wIll's ePistle 2025

 Famous First Words: Every day the factory whistle bellowed... --Maxim Gorky Mother

Welcome to Shakespeare Week (24-30)! A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality. ₤ Methink'st thou are a general offence and every man should beat thee. --Shakespeare All's Well That Ends Well

..........Pour myself a cup of ambition.........Dolly Parton …..Nine To Five

You have the God-given right to kick government around - don't hesitate to do so. --Edmund Muskie

It is a gorgeous (67°F) Friday morning. The sky is populated with fluffy white clouds. For visuals a stiff breeze is blowing the willow branches with their newly sprouted leaves, and green is busting out all over. Puck has been out to greet the day and to greet Bruno; but now he sleeps under my desk. Veronica celebrated National Respect Your Cat Day by lying in the open backdoor and respecting the nature she saw there. I have been out to take deep breaths of fresh air and say good morning to my luscious hollyhock plants. All around a great morning. For a soundtrack birds are singing and/or cawing and/or crowing. The smell of new growth wafts about on the winds and conjures thoughts of flower gardens and spring. For taste I have a blueberry muffin; it smells good as well. Ah, and we are still a month away from the darling buds of May.

I prithee, accept mine humble salutation, gentle souls.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If empathy is a sin; sin boldly. --Submitted by gr of oh

You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish, O, for breath to utter what is like thee! You tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck. ₤ Thou leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch. Shakespeare Henry IV Part 1

..........They say “sing while you slave” but I just get bored.........Bob Dylan …..Maggie's Farm

Trivia Questions: Happy 231^st Birthday to the Louvre!

1. The museum is big! How many square feet or meters of exhibition space does it contain?

2. How many of the 9 categories of art are housed in the Louvre?

3. What do you know about the Glass Pyramid?

4. What percentage of the paintings in the Louvre are by French artists?

5. How many people visit the Louvre each year?

Big Hello: бирибиэт (biribiet) – Sakha (Russian) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I always love it when people say “baby steps!” to imply they're being tentative, when actually baby steps are a great unbalanced, wholehearted, enthusiastic lurch into the unknown. --Olivia Smith --Submitted by WWRWM

Image of the Week: Doot, doot, doot, lookin' out my backdoor.

Coffee Joke of the Week: Rise and Grind! It's Coffee Time!

Away, you three inch fool. ₤ Come, come, you froward and unable worms. --Shakespeare The Taming Of The Shrew

..........Livin' on money that I ain't made yet.........The Vogues …..Five O'clock World

Moonbeam: Life is supposed to be about making the path a little gentler for those traveling behind you. --Reba McEntire

Blasphemy of the Week: I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God. --Kabir

Aging Joke of the Week: I know I'm getting older but, please, stop introducing me as “Oh, this old thing”.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Who lacks sex speaks about sex, hungry talks about food, a person who has no money - about money, and our oligarchs and bankers talk about morality. --Sigmund Freud

Aroint thee, go away, rump-fed runion. ₤ Thou cream faced loon. --Shakespeare Macbeth

..........The money, the game and all the acclaim.........The Birds …..So You Want To Be A Rock And Roll Star

1) There is an impressive 782,910 square feet aka 72,735 square meters of exhibition space on four floors. This makes it one of the world's largest museums.

Almanac: It is Friday, March 28, 2025. The moon will be new tomorrow (3/29) and is in Aries. Today is Barnum & Bailey Day, Endometriosis March Day, National Triglycerides Day, National Respect Your Cat Day, and Weed Appreciation Day.

Among those born on this day were Raphael (1483 – the artist, not the turtle), Theresa of Avila (1515), George Ludwig (1660), Johann Andre (1741), Maxim Gorki (1868), Clara Lemlich (1886), Paul Whiteman (1890), Marlin Perkins (1905), A. Bertran Chandler (1912), Edmund S. Muskie (1914), Dirk Bogarde (1821), Marianne Fredriksson (1927), Ken Howard (1944), Dianne Wiest (1948), and Reba McEntire (1955).

On March twenty-eighth the Louvre opened to the public (1794), the first ambulance services opens for business (1866), Goddard first controlled his rocket with gyros (1935), the first national Curling Championship was held (1957), and Wilt Chamberlain played his last pro-basketball game (1972).

Night Sky, 3/28: Now that it's spring, have you met the Leo Triplet? 3 fine spiral galaxies magnitudes 9 to 10, fit into a 1° eyepiece view in the hind leg of leo. https://sky-tonight.com/object/constellation/Leo

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Fixing the hole … where the stuff gets out

This Week: Saturday, March 29 – Smoke and Mirrors Day & World Piano Day

Night Sky, 3/39: Partial Solar Eclipse – Visible in the north eastern US, Greenland, Iceland, and Europe... https://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/solar/2025-march-29

Sunday, March 30 – International Day of Zero Waste & Mothering Sunday & Pencil Day

Monday, March 31 – Bunsen Burner Day & Cesar Chavez Day & National Crayon Day

Tuesday, April 1 – All Fools Day & Library Snapshot Day & National Fun Day & St Stupid Day

Night Sky, 4/1: The 10% illuminated moon will be close to Uranus (mag 5.8). It will also be in conjunction with the Pleiades constellation. https://starwalk.space/en/news/astronomy-calendar-2025#astronomical-events-in-april-2025

