт (biribiet) – Sakha (Russian) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I always love it when people say “baby steps!” to imply they're being tentative, when actually baby steps are a great unbalanced, wholehearted, enthusiastic lurch into the unknown. --Olivia Smith --Submitted by WWRWM

Image of the Week: Doot, doot, doot, lookin' out my backdoor.

Coffee Joke of the Week: Rise and Grind! It's Coffee Time!

Away, you three inch fool. ₤ Come, come, you froward and unable worms. --Shakespeare The Taming Of The Shrew

..........Livin' on money that I ain't made yet.........The Vogues …..Five O'clock World

Moonbeam: Life is supposed to be about making the path a little gentler for those traveling behind you. --Reba McEntire

Blasphemy of the Week: I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God. --Kabir

Aging Joke of the Week: I know I'm getting older but, please, stop introducing me as “Oh, this old thing”.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Who lacks sex speaks about sex, hungry talks about food, a person who has no money - about money, and our oligarchs and bankers talk about morality. --Sigmund Freud

Aroint thee, go away, rump-fed runion. ₤ Thou cream faced loon. --Shakespeare Macbeth

..........The money, the game and all the acclaim.........The Birds …..So You Want To Be A Rock And Roll Star

1) There is an impressive 782,910 square feet aka 72,735 square meters of exhibition space on four floors. This makes it one of the world's largest museums.

Almanac: It is Friday, March 28, 2025. The moon will be new tomorrow (3/29) and is in Aries. Today is Barnum & Bailey Day, Endometriosis March Day, National Triglycerides Day, National Respect Your Cat Day, and Weed Appreciation Day.

Among those born on this day were Raphael (1483 – the artist, not the turtle), Theresa of Avila (1515), George Ludwig (1660), Johann Andre (1741), Maxim Gorki (1868), Clara Lemlich (1886), Paul Whiteman (1890), Marlin Perkins (1905), A. Bertran Chandler (1912), Edmund S. Muskie (1914), Dirk Bogarde (1821), Marianne Fredriksson (1927), Ken Howard (1944), Dianne Wiest (1948), and Reba McEntire (1955).

On March twenty-eighth the Louvre opened to the public (1794), the first ambulance services opens for business (1866), Goddard first controlled his rocket with gyros (1935), the first national Curling Championship was held (1957), and Wilt Chamberlain played his last pro-basketball game (1972).

Night Sky, 3/28: Now that it's spring, have you met the Leo Triplet? 3 fine spiral galaxies magnitudes 9 to 10, fit into a 1° eyepiece view in the hind leg of leo. https://sky-tonight.com/object/constellation/Leo

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Fixing the hole … where the stuff gets out

This Week: Saturday, March 29 – Smoke and Mirrors Day & World Piano Day

Night Sky, 3/39: Partial Solar Eclipse – Visible in the north eastern US, Greenland, Iceland, and Europe... https://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/solar/2025-march-29

Sunday, March 30 – International Day of Zero Waste & Mothering Sunday & Pencil Day

Monday, March 31 – Bunsen Burner Day & Cesar Chavez Day & National Crayon Day

Tuesday, April 1 – All Fools Day & Library Snapshot Day & National Fun Day & St Stupid Day

Night Sky, 4/1: The 10% illuminated moon will be close to Uranus (mag 5.8). It will also be in conjunction with the Pleiades constellation. https://starwalk.space/en/news/astronomy-calendar-2025#astronomical-events-in-april-2025

Wednesday, April 2 – National Walking Day & Reconciliation Day & World Autism Day

Thursday, April 3 - Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day & Tweed Day

If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them. ₤ I am pigeon-liver'd and lack gall. --Shakespeare Hamlet

..........Lord, I'm tired. How long can this go on..........Leo Dorsey …..Working In A Coal Mine

2) The Louvre divides its art into the following categories: 1) Permanent Collection 2) Egyptian Antiquities 3) Near Eastern Antiquities 4) Greek, Etruscan, and Roman Antiquities 5) Islamic Art 6) Sculpture 7) Decorative Arts 8) Paintings 9) Prints and Drawings.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Book Burning Festival was called off because nobody had any. --Our Town Cartoons

Moonbeam: Make sure you're always giving, way more than you're taking. --Reba McEntire

Fun Facts of the Week: March 28, 1982: The first NCAA Women's Basketball Championship was held. Louisiana Tech beat Cheney 76-62.

