sPun ePistle II

Famous First Words: Captain Walker didn't come home. --The Who Overture Tommy

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Ξ Why was the blood pressure cuff so popular? It knew how to apply the right pressure. Ξ Every time I sit down at my spinning wheel, my partner says, “Don't make yourself dizzy.”

..........lots of laughs, lots of laughs.........Joni Mitchell …..Blue

Let us have love and more love; a love that melts all opposition, a love that conquers all foes, a love that sweeps away all barriers, a love that aboundeth in charity, a large-heartedness, tolerance, forgiveness and noble striving, a love that triumphs over all obstacles. --Abdu'l Bahá

It is a beautiful Friday morning. I have been to the doctor who says the problem in my ears may be a real infection now. So I just took a couple of antibiotics pills and an over the counter decongestant. Gee, I hope this does the trick.

Hope your weekend is dizzy-free, Clear Headed ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't fear aging. I fear stairs, small fonts, and low chairs. --Submitted by cmp of ks

What did the systolic say to the diastolic? I always come first. Ξ I thought my spinning was caused by an ear infection but the doctor said I have a dizzy-se.

..........I've come to talk to you again.........Simon & Garfunkel …..The Sound Of Silence

Trivia Questions: Happy World Turtle Day

1. How long have turtles been around?

2. What do turtles eat?

3. Turtles are amniotes, what does that mean?

4. How long was the lifespan of the oldest recorded turtle?

5. How many species of turtles are there?

Big Hello: Zdravo - Serbian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Earth has been officially recognized as the universe's leading producer of awkward social interactions. --Submitted by 42 Collective

Insult of the Week: If you will forgive me for being personal...I don't like your face. --Agatha Christie Murder On The Orient Express

The blood pressure monitor made an excellent detective because it could always tell when someone was under pressure. Ξ My brother spun me so fast on the merry-go-round that I couldn't return the favor. This is known as a first whirled problem.

..........I hope I die before I get old.........The Who …..My Generation

Moonbeam: What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind. What is the soul? It is immaterial. --Thomas Hood

Blasphemy of the Week: The dominant religion on the planet is not Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, or Judaism but the pervasive faith in violence. --Walter Wink

Request For Anyone Living in Lawrence: A large-ish tree limb has fallen into our front yard and we don't have a saw big enough to cut it up. I would like to put the pieces in the backyard as a woodpile as a recreational and/or habitat for the local wildlife. If someone has a saw we can borrow, we would be most grateful. There are people here who can do the sawing and the carrying. Thank you!!

Joke of the Week: When I drink too much coffee, people get dizzy just watching me.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Born to Dilly Dally; forced to fight fascists. --Hanna Oxford

My partner reminded me that the world doesn't revolve around me, I'm just dizzy. Ξ The bp monitor was a great actress because she always knew her lines and never choked under pressure.

..........It took me by surprise..........Marvin Gaye …...I Heard It Through The Grapevine

1) Turtles belong to one of the oldest reptile groups beating snakes, crocodiles, and alligators. They date back to the time of the dinosaurs, over 200 million years.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 23, 2025. The moon will be new next Wednesday (5/27) and is in Aries. The United Nations has declared this International Day to End Obstetric Fistula. Today is Don't Fry Day, National Polka Day, National Best Friend-in-Law Day, National Cooler Day, National Road Trip Day, National Taffy Day, National Title Track Day, and World Turtle Day.

Among those born on this day were Thomas Hood (1799), Edward Hitchcock (1828), 'Abdu'l-Baha (1844), Douglas Fairbanks (1883), Artie Shaw (1909), Barbara Ward (1914), Rosemary Clooney (1928), Robert Moog (1934), Marvelous Marvin Hagler (1954), Drew Carey (1961), and Jewel (Kilcher, 1974).

On May twenty-third Captain Kidd was hung (1701), the James gang robbed the Richmond, MO bank (1867), the Associated Press News Service formed (1900), the first "black" musical comedy opened (Shuffle Along, 1921), the first nylon was manufactured (1934), Winston Churchill resigned (1945), the first Cliff Notes were published (1953), and The Who released Tommy (1969).

Night Sky, 5/23: Bright Capella sets low in the northwest fairly soon after dark these evenings (depending on your latitude). That leaves Vega and Arcturus as the brightest stars in the evening sky. Vega shines in the east-northeast. Arcturus is very high toward the south. A third of the way from Arcturus down to Vega look for semicircular Corona Borealis, with 2nd-magnitude Alphecca as its one moderately bright star. Two thirds of the way from Arcturus to Vega is the dim Keystone of Hercules. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max & Ollie with some new books at Grandma's house.

