rUsset ePistle

Famous First Words: In the Name of the Most Holy and Undivided Trinity... First Treaty of Paris 1814

It is the International Day of the Potato. Polly Potato was always reluctant to participate with the other potatoes; she's known as a hesi-tater. Ō I am too in shape. It's the shape of a potato.

Today is Heat Awareness Day. It's so hot my cigarette just lit itself.

Hippie Love: Make Love Not War

..........The rain will bring the violets of May.........Benny Goodman …..Don't Be That Way

Where there is no justice, there is no liberty. --Marcus Tullius Cicero

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. There is not a cloud in the sky which is as blue as sapphire. The 56°F temperature is cool and refreshing like the morning dew with no hint of cold or rain. A bird choir is singing in the backyard trees. I think I hear three different species' songs, but I could be wrong. The world still smells of yesterday's rain and of growth and spring. The rabbit that lives under the shed skitters back home when Puck comes out to do his morning business. Puck doesn't notice her, but I am pleased that she did not need to hide from me. I check on the sunflowers (they're growing apace) and notice that the hollyhocks are nearly ready to open their tight little buds. I toss my dizzy free head around and return to my room for creamy, sweet decaf and a Dillons donut. What a morning, and it's not even 8 yet.

Have a meat and potatoes weekend, Tater Tots.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Entropy is the natural state of the Universe. Order is temporary and must be coerced. All things yearn to return to Chaos. So no, I'm not going to put my laundry away.

Health Update of the Week: I took my last antibiotic pill on Tuesday and on Wednesday I had NO dizziness. I'm back.

Peter Potato was sent to the Psych Ward because he was starch raving mad. Ō My mother is an Idaho potato; talk about eyes in the back of your head.

It's so hot I saw a bee take off its yellow jacket.

Hippie Love: Love Makes Your Soul Crawl Out Of Its Hiding Place. --Zora Neale Hurston

..........That lovely month when everyone goes blissfully astray.........Vanessa Redgrave …..The Lusty Month of May

Trivia Questions: Happy 136^th Birthday to the Modern Brassiere!

1. Which civilization made the very first known women's breast support garments?

2. Where did the name brassiere come from?

3. When did brassieres acquire cup sizes?

4. When did the sports bra appear?

5. What was the brassiere industry in the US worth in 2024?

Big Hello: Lumela – Serrano (Uto-Aztecan, Southern California) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Balloons are so weird. Happy Birthday, here's a plastic sack of my breath. --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Insult of the Week: Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have. --J K Rowling Order of the Phoenix

Paula Potato just introduced a line of potato pajamas called Yammies. Ō Potatoes give us chips, fries, and vodka. And I planted carrots. Ō The difference between a baby and a baked potato is about 140 calories.

It's so hot Global Warming was like “Damn, it's hot out there”.

Hippie Love: Life is the flower for which love is the honey. --Victor Hugo

..........Some days in a daze.........Michael Bublé …..End of May

Moonbeam: Destiny may ride with us today, but there is no reason for it to interfere with lunch. --Tsar Peter (the great)

Blasphemy of the Week: It is easier for a removable bra cup to be inserted through the tiny hole and placed in the correct shape than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. --Submitted by MMS

Coffee Joke of the Week: Coffee: Because a good day never starts with a kale smoothie.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Do UK websites use biscuits instead of cookies?

If by crunches you mean the sound potato chips make when you eat them, then yes, I do crunches. Ō I bought a bag of Irish potatoes. When I got up in the night to get a drink of water I found them all doing Kerry sets.

It's so hot Superman took a cab.

Hippie Love: We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end. --Benjamin Disraeli

..........Oh, sweet surrender, now.........Robert Plant …..The May Queen

1) Crete is accredited with not only the first corset, but also the first bra. In fact, they were wearing bras hundreds of years before the rest of us. Funny thing is that Grecian women wore bras and corsets that supported yet exposed their breasts.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 30, 2025. The moon was new last Tuesday (5/27) and is in Cancer. Today is Heat Awareness Day, International Day of the Potato, Loomis Day, National Creativity Day, World Multiple Sclerosis Day, and Traditional Memorial Day.

Among those born on this day were Tsar Alexander I (1220), Tsar Peter (the great, 1672), Alfred Austin (1835), Louis Varney (1844), Cornelia Otis Skinner (1901), Stepin Fetchit (Lincoln Theodore Monroe Andrew Perry, 1902), Mel Blanc (1908), Benny Goodman (1909), Gale Sayers (1943), and Wynonna Judd (1964).

On May thirtieth the first Treaty of Paris was signed (1814), Memorial Day was first observed (1868), the modern brassiere was invented (1889), the National Conference on the Negro was held (1909), Albania was formed (1913), and the Lincoln Memorial was dedicated (1922).