Wednesday, April 2 – National Walking Day & Reconciliation Day & World Autism Day

Thursday, April 3 - Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day & Tweed Day

If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them. ₤ I am pigeon-liver'd and lack gall. --Shakespeare Hamlet

..........Lord, I'm tired. How long can this go on..........Leo Dorsey …..Working In A Coal Mine

2) The Louvre divides its art into the following categories: 1) Permanent Collection 2) Egyptian Antiquities 3) Near Eastern Antiquities 4) Greek, Etruscan, and Roman Antiquities 5) Islamic Art 6) Sculpture 7) Decorative Arts 8) Paintings 9) Prints and Drawings.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Book Burning Festival was called off because nobody had any. --Our Town Cartoons

Moonbeam: Make sure you're always giving, way more than you're taking. --Reba McEntire

Fun Facts of the Week: March 28, 1982: The first NCAA Women's Basketball Championship was held. Louisiana Tech beat Cheney 76-62.

Video of the Week: To Be or Not To Be – Unsolicited Advice with Benedict Cumberbatch, Judi Dench, Ian McKellen, David Tenant, Tim Minchin, Rory Kinnear, Paapa Essiedu, and King Charles III formerly known as Prince Charles. (1:10)

Every part of the journey is of importance to the whole. --Teresa of Avila

I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets. ₤ Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage. --Shakespeare As You Like It

..........All the livelong day.........Pete Seeger …..I've Been Working On The Railroad

3) The Glass Pyramid was designed by I M Pei and completed in 1989. It serves as the main entrance and covers 95,000 square feet (8,825 square meters).

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Ice skating is just walking in cursive. --Submitted by UUHS

Weird Word of the Week: Smaze – smoke and haze https://parade.com/1195613/marynliles/funny-words/

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove blood stains from fabrics. Smear Cheez Whiz over the blood stained clothes or sheets, let sit for five minutes, then toss in your regular wash. The enzymes in the Cheez Whiz clean the blood stains from fabrics. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cheezwhiz.html ~~But the question is: does it clean it well enough to get you through a murder investigation?

Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon. ₤ I'll beat thee, but I would infect my hands. --Shakespeare Timon of Athens

...........Drivin' that train, high on cocaine.........The Grateful Dead …..Casey Jones

4) 66% of the paintings are works by French Artists. Of all the 5,500 paintings by 1,400 artists it is believed that over 500 names are French by birth.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Can we make the Hair Mussolini** family businesses crash like tesla? Maybe the bank will repossess his hair. **One of Jimmy Kimmel's 75 Hilarious Nicknames ...

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Power On Con 2025 (28-30, Colorado Springs, CO) ...Jessica Steen and Tim Dunigah https://www.poweroncon.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 16^th Workshop on Breakdown Science and High Gradient Accelerator Technology (24-28, Mérida, Mexico) ...linear collider applications https://indico.fnal.gov/event/65159/

My Joke of the Week: Know who buys American? Putin.

You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe! ₤ You are as a candle, the better burnt out. --Shakespeare Henry IV Part 2

..........She died and was buried in dirt.........Dawn Landes …..The Housewife's Lament

5) Approximately 8.9 million people visit the museum each year.

Protest Sign of the Week: Childhood Vaccines Cause Adulthood

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Toto, I Don't Think We're In A Democracy Anymore

Quote of the Week: The inferiority of women is man-made. --Helen Keller

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My mind is like someone emptied the kitchen junk drawer onto a trampoline. --Submitted by HumorThought

Today's Peace of History: Today's Peace of History, March 28, 1799: The New York state legislature enacted a law mandating the gradual end of slavery. Children of slaves would not be emancipated until they had served their parent’s “holder” and reached their mid-twenties.

Thou lump of foul deformity. ₤ Thou are unfit for any place but hell. --Shakespeare Richard III

..........It's home from work we go.........The Seven Dwarfs …..Heigh Ho

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, March 28, 2025, wIll's ePistle 2025. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Again it's time to pray for peace. --Reba McEntire

Cost of War:

As of 03/27/25 State Department Costs: $261.183,218,722

As of 03/20/25 State Department Costs: $260,628,300,408

As of 03/27/25 Homeland Security: $1,195,405,957,996

As of 03/20/25 Homeland Security: $1,194,803,218,872

As of 03/27/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,288,615.546.487

As of 03/20/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,287,065,566,472

As of 03/27/25 Military Costs: $3,138,078,607,284

As of 03/20/25 Military Costs: $3,136,901,758,848

As of 03/27/25 Veterans Care: $4,193,298,608,405

As of 03/20/25 Veterans Care:$4,181,548,631,525

As of 03/27/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,076,584,432,630

As of 03/20/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,060,949,737,572

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

When our patterns are threatened by new facts, reason is seldom the victor. --Marianne Fredriksson

Famous Last Words: I want to go. God take me. -Dwight D Eisenhower who died March 28, 1969

.........I ain't working here no more.........Johnny Paycheck …..Take This Job And Shove It --Today's songs in honor of Laugh At Work Week (1-7)

Thy sin's not accidental, but a trade. --Measure for Measure ₤ Thy tongue out-venoms all the worms of Nile. --Cymbeline ₤ Heaven truly knows that thou are false as hell. --Othello ₤ Villain, I have done thy mother. --Titus Andronicus (Shakespeare)