This Week: Saturday, May 24 – Aviation Maintenance Technician Day & Brother's Day & Morse Code Day & National Learn To Swim Day

Sunday, May 25 – Indianapolis 500 Day & Plastic Free Day & National Tap Dance Day & Towel Day

Night Sky, 4/25: Can you see the big Coma Berenices star cluster? Does your light pollution really hide it, or do you just not know exactly where to look? It's 2/5 of the way from Denebola (Leo's tail tip) to the end of the Big Dipper's handle (Ursa Major's tail tip). Its brightest members form an inverted Y. The entire cluster is about 4° or 5° wide — a big, dim glow in a fairly dark sky. It nearly fills a binocular view.

Monday, May 26 – Memorial Day & Hamburger Day & National Paper Airplane Day & Prayer For Peace Memorial Day

Tuesday, May 27 – Cellophane Tape Day & Women's Golf Day

Wednesday, May 28 – Amnesty International Founders Day & National Brisket Day & Sierra Club Day & World Otter Day

Night Sky 5/28: Neptune, a mere 8th magnitude, lurks hidden in the dawn background of Saturn.

Thursday, May 29 – International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers & Learn About Composting Day & National Alligator Day

The only song my pb monitor ever plays is Queen's Under Pressure. Ξ I just read a biography of Vincent Van Gogh's aunt, Verti Gogh.

..........I only want to see you laughing.........Prince …..Purple Rain

2) What a turtle eats depends on the environment it lives in. Land dwelling turtles will munch on beetles, fruit, and grass, while sea dwellers will gobble everything from algae, to squid and jellyfish.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The same people who insist that every child say “with liberty and justice for all” every morning at school will put you in jail for insisting on it as an adult.

Moonbeam: I resolved that, like the sun, as long as my day lasted, I would look on the bright side of everything. --Thomas Hood

Fun Fact of the Week: Clifton Hillegass and his wife, Catherine, started Cliff Notes in their basement at 511 Eastridge Drive in Lincoln, NE with sixteen William Shakespeare titles. By the end of the year they had sold over 58,000 copies.

Video of the Week: From the revival of Shuffle Along (2:11) https://youtu.be/2cWflBv1q6E

The diversity in the human family should be the cause of love and harmony. As it is in music where many different notes blend together in the making of a perfect chard. --Abdu'l Bahá

Why did the bp cuff cross the road? To get to the other artery. Ξ I told my doctor that everytime I get up after sleeping, I feel dizzy for half an hour. My doctor told me to wait half an hour before I get up.

..........Nowhere to run, ain't got nowhere to go..........Bruce Springsteen …..Born In The USA

3) Turtles = Amniotes = breathe air and lay their eggs on land although many species live in or around the sea.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What I need...is a strong drink and a peer group. --Douglas Adams

Weird Word of the Week: Haptic /'hæptik/ sense of touch or tactile sensations. https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-hap1.html

Dragon of the Week: Submitted by vr of tl ~~I had a blurb about these dragons, but I lost it in a dizzy

fog.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make a bubble bath. Pour one capful of Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo under a running tap in the bathtub. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

The wizard with the poor sense of balance could only cast dizzy spells. Ξ My pb monitor went to the gym to pump up.

...........I'm beggin' you..........Dolly Parton …..Jolene

4) Turtles are cold-blooded creatures that have an incredibly long life span. The oldest ever recorded, named Tu'i Malila, of Tonga Island, passed away at the grand old age of 188.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I typed “WTF”, but it autocorrected to “Verily, I hath witnessed a spectacle so witless, my very soul hath packed its belongings and fled my body, as though reason itself hath tripped over a turnip and perished. --Submitted by gd of nm

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CoreCon 2025 (23-25, Fargo, ND) Halfoween https://www.fargocorecon.org/

Bright Idea of the Week: Loop, a Netherlands-based company, has created a “living coffin” made out of mushrooms. It decomposes your body within 3 years. The coffin also decomposes, leaving nothing behind. https://loop-biotech.com/living-cocoon/

Spark of Joy of the Week: May I love in ways that devastatingly disrupt organized state violence. --Gabes Torres

Pb cuffs don't generally like roller coasters, too many ups and downs. Ξ When Clark Kent got dizzy, they called him Stuporman.

..........We'd like to thank you once again..........The Beatles …..Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

5) Sadly, many species of turtle are endangered. 129 of approximately 300 species of turtles and tortoises on Earth today are either vulnerable, endangered, or critically endangered according to the IUCN. Threats include loss of habitat, pollution, poaching, and the illegal pet trade.

Protest Sign of the Week: Will Trade Marco Rubio For Abrego Garcia

Quote of the Week: I'm not young enough to know everything. --Oscar Wilde

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A good day to remember that the rules of the Earth system are determined by physics and biology and the rules of the economy are made up by a small group of self-interested people and could change.

Today's Peace of History: May 23, 1992: Belarus, Kazakhstan, and Ukraine, which had inherited strategic nuclear weapons from the Soviet Union, ratified the START I treaty and joined the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty as non-nuclear states. Through the Lisbon Protocol, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Russia, and Ukraine became parties to START I as legal successors to the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. The breakup of the Soviet Union delayed START's entry into force nearly three-and-a-half years.

I had to take the batteries out of my radon detection machine. The beeping was making me dizzy. Ξ When I told my doctor, Helga, I was feeling dizzy, she asked if I had vertigo. But I told her I only lived around the corner.

..........I'll be sitting when the evening comes.........Otis Redding …..Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 23, 2025, sPun ePistle II. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: To attempt to advise conceited people is like whistling against the wind. --Thomas Hood

Cost of War:

As of 05/22/25 State Department Costs: $265,623,483,660

As of 05/15/25 State Department Costs: $265,082,023,227

As of 05/22/25 Homeland Security: $1,200,229,066,138

As of 05/15/25 Homeland Security: $1,199,640,886,387

As of 05/22/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,301,017,774,002

As of 05/15/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,299,505,296,073

As of 05/22/25 Military Costs: $3,147,495,183,839

As of 05/15/25 Military Costs: $3,146,346,757,584

As of 05/22/25 Veterans Care:$4,287,310,901,403

As of 05/15/25 Veterans Care: $4,275,847,546,832

As of 05/22/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,201,580,117,054

As of 05/15/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,186,426,191,563

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame in the heart that is cold. Love brings home to the hopeless and gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful. In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the power of love. --Abdu'l Bahá

Famous Last Words: Raise me up a little bit. --John D Rockefeller who died 5/23/37

..........You know you can't hold me forever..........Elton John …..Goodbye Yellow Brick Road In honor of Title Track Day all our songs are great title tracks.

My pb machine had to go to therapy because it couldn't handle the pressure. Ξ Did you hear about the dizzy marsupial? It was a wobbly wallaby.

May Peace keep you joyful

And Joy keep you peaceful

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

hOme sPun ePistle

 Famous First Words: He's coming. Chorus Annie Get Your Gun

In Honor of the O'Henry Pun Off, which was held last weekend in Austin, Tx, here are some Other and some Henry puns. I'm currently reading a book about the life of Henry Ford. It's an auto biography. Õ Did you hear? Henry Winkler was arrested for financial fraud. He was running a Fonzi Scheme.

The real reason that we can't have the ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal”, “Thou shalt not commit adultrey”, and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment. --George Carlin

..........You want to make love to the scene..........Velvet Underground …..European Sun (for Delmore Schwartz)

Work is about a search for daily meaning as well as daily bread, for recognition as well as cash, for astonishment rather than torpor; in short, for a sort of life rather than a Monday through Friday sort of dying. --Studs Terkel

Yesterday (Thursday, 5/15) I was sick – dizzy every time I moved my head and vomiting even though I hadn't eaten anything. Thursdays are when I proof the ePistle. Today I am still dizzy but haven't thrown up yet. I have tried to proof, but still apologise for the mess.

Have a grape day, Punsters

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's not really my thing but “Good Morning” to everyone who celebrates it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1600248646916288/

Henry Churches is a good musician. Google Translate: Enrique Iglesias es un buen músico. Õ The most famous car maker from Norway is Henry Fjord.

Instead of Air Force One, let's call it Exhibit A.

.........Telling my whole life with his words..........Roberta Flack …..Killing Me Softly (for Don McLean)

Trivia Questions: Happy 106^th Birthday to Liberace

1. What was Liberace's given name?

2. When did Liberace begin piano lessons?

3. How did Liberace describe his music style?

4. What part did Liberace play on Batman (1966)?

5. What bathroom item did Liberace invent?

Big Hello: Halò – Scottish Gaelic https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When I worked in the academic advising department at UCA I never thought the answer to the question, “What can I do with a math major”, would be, “become pope” --Submitted by sb of ar

Image of the Week: Happy Morel Mushroom Day

Insult of the Week: He would make a lovely corpse. --Charles Dickens The Life & Adventures of Martin Chuzzlewit

One of my ancestors was hired by Henry VIII to teach his son the trumpet. He was a Tudor tooter tutor. Õ I have a friend named Henry the fourth. Unfortunately, we call him HIV.

If my name was David and I had a boy, I would have to name him Harley. That way he could introduce himself as Harley David's son.

..........Didn't you love the things that they stood for.........Dion DeMucci …..Abraham, Martin, & John (Lincoln, King, & Kennedy)

Moonbeam: I speak on due consideration because Britain, France, and Mexico have abolished slavery, and all other European states are preparing to abolish it as speedily as they can. --William H Seward

Blasphemy of the Week: If I am right, then (religious fundamentalists) will not go to Heaven, because there is no Heaven. If they are right, then they will not go to Heaven, because they are hypocrites. --Isaac Asimov

Coffee Joke of the Week: Coffee: the most important meal of the day.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you could have sex with any famous celebrities dead or alive which one would it be? Alive!

Henry VIII's second wife never came into a room quickly. She'd just Anne Boleyn. Õ Mindy, did you put the cat out? No, Henry, was she on fire?

Real quick, what is the tariff on $400M Qatar jet?

..........Nunc et in hora mortis..........Franz Shubert …..Ave Maria (Virgin Mary)

1) Mr Showmanship was born Wladziu Valentino Liberace in Wisconsin.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 15, 2025. The moon will enter the first quarter next Tuesday (5/20) and is in Capricorn. Today is Biographer's Day, Endangered Species Day, Honor Our LGBT Elders Day, International Day of Living in Peace, International Virtual Assistants Day, Morel Mushroom Day, NASCAR Day, National BBQ Day, National Bike to Work Day, National Piercing Day, National Pizza Party Day, National Sea Monkey Day, and World Eel Day.

Among those who were born on this day are William Henry Seward (1801), Eduard Hille (1822), Lily Pons (1904), Henry Fonda (1905), Studs Terkel (1912), Liberace (1919), Harry Carey Jr. (1921), Billy Martin (1928), Sputnik Spooner (1949), Pierce Brosnan (1952), and Debra Winger (1955).

On May sixteenth Mary, Queen of Scotland, fled to England (1568), Samuel Johson met James Boswell (1763), Marie Antoinette married Louis XVI (1770), Mississippi River steamboat service began (1817), Kentucky proclaimed neutrality (1861), the US Bureau of Mines was formed (1910), Joan of Arc was canonized (1920), Food stamps were first issued (1939), Annie Get Your Gun premiered (1946), Spaghetti-Os went on the market (1965), National Welfare Rights Organization began (1966), Junko Tabei became the first woman to reach the Mt, Everest summit (1975), Michael Jordan was named Rookie of the Year (1985), and the Endeavor makes its maiden voyage (1992).

Night Sky, 5/16: Vega is the brightest star in the east-northeast after dark. Look 15° (about a fist and a half at arm's length) upper left of Vega for Eltanin, the 2nd-magnitude nose of Draco the Dragon. Closer above and upper left of Eltanin are the three fainter stars that form the rest of Draco's stick-figure head, also called the Lozenge. Draco always points his nose to Vega, no matter how he's oriented. Dragons do have a thing for jewels. The faintest star of Draco's head, opposite Eltanin, is Nu Draconis. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Jurassic Park Adventure

This Week: Saturday, May 17 – Do Dah Day & National Auctioneers Day & The Preakness & World Fiddle Day

Sunday, May 18 – Buy A Musical Instrument Day & International Museum Day & Neighbor Day

Night Sky, 5/18: This is the time of year when Leo the Lion starts walking downward toward the west, on his way to departing into the sunset in early summer. Right after dark, spot the brightest star fairly high in the west-southwest. That's Regulus, his forefoot.

Monday, May 19 – Accounting Day & May Ray Day & Victoria Day

Tuesday, May 20 – Blue Jeans Day & National Streaming Day & Weights and Measures Day & World Bee Day

Wednesday, May 21 – Emergency Medical Services Day & National Memo Day & Turn Beauty Inside Out Day

Night Sky, 5/21: Mars (magnitude +1.1, in Cancer) glows high in the southwest in the evening. It's the orange dot about 1½ or 2 fist-widths upper left of Pollux and Castor, which are similar to it at magnitudes +1.1 and +1.6, respectively. Now that Mars and Pollux are the same brightness, it's an ideal time to compare their colors. Mars is more strongly tinted than pale yellow-orange Pollux, a type G8 giant star. Farther below Mars shines Procyon, magnitude +0.4.

Thursday, May 22 – Harvey Milk Day & National Maritime Day & World Goth Day

Henry V's greatest military achievement was capturing Harfleur with a single marshmallow. One s'more unto the breach, dear friends, one s'more. Õ Tiff Wimberly, who introduced herself as meteorologist Dorothy Gale, announcing "the forecast for Oztin calls for mostly punny with a chance of Blunder."

Let's sell the plane and use the cash to buy girls more dolls.

..........Nursing is an art, my friend..........English Kids Song …..Lady With The Lamp (Florence Nightingale)

2) Liberace began playing piano when he was 3 years old and soon learned to play by ear. At the age of 7 he was enrolled at the Wisconsin College of Music.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The new pope has a degree in mathematics from Villanova University. This guy doesn't just understand sin. He understands cos. --Submitted by High Church Coyote

Moonbeam: Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of something bad. --Harry Caray

Fun Fact of the Week: Cats On A Couch is a facebook page whose sole purpose in existing is to have more followers than JD Vance. It has cat gifs, jokes, cutenesses, etc. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61563851558687&sk=reels_tab

Video of the Week: Ethyl Merman singing You Can't Get A Man With A Gun (3:12) https://youtu.be/EslXq-O2moM

Hope never trickles down. It always springs up. --Studs Terkel

If we invade Canada, I'm on Canada's side.

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VII have in common? Same middle name. Õ Dad: Remember Henry Jones who lived on Gordon Avenue. Me: No, but I remember Gordon Johnson who lived on Henry Avenue.

..........Hollywood created a superstar..........Elton John …..Candle in the Wind (Marilyn Monroe & Princess Diana)

3) Liberace described his songs as classical music without all the boring parts.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you've never questioned your life choices while holding a cup of cold tea and staring into the abyss, are you really living? --Submitted by 42 Collective

Sports Pun of the Week: Every horse in the 2025 Kentucky Derby traces back to Secretariat. This is a clear case of Neighpotism.

Weird Word of the Week: Gelotologist: specialist in gelotology, the study of humor, laughter, and the exercising of the gelastic muscles, a deeply serious exploration of what happens to our bodies when we're exposed to humor. https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-gel1.html

Dragon of the Week: Vritra, Hindu Serpent

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Hand wash lingerie. Mix one teaspoon Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo in a sink filled with warm water, let the lingerie soak in the sudsy solution for five minutes, and rinse clean without wringing the items. Lay the lingerie on a white towel, roll up the towel to absorb excess moisture, and then hand up the lingerie to drip dry. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

I can't believe people are comparing Donny Nappleseed* to Satan. Yes, he's evil, but he's certainly not as evil as Greedy McGolfy* --Ice T

*Name replaced by one of Jimmy Kimmel's 78 nicknames for #47.

Henry the sixth was a VIKing. Õ A charcuterie spread with the meat in the shape of a peace sign is called Salaami.

...........You never combed your hair..........Elis Paul …..Albert Einstein

4) After his variety television show (called the Liberace Show) aired, he appeared on 2 episodes of Batman. He portrayed a concert pianist and his evil twin.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: All the brains in the world are powerless against the sort of stupidity that is in fashion. --Jean de La Fontaine

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: ICCCon Part VII 2025 (16-18, Nashville, TN) Welcome to the Future of Conventions https://iccollectorsconvention.com/

Spark of Joy of the Week: Jon Stewart's Ok or Not Ok Chart. https://thesarkariform.com/jon-stewarts-new-method-to-expose-trumps-endless-nonsense/ (you have to scroll down to the video) (2:22)

It is impossible to starve children to death in self defense.

Why is it called primal scream instead of scream of consciousness? Õ I dress as a road every Halloween; it's my all tar ego. Õ There are two species of palm trees that are symbionts, or you could say they're fronds with benefits.

..........I can do better..........Irving Berlin …..Anything You Can Do (Annie Oakley)

5) Liberace designed a retracting toilet that folded into the wall of a bathroom. “There's just no reason why you should walk into a bathroom and see a toilet. It's unglamorous.”

Protest Sign of the Week: Just Say No

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Without Immigrants Trump Would Have No Wives

Quote of the Week: Thank you, Pope Francis. --Pope Leon XIV

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: America now has both the pope and the antichrist. @sadmhounsters --Submitted by MMS

Today's Peace of History: May 16, 1792: Denmark became the first country to outlaw the slave trade.

Earth's application to the Galactic Federation was rejected again. Reason: Excessive reality TV.

Did Jimi Hendrix come from the Great Rift Valley: 'Cause he sure can play that guitar. Õ You can dissolve more ramen flavor packets in hot water than cold water. It's called soupersaturation.

..........Working cheap and biding time.........The Eagles …..Doolin Dalton (Bill Doolin, Bill Dalton & the Wild Bunch)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 16, 2025, hOme sPun ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: There is nothing new except what has been forgotten. --Marie Antoinette

Cost of War:

As of 05/15/25 State Department Costs: $265,082,023,227

As of 05/08/25 State Department Costs: $264,521,078,217

As of 05/15/25 Homeland Security: $1,199,640,886,387

As of 05/08/25 Homeland Security: $1,199,031,549,713

As of 05/15/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,299,505,296,073

As of 05/08/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,297,938,376,92

As of 05/15/25 Military Costs: $3,146,346,757,584

As of 05/08/25 Military Costs: $3,145,156,986,265

As of 05/15/25 Veterans Care: $4,275,847,546,832

As of 05/08/25 Veterans Care:$4,263,966,336,497

As of 05/15/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,186,426,191,563

As of 05/08/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,170,615,810,731

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

We are living in the United States of Alzheimer's. A whole country has lost its memory. When it can't remember yesterday, a country forgets what it once wanted to be. --Studs Terkel

Famous Last Words: Jesus --Joan of Arc Burned at the stake May 30, 1431

..........Andy, are you goofing on Elvis...........R.E.M. …..Man On The Moon (Andy Kaufman) Happy Biographers Day

To be called “woke” in a world that sleeps through suffering is not an insult, it's the gospel. --Pope Leon XIV

Genghis Khan was such an effective warlord because ws always one steppe ahead of the enemy. Õ The library's Audio Books collection is cataloged in the Dewey Decibel System.

May your Peace be inner and outer

And your joy be a font

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

mOm's ePistle

Famous First Words: Whereas, By a joint proclamation... Wilson's Declaration creating Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day. It's not easy being a mom. It if was easy, fathers would do it. --Betty White Ӫ Today we honor cooks, nurses, chauffeurs, counselors, teachers, aids, and referees. In other words...moms.

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: If you're going to make a parachute jump, how high should you be? Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Submitted by jo of ks

..........It's time ole Hank paid his due.........Hank Snow …..Breakfast With The Blues

There is no separation. We are all from the same place. As long as there is respect and acknowledgement of connection things continue working. When that stops we all die. --Joy Harjo

It is a gorgeous (59°F) Friday morning. The sun is shining in an azure sky with no clouds. There is no wind to speak of and even the willow branches have switched to slow dancing. Foliage is green and growing; my hollyhock leaves are the size of Sally Rand's fans. The resident bunny rabbit is no longer hidden against the brown grass, but is quite visible munching away at the green lawn. Birds are chattering about their day. Puck stayed a while outside before returning for his early morning nap which is accompanied by tiny snorts. Veronica put in an appearance and disappeared. I lit up a cone of incense to add a bit of fragrance to the room. Now I sip my cup of toasted almond decaf. All in all a great day to write to you.

Hope your weekend is full and fine, children – new and old

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The universal language is not math. It's the exaggerated shrug. --Submitted by 42 Collective

Motherhood Inc, Human Resources: One vacation day a year? That's all I get? We call it Mother's Day but technically you still have to work. Ӫ If you want your children to call you on Mother's Day, try posting something embarrassing about them on instagram. ₿ Usually, the triumph of my day is, you know, everybody making it to the potty. --Julia Roberts

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: Do female frogs croak? Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

..........I've breathed the mountain, air, man.........Hank Snow …..I've Been Everywhere

Trivia Questions: Happy Alphabet Magnet Day!

1) Why were alphabet magnets invented?

2) Who invented them?

3) When were alphabet magnets first sold to the public?

4) Can you wash alphabet magnets?

5) In what year was the Alphabet Magnet Day first celebrated?

Big Hello: Bona die – Sardinian (Logudorese) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When the horse comes back into town without the rider, you know something bad happened. But no one ever suspects the horse. --Bob Pease

Image of the Week: Puck: Morning Nap With Blanket

Insult of the Week: If I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on. --Mark Twain The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

What do I wanna do for Mother's Day? Well, something with the kids, for sure and then for the love of God something alone, please. Ӫ Stripped of her youth, her energy, her money, she quietly reflects on the joys of motherhood. ₿ Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I'm looking forward to investigating in the future. --Amy Poehler

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

..........You were flyin' too high for my little old sky.........Hank Snow …..I'm Movin' On

Moonbeam: The path to paradise begins in hell. --Dante Alighieri

Blasphemy of the Week: When God looks down and sees how we're acting, does He say “Medamnit!”?https://www.facebook.com/PatheticHilarious

Coffee Joke of the Week: I made my coffee with Red Bull this morning. Then I left for work and 15 minutes later, I realized I forgot the car.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Guide was recently updated to include: “If confused, nap.” --Submitted by 42 Collective

I'm sorry about all those dumb little things I did when I was a kid. Just be thankful you only know about half of them Ӫ When my children told me they were going to make breakfast for me on Mother's Day, we conducted an impromptu course on using the fire extinguisher. ₿ The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kids didn't finish. --Carrie Underwood

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a strange man at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

..........Everybody look what's going down.........Buffalo Springfield with Richie Furay …..For What It's Worth

1) Although traditionally, we might think of a magnet letter as a children's toy, the first known magnet letters were actually created for the space industry. NASA needed magnetic letters and numbers for charting and tracking inside spacecraft.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 9, 2025. The moon will be full (Flower) on Monday (5/12) and it is in Libra. Today is Alphabet Magnet Day, Europe Day, Home Front Heroes Day, National Moscato Day, and National Sleepover Day. Because it's the second Friday it is also Fintastic Friday: Giving Sharks a Voice. And because it is the Friday before Mother's Day it is Child Care Provider Day, Military Spouse Appreciation Day, National Public Gardens Day, and National Provider Appreciation Day.

Among those born on this day were Dante Alighieri (1265), Abraham van Diepenbeeck (1675), Giovanni Paisiello (1740), Gaspard Monge (1746), James Pollard Espy (1785), John Brown (1800), J M Barrie (1860), Howard Carter (1874), (Clarence) Hank Snow (1914), Mike Wallace (1918), Daniel Berrigan (1921), Glenda Jackson (1936), Richie Furay (1944), Billy Joel (1949), Joy Harjo (1951), and John Corbett (1962).

On May ninth the Treaty of Windsor was ratified (Portugal & England, 1386), Columbus left Cadiz on this final trip (1502), the first newspaper political cartoon was published (1754), the American Civil War ended (1865), FYI: the North won), President Wilson proclaimed the first Mother's Day (1914), the world's first Eye Bank opened in NYC (1944), Hermann Goering was captured by US (1945), Peace Settlement (Philippines & Japan, 1956), and the final episode of Golden Girls aired (NBC, 1992).

Night Sky, 5/9: Three zero-magnitude stars shine after dark in May: Arcturus high in the southeast, Vega much lower in the northeast, and Capella in the northwest. They appear so bright because each is at least 60 times as luminous as the Sun and because they're all relatively nearby: 37, 25, and 42 light-years from us, respectively. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: They're at it again. 5/3/25 I Poulsbo, WA

This Week: Saturday, May 10 – Clean Your Room Day & Letter Carriers Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive Day

Sunday, May 11 – Eat What You Want Day & Mother's Day & Mother's At The Wall Day

Night Sky, 5/11: What is the oldest thing you have ever seen? For everyone in the world it's at least the Sun and other objects of the solar system; Earth is 4.6 billion years old. (Everything on or just under Earth's surface is much younger.) Next is Arcturus, which most people have surely seen whether they know it or not, since it's one of the brightest stars in the sky. It's a Population II orange giant, which is about 7 billion years old, just passing through our region of the Milky Way.

Monday, May 12 – Buddha Day & Day of Vesak (May Full Moon) & Limerick Day & Odometer Day

Tuesday, May 13 – American Indian Day & Indigenous Arts Day & World Cocktail Day

Wednesday, May 14 – National Chicken Dance Day & National Night Shift/Third Shift Workers Day & Underground America Day

Night Sky, 5/14: Uranus is lost in the sunset. Neptune, a mere 8th magnitude, lurks hidden in the dawn in the background of Venus and Saturn.

Thursday, May 15 – Straw Hat Day & Nylon Stockings Day & Peace Officer Memorial Day & Lag B'Omer

There is a legend that if you're taking a bath and scream out loud “Mom” three times, a nice lady appears bringing you the towel you forgot. Ӫ The week before Mother's Day my optometrist offers free exam for eyes in the back of your head. ₿ I always say if your aren't yelling at your kinds, you're not spending enough time with them. --Reese Witherspoon

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you grow older? Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

..........We are only what we feel.........Buffalo Springfield with Richie Furay …..On The Way Home

2) Sam Hardcastle invented the fully magnetic, flexible letters and numbers that became the first rendition of alphabet magnets and space ship aids.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Happy Mother's Day to all the teachers accidentally called Mom once. --Submitted by High Church Coyote

Moonbeam: I cannot remember a night so dark as to have hindered the coming day. --John Brown

Fun Fact of the Week: The Treaty of Windsor is a diplomatic alliance signed between Portugal and England on 9 May 1386 in Windsor and sealed by the marriage of King John I of Portugal to Philippa of Lancaster, daughter of John of Gaunt, 1st Duke of Lancaster.