Video of the Week: To Be or Not To Be – Unsolicited Advice with Benedict Cumberbatch, Judi Dench, Ian McKellen, David Tenant, Tim Minchin, Rory Kinnear, Paapa Essiedu, and King Charles III formerly known as Prince Charles. (1:10)

Every part of the journey is of importance to the whole. --Teresa of Avila

I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets. ₤ Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage. --Shakespeare As You Like It

..........All the livelong day.........Pete Seeger …..I've Been Working On The Railroad

3) The Glass Pyramid was designed by I M Pei and completed in 1989. It serves as the main entrance and covers 95,000 square feet (8,825 square meters).

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Ice skating is just walking in cursive. --Submitted by UUHS

Weird Word of the Week: Smaze – smoke and haze https://parade.com/1195613/marynliles/funny-words/

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove blood stains from fabrics. Smear Cheez Whiz over the blood stained clothes or sheets, let sit for five minutes, then toss in your regular wash. The enzymes in the Cheez Whiz clean the blood stains from fabrics. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cheezwhiz.html ~~But the question is: does it clean it well enough to get you through a murder investigation?

Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon. ₤ I'll beat thee, but I would infect my hands. --Shakespeare Timon of Athens

...........Drivin' that train, high on cocaine.........The Grateful Dead …..Casey Jones

4) 66% of the paintings are works by French Artists. Of all the 5,500 paintings by 1,400 artists it is believed that over 500 names are French by birth.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Can we make the Hair Mussolini** family businesses crash like tesla? Maybe the bank will repossess his hair. **One of Jimmy Kimmel's 75 Hilarious Nicknames ...

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Power On Con 2025 (28-30, Colorado Springs, CO) ...Jessica Steen and Tim Dunigah https://www.poweroncon.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 16^th Workshop on Breakdown Science and High Gradient Accelerator Technology (24-28, Mérida, Mexico) ...linear collider applications https://indico.fnal.gov/event/65159/

My Joke of the Week: Know who buys American? Putin.

You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe! ₤ You are as a candle, the better burnt out. --Shakespeare Henry IV Part 2

..........She died and was buried in dirt.........Dawn Landes …..The Housewife's Lament

5) Approximately 8.9 million people visit the museum each year.

Protest Sign of the Week: Childhood Vaccines Cause Adulthood

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Toto, I Don't Think We're In A Democracy Anymore

Quote of the Week: The inferiority of women is man-made. --Helen Keller

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My mind is like someone emptied the kitchen junk drawer onto a trampoline. --Submitted by HumorThought

Today's Peace of History: Today's Peace of History, March 28, 1799: The New York state legislature enacted a law mandating the gradual end of slavery. Children of slaves would not be emancipated until they had served their parent’s “holder” and reached their mid-twenties.

Thou lump of foul deformity. ₤ Thou are unfit for any place but hell. --Shakespeare Richard III

..........It's home from work we go.........The Seven Dwarfs …..Heigh Ho

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, March 28, 2025, wIll's ePistle 2025. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Again it's time to pray for peace. --Reba McEntire

Cost of War:

As of 03/27/25 State Department Costs: $261.183,218,722

As of 03/20/25 State Department Costs: $260,628,300,408

As of 03/27/25 Homeland Security: $1,195,405,957,996

As of 03/20/25 Homeland Security: $1,194,803,218,872

As of 03/27/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,288,615.546.487

As of 03/20/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,287,065,566,472

As of 03/27/25 Military Costs: $3,138,078,607,284

As of 03/20/25 Military Costs: $3,136,901,758,848

As of 03/27/25 Veterans Care: $4,193,298,608,405

As of 03/20/25 Veterans Care:$4,181,548,631,525

As of 03/27/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,076,584,432,630

As of 03/20/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,060,949,737,572

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

When our patterns are threatened by new facts, reason is seldom the victor. --Marianne Fredriksson

Famous Last Words: I want to go. God take me. -Dwight D Eisenhower who died March 28, 1969

.........I ain't working here no more.........Johnny Paycheck …..Take This Job And Shove It --Today's songs in honor of Laugh At Work Week (1-7)

Thy sin's not accidental, but a trade. --Measure for Measure ₤ Thy tongue out-venoms all the worms of Nile. --Cymbeline ₤ Heaven truly knows that thou are false as hell. --Othello ₤ Villain, I have done thy mother. --Titus Andronicus (Shakespeare)

May hourly Peace be still upon you

And a Flock of Joy light upon your back

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: