Mulled ePistle

Famous First Words: Granted: I am an inmate of a mental hospital... Günther Grass The Tin Drum

October is Free Thought Month! I just aced my philosophy test. The question was: What is the central question of epistemology? I answered: How should I know? !! Was it hard to adopt nihilism as your personal philosophy? Nah, there was nothing to it.

..........I can't tell if I'm a kingpin or a pauper.........Red Hot Chili Peppers with Flea …..Give It Away

The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedoms. --William O Douglas

It is a cold (46°, wind NW 14 mph) Friday morning. The sun is trying to melt away the fluffy white clouds but the wind keeps blowing more our way. Puck seemed to enjoy a cool morning staying outside long enough to breathe deep and try a drink of the cold water left out for birds and squirrels and the possum under the shed. The birds are silent and perhaps still in bed. Even the squirrels are absent from the morning sunflower feast. Some trees are beginning to show color on top but the world is still very green for the middle of October in Kansas. Puck is beneath my desk; his little snortings rising up like prayers. Veronica came and loved me up until I gave her some cat treats which she ate before disappearing. The willow trees are dancing wildly but the hammock in the neighbors yard is rocking slowly as if a kitten is sleeping there and even the wind refuses to disturb it. The picture is so autumnal that I expect my coffee to taste like pumpkin spice any minute now. But the best part, as always, is writing to you.

Hope your weekend flows as freely as your thoughts, my little thinkers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. --Isaac Asimov

Empirical Reasoning: 1) Observe 2) Hypothesize 3) Experiment 4) Assess Data 5) Have a beer !! We're thinking about that than which nothing greater can be thought. !! It's all in your mind, you know. --George Harrison

..........Please don't dominate the rap, Jack, if you've got nothing new to say.........Grateful Dead with Bob Weir …..New Speedway Boogie

Trivia Questions: It's World Anesthesia Day

1. What are the 4 kinds of anesthesia?

2. What are the 4 responsibilities of the anesthesiologist?

3. How many times a day is anesthesia used in the US?

4. Where does anesthesiologist rank on the best paying jobs list?

5. How many anesthesiologists are there in the US?

Big Hello: Hee Haj - Folkspraak https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: “I'm gonna put this somewhere safe” is an ancient incantation that opens a portal to a random point in another timeline, through which all safely kept things travel, never to be seen again. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Image of the Week: Happy Dictionary Day

Insult of the Week: If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary. --David Sedaris Barrel Fever

Sometimes I wonder if my fish thinks about me. !! A friend told me my thinking is too one-dimensional. I can't imagine y.

..........Let there be songs to fill the air.........Grateful Dead with Bob Weir …..Ripple

Moonbeam: Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious. --Oscar Wilde

Blasphemy of the Week: If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. --George Carlin

Coffee Joke of the Week: Coffee is the tiny adult in charge when the rest of me is feral. https://www.facebook.com/maythecoffeebewithyou

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Moses left them alone for 40 days. They built a golden cow. This is why group chats need moderators.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? … !! Is it solipsistic here, or is it just me?

..........For this is all a dream we dreamed one afternoon long ago.........Grateful Dead with Bob Weir …..Box Of Rain

1) Types of Anesthesia 1)Local: numbs one small area 2) Intravenous: patient can be awakened during sedation 3) Regional: a larger than local area (the epidural is an example) 4) General: a coma-like state

Almanac: It is Friday, October 16^th. The moon enters its first quarter on Sunday (10/18) and is in Libra. Today is Department Store Day, Dictionary Day, Global Cat Day, National Boss's Day aka Boss's Day, National Feral Cat Day, World Anesthesia Day, World Food Day, and World Spine Day. Because it is the third Friday it is also Mammography Day.

Among those born on this day were Noah Webster (1758), Oscar Wilde (1854), David Ben-Gurion (1886), Eugene O'Neill (1888), Michael Collins (1890), William O. Douglas (1898), William Conrad (1921), Angela Lansbury (1925), Günter Grass (1927), Barry Corbin (1940), C F Turner (1943), Suzanne Somers (1946), Bob Weir (1947), David Zucker (1947), Tim Robbins (1958), and Flea (1962).

On October sixteenth the Council of Vienne opened (1311), the first modern hotel in the US opened (Boston, 1829), John Brown raided Harper's Ferry (1859), the first hotel with indoor plumbing opened (1869), ~~This is my definition of modern hotel, by the way~~ Sanger opened the first birth control clinic (Brooklyn, 1916), the Chicago subway opened (1943), Elizabeth II married Prince Philip (1957), China became the fifth nuclear power (1964), Halley's comet was observed again (1982), Baby Jessica was rescued from a well shaft (1987), the US set off a nuclear test in Nevada (1990), and Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize (2007).