Night Sky, 5/30: The Big Dipper floats high in the northwest these evenings. The middle star of its bent handle is Mizar, with tiny Alcor right next to it. On which side of Mizar should you look for Alcor? As always, on the side toward Vega. Which is now the brightest star in the east. Titan casts its shadow on Saturn tonight! Only every 15 years does Titan, Saturn's largest moon, cross Saturn's face from Earth's viewpoint and, more visibly, cast its tiny black shadow onto Saturn. The latest series of these events has begun. They will happen every 16 days from now to October. Tonight Titan's shadow crosses Saturn's face from 9:05 UT to 14:53 UT May 31st; that's from 5:05 a.m. to 10:53 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time May 31st; 2:05 to 7:53 a.m. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

    

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max as a 30s guy at a Decades party and Ollie in a dragon hat.

This Week: Saturday, May 31 – National Smile Day & World No-Tobacco Day & World Parrot Day

Sunday, June 1 – National Game Show Day & National Olive Day & Say Something Nice Day & Milk Day

Night Sky 6/1: Now the Moon leaves Mars behind to get chummier with Regulus, shining only about 1° from it (depending on your location). But at a distance of 79 light-years, Regulus is 1.9 billion times farther from us than the Moon is. A scale model: If the Moon was just a foot from your eye like on a screen, Regulus would be 360,000 miles in the background — a nuclear fireball at about the Moon's actual distance from us!

Monday, June 2 – Leave The Office Early Day & National Thank God It's MonDay & National Gun Violence Awareness Day

Extra Funniest Bit of the Week: You're the she to my nanigans. https://www.facebook.com/our.YoreMomm

Tuesday, June 3 – Bike Travel Day & National Egg Day & Wonder Woman Day

Wednesday, June 4 – Audacity To Hope Day & Hug Your Cat Day & Old Maid's Day

Night Sky, 6/4: Jupiter (magnitude –1.9) is on the way out. As twilight fades, look for it very low in the northwest, lower every day.

Thursday, June 5 – Festival of Popular Delusions Day & Hot Air Balloon Day & World Environment Day

Peter Potato had to get glasses. Now he's a spectator. Ō Lazy joeys are called pouch potatoes. Ō Patsy grows potato cubes; She calls them square roots. Ō The most powerful potato in the universe is Darth Tater.

It's so hot every time I try to speak, all that comes out is a Tennessee Williams monologue.

Hippie Love: The first duty of love is to listen. --Paul tillich

..........Made all the stars around them shine...........Blue Rodeo …..Five Days In May

2) The term “brassiere” was first used in Vogue in 1907. This means “support” which is what a bra is used for – to support our breasts. From there, it was shortened to the “bra” as we know it today. Early bras were also known as “bust bodices” or “Bbs” in the early 1900s.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Accept the good in your life. Like me. I'm a f*cking delight.

Moonbeam: I don't care to be remembered as the man who scored six touchdowns in a game. I want to be remembered as a winner in life. --Gale Sayers

Fun Facts of the Week: Gale Sayers had a career total of 4,956 rushing yards, 39 rushing touchdowns, and 112 receptions for 1,307 receiving yards and 9 receiving touchdowns. He also recorded 3,172 return yards and 8 return touchdowns during his time in the NFL. He played for KU during his college years.

Video of the Week: Stepin Fetchit in Miracle in Harlem (1948) (:40) https://youtu.be/KnTb-kJVDww

Equal justice under law is not just a caption on the facade of the Supreme Court Building, it is perhaps the most inspiring ideal of our society. --Warren E Burger

Hippie Love: To turn all the treasures we possess into the channel of universal love becomes the business of our lives. --John Woolman

It's so hot I realized Dune was a training manual.

Parker Potato was a famous labor union organizer. He was a member of the IWW and was a great agi-tater. Ō Christy Crisp was always making fun of her friends. She was a tater-taunt.

..........He's an on and off friend of mine.........Liz Phair …..May Queen

3) It was not until the 1920’s that a husband and wife team began changing the way bras were and actually started giving them cup sizes.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If I was meant to be controlled, I'd have come with a remote.

Weird Word of the Week: Dicktim: When someone acts like a dick, then acts like a victim about it. https://www.facebook.com/PsychoBtchLou

Dragon of the Week: Epcot Dragon --Submitted by ml of ks

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean grease from your hands. A dab of Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo cuts through the grime on your hands. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

Hippie Love: Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new. --Ursula K Le Guin

It's so hot my crayons are now watercolors.

Yosef Yam was a janitor at the local McDonalds. He was a really good sweep potato. Ō All potato puns are pomme de terrible.