May hourly Peace be still upon you

And a Flock of Joy light upon your back

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

tHe vEry bEtterest ePistle eVer

Famous First Words: The laws are executory... French Civil Code aka Code of Napoleon

We have to keep our spirits up, Right? Whoever started calling the cyber trucks Deploreans? I owe you a drink. Ϟ Perhaps for the first time in history you can simply post, “He's an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you're talking about. Ϟ MOTUS – Moron of the United States --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief

..........I like white folks but I don't like you.........Nipsey Hussle …..FDT (F*ck D*nald T*ump)

These are the darkest hours before the break of day, Peace, as promised will come at night's end. Press on to meet the dawn. --Baha'i Ridvan Message

It is a cloudy Friday morning. The willow branches have freshly sprouted leaf buds lining the thin switches that are blowing in the spring breeze. A hawk was perched there for a while but she's moved on. A bluejay takes her place and sits rocking with the wind. Puck has checked out the backyard making it safe for rabbits and other rarely seen wildlife. (The wood pile I attempted to build for said wildlife has blown back to being tree limbs all over the yard.) Now Puck sleeps on a pile of blankets as if he is the princess with a pea. I've not seen Veronica the cat this morning. Who knows. I am sipping coffee and eating a cream doughnut. It is 53°F but the gusts (up to 20 mph) make it feel chilly. It also blows my hair into my face no matter which direction I face. But it also blows the scent of new foliage and flowers. Ah, Spring in Lawrence, who can resist it. --Alan Miller

Hope your weekend is full of fun, Never Snowflakes

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life. --Billy Connolly

Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Actually, it's the voices outside my head that bother me the most.

Rumor has it that the Bronze Bozo has antagonized European countries so much that they're threatening to release dirt gathered by their intelligence agencies on his connections to Epstein, ties to Russia, secret children, and more. Ϟ Just found out that PornHub is a Canadian company. If they blocked access in the US, this trade war would probably end prematurely. --Submitted by USDS

..........We'll soon break your windows and burn down your schools..........Billy Bragg …..The Times They Are Changin' Back

Trivia Questions: Merry Vernal Equinox

1. When was the last time the equinox was actually on March 21^st?

2. In which US state is sock burning a spring equinox festival?

3. What happens at the pyramid of Chicken-ita at sunrise on the equinox?

4. For what planet does NASA have a picture of the spring equinox?

5. Is it really easier to balance an egg upright during an equinox?

Big Hello: Ϲлaba Исусу Үристу (Slava Ysusu Chrysyu) – Rusyn (Central and Eastern Europe) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If boycotting Tesla is making conservatives buy electric vehicles, I think liberals should start boycotting books next and see if MAGA accidentally discovers reading. --Submitted by 98%

Image of the Week: Spring Hollyhock growth ...taken 24 hours before the next predicted blizzard...

Coffee Joke of the Week: 9 out of the 10 voices in my head agree that I need more coffee.

You can pray all you want but eventually David had to pick up a stone and act against Goliath. --Submitted by bu of ks ϟ Elon Chainsawhands –Submitted by ns of ks ϟ France says the American War of Independence funding was a loan, and is now demanding $140 trillion in interest. --Submitted by pg of oh

..........The emperor's got no clothes on.........Carole King …..One Small Voice

Moonbeam: Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive. --Charlotte Bronte

Blasphemy of the Week: It's interesting to note that all religions and sects advocate for avoiding ego; yet many consider themselves to be superior to the others which is inherently egotistical. --Submitted by MMS

Mental Meandering of the Week: I was reading how upset and sad and lost so many many people are feeling. When my playlist played Donovan's There Is A Mountain. In case you have forgotten or never knew it begins The lock upon my garden gate 's a snail, that what it is. And it reminded me of that luscious hippie love. The love that makes you slide a flower into the barrel of a rifle being pointed at you. When we are faced with hate that deep and cruelty this sharp we need love that precedes us by arms lengths and mercy enough to absorb any shock. Love big enough to deal with a hate that thinks itself much more powerful than it is, with a hate that seeks not just to hurt anyone vulnerable enough to be hurt but to make us hate too...by trick or by pure meanness. Yes, the whole world needs love now and always and as long as we can we should. It's the least we can do for this beautiful world. I also know that to surround yourself with that kind of love, that much love, all the time protects the person, the mind. It protects us from their hate and it protects us from our own hate. It keeps hate from growing inside. It keeps us from hating our neighbors and our enemies. A snail still locks my gate and anyone and everyone who is weary is welcome to rest there and feel the love. And even if she can protect me from all the hate she will happily spread life and leave a line of love behind.

Classics Lesson of the Week: Ever wondered why it's called The Iliad? Because Ilium was another name for Troy, and the -ad suffix was used to mean “The Story Of...” This means that, if you translated the title, The Iliad, literally it should be called Troy Story. --Submitted by UUHS

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: CNBC is calling Elon Musk's stock decline “The Tesla Chainsaw Massacre” --Submitted by 1stKAFB

Republicans: FYI, we are bombing France for being too gay and lead poisoning is now mandatory. Democrats: Yeah? Well prepare yourselves for several strongly worded haikus. ϟ Can we get the ePstein list? No, the best I can do is deport you if you criticize Israel. --Submitted by MMS

..........He blew up Cuba and he carpet bombed Montreal.........Loudon Wainwright II …..I Had A Dream

1) The last time the equinox was on the 21st of March, Barack Obama was gunning for the presidency, i.e. 2007. This is because we use the Gregorian calendar, and the placement of the equinox changes every other century. For those growing up with the equinox on the 21st, you won’t see that again until the 22nd century.

Almanac: It is Friday, March 21, 2025. The moon will enter the last quarter tomorrow (3/22) and it is on the Sagittarius/Capricorn cusp. Today is March 21 International Colour Day, International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination, World Poetry Day, International Day of Nowruz, World Down Syndrome Day, International Day of Forests and the Trees, National Fragrance Day, Memory Day, Smiley Day, National Common Courtesy Day, National Day of Action of Syringe Exchange, National Healthy Fats Day, National Single Parent Day, National Spray Tanning Day, Spring Fairy Fun Day, World Glacier Day, World Puppetry Day, World Sparrow Day, and World Vermouth Day.

Among those born on this day were Johann Sebastian Bach (1685), Francis Lewis (1713), Jean-Baptiste-Joseph Fourier (1768), James Jesse Strang (King of Mormons, 1813), Charlotte Bronte (1816), Modest Mussorgsky (1839), Florenz Ziegfeld (1869), Son House (Eddie James, 1902), Phyllis McGinley (1905), John D. Rockefeller III (1906), Harold Robbins (1916), Howard Cosell (1918), James Coco (1929), Gary Oldman (1958), Matthew Broderick (1962) and Rosie O'Donnell (1962).

On March twenty-first France adopted the Code of Napoleon (1804), the Baha'i Era-Baha'i began (1844), the Zoological Society of Philadelphia was incorporated (1859), the US invaded Honduras (1907), the Walter Kerr Theater opened (1921), Persia became Iran (1935), federal loyalty forms were implemented (1947), the first rock and roll concert ever was held (1952), and the NFL outlawed "celebrating" (1984),

Night Sky, 3/21: The evening is moonless, and the southern constellation Puppis, weakly highlighted by the winter Milky Way, is now, briefly, at its highest shortly after dark. Puppis is the stern (poop deck) of the legendary Greek ship Argo. The dim, northernmost stars of the stern's stick figure lie less than a fist-width to the left of the bright triangle forming Canis Major's tail and hindquarters. One of the loveliest offerings of Puppis is the 3rd-magnitude open cluster NGC 2451 way down below those top stars. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Family Fun

This Week: Saturday, March 22 – National Goof-Off Day & Talk Like William Shatner Day & Women Arts Day

Sunday, March 23 – Atheist Day & National Tamale Day & OK Day

Night Sky, 3/23: Draw a line from Castor through Pollux, follow it farther out by a big 26° (about 2½ fist-widths at arm's length), and you're at the dim head of Hydra, the Sea Serpent. In a dark sky it's a subtle but distinctive star grouping, about the width of your thumb at arm's length. Binoculars show it easily through light pollution. Continue that line farther by a fist and a half and you hit Alphard, Hydra's 2nd-magnitude orange heart.

Monday, March 24 – National Cocktail Day & World Tuberculosis Day

Tuesday, March 25 – All Womens' Equal Pay Day & Pecan Day & Tolkien Reading Day & Vaffeldagen (Waffle Day)

Wednesday, March 26 – Legal Assistants Day & Live Long And Prosper Day & National Science Appreciation Day & Purple Day

Night Sky, 3/26: Mars (about magnitude +0.1, near the heads of Gemini) comes into view in twilight as a steady orange spark very high toward the south. It continues to fade as it shrinks into the distance.

Thursday, March 27 – International Whisk(e)y Day & World Cheese Day & World Theater Day

Crappy Deim: What happens when you seize the wrong day. Ϟ Nearly all cyber trucks have been recalled because the Supreme Parasite used the wrong glue. Ϟ The Velveeta Voldemort & Fidget Dance Boy --Submitted by USDS The last capitalist to hang will be the one who sold us the rope. --Karl Marx

..........Your simple voodoo is so maniacal.........A Tribe Called Quest …..We The People

2) In Maryland, among the boating community, it is a tradition to wear socks only during the winter. Every year on the vernal equinox Annapolis yacht clubs, the maritime museum, dockyard workers, and even rangers at the Virginia State Parks celebrate the Burning of the Socks festival, welcoming warm waters back to the expansive Chesapeake Bay.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed. --Submitted by UUHS

Moonbeam: Words can sting like anything, but silence breaks the heart. --Phyllis McGinley

Fun Fact of the Week: The First Rock & Roll concert was organized by Alan Freed in Cleveland (OH) in 1952 and it was called the Moondog Coronation Ball.