Night Sky, 10/16: Saturn, Mars, & Jupiter are visible in the morning sky before sunrise. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Battle of the Windmills

This Week: Saturday, October 17 – Black Poetry Day** & National Playing Card Collectors Day & Sweetest Day & Wear Something Gaudy Day

** The most beautiful peace poem I've ever read is Langston Hughes' Give Us Our Peace. https://www.how-matters.org/2011/09/16/langston-hughes/

Sunday, October 18 – Newspaper Comic Strip Appreciation Day & World Toy Camera Day

Night Sky, 10/18: October's first-quarter moon begins at 12:12 pm CDT. The Great Square of Pegasus is high in the southern sky and Andromeda is adjacent to it to the northeast. The 3 stars in the Summer Triangle are Deneb in Cygnus, Vega in Lyra and Altair in Aquila.

Monday, October 19 – Accounting Day & Evaluate Your Life Day & Lung Health Day

Tuesday, October 20 – Disabled Women's Equal Pay Day & National Day of Writing & Sloth International Day

Wednesday, October 21 – Hagfish Day & International Print Day & National Fossil Day & Reptile Awareness Day

Night Sky, 10/21: Sunrise: 7:31 am Sunset: 6:42 pm 11 hours and 11 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 1:32 pm Moonset: 10:31 pm

Thursday, October 22 – Make A Dog's Day Day & Smart Is Cool Day & INTERNATIONAL CAP LOCKS DAY

Think outside the box? I want to think outside this timeline. !! Descartes walked into a bar. The bartender said, “You want a beer?” “I don't think so,” he replied, and promptly disappeared.

..........Trouble ahead, trouble behind.........Grateful Dead with Bob Weir …..Casey Jones

2) Anesthesiologist's Responsibilities 1) Evaluate the patient's current health prior to use 2) Administer anesthesia and monitor patient during surgery 3) Assess patient after the procedure 4) Personally performing or supervising the person administering the anesthesia.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell Ice Cream. --Nick Saban

Moonbeam: Thought is a strenuous art – few practice it, and then only at rare times. --David Ben-Gurion

Fun Fact of the Week: When a company gets fined $10m for a practice that made them $100m, the government isn't regulating crime, it's taking a 10% cut as a business partner. --Submitted by AnarchistBeauties

Video of the Week: Happy National Feral Cat Day! You're a tiny barn cat on a big farm. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1191155141497353

The Constitution is not neutral. It was designed to take the government off the backs of people. --William O Douglas

If you're thinking what I'm thinking you probably need professional help. !! The way to start is by thinking about how you think. This may feel difficult at first, like trying to look down at your own mouth or defending the electoral college. --Elliot Kalan

..........I'm on my way, on my way.........Grateful Dead with Bob Weir …..Mississippi Half-Step Uptown Toodeloo

3) Anesthesia is administered approximately 60,000 times a day in hospitals and medical facilities. --National Institutes of Health

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I tell myself never again and then there I go againing like I've never agained before. --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Bombinate: to make a humming or buzzing sound as bees or machinery. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bombinate

Dragon of the Week: Moon Swallower

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean permanent marker from a dry-erase board. Saturate a clean cloth with Coca-Cola and wipe down the dry erase board to remove permanent marker. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola4.html

Do Zen Masters send out Not Thinking Of You cards? !! Am I not thinking what I think I am not thinking?

...........Just don't tell them that you know me.........Grateful Dead with Bob Weir …..Sugaree

4) US News & World Report ranked anesthesiologists at the #1 best paying job: average salary $187,200/year; The unemployment rate is 1.7% and the field keeps adding new jobs.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Fall is cute, but coffee is still doing all the work. https://www.facebook.com/maythecoffeebewithyou

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Sci-Fi Valley Con 2026 (16-18, Altoona, PA) Step into a realm of warmth and wonder... https://scifivalleycon.com/

Whatever This Is of the Week: It's National Feral Cat Day. One Christmas season Bruce worked at the Topsy's Popcorn factory in the neighborhood of 75^th & Wornall, KCMO. It was a warm December and one night when I went to pick him up, Mike's cat was sleeping in the backseat. When I got to the factory, I pulled around back to where the workers came out and the cat bolted, ran, streaked out of the car into the darkness of an alley. Calling did not bring him back. Come to find out there was a clowder of cats that lived behind topsy's and were encouraged to do so with occasional gifts of milk and food. The cats kept mice and rats to a minimum. So I once drove a cat to run away from home and join a gang. ~~Bruce saw him a couple of times after that but he refused to return to civilization.

Spark of Joy of the Week: Maybe I'm not overthinking, maybe I'm just regularly thinking about stuff that's overhappening. --Submitted by INRITH

It's like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them. !! I'm thinking about what I need to think about.

..........You gotta play your hand.........Grateful Dead with Bob Weir …..Truckin'

5) According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics there are 29,200 anesthesiologists working in the US today.

Protest Sign of the Week: How Many Homeless Families Does It Take To Make A Billionaire?

Quote of the Week: There are no dangerous thoughts; thinking itself is dangerous. --Hannah Arendt

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it's empty. --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Today's Peace of History: October 16, 1967: Folksinger Joan Baez was arrested in a peace demonstration as rallies took place across America during “Stop the Draft Week.” 1158 young men returned their draft cards in eighteen US cities. Baez was among 122 anti-draft protesters arrested for sitting down at the entrance of the Armed Forces Induction Center in Oakland, CA; she was sentenced to 10 days in prison.

Positive Thinking: When I fell down the stairs today, I thought, “Wow! I sure fell down those steps fast”. !! Think Less! Stupid More!

..........Fare you well, my honey..........Grateful Dead with Bob Weir …..Brokedown Palace

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, October 16, 2026, Mulled ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I love every bone in their heads. --Eugene O'Neill

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 10/15/26: $1,060,035,930,378 This week's total is nineteen billion, two hundred and sixty-nine million, ninety-four thousand, five hundred and twenty-four dollars spent on warfare.

Pentagon Spending 10/8/26:$1,040,766,835,854

Pentagon Spending 10/1/26: $1,020,702,251,165

Imagine peace and love rule our lives. Think it, feel it, say it, pray it. Make it so. --Thomas Hillman

Pentagon Spending in September 2026: $83,835,546,693

Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Measles in the US: October: 4,080 confirmed cases (786 new cases)

September: 3.294 confirmed cases (725 new cases)

August: 2566 (335 new cases)

July: 2231 (158 new cases)

June: 2073 (231 new cases)

May: 1,842 (94 new cases)

April: 1,748 (386 new cases)

An Update: There have been 3 deaths from measles in 2026; there were 3 in 2025. Between 2000 and 2004, only one death was reported (2015). In the entire year 2010 there were only 63 confirmed cases. https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html

Since when have we Americans been expected to bow submissively to authority and speak with awe and reverence to those who represent us? --William O Douglas

Famous Last Words: I'm a Writer, but then, Nobody's Perfect --Tombstone Billy Wilder (also the last line of Some Like It Hot)

..........It's the edge of the world and all of Western civilization.........Red Hot Chili Peppers with Flea …..Californication

If you give me a minute to think, I'm sure I can make it worse. !! What did you expect from thought that's absolutely free?

May Peace soothe your mind

And Joy relax your soul

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: 

Mid-ePistle

Famous First Words: Whereas several well disposed and Publick spirited Persons... An Act for Liberty to Erect a Collegiate School (Yale University Charter, 1701)

It's National Midwifery Week (4-10). Midwife (noun) Someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge. See also: Wizard, Magician ++ I'm not sure I'm cut out to help bring babies into this world. Sounds like you're having a midwife crisis. ++ Midwives help people out.

..........Nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about.........The Beatles with John Lennon …..Strawberry Fields Forever

We should do more and talk less. --Mary Ann Shadd Cary

It is chilly (61°F) Friday morning. A light breeze moves the air across my cheek without moving my hair. The light is slowly spreading across a cloudless sky which is evolving from white to blue. The trees, still green, are still; only the very top leaves sway in the music of the wind. The two bunnies that were nibbling sunflower seeds left over from yesterday do not run when I open the door. They move far enough a way to have a good head start in case they need to run, but they wait while I put out a fresh supply of seeds and peanuts. They eye Veronica, the cat, but do not even run from her. She just watches the whole yard like she's the guardian of the neighborhood. Now we wait, she and I, for the crows, for their noisy conversation, and their company. I sit at my computer typing and Veronica goes to the next room to sit on the desk and stare out the back window. All in all, not a bad morning. And the best is yet to come – writing to you.

Hope your weekend comes out okay, gentle folk.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Humans invented clocks so they could be late with mathematical precision. --Submitted by Club42

Yay! It's Friday. Oh, wait, I'm a midwife. ++ Does it hurt? Can I get you a beer or something? This is why there are no midhusbands.

..........Nothing you can make that can't be made.........The Beatles with John Lennon …..All You Need Is Love

If a woman doesn't look like a Goddess during labor, then someone isn't treating her right. --Ina May Gaskin, author Spiritual Midwifery

Trivia Questions: Happy World Egg Day

1. How many bird species' eggs are part of the regular human diet?

2. How long does it take a chicken to produce an egg?

3. What, if any, differences are there between white eggs and brown eggs?

4. Which US state processes the most commercial eggs annually?

5. What is the relationship between a chef's toque hat and eggs?

Big Hello: Sawubona - Zulu https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Learning French has really encouraged me to live in the moment because I currently cannot conjugate any other verb tenses. --Submitted by LanguageNerds

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Lord, the free oxygen you gave us. Lays is selling it in bags with like 5 chips. --Submitted by Official … Colbert

Insult of the Week: Eric Schmitt. Imagine being the dumbest senator in your state when the other one is Josh Hawley. https://www.facebook.com/wokeginger

Thank you for calling Acme Midwifery and Plumbing. If your water breaks, we've got you covered. ++ Midwife /midwarf (noun) 1. Delivers babies 2. Never wrong 3. Always awesome.

..........Integrations, meditions, United Nations, congratulations.........John Lennon and Yoko Ono

Moonbeam: No one is entitled to the truth. --E Howard Hunt

Blasphemy of the Week: The difference between you and me is you use scripture to determine what love means and I use love to determine what scripture means. --Jesus --Submitted by UUHS

Coffee Joke of the Week: Half Midwife, Half Coffee

Second Blasphemy and Second Coffee Joke of the Week: Through Coffee all things are possible.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you believe in countries, the United States is a much more powerful country than Russia. But if you just believe that it's gangster on gangster, well then sure, Putin is a much better gangster than Trump. --Tim Snyder

Midwives do it in any position. ++ No, not delighted...Dilated!

..........Nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too.........John Lennon …..Imagine

When we as a society begin to value mothers as the givers and supporters of life, then we will see social change in ways that matter. --Ina May Gaskin

1) There are over 10,000 species of birds but the eggs of only 7 are routinely used: Chicken, Turkey, Duck, Quail, Goose, Pheasant, Emu, and Ostrich.

Extra² Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Greek mythology is basically thousands of years of evidence that giving relatives superpowers is a terrible idea. --Submitted by Blasphemy Memes

Almanac: It is Friday, October 9, 2026. The moon will be new tomorrow and is in Libra. Today is International Beer and Pizza Day, Leif Erikson Day, National Nanotechnology Day (Honors the Nanometer Scale 10-9 meters), National Pro-Life Cupcake Day, PANS/PANDAS Awareness Day, World Postcard Day and Nautilus Night (Cephalopods). Because it is the second Friday it is also National Family Bowling Day (or Kids Bowl Free Day) and World Egg Day.

Among those born on this day were Mary Ann Shadd Cary (1823), Aimee Semple McPherson (1890), Bruce Catton (1899), E Howard Hunt (1918), Robert Shaw (1927), John Lennon (1940), Mike Peters (1943), Peter Tosh (1944), Jackson Browne (1948), Robert Whul (1951), Sharon Osbourne (1952), Scott Bakula (1954), Guillermo del Toro (1964), and David Cameron (1966),

On October 9^th Charlemagne was crowned King of the Franks (768), Leif Ericson "discovered" Vinland aka New England (1000), Yale was chartered as the Collegiate School of Connecticut (1701), slavery was abolished in Costa Rica (1824), the calliope and the sewing machine were patented (1855), the American Humane Association was organized (1877), Woodrow Wilson became the first president to attend a world series game (1915), the first transcontinental flight by a woman, Laura Ingalls, was completed (1930), Hoover Dam went “online” (1936), the Manhattan Project was approved (1941), the first electric blanket was manufactured (1946), Tanganyika became independent within the British Commonwealth (1961), Uganda became independent within the British Commonwealth (1962), Boston rioted over school bussing (1974), France abolished capital punishment (1981), Kathy Sullivan became the first woman to walk in space (1984), and the Strawberry Fields memorial to John Lennon opened (1985).

Night Sky, 10/9: Early this morning the Draconid meteor shower peaked. Tonight the Milky Way core is visible. It will be moving out of sight until next year on the 13^th.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Seattle Sounders Soccer

Public Service Announcement of the Week: Oliver Brault aka Ollie would now like to be known as Alexis. Maxwell is still known as Max. Jack and Aleena are still known as dad and mom.

This Week: Saturday, October 10 – Hug A Drummer Day & I Love Yarn Day & National Chess Day & National Walk To The Park Day

Night Sky, 10/10: The moon becomes new in Libra occurs at 10:50 am CDT.

Sunday, October 10/11 – International Day of the Girl Child & National Coming Out Day & Clergy Appreciation Day

Night Sky, 10/11: The evening sky displays Aquarius, Cygnus, Lyra, Aquilla, and Pisces.

Monday, October 12 – Fossil Day & Indigenous Peoples' Day & National Farmer's Day & Read For The Record Day

Tuesday, October 13 – Silly Sayings Day & National No Bra Day

Wednesday, October 14 – Be Bald and Be Free Day & Emergency Nurses Day & S.A.V.E. (Stop America's Violence Everywhere)

Night Sky, 10/14: Saturn is at its brightest all night long. Jupiter & Mars are the morning stars.

Thursday, October 15 – Global Handwashing Day & I Love Lucy Day & National Grouch Day

Night Sky, 10/15: Sunrise: 7:24 am Sunset: 6:52 pm 11 hours and 28 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 8:19 am Moonset: 5:17 pm

Midwife: Where is the umbilical cord? New mom: It's wireless. ++ For Sale Midwife Manuals. (Can deliver)

..........They're after you to sign your life away.........The Alarm with Mike Peters …..Sixty-eight Guns

2) It takes a hen between 24 and 26 hours to develop an egg. Once she lays, she takes a 30 minute break, and then starts the next one.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just heard someone call a cybertruck a “Klanborghini”. @fooyoo2.bsky.social

Moonbeam: Your gut is always right. --Sharon Osbourne

Fun Fact of the Week: All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, filth, hatred, and schizophrenia. --George Orwell

Video of the Week: Lady Gaga: Til It Happens To You (5:25) Lady Gaga's song about rape. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmWBrN7QV6Y

Self-reliance is the fine road to independence. --Mary Ann Shadd Cary

I used to have a life but then I decided to be a nurse midwife. ++ Ask the Midwife: At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?

..........And the river opens for the righteous someday.........Jackson Browne …..I Am A Patriot

3) Shell color is set by the breed not by taste or nutrition. Brown, white, blue, and green are all the same egg inside.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I wouldn't do much for a Klondike bar, but I might do some shady shit for a tank of gas right now. @blueheartedly1.bsky.social

Weird Word of the Week: Zohnerism: use of a fact to lead a scientifically ignorant public to a false conclusion. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Zohnerism

Dragon of the Week: Curtains

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make a Cola Volcano. Mix two drops of Tabasco Pepper Sauce into a glass of Coca-Cola, stir well, and add ice. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola4.html

Midwife: Helping you release your inner child. ++ Midwives are the answer to your multiplication problems.

The energy that gets the baby in is the energy that gets the baby out. --Ina May Gaskin

...........Oh, won't you stay just a little bit longer.........Jackson Browne …..Load Out/Stay

4) Iowa hens lay 14.8 billion eggs per year. Ohio is next with 7.9 billion.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I miss the version of me that could sneeze without doing a quick risk assessment. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: WindyCon 2026 (9-11, Chicago, IL) Sanctuary in the Stars https://www.windycon.org/

Science Fiction Joke of the Week: Me at 13: Wow, I can't wait till we have immersive computers everywhere like Star Trek. Me today: Wow, I can't wait until we destroy all computers like they did in Dune.

Spark of Joy of the Week: If you have never been called a defiant, incorrigible, impossible woman, there is still time. --Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Mary had a little lamb and the midwife fainted. ++ Modesty? Please, I'm a midwife; I've seen more privates than an army general.

..........who can show me what laughter means.........Jackson Browne …..The Pretender

5) Traditionally the chef hat has a pleat for each way he/she can cook an egg.

Protest Sign of the Week: Release the Trumpstein Files!

Quote of the Week: I'm not a person who thinks the world would be entirely different if it was run by women. If you think that, you've forgotten what high school was like. --Madeleine Albright

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When small men cast long shadows, the sun is about to set. --Lin Yutang

Today's Peace of History: December 9, 1949: U.S. Representative John Parnell Thomas, former chairman of the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC), was sentenced to 6 to 18 months in federal prison for "padding" Congressional payrolls and using the money himself (embezzlement). He had pleaded no contest to the charges, and was pardoned by President Harry Truman shortly before the end of his presidency.

The laboring mother kept shouting “Shouldn't, couldn't” at the top of her lungs “didn't, can't”. The midwife assured her partner that they were just contractions. ++ I didn't become a comedian for the same reason I didn't become a midwife...I always screw up the delivery.

Pregnant and birthing mothers are elemental forces, in the same sense that gravity, thunderstorms, earthquakes, and hurricanes are elemental forces. --Ina May Gaskin

..........Was I unwise to keep them open for so long.........Jackson Browne …..Doctor My Eyes

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, October 9, 2026: Mid-ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: O Hope! Dazzling, radiant Hope! What a change thou bringest to the hopeless; brightening the darkened paths, and cheering the lonely way. --Aimee Semple McPherson

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 10/8/26: $1,040,766,835,854

Pentagon Spending 10/1/26: $1,020,702,251,165 So this week it's twenty billion, sixty-four million, five hundred and eighty-four thousand, six hundred and eighty-nine dollars. Whew! 20 billion would house the entire unhoused population of the US for 4 years.