...........Careless sunlight in her eyes and petals in her hair..........Heather Dale …..May Queen

4) In the 70’s, the first sports bra was invented out of (get this!) two jock straps! It’s a bit disgusting to think about that part of it, but at the same time, sports bras are our lifesaver when it comes to running, jumping and working out!

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: US accepts flying gilded brothel from Qatar. --Submitted by sd of ks ~~Which, apparently, he asked for.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: ConQuesT 54 (2-4, KCMO) KC's original Science Fiction Convention... https://conquestkc.org/

Awesomeness of the Week: Bonnie Raitt & Sheryl Crow singing Dylan's Everything Is Broken

Spark of Joy of the Week: The only person Donny Nappleseed* ever hired who was actually qualified to do their job was Stormy Daniels. *One of Jimmy Kimmel's 78 Nicknames

Hippie Love: Where There Is Great Love There Are Always Miracles. --Willa Cather

It's so hot Jesus turned the wine back into water.

I have a large potato patch and a special bag for carrying them. It's my tater tote. Ō When a potato is angry it's best not to say anything; just butter 'em up.

..........I need that heart to breathe............Secrets …...Maybe Next May

5) The bra market reached USD 31.93 billion in 2024 and is expected to attain a value of USD 54.54 billion by 2034.

Protest Sign of the Week: Dump The Turd Reich

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Tiny Hands – Giant Bribes

Quote of the Week: Disbelief in magic can force a soul into believing in government and business. --Tom Robbins

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm not a 10. I'm like two 5s held together by mashed potatoes. --Submitted by FNOG

Today's Peace of History: May 30, 1990 - Midnight Oil closed down 6th Avenue in New York City as they played a protest concert in front of Exxon's offices. The protest was in reaction to the Exxon Valdez disaster.

Hippie Love: I'd rather wear flowers around my neck than diamonds. --Oscar Wilde

It's so hot my iceberg lettuce melted.

The other day it rained potatoes. There were spuddles everywhere. Ō Penny is a good looking french fry, a real hot potato.

..........While nature wantons in her prime.........William Byrd …..The Sweet and Merry Month of May

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 30, 2025, rUsset ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Women's virtue is man's greatest invention. --Cornelia Otis Skinner

Cost of War:

As of 02/29/25 State Department Costs: $266,199,158,547

As of 05/22/25 State Department Costs: $265,623,483,660

As of 02/29/25 Homeland Security: $1,200,854,327,358

As of 05/22/25 Homeland Security: $1,200,229,066,138

As of 02/29/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,302,625,557,615

As of 05/22/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,301,017,774,002

As of 02/29/25 Military Costs: $3,148,715,787,186

As of 05/22/25 Military Costs: $3,147,495,183,839

As of 02/29/25 Veterans Care: $4,299,496,598,892

As of 05/22/25 Veterans Care: $4,287,310,901,403

As of 02/29/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,217,893,899,157

As of 05/22/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,201,580,117,054

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical. --Blaise Pascal

Famous Last Words: That's all, folks. --Mel Blanc

..........And pluck the wildflowers.........Dolores Keane …..May Morning Dew

Hippie Love: Imagine All The People Sharing All The World. --John Lennon

It's so hot the devil is out front sunbathing in a thong.

Veggie town just got it's first emergency vehicle. It's a yambulance. Ō I won the potato hiding contest because my carbo-hide-rate was so high.

May Peace ease your mind

And Joy comfort your soul

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

sPun ePistle II

Famous First Words: Captain Walker didn't come home. --The Who Overture Tommy

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Ξ Why was the blood pressure cuff so popular? It knew how to apply the right pressure. Ξ Every time I sit down at my spinning wheel, my partner says, “Don't make yourself dizzy.”

..........lots of laughs, lots of laughs.........Joni Mitchell …..Blue

Let us have love and more love; a love that melts all opposition, a love that conquers all foes, a love that sweeps away all barriers, a love that aboundeth in charity, a large-heartedness, tolerance, forgiveness and noble striving, a love that triumphs over all obstacles. --Abdu'l Bahá

It is a beautiful Friday morning. I have been to the doctor who says the problem in my ears may be a real infection now. So I just took a couple of antibiotics pills and an over the counter decongestant. Gee, I hope this does the trick.

Hope your weekend is dizzy-free, Clear Headed ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't fear aging. I fear stairs, small fonts, and low chairs. --Submitted by cmp of ks

What did the systolic say to the diastolic? I always come first. Ξ I thought my spinning was caused by an ear infection but the doctor said I have a dizzy-se.

..........I've come to talk to you again.........Simon & Garfunkel …..The Sound Of Silence

Trivia Questions: Happy World Turtle Day

1. How long have turtles been around?

2. What do turtles eat?

3. Turtles are amniotes, what does that mean?

4. How long was the lifespan of the oldest recorded turtle?

5. How many species of turtles are there?

Big Hello: Zdravo - Serbian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Earth has been officially recognized as the universe's leading producer of awkward social interactions. --Submitted by 42 Collective

Insult of the Week: If you will forgive me for being personal...I don't like your face. --Agatha Christie Murder On The Orient Express

The blood pressure monitor made an excellent detective because it could always tell when someone was under pressure. Ξ My brother spun me so fast on the merry-go-round that I couldn't return the favor. This is known as a first whirled problem.

..........I hope I die before I get old.........The Who …..My Generation

Moonbeam: What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind. What is the soul? It is immaterial. --Thomas Hood

Blasphemy of the Week: The dominant religion on the planet is not Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, or Judaism but the pervasive faith in violence. --Walter Wink

Request For Anyone Living in Lawrence: A large-ish tree limb has fallen into our front yard and we don't have a saw big enough to cut it up. I would like to put the pieces in the backyard as a woodpile as a recreational and/or habitat for the local wildlife. If someone has a saw we can borrow, we would be most grateful. There are people here who can do the sawing and the carrying. Thank you!!

Joke of the Week: When I drink too much coffee, people get dizzy just watching me.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Born to Dilly Dally; forced to fight fascists. --Hanna Oxford

My partner reminded me that the world doesn't revolve around me, I'm just dizzy. Ξ The bp monitor was a great actress because she always knew her lines and never choked under pressure.

..........It took me by surprise..........Marvin Gaye …...I Heard It Through The Grapevine

1) Turtles belong to one of the oldest reptile groups beating snakes, crocodiles, and alligators. They date back to the time of the dinosaurs, over 200 million years.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 23, 2025. The moon will be new next Wednesday (5/27) and is in Aries. The United Nations has declared this International Day to End Obstetric Fistula. Today is Don't Fry Day, National Polka Day, National Best Friend-in-Law Day, National Cooler Day, National Road Trip Day, National Taffy Day, National Title Track Day, and World Turtle Day.

Among those born on this day were Thomas Hood (1799), Edward Hitchcock (1828), 'Abdu'l-Baha (1844), Douglas Fairbanks (1883), Artie Shaw (1909), Barbara Ward (1914), Rosemary Clooney (1928), Robert Moog (1934), Marvelous Marvin Hagler (1954), Drew Carey (1961), and Jewel (Kilcher, 1974).

On May twenty-third Captain Kidd was hung (1701), the James gang robbed the Richmond, MO bank (1867), the Associated Press News Service formed (1900), the first "black" musical comedy opened (Shuffle Along, 1921), the first nylon was manufactured (1934), Winston Churchill resigned (1945), the first Cliff Notes were published (1953), and The Who released Tommy (1969).

Night Sky, 5/23: Bright Capella sets low in the northwest fairly soon after dark these evenings (depending on your latitude). That leaves Vega and Arcturus as the brightest stars in the evening sky. Vega shines in the east-northeast. Arcturus is very high toward the south. A third of the way from Arcturus down to Vega look for semicircular Corona Borealis, with 2nd-magnitude Alphecca as its one moderately bright star. Two thirds of the way from Arcturus to Vega is the dim Keystone of Hercules. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max & Ollie with some new books at Grandma's house.

This Week: Saturday, May 24 – Aviation Maintenance Technician Day & Brother's Day & Morse Code Day & National Learn To Swim Day

Sunday, May 25 – Indianapolis 500 Day & Plastic Free Day & National Tap Dance Day & Towel Day

Night Sky, 4/25: Can you see the big Coma Berenices star cluster? Does your light pollution really hide it, or do you just not know exactly where to look? It's 2/5 of the way from Denebola (Leo's tail tip) to the end of the Big Dipper's handle (Ursa Major's tail tip). Its brightest members form an inverted Y. The entire cluster is about 4° or 5° wide — a big, dim glow in a fairly dark sky. It nearly fills a binocular view.

Monday, May 26 – Memorial Day & Hamburger Day & National Paper Airplane Day & Prayer For Peace Memorial Day

Tuesday, May 27 – Cellophane Tape Day & Women's Golf Day

Wednesday, May 28 – Amnesty International Founders Day & National Brisket Day & Sierra Club Day & World Otter Day

Night Sky 5/28: Neptune, a mere 8th magnitude, lurks hidden in the dawn background of Saturn.

Thursday, May 29 – International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers & Learn About Composting Day & National Alligator Day

The only song my pb monitor ever plays is Queen's Under Pressure. Ξ I just read a biography of Vincent Van Gogh's aunt, Verti Gogh.

..........I only want to see you laughing.........Prince …..Purple Rain

2) What a turtle eats depends on the environment it lives in. Land dwelling turtles will munch on beetles, fruit, and grass, while sea dwellers will gobble everything from algae, to squid and jellyfish.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The same people who insist that every child say “with liberty and justice for all” every morning at school will put you in jail for insisting on it as an adult.

Moonbeam: I resolved that, like the sun, as long as my day lasted, I would look on the bright side of everything. --Thomas Hood

Fun Fact of the Week: Clifton Hillegass and his wife, Catherine, started Cliff Notes in their basement at 511 Eastridge Drive in Lincoln, NE with sixteen William Shakespeare titles. By the end of the year they had sold over 58,000 copies.

Video of the Week: From the revival of Shuffle Along (2:11) https://youtu.be/2cWflBv1q6E

The diversity in the human family should be the cause of love and harmony. As it is in music where many different notes blend together in the making of a perfect chard. --Abdu'l Bahá

Why did the bp cuff cross the road? To get to the other artery. Ξ I told my doctor that everytime I get up after sleeping, I feel dizzy for half an hour. My doctor told me to wait half an hour before I get up.

..........Nowhere to run, ain't got nowhere to go..........Bruce Springsteen …..Born In The USA

3) Turtles = Amniotes = breathe air and lay their eggs on land although many species live in or around the sea.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What I need...is a strong drink and a peer group. --Douglas Adams

Weird Word of the Week: Haptic /'hæptik/ sense of touch or tactile sensations. https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-hap1.html

Dragon of the Week: Submitted by vr of tl ~~I had a blurb about these dragons, but I lost it in a dizzy

fog.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make a bubble bath. Pour one capful of Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo under a running tap in the bathtub. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

The wizard with the poor sense of balance could only cast dizzy spells. Ξ My pb monitor went to the gym to pump up.

...........I'm beggin' you..........Dolly Parton …..Jolene

4) Turtles are cold-blooded creatures that have an incredibly long life span. The oldest ever recorded, named Tu'i Malila, of Tonga Island, passed away at the grand old age of 188.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I typed “WTF”, but it autocorrected to “Verily, I hath witnessed a spectacle so witless, my very soul hath packed its belongings and fled my body, as though reason itself hath tripped over a turnip and perished. --Submitted by gd of nm

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CoreCon 2025 (23-25, Fargo, ND) Halfoween https://www.fargocorecon.org/

Bright Idea of the Week: Loop, a Netherlands-based company, has created a “living coffin” made out of mushrooms. It decomposes your body within 3 years. The coffin also decomposes, leaving nothing behind. https://loop-biotech.com/living-cocoon/

Spark of Joy of the Week: May I love in ways that devastatingly disrupt organized state violence. --Gabes Torres

Pb cuffs don't generally like roller coasters, too many ups and downs. Ξ When Clark Kent got dizzy, they called him Stuporman.

..........We'd like to thank you once again..........The Beatles …..Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

5) Sadly, many species of turtle are endangered. 129 of approximately 300 species of turtles and tortoises on Earth today are either vulnerable, endangered, or critically endangered according to the IUCN. Threats include loss of habitat, pollution, poaching, and the illegal pet trade.

Protest Sign of the Week: Will Trade Marco Rubio For Abrego Garcia

Quote of the Week: I'm not young enough to know everything. --Oscar Wilde

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A good day to remember that the rules of the Earth system are determined by physics and biology and the rules of the economy are made up by a small group of self-interested people and could change.

Today's Peace of History: May 23, 1992: Belarus, Kazakhstan, and Ukraine, which had inherited strategic nuclear weapons from the Soviet Union, ratified the START I treaty and joined the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty as non-nuclear states. Through the Lisbon Protocol, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Russia, and Ukraine became parties to START I as legal successors to the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. The breakup of the Soviet Union delayed START's entry into force nearly three-and-a-half years.

I had to take the batteries out of my radon detection machine. The beeping was making me dizzy. Ξ When I told my doctor, Helga, I was feeling dizzy, she asked if I had vertigo. But I told her I only lived around the corner.