Video of the Week: Obituary for Father Daniel Berrigan (:20) https://youtu.be/WnVFOZ7WP9E

True power does not amass through the pain and suffering of others. --Joy Harjo

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

Never ask Batman what he's doing for Mother's Day. Ӫ Dear Mom, I was gonna give you an all expense paid, first-class trip to Hawaii for Mother's Day. But I knew how much you'd miss me, and I just couldn't put you through that kind of agony. ₿ The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. --Calvin Trillin

..........In time, you know my melody will haunt you.........Poco with Richie Furay …..You Better Think Twice

3) On May 9, 1972, Fisher-Price released a toy known as School Desk Days, which included the colorful, hard plastic magnetic numbers and letters. Later in the 70s they began to sell and market their Magnetic Alphabet toy separately.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I knocked over a plant in the kitchen and my cat saw me...So I had to spray myself with water to prove the law applies to everyone. https://www.facebook.com/churchmouseuk

Weird Word of the Week: Fewmet (also fewmishings) excrement or droppings from an animal hunted for game. https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-few1.html

Dragon of the Week: Quetzalcoatl

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean hairspray build-up from a curling iron. Use a damp, soft clean cloth to rub a few drops of Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo on a cool, unplugged curling iron. Rinse clean and dry. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

My kids gave me a blanket for Mother's Day because I'm such a cool mom. Ӫ Cleaning with children in the house is like brushing your teeth with Oreos. ₿ Become a mom to mean means you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse. --Nia Vardalos

...........Tonight I'm gonna break away.........Poco with Richie Furay …..Crazy Love

4) To clean a magnet, you can wipe it with a clean cloth and warm, soapy water.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: For too long, we've all suffered the bizarre and oppressive policies I installed last week. --H Lin

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: I couldn't find a single Sci-Fi convention being held this weekend. I think this shows my lack of researching skills and not the state of fandom. So here's a actual science Convention instead: International Conference on Public Health and Epidemiology 9, NYC) https://www.allconferencealert.com/event/1501536

Spark of Joy of the Week: Best Penguin Moments Video (3:00) https://youtu.be/n_J3VpZbYzI

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at a nudist camp. One is politics, what is the other? Paul Lynde: Tape measures

“It's spicy” is universal-mom-speak for “I don't want to share”. Ӫ Mums are always the best flower for Mother's Day. ₿ When my kids become wild and unruly, Iuse a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. --Erma Bombeck

..........Well, we're all in the mood for a melody.........Billy Joel …..Piano Man

(* In 2017 The Type Set Co founded Alphabet Magnet Day.

Protest Sign of the Week: I'm So Angry I Made A Sign

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Worst 100 Days Of My 82 Years. --Submitted by Feminist News

Quote of the Week: Ann Coulter said: “Would it be possible to have a cabinet meeting without the Kim Jong il-style tributes?” I could list a hundred reasons I despise Trump, but agreeing with Ann Coulter definitely cracks the top ten. https://www.facebook.com/reallyamerican

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I guess I'm going to have to bequeath this Equal Pay For Women sign to my granddaughter.

People from Chicago usually hate the Cardinals!

Today's Peace of History: May 9, 1967: In April, World Heavyweight Boxing Champion Muhammad Ali had refused induction into the U.S. Army based on his religious convictions. He claimed, "I ain't got no quarrel with those Vietcong." On this day, following his indictment by 24 hours, he was stripped of his title and his license to fight by the World Boxing Association.

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: In bowling, what's a perfect score? Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy

Motherhood is like a reverse fairy tale. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people. Ӫ I hate it when I waiting for mom to fix supper and I realize I'm mom. ₿ My mother's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. --Buddy Hackett

..........She's ahead of her time.........Billy Joel …..She's Always A Woman

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 9, 2025, Mom's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves. --James M Barrie

Cost of War:

As of 05/08/25 State Department Costs: $264,521,078,217

As of 05/01/25 State Department Costs: $263,957,863,358

As of 05/08/25 Homeland Security: $1,199,031,549,713

As of 05/01/25 Homeland Security: $1,198,430,706,392

As of 05/08/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,297,938,376,924

As of 05/01/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,296,393,325,364

As of 05/08/25 Military Costs: $3,145,156,986,265

As of 05/01/25 Military Costs: $3,143,983,936,719

As of 05/08/25 Veterans Care:$4,263,966,336,497

As of 05/01/25 Veterans Care: $4,252,254,046,719

As of 05/08/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,170,615,810,731

As of 05/01/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,155,033,128,384

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Bless the poets, the workers for justice, the dancers of ceremony, the singers of heartache, the visionaries, all makers and carriers of fresh meaning – We will all make it through, despite politics and wars, despite failures and misunderstandings. There is only love. --Joy Harjo

Famous Last Words: The love which moves the sun and the other stars. --Dante The Divine Comedy

..........They built you a temple and locked you away.........Billy Joel …..Only The Good Die Young

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: Why do Hell's Angels wear leather? Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Beware! There are at least five species that eat their young. Your mom could be one of them. Ӫ If evolution really works how come mothers only have two hands. --Milton Berle

May Peace provide comfort

And Joy supply companionship

prairie mama

christine

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