This is the way of peace – overcome evil with good, and falsehood with truth, and hatred with love. --The Peace Pilgrim

Pentagon Spending in September 2026: $83,835,546,693

Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

It is better to wear out than to rust out. --Mary Ann Shadd Cary

Famous Last Words: I'm shot. --John Lennon In his memory on the opening of the Strawberry Fields Memorial Dedication 1985. John died 12/6/1980.

..........People need some reason to believe.........Jackson Browne …..Running On Empty

Nurse midwife...because Badass Miracle Worker isn't an official job title. ++ My sister is a midwife. The first Thanksgiving dinner when she cooked the turkey, she texted mom, “Good news. The turkey is dilated to 10 centimeters and the stuffing is crowning.

May Peace ease your labor

And Joy bless your result

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Midwife Birthday Card

The Clean ePistle

Famous First Words: Yes, your honor... Johnny Cochran's first words in the trial of OJ Simpson

Rise and Shine! Today is the day to Unsubscribe to the Shit Show!

Today is National Custodial Workers Day! Kids can shoot a basket from 50 feet down court but can't hit a trash can two inches away. --T McCracken ** Karen: Go out and water the garden. Maid: Ma'am, it's raining. Karen: So take an umbrella.

..........Where all the monkeys throw nuts.........Groucho Marx …..Hooray For Captain Spaulding

If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children. --Mahatma Gandhi

It is a chilly (55°) Friday morning. {...been a long time since I could say that.} The sky is clear of clouds and wind while the trees are still. They are hiding birds that sing anthems to the morning. Everything is green, much greener than most Octobers. Dampness from rain and dew fills the air; it shines a little as the light grows. An aroma of damp soil and cement wafts up from below the feet and tickles the nose. A squirrel who seems to believe it is hidden behind a thick willow branch stares in disappointment that I am out of sunflower seeds and have only peanuts to offer from breakfast. Puck has not yet gotten out of bed or rather out from under the bed this morning, but he coughs now and then to let me know he is okay. Veronica came by, demanded a treat, and disappeared again. My, what a pleasant morning. I hope the whole day goes like this.

Hope your weekend cleans up on fun, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Misery might love company, but so does Joy. And Joy throws much better parties. --Billy Ivey https://www.facebook.com/SFTSorg

They're called mermaids because they sweep the bottom of the ocean. ** I love cleaning up messes I didn't make so much, I became a janitor.

..........Now do you believe in rock and roll.........Don McLean …..American Pie

Trivia Questions: It's World Smile Day!

1. How many muscles does it take to smile?

2. How many muscles does it take to frown?

3. At what age do we begin to smile?

4. Who smiles more, men or women?

5. Are smiles really more beautifying than makeup?

Big Hello: Selam – Zazaki (Northern Iran) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. --Mark Twain

Image of the Week: Senator Roger Marshall of Kansas lives in Florida. In Kansas he's as hard to find as bigfoot. This is a rare sighting at the Indivisible Protest in Lawrence, KS.

Insult of the Week: Thy tongue is steeped in falsehood. --Shakespeare

Don't mess with janitors. They know places where no one will ever find you. ** You've never met a maid who owned an HP or a Dell, right? They all own Imacs. It's because they don't do windows.

..........Starry, starry night.........Don McLean …..Vincent

Moonbeam: There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in. --Graham Greene

Blasphemy of the Week: I'm Catholic in that I'm addicted to cats. --Submitted by Blasphemy Memes

Not Blasphemy of the Week: The future cannot afford loyalty without understanding. --Pope Leo XIV

Coffee Joke of the Week: I'm great at multitasking. I can listen, think about coffee, and forget why I was listening...all at the same time. https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=funny%20coffee%20quotes

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There are 492 billionaires on this planet and not one of those losers has decided to become batman. --Submitted by INRITH

Lots of people wanted George Jetson's flying car. Not me, I wanted Rosie. the robot maid, to clean for me. ** I may be a janitor but I cannot clean up after stupid.

..........Whose shadow bears the secret promise..........Sting …..Desert Rose

1) Smiles can require your body to use up to 53 muscles, but you can smile using only 5.