Video of the Week: The Moondog Coronation Ball headliner was Paul Williams and the Hucklebucks seen here. https://youtu.be/Xn1rTNZtQNc

Peace-building over the long term requires the transformation of society, a transformation based on justice, involving education for all, the alleviation of poverty, and the abandonment of deeply rooted prejudices. --Baha'i Women Peace Process

Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating. --Simone Weil ϟ The road to hell is paved with republicans. --Submitted by js of bsky

..........Super calloused, fragile, egocentric.........Randy Rainbow …..Braggadocious

3) The shadows of Chicken-ita Pyramid, built in the 8th–12th century AD, are formed by the equinoctial sun and evoke the image of the “Sun Serpent” slithering down the north side of the pyramid. Other monuments like Stonehenge, Newgrange, built by the ancient Irish, Machu Picchu, and the Pyramid of Khafre, are also aligned with the equinox in unique ways. Picture

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't know about you, but I don't have any more passwords left in me. --Submitted by UUHS

Weird Word of the Week: Finifugal – someone who is afraid of finishing anything. https://parade.com/1195613/marynliles/funny-words/

Dragon of the Week: Spring Fairy Day Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Train a dog or cat to stop begging or chewing. Fill or coat a rawhide bone or toy with Cheez Whiz and offer the treat to your dog or cat. When the animal starts chewing on the toy, encourage her, repeating the word “Chew” with enthusiastic praise. Repeating this technique several times will eventually teach your pet to chew her toy whenever you say the word “Chew”. –-instead of begging for table scraps or chewing the furniture. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cheezwhiz.html

Tesla - Swasticar: Now with White Power Steering! --Submitted by Feminist News ϟ Yes, I know you'd like to afford basic necessities, keep vital programs, and not lose your retirement savings. Best I can do is a car commercial for the richest man on Earth. I'm helping him keep that title.

...........Talkin' colonizing Gaza from the White House lawn.........Macklemore …..F---ed Up

4) In 2009, NASA’s robotic spacecraft Cassini captured an image of a spring equinox on Saturn. The striking picture, made of a mosaic of images, took eight hours to capture. Picture

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Boycotts are not illegal. Peaceful political protest is not illegal. Everything Angry Ant doesn't like is not illegal. --Submitted by 98%

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Zenkaikon 2025 (20-23, Lancaster, PA) ...Panels, Programs, Special Events... https://zenkaikon.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Nvidia 2025 (18-21, San Jose, CA) Huang is expected to debut the company's latest flagship AI chip: the Blackwell Ultra https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/technology/nvidia-gtc-2025-what-to-expect-from-nvidias-biggest-event-of-the-year/ar-AA1B5lf9

Protest Sign of the Week: It Is Time To Use Our OUTSIDE Voices! --Held by a child

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Under a picture of the Life-sized Typo: Does this Ass make my country look small?

After his 8^th failed rocket attempt, I think it's safe to say tha Elon Musk has projectile dysfunction. Ϟ Are you disappointed that the egg prices he lowered were our nest eggs? Ϟ He says he's gonna buy a Tesla to encourage his base to buy Teslas. His base can't afford eggs & he can't drive a car. --Submitted by Feminist News

..........Ruth Bader Ginsberg's lost her mind..........Roy Zimmerman …..Psycho Tweeter

5) People who believe it’s only possible to balance an egg on the equinox or else think it’s somehow easier to balance an egg on either of these special dates attribute the effect to the celestial alignment of the Earth’s equator with respect to the Sun and plane of the solar system. In fact, the effect of the equinox on gravity or electromagnetic forces is much less significant than any air currents in a room or even the breathing and heartbeat of a person attempting to balance an egg. In 1947, Japanese physicist Ukichiro Nakaya performed an experiment demonstrating it’s possible to balance an egg any time of the year and not any easier on the vernal or autumnal equinox. He explained that the bumps and dimples in the egg’s surface touch a flat surface at enough points to support the egg’s center of mass.

Quote of the Week: I have abandoned all particular forms of devotion and prayer techniques. My only practice now is attention. --Brother Lawrence

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Six without s is nine. --Submitted by UUHS

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A Navajo walks into a bar in Tokyo. He says, “yah Ta abinni!” The bartender says, “Excuse me?” The Navajo repeats “Yatah Abinni” When the bartender says, “I don't understand.” The Navajo says, “Good, the code still works.” --Submitted by Pow Wow Nation

Today's Peace of History: March 21, 2003: The report of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of South Africa was released. The commission was led by the Reverend Desmond Tutu, a bishop in the Anglican Church, the first black General Secretary of the South African Council of Churches, and Nobel Peace Prize winner for his efforts to bring peace and justice to all South Africans. The Commission sought to go beyond truth-finding to promote national unity and reconciliation, to facilitate the granting of amnesty to those who made full factual disclosure, to restore the human and civil dignity of victims by providing them an opportunity to tell their own stories, and to make recommendations to the president on measures to prevent future human rights violations.

Jason Trumpauer Mulholland was 20 years old in 1961. She was arrested in Jackson, MS as one of the Freedom Riders. After her first arrest she was branded as “mentally ill” because authorities could not understand why a white woman would fight for civil rights. Ϟ “The economy is transitioning.” This is, obviously, caused by transgender mice? --Submitted by dw of -??

..........I believe it's coming from Washington DC..........Elvin Bishop's Fun Trio …..Something Smell's Funky 'Round Here

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, March 21, 2025, tHe aBsolute bEtterest ePistle eVer. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The shadows are as important as the light. --Charlotte Bronte

Cost of War:

As of 03/20/25 State Department Costs: $260,628,300,408

As of 03/13/25 State Department Costs: $260,071,850,602

As of 03/20/25 Homeland Security: $1,194,803,218,872

As of 03/13/25 Homeland Security: $1,194,198,708,094

As of 03/20/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,287,065,566,472

As of 03/13/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,285,511,276,262

As of 03/20/25 Military Costs: $3,136,901,758,848

As of 03/13/25 Military Costs: $3,135,721,681,729

As of 03/20/25 Veterans Care:$4,181,548,631,525

As of 03/13/25 Veterans Care: $4,169,768,777,604

As of 03/20/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,060,949,737,572

As of 03/13/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,014,067,392,409

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

So let us try, as an experiment, peace, and if the results of peace are bad, then we can choose if it would be better to go back to the old state of war! Let us in any case make the experiment. If we see that unity brings Light we shall continue it. For six thousand years we have been walking on the left-hand path; let us walk on the right-hand path now. We have passed many centuries in darkness, let us advance towards the light. --Abdu'l-Baha

Idea of the Week: We could close down the IRS and just pay Apartheid Clyde directly.

Famous Last Words: Amen; even so, come, Lord Jesus. --Charlotte Bronte Jane Eyre

..........He was lookin' for some votes to steal............Patrick Fitzgerald …..The Donald Was Called Down To Georgia

Looks like police are showing up to guard Tesla dealerships. Shame Uvalde didn't sell cars. Ϟ The Bronze Bozo just appointed the Grinch head of the Department of Christmas. Ϟ Steve Bannon looks that way because he's so wicked he's afraid to take a shower.

May Peace guide your action

And Joy attend your results

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

The world's anguish is no different from the love we insist on holding back. --Aberjhani

wEbbed ePistle

Famous First Words: Charles, by the grace of God... Massachusetts Bay Colony Charter

Welcome to Save The Spiders Day! My sister is a crafter. She makes tiny little boards out of birch bark so spiders can surf the web. Ж But then, my cousin bought a bunch tiny little electric cars so spider could go for a spin.

..........Up came the sun and dried up all the rain.........Everybody …..Itsy Bitsy Spider

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. --Albert Einstein

It is a breezy Friday morning. Southwest winds of up to 17 mph are whipping the naked tree branches into a frenzy and trying to move even the newly greened grass. They have blown all the clouds away and the newly rising sun illuminates crocus and daffodils. Birds singing matins have come and gone and a silence has descended waiting for the crows to visit. Puck has been out and back and is asleep under my desk. Veronica has sat silent in the open door watching the world and keeping an eye on Puck. She has disappeared into the small spaces in the house. The 60°F temperature is a delight. The world draped in spring and we are privileged to walk through it. For me the very best of it is writing to you.

Hope your weekend fun is unending, Pi Lovers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I doubt therefore I maybe.--Not Descartes

This administration has so many spin doctors they must use spiders. Ж My friend Spade's so is insecure that after he dies he wants to come back as a spider so he can hear people say “it's huge”.

..........Caught up on bad times.........Darren “Smoggy” Evans & Damon Albarn …..The Joplin Spider

Trivia Questions: Happy Potato Chip Day!

1. By whom or where or when was the Potato Chip invented (or discovered)?

2. What company (where or when) produced the first television ad for Potato Chips?

3. How many flavors of Doritos have there been over the years?

4. How many pounds (or kilograms) of Potato Chips were consumed during the Super Bowl?

5. How much do you think the potato chip industry was worth in 2022?

Big Hello: Здравствуйте! (Zdrastvuyte!)- Russian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Russia conquered Half of America faster than it conquered One Fifth of Ukraine. --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief

Image of the Week: Happy Birthday to Thomas Hart Benton who painted Achelous & Hercules which hung on the wall of Harzfeld's department store in downtown KCMO for years.

I just tried to kill a spider running across the floor with my shoe. I don't care how big the spider is, nobody steals my shoe. Ж Do you know what to call a spider with 20 eyes? Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider

..........You must heed the call of cosmobiology.........Frank Zappa …..Spider of Destiny

Moonbeam: By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. --Billy Crystal

Blasphemy of the Week: To be fair, a Bible signed by the Anti-Christ would be a real collector's item. --Submitted by UUHS

Coffee Humor of the Week: Coffee Saves Lives! Just ask my children.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: ...The Velveeta Voldemort (times 3)**Walking advertisement of stepping on a lego**life-sized typo**warm beer in a dirty glass**person-shaped pile of shame**Waste of perfectly good oxygen**The Bronze Bozo**DOGE SHIT**

People in Iran are scared of spiders, but in Iraq, no phobia. Ж I was going to buy my granddaughter a spider for her birthday but the cheapest one in the pet store was $50 and the most expensive was $115. I decided to find a cheap one on the web.

..........And all I sought was happiness.........Mew …..She Spider

1) The myth is that George Crum invented potato chips for Cornelius Vandrbilt in the 1850s. In fact, thin fried potatoes date back to boiling oil. The first published recipe for potato chips was in William Kitchiner's 1817 cookbook.

Almanac: It is Friday, March 14, 2025. The moon is full (Worm) today and is in Virgo. Today is International Ask A Question Day, International Day of Action for Rivers, International Day of Mathematics, MOTH-er Day, Potato Chip Day, Pi Day, Save a Spider Day, World Sleep Day, and Write your Story Day. New Mexico celebrates Arbor Day.

Among those born on this day were Thomas (Olde Bullion) Hart Benton (1782), Johann Strauss the Elder (1804), Lucy Hobbs Taylor (1833), Giovanni Schiaparelli (1835), Casey Jones (1864), Albert Einstein (1879), Les Brown (1912), Max Shulman (1919), Hank Ketcham (1920), Quincy Jones, Jr. (1933), Jerry Jeff Walker (1942), Rita Tushingham (1942), and Billy Crystal (1947).

On March fourteenth Massachusetts Bay Colony was chartered (1629), Providence Plantations (Rhode Island)was chartered (1644), Whitney patented the cotton gin (1794), Boston held its first town meeting (1843), the Mikado premiered (1885), Strindberg's Froken Julie premiered (1889), de Vries rediscovered Mendel's laws of genetics (1900), Serbia and Turkey signed a peace treaty (1914), Warren Harding became the first president to file an income tax report (1923), the first rear projection movie theater was built (1931), the Freedom Train arrived in San Francisco (1948), Khrushchev became Secretary of the Soviet Communist Party (1953), Satchel Paige signed with the Birmingham Black Barons (1956), Wilt Chamberlain set the NBA playoff record of 53 points (1960), Gordie Howe scored his 500th goal (1962), Gorbachev became president of the Soviet Congress (1990), and Farm Aid V aired (1992).

Night Sky,3/14: The very slightly gibbous Moon, less than a day past full, rises in twilight. As it climbs higher after dark, keep watch below it (by about two fists at arm's length) for springtime Spica to show up. Spica rises about 1½ to 2 hours after the Moon does, depending on your location. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Happy Days for Happy Boys

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People often mistake me for an adult because of my age. --Submitted by UUHS

This Week: Saturday, March 15 – Beware the Ides of March!

Sunday, March 16 – Black Press Day & Goddard Day & Lips Appreciation Day ^ National Panda Day

Night Sky 3/16: Jupiter shines bright white (magnitude –2.2) in Taurus, 36° west along the ecliptic from Mars. Jupiter dominates the high southwest after dusk near Aldebaran and the Pleiades. The triangle it makes with them is becoming isosceles, with the Pleiades forming the triangle's long point. Later in the evening Jupiter moves lower toward the west. It sets in the west-northwest around 2 am daylight-saving time.

Monday, March 17 – National Slime Day & St Patrick's Day

Tuesday, March 18 – 3-D Day*** & Awkward Moments Day & National Agriculture Day & World Social Work Day & Transit Driver Appreciation Day

***Third Day of the Third Week of the Third Month – 3-D Day

Wednesday, March 19 – Goddess of Fertility Day & Certified Nurses Day & Raspberry Day

Night Sky, 3/19: Venus (magnitude –4.5, in Pisces) is the bright "Evening Star" in the west in twilight. It's dropping lower day by day. On March 7th it sets a half hour after twilight's end, but by the 14th it's setting while the last of twilight is still in progress. Venus now shows its most dramatic phase: a remarkably thin crescent in a telescope or steadily braced binoculars. It narrows from a mere 8% sunlit on March 7th to just 4% on March 14th.

Thursday, March 20 – International Day of Happiness & Great American MeatOut Day & Alien Abduction Day

I have a pet spider and named him Spencer. I discovered he is musical and can regrow his limbs rather quickly. So I renamed him Allegro Ж The other day I found a spider in my shoes. She looked so stupid and wasn't able to stabilize the high heels.

..........And linoleum chickens are growing out west.........Meat Puppets …..The Spider and the Spaceship

2) Lays Potato Chips was the first company to advertise on television (1944).

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When a child says to dad, “I want Mommy” that's the equivalent of “I want to speak to your supervisor.” --Fuzzy Snail

Spark of Joy of the Week: In January of 2018 Jo and I as February Sisters held a women's march in Lawrence. Today I found a youtube video from South Park as people were beginning their march and then waiting to march. https://youtu.be/V5PGJKg6i2I It's about 6 minutes long. There is another tape of the march that I knew about. It's on vimeo. It's half an hour long and shows signs up close and stuff. I watched the two of them and it gave me such an uplift. So many of us, so beautiful, so powerful.

Moonbeam: It is the still, small voice that the soul heeds, not the deafening blasts of doom. --William Dean Howells

Fun Facts of the Week: The Freedom Train: An ALCO PA diesel-electric locomotive pulled a train, which carried the original versions of the United States Constitution, Declaration of Independence, Truman Doctrine, and the Bill of Rights on its tour of more than 300 cities in all 48 states. The 1940s Freedom Train exhibit was integrated—black and white viewers were allowed to mingle freely. When town officials in Birmingham, AL, and Memphis, TN, refused to allow blacks and whites to see the exhibits at the same time, the Freedom Train skipped the planned visits, amid significant controversy.

Video of the Week: Khrushchev beats the rhythmic shoe (1:00) https://youtu.be/aKdo1xwVK7shttps://youtu.be/aKdo1xwVK7s

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. --Albert Einstein

Two caterpillars are fleeing from a spider. They climb up a small branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped. “Hold on tight” says the first caterpillar, and she quickly chews through the branch until it snaps and they begin to fall. She grabs two protruding twigs and steers the leaf to the ground with finesse. “That's amazing, says the second caterpillar, “How the hell did you do that?” The first caterpillar scoffs. “Am I the only one in the whole forest who can drive a stick?”