..........I'll be sitting when the evening comes.........Otis Redding …..Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 23, 2025, sPun ePistle II. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: To attempt to advise conceited people is like whistling against the wind. --Thomas Hood

Cost of War:

As of 05/22/25 State Department Costs: $265,623,483,660

As of 05/15/25 State Department Costs: $265,082,023,227

As of 05/22/25 Homeland Security: $1,200,229,066,138

As of 05/15/25 Homeland Security: $1,199,640,886,387

As of 05/22/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,301,017,774,002

As of 05/15/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,299,505,296,073

As of 05/22/25 Military Costs: $3,147,495,183,839

As of 05/15/25 Military Costs: $3,146,346,757,584

As of 05/22/25 Veterans Care:$4,287,310,901,403

As of 05/15/25 Veterans Care: $4,275,847,546,832

As of 05/22/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,201,580,117,054

As of 05/15/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,186,426,191,563

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame in the heart that is cold. Love brings home to the hopeless and gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful. In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the power of love. --Abdu'l Bahá

Famous Last Words: Raise me up a little bit. --John D Rockefeller who died 5/23/37

..........You know you can't hold me forever..........Elton John …..Goodbye Yellow Brick Road In honor of Title Track Day all our songs are great title tracks.

My pb machine had to go to therapy because it couldn't handle the pressure. Ξ Did you hear about the dizzy marsupial? It was a wobbly wallaby.

May Peace keep you joyful

And Joy keep you peaceful

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

hOme sPun ePistle

 Famous First Words: He's coming. Chorus Annie Get Your Gun

In Honor of the O'Henry Pun Off, which was held last weekend in Austin, Tx, here are some Other and some Henry puns. I'm currently reading a book about the life of Henry Ford. It's an auto biography. Õ Did you hear? Henry Winkler was arrested for financial fraud. He was running a Fonzi Scheme.

The real reason that we can't have the ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal”, “Thou shalt not commit adultrey”, and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment. --George Carlin

..........You want to make love to the scene..........Velvet Underground …..European Sun (for Delmore Schwartz)

Work is about a search for daily meaning as well as daily bread, for recognition as well as cash, for astonishment rather than torpor; in short, for a sort of life rather than a Monday through Friday sort of dying. --Studs Terkel

Yesterday (Thursday, 5/15) I was sick – dizzy every time I moved my head and vomiting even though I hadn't eaten anything. Thursdays are when I proof the ePistle. Today I am still dizzy but haven't thrown up yet. I have tried to proof, but still apologise for the mess.

Have a grape day, Punsters

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's not really my thing but “Good Morning” to everyone who celebrates it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1600248646916288/

Henry Churches is a good musician. Google Translate: Enrique Iglesias es un buen músico. Õ The most famous car maker from Norway is Henry Fjord.

Instead of Air Force One, let's call it Exhibit A.

.........Telling my whole life with his words..........Roberta Flack …..Killing Me Softly (for Don McLean)

Trivia Questions: Happy 106^th Birthday to Liberace

1. What was Liberace's given name?

2. When did Liberace begin piano lessons?

3. How did Liberace describe his music style?

4. What part did Liberace play on Batman (1966)?

5. What bathroom item did Liberace invent?

Big Hello: Halò – Scottish Gaelic https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When I worked in the academic advising department at UCA I never thought the answer to the question, “What can I do with a math major”, would be, “become pope” --Submitted by sb of ar

Image of the Week: Happy Morel Mushroom Day

Insult of the Week: He would make a lovely corpse. --Charles Dickens The Life & Adventures of Martin Chuzzlewit

One of my ancestors was hired by Henry VIII to teach his son the trumpet. He was a Tudor tooter tutor. Õ I have a friend named Henry the fourth. Unfortunately, we call him HIV.

If my name was David and I had a boy, I would have to name him Harley. That way he could introduce himself as Harley David's son.

..........Didn't you love the things that they stood for.........Dion DeMucci …..Abraham, Martin, & John (Lincoln, King, & Kennedy)

Moonbeam: I speak on due consideration because Britain, France, and Mexico have abolished slavery, and all other European states are preparing to abolish it as speedily as they can. --William H Seward

Blasphemy of the Week: If I am right, then (religious fundamentalists) will not go to Heaven, because there is no Heaven. If they are right, then they will not go to Heaven, because they are hypocrites. --Isaac Asimov

Coffee Joke of the Week: Coffee: the most important meal of the day.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you could have sex with any famous celebrities dead or alive which one would it be? Alive!

Henry VIII's second wife never came into a room quickly. She'd just Anne Boleyn. Õ Mindy, did you put the cat out? No, Henry, was she on fire?

Real quick, what is the tariff on $400M Qatar jet?

..........Nunc et in hora mortis..........Franz Shubert …..Ave Maria (Virgin Mary)

1) Mr Showmanship was born Wladziu Valentino Liberace in Wisconsin.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 15, 2025. The moon will enter the first quarter next Tuesday (5/20) and is in Capricorn. Today is Biographer's Day, Endangered Species Day, Honor Our LGBT Elders Day, International Day of Living in Peace, International Virtual Assistants Day, Morel Mushroom Day, NASCAR Day, National BBQ Day, National Bike to Work Day, National Piercing Day, National Pizza Party Day, National Sea Monkey Day, and World Eel Day.

Among those who were born on this day are William Henry Seward (1801), Eduard Hille (1822), Lily Pons (1904), Henry Fonda (1905), Studs Terkel (1912), Liberace (1919), Harry Carey Jr. (1921), Billy Martin (1928), Sputnik Spooner (1949), Pierce Brosnan (1952), and Debra Winger (1955).

On May sixteenth Mary, Queen of Scotland, fled to England (1568), Samuel Johson met James Boswell (1763), Marie Antoinette married Louis XVI (1770), Mississippi River steamboat service began (1817), Kentucky proclaimed neutrality (1861), the US Bureau of Mines was formed (1910), Joan of Arc was canonized (1920), Food stamps were first issued (1939), Annie Get Your Gun premiered (1946), Spaghetti-Os went on the market (1965), National Welfare Rights Organization began (1966), Junko Tabei became the first woman to reach the Mt, Everest summit (1975), Michael Jordan was named Rookie of the Year (1985), and the Endeavor makes its maiden voyage (1992).

Night Sky, 5/16: Vega is the brightest star in the east-northeast after dark. Look 15° (about a fist and a half at arm's length) upper left of Vega for Eltanin, the 2nd-magnitude nose of Draco the Dragon. Closer above and upper left of Eltanin are the three fainter stars that form the rest of Draco's stick-figure head, also called the Lozenge. Draco always points his nose to Vega, no matter how he's oriented. Dragons do have a thing for jewels. The faintest star of Draco's head, opposite Eltanin, is Nu Draconis. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Jurassic Park Adventure

This Week: Saturday, May 17 – Do Dah Day & National Auctioneers Day & The Preakness & World Fiddle Day

Sunday, May 18 – Buy A Musical Instrument Day & International Museum Day & Neighbor Day

Night Sky, 5/18: This is the time of year when Leo the Lion starts walking downward toward the west, on his way to departing into the sunset in early summer. Right after dark, spot the brightest star fairly high in the west-southwest. That's Regulus, his forefoot.

Monday, May 19 – Accounting Day & May Ray Day & Victoria Day

Tuesday, May 20 – Blue Jeans Day & National Streaming Day & Weights and Measures Day & World Bee Day

Wednesday, May 21 – Emergency Medical Services Day & National Memo Day & Turn Beauty Inside Out Day

Night Sky, 5/21: Mars (magnitude +1.1, in Cancer) glows high in the southwest in the evening. It's the orange dot about 1½ or 2 fist-widths upper left of Pollux and Castor, which are similar to it at magnitudes +1.1 and +1.6, respectively. Now that Mars and Pollux are the same brightness, it's an ideal time to compare their colors. Mars is more strongly tinted than pale yellow-orange Pollux, a type G8 giant star. Farther below Mars shines Procyon, magnitude +0.4.

Thursday, May 22 – Harvey Milk Day & National Maritime Day & World Goth Day

Henry V's greatest military achievement was capturing Harfleur with a single marshmallow. One s'more unto the breach, dear friends, one s'more. Õ Tiff Wimberly, who introduced herself as meteorologist Dorothy Gale, announcing "the forecast for Oztin calls for mostly punny with a chance of Blunder."

Let's sell the plane and use the cash to buy girls more dolls.

..........Nursing is an art, my friend..........English Kids Song …..Lady With The Lamp (Florence Nightingale)

2) Liberace began playing piano when he was 3 years old and soon learned to play by ear. At the age of 7 he was enrolled at the Wisconsin College of Music.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The new pope has a degree in mathematics from Villanova University. This guy doesn't just understand sin. He understands cos. --Submitted by High Church Coyote

Moonbeam: Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of something bad. --Harry Caray

Fun Fact of the Week: Cats On A Couch is a facebook page whose sole purpose in existing is to have more followers than JD Vance. It has cat gifs, jokes, cutenesses, etc. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61563851558687&sk=reels_tab

Video of the Week: Ethyl Merman singing You Can't Get A Man With A Gun (3:12) https://youtu.be/EslXq-O2moM

Hope never trickles down. It always springs up. --Studs Terkel

If we invade Canada, I'm on Canada's side.

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VII have in common? Same middle name. Õ Dad: Remember Henry Jones who lived on Gordon Avenue. Me: No, but I remember Gordon Johnson who lived on Henry Avenue.

..........Hollywood created a superstar..........Elton John …..Candle in the Wind (Marilyn Monroe & Princess Diana)

3) Liberace described his songs as classical music without all the boring parts.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you've never questioned your life choices while holding a cup of cold tea and staring into the abyss, are you really living? --Submitted by 42 Collective

Sports Pun of the Week: Every horse in the 2025 Kentucky Derby traces back to Secretariat. This is a clear case of Neighpotism.

Weird Word of the Week: Gelotologist: specialist in gelotology, the study of humor, laughter, and the exercising of the gelastic muscles, a deeply serious exploration of what happens to our bodies when we're exposed to humor. https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-gel1.html

Dragon of the Week: Vritra, Hindu Serpent

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Hand wash lingerie. Mix one teaspoon Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo in a sink filled with warm water, let the lingerie soak in the sudsy solution for five minutes, and rinse clean without wringing the items. Lay the lingerie on a white towel, roll up the towel to absorb excess moisture, and then hand up the lingerie to drip dry. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

I can't believe people are comparing Donny Nappleseed* to Satan. Yes, he's evil, but he's certainly not as evil as Greedy McGolfy* --Ice T

*Name replaced by one of Jimmy Kimmel's 78 nicknames for #47.

Henry the sixth was a VIKing. Õ A charcuterie spread with the meat in the shape of a peace sign is called Salaami.

...........You never combed your hair..........Elis Paul …..Albert Einstein

4) After his variety television show (called the Liberace Show) aired, he appeared on 2 episodes of Batman. He portrayed a concert pianist and his evil twin.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: All the brains in the world are powerless against the sort of stupidity that is in fashion. --Jean de La Fontaine

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: ICCCon Part VII 2025 (16-18, Nashville, TN) Welcome to the Future of Conventions https://iccollectorsconvention.com/

Spark of Joy of the Week: Jon Stewart's Ok or Not Ok Chart. https://thesarkariform.com/jon-stewarts-new-method-to-expose-trumps-endless-nonsense/ (you have to scroll down to the video) (2:22)

It is impossible to starve children to death in self defense.

Why is it called primal scream instead of scream of consciousness? Õ I dress as a road every Halloween; it's my all tar ego. Õ There are two species of palm trees that are symbionts, or you could say they're fronds with benefits.

..........I can do better..........Irving Berlin …..Anything You Can Do (Annie Oakley)

5) Liberace designed a retracting toilet that folded into the wall of a bathroom. “There's just no reason why you should walk into a bathroom and see a toilet. It's unglamorous.”

Protest Sign of the Week: Just Say No

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Without Immigrants Trump Would Have No Wives

Quote of the Week: Thank you, Pope Francis. --Pope Leon XIV

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: America now has both the pope and the antichrist. @sadmhounsters --Submitted by MMS

Today's Peace of History: May 16, 1792: Denmark became the first country to outlaw the slave trade.

Earth's application to the Galactic Federation was rejected again. Reason: Excessive reality TV.

Did Jimi Hendrix come from the Great Rift Valley: 'Cause he sure can play that guitar. Õ You can dissolve more ramen flavor packets in hot water than cold water. It's called soupersaturation.

..........Working cheap and biding time.........The Eagles …..Doolin Dalton (Bill Doolin, Bill Dalton & the Wild Bunch)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 16, 2025, hOme sPun ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: There is nothing new except what has been forgotten. --Marie Antoinette

Cost of War:

As of 05/15/25 State Department Costs: $265,082,023,227

As of 05/08/25 State Department Costs: $264,521,078,217

As of 05/15/25 Homeland Security: $1,199,640,886,387

As of 05/08/25 Homeland Security: $1,199,031,549,713

As of 05/15/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,299,505,296,073

As of 05/08/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,297,938,376,92

As of 05/15/25 Military Costs: $3,146,346,757,584

As of 05/08/25 Military Costs: $3,145,156,986,265

As of 05/15/25 Veterans Care: $4,275,847,546,832

As of 05/08/25 Veterans Care:$4,263,966,336,497

As of 05/15/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,186,426,191,563

As of 05/08/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,170,615,810,731

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

We are living in the United States of Alzheimer's. A whole country has lost its memory. When it can't remember yesterday, a country forgets what it once wanted to be. --Studs Terkel

Famous Last Words: Jesus --Joan of Arc Burned at the stake May 30, 1431

..........Andy, are you goofing on Elvis...........R.E.M. …..Man On The Moon (Andy Kaufman) Happy Biographers Day

To be called “woke” in a world that sleeps through suffering is not an insult, it's the gospel. --Pope Leon XIV

Genghis Khan was such an effective warlord because ws always one steppe ahead of the enemy. Õ The library's Audio Books collection is cataloged in the Dewey Decibel System.

May your Peace be inner and outer

And your joy be a font

prairie mama

christine

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