Almanac: It is Friday, October 2, the 275^th day of 2026. The moon enters its last quarter tomorrow and is in Gemini. Today is Audiophile Day, Guardian Angels Day, International Day of Non-violence, Name Your Car Day, National Custodial Workers Day, National Produce Misting Day, National Smarties Day, Peanuts (Cartoon) Day, Phileas Fogg's Wager Day, Shemini Atzeret (Sundown), and World Farm Animals Day. Because it is the first Friday in October it is Kids Music Day, Lee's National Denim Day, Manufacturing Day, National Body Language Day, National Diversity Day, National Manufacturing Day (MFG Day), World College Radio Day, World Plaid Day, and World Smile Day. Finally because it is the first full weekend it is also National Storytelling Weekend (2-4).

Among those born on this day were Richard III (1452), Isabella of Aragon (1470), Nat Turner (1800), Paul von Hinderburg (1847), William Ramsay (1852), Mahatma Gandhi (1869), Groucho Marx (1890), Bud Abbott (1897), Graham Greene (1904), Jack Finney (1911), Spanky McFarland (1928), Johnnie Cochran (1936), Dorothy Pitman Hughes (1938), Vernor Vinge (1944), Don McLean (1945), Annie Leibovitz (1949), Sting (1951), and Warren Spector (1955).

On October second Cartier discovered Montreal (Mount Royal, 1535), the first modern reflecting telescope was completed (1608), the NY Anti-slavery Society was organized (1833), the first Pan American conference opened (DC, 1889), President Wilson suffered a stroke (1919), the first alcohol power plant was established in Atchison , KS (1936) ~~Because this was the best thing Kansans could think up to do with alcohol~~ the first self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was demonstrated (Chicago, 1942), "Peanuts" first appeared in newspapers (1950), Twilight Zone began airing (1959), Thurgood Marshall was sworn in as the first black Supreme Court Justice (1967), the plane carrying the Wichita State University football team crashed (1970), and three cosmonauts returned after a record 237 days in orbit (1984).

Night Sky, 10/2: The Orionid meteor shower becomes active today and peaks 9/21-22.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The Sound and the Noodles

This Week: Saturday, October 3 – Frugal Fun Day & National Play Outside Day & World Porridge Day

Sunday, October 4 – Blessing of the Animals & Dick Tracy Day & Kids Music Day & Ten-Four Day

Night Sky, 10/4: Saturn at Opposition — Saturn is at its closest point to Earth and fully illuminated by the Sun, making it appear at its biggest and brightest. It is visible all night

Monday, October 5 – Get Funky Day & The Victims of Marijuana Prohibition Day & World Teachers Day

Night Sky, 10/5: Mars can be seen very near the moon.

Tuesday, October 6 – American Libraries Day & National Badger Day & National Coaches Day

Night Sky, 10/6: Predawn planets: Jupiter, Uranus, & Neptune in the east. Mars rises after midnight. Saturn rises just after sunset.

Wednesday, October 7 – National Inner Beauty Day & National Pumpkin Seed Day & World Cotton Day

Thursday, October 8 – Harry Potter Book Day & National Salmon Day & World Sight Day

Night Sky, 10/7: Sunrise: 7:22 am Sunset: 6:42 pm 11 hours and 11 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 51:32 pm Moonset 10:31 pm

Night Sky, 10/8: Draconid meteor shower. Beginning in the evening and running until early morning. 5-10 meteors per hour with good, dark skies.

Imperial Widgets fired their janitor. He got the floors so shiny it began to reflect bad decisions. ** I was doing dishes when my roommate came into the kitchen and asked why I was crying. I told her “I was just remembering how I was doing dishes with my mom when I was 10. I told her when I grew up I'd have a maid to do this.”

..........Temptation, frustration..........Sting …..Don't Stand So Close To Me

2) While the myth claims it takes 43-50 muscles to frown, it really takes 6-11.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There is a rumor about that the entire press corp both red and blue are begging 45 to ban them from covering JD Vance. @thedailyshow.com

Moonbeam: But if the technological Singularity can happen, it will. --Vernor Vinge ~~The technological singularity is a hypothetical point when artificial intelligence accelerates and self-improves so rapidly that it surpasses human control and comprehension. ~~~~This definition was supplied by google AI. ~~~~~~If it's any comfort, AI DID NOT follow it with Mwaa ha ha.

Fun Fact of the Week: The sun and wind that power solar panels and turbines never have to pass through the Strait of Hormuz. --Submitted by 98%

Video of the Week: Abbott & Costello: Who's On First (5:31)

There is no “way to peace”, There is only peace. --Mahatma Gandhi

If Cinderella had been a dairy maid would she have been called Mozzarella. ** Just because it is my job to clean up does not mean it's your job to make messes.

..........My love is a flame that burns in your name..........Sting …..We'll Be Together

3) Babies seem to be born knowing how to smile. Even blind babies smile. While handshakes, hugs, and bows are culturally defined, smiles are universal signs of happiness and acceptance. Most doctors believe that real smiles occur when babies are awake at the age of 4-6 months.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The estate of Adolf Hitler sued Donald J Trump Thursday for what it called the “blatant theft” of the late German chancellor's design for an arch of triumph in Berlin. --Andy Borowitz

Weird Word of the Week: Dickademic: (adj) When someone uses big words and a serious tone to disguise the fact that they're still wrong. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1325307769030198

Dragon of the Week: Jörmungandr – the Midgard Serpent

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Shield healthy plants from organic weed killers. Cut off the bottom of a clean, used 2-liter Coca-Cola bottle, and cover the weeds with the top half of the bottle. Insert the nozzle of a spray bottle filled with organic herbicide into the neck of the bottle and spray. ~~Better yet, pull the damned weeds up and never use herbicides.

I am a janitor but my official title is Angel. ** When I get home at night, I'm way beyond tired. I'm actually sweepy.

...........I'll be watching you..........Sting …..Every Breath You Take

4) Generally women smile more than men. However when they are in similar work or social roles, they tend to smile about the same number of times. Boy babies, though, do smile less than girl babies. Girl babies also make more eye contact.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: So embarrassing when you stare into the abyss and the abyss stares back at you, so you wave, but the abyss was staring at someone behind you. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Archcon 2026 (2-4, St Louis, MO) ...special guest Larry Niven!!!! https://archonstl.org/

Whatever This Is of the Week: The squirrels who come and eat sunflower seeds and peanuts on my patio, have begun to sneak the peanuts away – one at a time. I believe he/she/they are hiding them for winter. I've only ever seen one at a time, come to shed roof and look around, then skinny down and pick up a single nut, and skinny back up stopping mid climb to look around again. Finally disappearing into the trees with the nut uneaten. There are a few nut shells on the roof, so someone is snacking.

Spark of Joy of the Week: Autumn – a poem by Ursula K Le Guin

gold of amber

red of ember

brown of umber

all September

I recently got an Eastern European maid to help clean around the house. I showed her where everything was: trash bin, broom, dust mop, vacuum. She said she’d start right away. When I came back from work, she was still vacuuming, 8 hours later. Well, she is a Slovac. ** Janitor! I'm paid to clean up your crap, not take it.

..........So I'll wait for the wild rose that's waitin' for me.........Don McLean …..Mountains Of Mourne

5) A research study conducted by Orbit Complete discovered that 69% of people find women more attractive when they smile than when they are wearing makeup. The better we feel about ourselves, the happier we are.

Protest Sign of the Week: MaLICE CowardICE DisservICE PrejudICE InjustICE

Better Protest Sign of the Week: RESIST with JOY! Goodness Exists. Look For It!

Quote of the Week: Above all, always be capable of feeling deeply any injustice committed against anyone, anywhere in the world. This is the most beautiful quality in a revolutionary. --Che Guevara

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm just one sensory overload away from jail. --Submitted by FTLOD

Today's Peace of History: October 2, 1967: Thurgood Marshall was sworn in as an associate justice of the United States Supreme Court, the first African American on the nation's highest court. He was appointed to the Court by President Lyndon Johnson who previously had appointed him Solicitor General, the legal officer in the Justice Department responsible for representing the United States before the Supreme and federal appellate courts. Marshall had been the lead attorney in the Brown v. Board of Education case which led to the end of legal segregation in the nation’s schools.

I'm guessing janitors hate the first day of school as much as the students. ** My maid doesn't drink at all. She's a dry cleaner.

..........Love the way you smile at me.........Don McLean …..Birthday Song

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, October 2, 2026: The Clean ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Without economic empowerment, you're not free, and Black folks have not gained that freedom we fought for. --Dorothy Pitman Hughes

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 10/1/26: $1,020,702,251,165 This week it comes to nineteen billion, four hundred and seventeen million, eight hundred and fifteen thousand, eight hundred and twenty-seven dollars to blow things up.

Pentagon Spending 9/24/26: $1,001,284,435,338

Peace is the most powerful weapon of mankind. --Mahatma Gandhi

Pentagon Spending in September 2026: $83,835,546,693

Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

True humility means most the strenuous and constant endeavor, entirely directed towards the service of humanity. --Mahatma Gandhi

Famous Last Words: ...and you bet your life. --Groucho Marx

..........On her back is the battle of Waterloo..........Groucho Marx …..Lydia The Tattooed Lady

All maids love their brooms. That is a sweeping generalization. ** I'm not just a janitor, I'm a dirt ninja.

May Peace clear your spirit

And Joy polish you mind

prairie mama

christine

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