..........And she been webbing all over town.........Muddy Waters …..Mean Red Spider

3) In the last 50 years there have been over 100 varieties of Doritos.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Any old AI can write a novel, but it takes a human to have writer's block. --Matt

Weird Word of the Week: Sozzled – drunk https://parade.com/1195613/marynliles/funny-words/

Dragons of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Condition hair and prevent split ends and frizzies. Massage Cheez Whiz into dry hair, cover with a shower cap for thirty minutes, then shampoo and rinse thoroughly. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cheezwhiz.html

I rejected 2 uses. One was putting Cheez Whiz on a burger instead of sliced cheese; but it seemed like an actual use, not a wacky one. The other suggested that eating Cheez Whiz before meals could help prevent plaque build up on the teeth. This sounds like something our new secretary of health would propose. //By the way, I have no intention of putting in my hair either.

My partner told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went, had a few drinks. Nice guy, really, web engineer. Ж A spider crawled on my computer. Don't worry, it's under ctrl.

..........I thought I'd lost my blues..........Jimmy Buffet …..Ballad of Spider John

4) Roughly 28,000,000 pounds (13,000,000 kg) of chips were eaten during the Super Bowl.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why do British people still eat like they're in the 1800s and don't have electricity? Why do Americans eat like they have free healthcare? --Submitted by FNOG

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Collective Con 2025 (14-16, Jacksonville, FL) a Pop Culture Convention https://www.collectivecon.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Mental Health and Treatment (13, Oklahoma City, OK) ...establish research or business relations as well as to find international linkage for future collaborations in their career path. https://conferencealert.com/eventdetail/1249834

Protest Sign of the Week: Trump is so far up Putin's ass he can see Sarah Palin's house

Even Better Protest Sign of the Week: I'd call #47 * a c*nt but he lacks the depth and warmth. (I put this on my facebook page and the next day it wasn't available, which the hidden powers said probably didn't have proper permission to share. Hogwash, several people saw it.) By the way, I'm not going to put his name in the ePistle anymore. I will use one of the many wonderful euphemisms available to me.

Still Another Good Protest Sign of the Week: Without Hermione Harry Would Die In Book 1 (International Women's Day March)

Spira Spider has an incredible electronic web. The web lets her know if links are getting weak and alerts her of any catches. She doesn't have to sit in the middle of the web anymore. She has an office further up the tree. Oh, and she has androids that rush out and wrap up anything caught it in. Now she wants to design one for my house and charge me 4 cups of flies per month.

..........Now you'll feel him crawling over you.........Ozzie Osbourne …..Spider in the Night

5) Worldwide, the market value of potato chips was around $40.3 billion in 2022.

Late Night Joke of the Week: Trump gave his first presidential address to congress on Tuesday. The night was pretty much a welcome back party for Trump, republicans, and measles. --Jimmy Fallon

Quote of the Week: “In the end, F(Felon)OTUS’s first address to Congress was much like his first six weeks: Filled with useful lies and applauded by useless idiots.” --Stephen Colbert

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet all of my needs.

Today's Peace of History: March 14, 1970: During a second attempt by Native American activists to claim Fort Lawton (about 50 miles south of Seattle, Washington), 78 were arrested for entering the site. United Indians for All Tribes was demanding the city give the unused facility to Native Americans for use as a cultural center. One week earlier about the same number had been arrested for occupying what had been declared federal surplus property. The Daybreak Star Cultural Center is now operating on the site.

How do spiders mate? Are they monogamous? Do they have big fancy webbings? Ж Spider mothers get to say to their children, “You don't spend enough time on the web.”

..........Its web was also unique..........David Bowie …..Glass Spider

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, March 14, 2025, wEbbed ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The first thing you will notice upon entering Spain is the absence of sibilants. In Spain “s” is pronounced “th” and thereby hangs a tale. Until the reign of Philip IV—or Guy Fawkes, as he was sometimes called—Spaniards said “s” just like everybody else. Philip IV, however, lisped, and Spaniards^ having an ingrained sense of propriety and not wishing to embarrass their monarch, decided that everybody should lisp. This did indeed put Philip IV very much at ease, but in the end it turned out to be a very bad thing for Spain. It wrecked the sassafras industry—Spain’s principal source of revenue—and reduced the nation to a second-class power. --Max Schulman

Cost of War:

As of 03/13/25 State Department Costs: $260,071,850,602

As of 03/04/25 State Department Costs: $259,349,814,646

As of 03/13/25 Homeland Security: $1,194,198,708,094

As of 03/04/25 Homeland Security: $1,193,414,497,021

As of 03/13/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,285,511,276,262

As of 03/04/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,283,494,515,825

As of 03/13/25 Military Costs: $3,135,721,681,729

As of 03/04/25 Military Costs: $3,134,190,351,661

As of 03/13/25 Veterans Care: $4,169,768,777,604

As of 03/04/25 Veterans Care:$4,154,478,435,028

As of 03/13/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,014,067,392,409

As of 03/04/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,024,929,318,078

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. --Albert Einstein

Famous Last Words: ...when I can smile at Satan's rage and face this frowning world. Thank you. --Fanny Lou Hamer's We're On Our Way speech Fanny Lou Hamer is one of my greatest sheros. She died on March 14, 1977

..........Hanging by a little thread.........The Who …..Boris the Spider

Sirius Spider got a job with Microsoft. He spins their web. Ж Peter Parker was jumping around taking pictures, did you know he got his degree is Web Design?

May Peace design your pattern

And Joy spin your web

prairie mama

christine

Last Laughs: