bIrthday ePistle

 Famous First Words: The City of Los Angeles shall continue... Incorporation Charter of Los Angles

Tomorrow I will be 81. Somehow, I thought getting old would take longer. °° So I'm an octogenarian which is Latin for “Holy Crap, I'm 80”. °° I'm at the age where if I wake up and nothing hurts, I assume I'm dead. °° I might be too old to learn new tricks; but my old tricks work just fine.

I'm so old I remember the Grand Canyon when it was just a ditch.

..........Like a circle round the sun.........Muddy Waters …..All Night Long

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. --Maya Angelou

It is gray Friday morning. The temperature of 46°F is not cold but the 10 mph northwest wind makes it seem so. The sky is heavily overcast and the ground is wet from overnight rains. The wind is keeping the willow branches in constant motion, writhing and dancing in the cool spring air. Puck went out, barked a little, and came back in to sleep on this pile of blankets on top of a pillow. (Prince and the Pea ?) I am drinking treated decaf and eating mini blueberry muffins. The warm coffee tickles my nose when I bring the cup to my face. I think it is part of what I like about warm liquids in the morning. Wow, the furnace just kicked in; even the equipment thinks it's a chilly morning. The roar of the fan blocks out any birdsong that would make it through the door. So I turned on music. Pack Up Your Sorrows by Richard & Mimi Farina. Are we ready for a great weekend?

Hope your weekend is a reason to celebrate, party animals

Best of luck is you are peacefully protesting tomorrow. Stay safe.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I went to an antiques auction yesterday. Three people bid on me. --Submitted by jm of ks

Absurdity of the Week: Donald Trump's tariff list includes 10% on the McDonald Islands which are inhabited solely by penguins. The era of penguins ruining our economy by flooding the market with cheap krill is over. --Submitted by sh of

My 80s, the Snapdragon period of life: My mind has snapped and the rest of me is draggin'. °° In your 80s time speeds up...times you need to pee in a day...times you don't remember why you came into the kitchen...times for a nap. °° My bank has begun to send me their free calendar – one month at a time.

I'm so old the first concert I went to was at Stonehenge.

..........I hope you're ready for me.........Muddy Waters …..I'm Ready

Trivia Questions: It's National D.A.R.E. Day

1. What do the letters D.A.R.E stand for?

2. How long has D.A.R.E been around?

3. What is prevention science?

4. What was the typical D.A.R.E meeting like?

5. How effective is D.A.R.E?

Big Hello: Malō – Samoan https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Drinking a large amount of water every day helps you avoid other people's drama because you're too busy peeing. Stay Hydrated! --Submitted by UUHS

Image of the Week: My official birthday portrait. I'm singing at a Save Democracy Rally in South Park, Lawrence, KS 3/30/35. Oddly, I'm the one on the extreme right.

Question of the Week: If poison is past its expiry date, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

I am swift as a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a land rover. Seven days ago. --Submitted by jm of ks °° You're Only Old Once: A book for Obsolete Children by Dr Seuss. °° My new all nighter means that I didn't have to get up to pee.

I'm so old my driver's license is carved in stone.

..........Well, you're having a good time now.........Muddy Waters …..Gypsy Woman

Moonbeam: What is man? … What a strange union of matter and mind! A machine for converting materials into spiritual force. --Benjamin Peirce

Blasphemy of the Week: God is always trying to give us good things, but our hands are too full to receive them." --St Augustine --Submitted by js of kc

Coffee Joke of the Week: I run on Coffee, Chaos, and Cuss words.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: CVS has their Gillette razors under more security than Pete Hegseth's war plans. --Submitted by Feminist News

Last week my son turned 59. But I've explained to him that he can't have any more birthdays because it sounds older to say, “My son is sixty.” than “I'm 81.” °° No one can use the “keep that up and you'll die young” argument against me anymore. °° I get “butt wiggle”, “bingo wing flap”, and “boob wobble”; and that's just while I'm brushing my teeth.

I'm so old my birth certificate has expired.

..........Well, all whiskey and women would not let me pray.........Muddy Waters …..Rollin' and Tumblin'

1) D.A.R.E. = Drug Abuse Resistance Education

Almanac: It is Friday, April 4, 2025. The moon enters the first quarter tomorrow and is in Cancer. Today is International Day for Mine Awareness & Assistance in Mine Action, Hospital Admitting Clerks Day, International Kids Yoga Day, National D.A.R.E. Day, Victims of Violence Wholly Day, Vitamin C Day, and World Rat Day, Because it is the first Friday in April it is also National Day of No Silence. In Massachusetts it is Student Government Day.

Among those born on this day were Marcus Aureius Antoniius (188), Dorothea Dix (1802), Benjamin Pierce (1809), Linus Yale (1821), Nikolai Amani (1872), Arthur Murray (1895), John Cameron Swayze (1906). Ernestine Gilbreth Carey (1908), Muddy Waters (McKinley Morganfield, 1915), Eric Rohmer (1920), Gil Hodges (1924), Eva Marie Saint (1924), Cloris Leachman (1926), Maya Angelou (Marguerite Johnson , 1928), Peter Attenborough (1938), Craig T. Nelson (1946), Christine Lahti (1950), and Robert Downy Jr. (1965).

On April fourth Francis Drake was knighted (1581), the city of Los Angeles was incorporated (1850), Golden Gate Park was established (1870), vitamin C was first isolated (1932), Faisal II ascended to throne of Iraq (1939), the first demonstration against nuclear weapons was held (1958), Senegal declared independence (1960), the first artificial heart was implanted (1969), the first electric power plant fueled by garbage began operating (1972), Winston Smith began his secret diary (1984), and Kansas beat Oklahoma to win the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship (1988).

Night Sky, 4/4: The first quarter moon this evening shines under Castor, Pollus, and Mars. They seem to move faster near the zenith than on the horizon. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max is batting leadoff for Bennie's Jets and Ollie is Caesar

  

This Week: Saturday, April 5 – International Day of Conscience & International Pillow Fight Day & Slow Art Day

Sunday, April 6 – Dictionary Day & New Beers Eve & Tartan Day

Night Sky, 4/6: The Big Dipper is high in the northeast these evenings, tipping over to the left dumping its water. Its handle and the two stars of its bowl closest to the handle form a broad, rough arc. To the right of it, somewhat near the focus of that arc, shines a lone 3rd-magnitude star. That's Cor Caroli, the brightest star of Canes Venatici. It's a beautiful telescopic double, magnitudes 2.9 and 5.6, separation 19 arcseconds. They're spectral types B and G, respectively.

Monday, April 7 – Metric System Day & International Beaver Day & No Housework Day

Tuesday, April 8 – National Be Kind to Lawyers Day & National Library Day & Trading Card for Grown-Ups Day

Wednesday, April 9 – Appomattox Day & Jumbo Day & National Unicorn Day

Night Sky, 4/9: Jupiter shines bright white (magnitude –2.1) high in the west these evenings, in Taurus 38° lower right of Mars along the ecliptic. This week Jupiter shines midway between Aldebaran below it and Beta Tauri (El Nath) above it. This line of three turns straight on April 1st and 2nd.

Thursday, April 10 – ASPCA Day & Poem In Your Pocket Day & Safety Pin Day & Take Action For Libraries Day

I've given up eating healthy food. I can use all the preservatives I can get. °° 80 is the age where you can get by with forgetting absolutely anything you want – names, relationships, who wrote Shakespeare's sonnets. °° I remember the words to every Beatles song but I'm not sure of my address.

I'm so old my memories are in black and white.

..........I don't see a doggone thing.........Muddy Waters …..I Can't Get Satisfied

2) D.A.R.E. Began in Los Angeles in 1984 for middle-schools and 1989 for high schools. It went national in 1989.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.

Moonbeam: Brains are still unfashionable for women to wear, and it has always been proof of women's superiority that the more intelligent a man is, the more women admire him, while the bigger fool a woman is, the more men run after her. --Dorothea Dix

Fun Fact of the Week: Corey Booker held the senate floor (24 hrs) longer than JD Vance was in Greenland (3 hr).

Video of the Week: In Honor of World Rat Day (31): https://youtu.be/9Gtr8GatGIk

Open your eyes to the beauty around, open your mind to the wonders of life, open your heart to those who love you and always be true to yourself. --Maya Angelou

I'm so old I still owe Moses a few bucks.

Who needs presents when you've got 80 years of hilarious memories. °° As an octogenarian I strive to keep my joints as flexible as my attitude. °° It is said that wisdom comes with age, but it is possible it is only selective memory. °° Senior Center games: Trying to guess what your tattoo was originally.

..........I feel like ballin' the jack.........Muddy Waters …..I Feel So Good

3) Prevention Science is the scientific study and evaluation of prevention curricula). It emerged as a field of science in the 1990. Columbia University's Dr Herbert Kleber led the program. Some studies were also made independent of D.A.R.E.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you don't like the United States why don't you just leave? Because I don't want to be a victim of its Foreign Policy. --Submitted by MMS

Weird Word of the Week: Skirl – To play on the bagpipes. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/skirl

Dragon of the Week: The oldest known image of a dragon is this Hongshan Jade Dragon dated to around 5,000 years ago.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Feed pill medication to a dog or cat. Place the pill in the palm of your hand, smother it with Cheez Whiz, and let your dog or cat lap up the cheese, oblivious to the fact that she's also consumed the pill. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cheezwhiz.html

I'm so old my baby pictures are cave drawings.

In your 80s every day is a new adventure: Where did you leave your keys? How long do you boil an egg? Who are you? °° Being 81 is kind of like being a tortoise on caffeine. °° Everyday I wake up feeling like it's the day after even though there was no night before.

...........I got mojo too.........Muddy Waters …..You're Hoochie Coochie Man

4. A typical D.A.R.E meeting usually involved a police officer coming to school to talk about drugs and alcohol. The cop would also tell kids about the over 9000 chemicals in tobacco. Then, the cop pulls out a dollar bill that they likely took out of their child's piggy bank, and burns it to try and show how people burn away their money on cigarettes. Little did they know that destroying or defacing currency is a crime.

~~My grammar checker is unable to deal with the period after the E in D.A.R.E.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I have officially passed the “you look good for your age” stage; now it's “Oh, you're still alive!”

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Awesome Con 2025 (4-6, Washington DC) ...bringing together 60,000 fans... https://awesome-con.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 33^rd European Congress of Psychiatry (5-8, Madrid, Spain) The EPA is honoured to announce that Her Majesty Queen Letizia of Spain has graciously accepted the Honorary Presidency of the 33rd European Congress of Psychiatry. https://epa-congress.org/

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember. --Terry Pratchett

Spark of Joy of the Week: Demonstration organized by children (:44) https://youtu.be/nDqS7RhWYp8

I'm so old my birthstone is lava.

When Mr Berman, my father's friend, turned 80, the children in the neighborhood started breaking into his house to steal his glasses. °° The prize for living this long is Atrophy. °° I used to wake up feeling like a million bucks, now it's more like a bounced check.

..........I hear a lot of buzzing.........Muddy Waters …..Honey Bee

5) There are numerous studies that don't support the program as a drug abuse deterrent: When it comes to marijuana specifically, 5.8% of 8^th graders, 13.8% of 10th graders, and 19.4% of seniors were using it in 2008. Just five years later, those figures increased to 7%, 18%, and 22.7%.

Protest Sign of the Week: A Woman's Place Is In The Resistance

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Abort Unwanted Presidents

Quote of the Week: I'm confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living. --Katt Williams

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They say white people don't have their own culture but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog and there's no way we appropriated that from anyone else. --@BigRadMachine

Today's Peace of History: April 4, 1969: CBS cancelled “The Smothers Brothers' Comedy Hour," a television show which featured edgy political satire and such rock bands as the Beatles, the Who, Jefferson Airplane and the Doors. The brothers had refused to censor a comment made by Joan Baez. She wanted to dedicate a song to her husband, David, who was about to go to jail for objecting to the draft during the Vietnam War. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdmlMnh5Zeo

I'm so old I babysat God when he was a toddler.

Octogenarians are great multitaskers. For instance, I can sneeze and pee at the same time with no trouble at all. °° The older I get the earlier it gets late. °° You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking ”I may as well pee while I'm here”.

..........Back down the road I'm goin'.........Muddy Waters …..Rolling Stone

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, April 4, 2025, bIrthday ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Often injustice lies in what you aren't doing, not only in what you are doing. --Marchus Aurelius

Cost of War:

As of 04/03/25 State Department Costs: $261,744,745,476

As of 03/27/25 State Department Costs: $261.183,218,722

As of 04/03/25 Homeland Security: $1,196,015,933,585

As of 03/27/25 Homeland Security: $1,195,405,957,996

As of 04/03/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,290,184,012,817

As of 03/27/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,288,615.546.487

As of 04/03/25 Military Costs: $3,139,269,433,213

As of 03/27/25 Military Costs: $3,138,078,607,284

As of 04/03/25 Veterans Care: $4,205,186,909,447

As of 03/27/25 Veterans Care: $4,193,298,608,405

As of 04/03/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,092,403,192,668

As of 03/27/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,076,584,432,630

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Each one of us has lived through some devastation, some loneliness, some weather superstorm or spiritual superstorm, when we look at each other we must say, I understand. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself. We must support each other and empathize with each other because each of us is more alike than we are unalike. --Maya Angelou

Famous Last Words: He loved big brother. --George Orwell 1984

..........Well, bye-bye, baby, I hope we meet again.........Muddy Waters …..You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

When I die and my atoms become free, I hope they travel the universe I never got to see.

The fire marshal sent me a letter. I assumed it was a birthday card, but it was a notice that my birthday cake would be a fire hazard and it had been banned. °° There is hope, you're only as old as you remember you are. °° There's a certain age where you can no longer use the term “Good girl gone bad”. It's more like “her old ass should know better”.

May your begin each day

And your Joy last a lifetime

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Love is the whole thing. We are only pieces. --Rumi

wIll's ePistle 2025

 Famous First Words: Every day the factory whistle bellowed... --Maxim Gorky Mother

Welcome to Shakespeare Week (24-30)! A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality. ₤ Methink'st thou are a general offence and every man should beat thee. --Shakespeare All's Well That Ends Well

..........Pour myself a cup of ambition.........Dolly Parton …..Nine To Five

You have the God-given right to kick government around - don't hesitate to do so. --Edmund Muskie

It is a gorgeous (67°F) Friday morning. The sky is populated with fluffy white clouds. For visuals a stiff breeze is blowing the willow branches with their newly sprouted leaves, and green is busting out all over. Puck has been out to greet the day and to greet Bruno; but now he sleeps under my desk. Veronica celebrated National Respect Your Cat Day by lying in the open backdoor and respecting the nature she saw there. I have been out to take deep breaths of fresh air and say good morning to my luscious hollyhock plants. All around a great morning. For a soundtrack birds are singing and/or cawing and/or crowing. The smell of new growth wafts about on the winds and conjures thoughts of flower gardens and spring. For taste I have a blueberry muffin; it smells good as well. Ah, and we are still a month away from the darling buds of May.

I prithee, accept mine humble salutation, gentle souls.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If empathy is a sin; sin boldly. --Submitted by gr of oh

You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish, O, for breath to utter what is like thee! You tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck. ₤ Thou leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch. Shakespeare Henry IV Part 1

..........They say “sing while you slave” but I just get bored.........Bob Dylan …..Maggie's Farm

Trivia Questions: Happy 231^st Birthday to the Louvre!

1. The museum is big! How many square feet or meters of exhibition space does it contain?

2. How many of the 9 categories of art are housed in the Louvre?

3. What do you know about the Glass Pyramid?

4. What percentage of the paintings in the Louvre are by French artists?

5. How many people visit the Louvre each year?

Big Hello: бирибиэт (biribiet) – Sakha (Russian) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I always love it when people say “baby steps!” to imply they're being tentative, when actually baby steps are a great unbalanced, wholehearted, enthusiastic lurch into the unknown. --Olivia Smith --Submitted by WWRWM

Image of the Week: Doot, doot, doot, lookin' out my backdoor.

Coffee Joke of the Week: Rise and Grind! It's Coffee Time!

Away, you three inch fool. ₤ Come, come, you froward and unable worms. --Shakespeare The Taming Of The Shrew

..........Livin' on money that I ain't made yet.........The Vogues …..Five O'clock World

Moonbeam: Life is supposed to be about making the path a little gentler for those traveling behind you. --Reba McEntire

Blasphemy of the Week: I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God. --Kabir

Aging Joke of the Week: I know I'm getting older but, please, stop introducing me as “Oh, this old thing”.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Who lacks sex speaks about sex, hungry talks about food, a person who has no money - about money, and our oligarchs and bankers talk about morality. --Sigmund Freud

Aroint thee, go away, rump-fed runion. ₤ Thou cream faced loon. --Shakespeare Macbeth

..........The money, the game and all the acclaim.........The Birds …..So You Want To Be A Rock And Roll Star

1) There is an impressive 782,910 square feet aka 72,735 square meters of exhibition space on four floors. This makes it one of the world's largest museums.

Almanac: It is Friday, March 28, 2025. The moon will be new tomorrow (3/29) and is in Aries. Today is Barnum & Bailey Day, Endometriosis March Day, National Triglycerides Day, National Respect Your Cat Day, and Weed Appreciation Day.

Among those born on this day were Raphael (1483 – the artist, not the turtle), Theresa of Avila (1515), George Ludwig (1660), Johann Andre (1741), Maxim Gorki (1868), Clara Lemlich (1886), Paul Whiteman (1890), Marlin Perkins (1905), A. Bertran Chandler (1912), Edmund S. Muskie (1914), Dirk Bogarde (1821), Marianne Fredriksson (1927), Ken Howard (1944), Dianne Wiest (1948), and Reba McEntire (1955).

On March twenty-eighth the Louvre opened to the public (1794), the first ambulance services opens for business (1866), Goddard first controlled his rocket with gyros (1935), the first national Curling Championship was held (1957), and Wilt Chamberlain played his last pro-basketball game (1972).

Night Sky, 3/28: Now that it's spring, have you met the Leo Triplet? 3 fine spiral galaxies magnitudes 9 to 10, fit into a 1° eyepiece view in the hind leg of leo. https://sky-tonight.com/object/constellation/Leo

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Fixing the hole … where the stuff gets out

This Week: Saturday, March 29 – Smoke and Mirrors Day & World Piano Day

Night Sky, 3/39: Partial Solar Eclipse – Visible in the north eastern US, Greenland, Iceland, and Europe... https://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/solar/2025-march-29

Sunday, March 30 – International Day of Zero Waste & Mothering Sunday & Pencil Day

Monday, March 31 – Bunsen Burner Day & Cesar Chavez Day & National Crayon Day

Tuesday, April 1 – All Fools Day & Library Snapshot Day & National Fun Day & St Stupid Day

Night Sky, 4/1: The 10% illuminated moon will be close to Uranus (mag 5.8). It will also be in conjunction with the Pleiades constellation. https://starwalk.space/en/news/astronomy-calendar-2025#astronomical-events-in-april-2025

Wednesday, April 2 – National Walking Day & Reconciliation Day & World Autism Day

Thursday, April 3 - Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day & Tweed Day

If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them. ₤ I am pigeon-liver'd and lack gall. --Shakespeare Hamlet

..........Lord, I'm tired. How long can this go on..........Leo Dorsey …..Working In A Coal Mine

2) The Louvre divides its art into the following categories: 1) Permanent Collection 2) Egyptian Antiquities 3) Near Eastern Antiquities 4) Greek, Etruscan, and Roman Antiquities 5) Islamic Art 6) Sculpture 7) Decorative Arts 8) Paintings 9) Prints and Drawings.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Book Burning Festival was called off because nobody had any. --Our Town Cartoons

Moonbeam: Make sure you're always giving, way more than you're taking. --Reba McEntire

Fun Facts of the Week: March 28, 1982: The first NCAA Women's Basketball Championship was held. Louisiana Tech beat Cheney 76-62.

Video of the Week: To Be or Not To Be – Unsolicited Advice with Benedict Cumberbatch, Judi Dench, Ian McKellen, David Tenant, Tim Minchin, Rory Kinnear, Paapa Essiedu, and King Charles III formerly known as Prince Charles. (1:10)

Every part of the journey is of importance to the whole. --Teresa of Avila

I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets. ₤ Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage. --Shakespeare As You Like It

..........All the livelong day.........Pete Seeger …..I've Been Working On The Railroad

3) The Glass Pyramid was designed by I M Pei and completed in 1989. It serves as the main entrance and covers 95,000 square feet (8,825 square meters).

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Ice skating is just walking in cursive. --Submitted by UUHS

Weird Word of the Week: Smaze – smoke and haze https://parade.com/1195613/marynliles/funny-words/

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove blood stains from fabrics. Smear Cheez Whiz over the blood stained clothes or sheets, let sit for five minutes, then toss in your regular wash. The enzymes in the Cheez Whiz clean the blood stains from fabrics. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cheezwhiz.html ~~But the question is: does it clean it well enough to get you through a murder investigation?

Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon. ₤ I'll beat thee, but I would infect my hands. --Shakespeare Timon of Athens

...........Drivin' that train, high on cocaine.........The Grateful Dead …..Casey Jones

4) 66% of the paintings are works by French Artists. Of all the 5,500 paintings by 1,400 artists it is believed that over 500 names are French by birth.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Can we make the Hair Mussolini** family businesses crash like tesla? Maybe the bank will repossess his hair. **One of Jimmy Kimmel's 75 Hilarious Nicknames ...

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Power On Con 2025 (28-30, Colorado Springs, CO) ...Jessica Steen and Tim Dunigah https://www.poweroncon.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 16^th Workshop on Breakdown Science and High Gradient Accelerator Technology (24-28, Mérida, Mexico) ...linear collider applications https://indico.fnal.gov/event/65159/

My Joke of the Week: Know who buys American? Putin.

You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe! ₤ You are as a candle, the better burnt out. --Shakespeare Henry IV Part 2

..........She died and was buried in dirt.........Dawn Landes …..The Housewife's Lament

5) Approximately 8.9 million people visit the museum each year.

Protest Sign of the Week: Childhood Vaccines Cause Adulthood

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Toto, I Don't Think We're In A Democracy Anymore

Quote of the Week: The inferiority of women is man-made. --Helen Keller

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My mind is like someone emptied the kitchen junk drawer onto a trampoline. --Submitted by HumorThought

Today's Peace of History: Today's Peace of History, March 28, 1799: The New York state legislature enacted a law mandating the gradual end of slavery. Children of slaves would not be emancipated until they had served their parent’s “holder” and reached their mid-twenties.

Thou lump of foul deformity. ₤ Thou are unfit for any place but hell. --Shakespeare Richard III

..........It's home from work we go.........The Seven Dwarfs …..Heigh Ho

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, March 28, 2025, wIll's ePistle 2025. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Again it's time to pray for peace. --Reba McEntire

Cost of War:

As of 03/27/25 State Department Costs: $261.183,218,722

As of 03/20/25 State Department Costs: $260,628,300,408

As of 03/27/25 Homeland Security: $1,195,405,957,996

As of 03/20/25 Homeland Security: $1,194,803,218,872

As of 03/27/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,288,615.546.487

As of 03/20/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,287,065,566,472

As of 03/27/25 Military Costs: $3,138,078,607,284

As of 03/20/25 Military Costs: $3,136,901,758,848

As of 03/27/25 Veterans Care: $4,193,298,608,405

As of 03/20/25 Veterans Care:$4,181,548,631,525

As of 03/27/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,076,584,432,630

As of 03/20/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,060,949,737,572

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

When our patterns are threatened by new facts, reason is seldom the victor. --Marianne Fredriksson

Famous Last Words: I want to go. God take me. -Dwight D Eisenhower who died March 28, 1969

.........I ain't working here no more.........Johnny Paycheck …..Take This Job And Shove It --Today's songs in honor of Laugh At Work Week (1-7)

Thy sin's not accidental, but a trade. --Measure for Measure ₤ Thy tongue out-venoms all the worms of Nile. --Cymbeline ₤ Heaven truly knows that thou are false as hell. --Othello ₤ Villain, I have done thy mother. --Titus Andronicus (Shakespeare)

May hourly Peace be still upon you

And a Flock of Joy light upon your back

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

tHe vEry bEtterest ePistle eVer

Famous First Words: The laws are executory... French Civil Code aka Code of Napoleon

We have to keep our spirits up, Right? Whoever started calling the cyber trucks Deploreans? I owe you a drink. Ϟ Perhaps for the first time in history you can simply post, “He's an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you're talking about. Ϟ MOTUS – Moron of the United States --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief

..........I like white folks but I don't like you.........Nipsey Hussle …..FDT (F*ck D*nald T*ump)

These are the darkest hours before the break of day, Peace, as promised will come at night's end. Press on to meet the dawn. --Baha'i Ridvan Message

It is a cloudy Friday morning. The willow branches have freshly sprouted leaf buds lining the thin switches that are blowing in the spring breeze. A hawk was perched there for a while but she's moved on. A bluejay takes her place and sits rocking with the wind. Puck has checked out the backyard making it safe for rabbits and other rarely seen wildlife. (The wood pile I attempted to build for said wildlife has blown back to being tree limbs all over the yard.) Now Puck sleeps on a pile of blankets as if he is the princess with a pea. I've not seen Veronica the cat this morning. Who knows. I am sipping coffee and eating a cream doughnut. It is 53°F but the gusts (up to 20 mph) make it feel chilly. It also blows my hair into my face no matter which direction I face. But it also blows the scent of new foliage and flowers. Ah, Spring in Lawrence, who can resist it. --Alan Miller

Hope your weekend is full of fun, Never Snowflakes

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Get wasted all the time, and you'll have the time of your life. --Billy Connolly

Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Actually, it's the voices outside my head that bother me the most.

Rumor has it that the Bronze Bozo has antagonized European countries so much that they're threatening to release dirt gathered by their intelligence agencies on his connections to Epstein, ties to Russia, secret children, and more. Ϟ Just found out that PornHub is a Canadian company. If they blocked access in the US, this trade war would probably end prematurely. --Submitted by USDS

..........We'll soon break your windows and burn down your schools..........Billy Bragg …..The Times They Are Changin' Back

Trivia Questions: Merry Vernal Equinox

1. When was the last time the equinox was actually on March 21^st?

2. In which US state is sock burning a spring equinox festival?

3. What happens at the pyramid of Chicken-ita at sunrise on the equinox?

4. For what planet does NASA have a picture of the spring equinox?

5. Is it really easier to balance an egg upright during an equinox?

Big Hello: Ϲлaba Исусу Үристу (Slava Ysusu Chrysyu) – Rusyn (Central and Eastern Europe) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If boycotting Tesla is making conservatives buy electric vehicles, I think liberals should start boycotting books next and see if MAGA accidentally discovers reading. --Submitted by 98%

Image of the Week: Spring Hollyhock growth ...taken 24 hours before the next predicted blizzard...

Coffee Joke of the Week: 9 out of the 10 voices in my head agree that I need more coffee.

You can pray all you want but eventually David had to pick up a stone and act against Goliath. --Submitted by bu of ks ϟ Elon Chainsawhands –Submitted by ns of ks ϟ France says the American War of Independence funding was a loan, and is now demanding $140 trillion in interest. --Submitted by pg of oh

..........The emperor's got no clothes on.........Carole King …..One Small Voice

Moonbeam: Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive. --Charlotte Bronte

Blasphemy of the Week: It's interesting to note that all religions and sects advocate for avoiding ego; yet many consider themselves to be superior to the others which is inherently egotistical. --Submitted by MMS

Mental Meandering of the Week: I was reading how upset and sad and lost so many many people are feeling. When my playlist played Donovan's There Is A Mountain. In case you have forgotten or never knew it begins The lock upon my garden gate 's a snail, that what it is. And it reminded me of that luscious hippie love. The love that makes you slide a flower into the barrel of a rifle being pointed at you. When we are faced with hate that deep and cruelty this sharp we need love that precedes us by arms lengths and mercy enough to absorb any shock. Love big enough to deal with a hate that thinks itself much more powerful than it is, with a hate that seeks not just to hurt anyone vulnerable enough to be hurt but to make us hate too...by trick or by pure meanness. Yes, the whole world needs love now and always and as long as we can we should. It's the least we can do for this beautiful world. I also know that to surround yourself with that kind of love, that much love, all the time protects the person, the mind. It protects us from their hate and it protects us from our own hate. It keeps hate from growing inside. It keeps us from hating our neighbors and our enemies. A snail still locks my gate and anyone and everyone who is weary is welcome to rest there and feel the love. And even if she can protect me from all the hate she will happily spread life and leave a line of love behind.

Classics Lesson of the Week: Ever wondered why it's called The Iliad? Because Ilium was another name for Troy, and the -ad suffix was used to mean “The Story Of...” This means that, if you translated the title, The Iliad, literally it should be called Troy Story. --Submitted by UUHS

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: CNBC is calling Elon Musk's stock decline “The Tesla Chainsaw Massacre” --Submitted by 1stKAFB

Republicans: FYI, we are bombing France for being too gay and lead poisoning is now mandatory. Democrats: Yeah? Well prepare yourselves for several strongly worded haikus. ϟ Can we get the ePstein list? No, the best I can do is deport you if you criticize Israel. --Submitted by MMS

..........He blew up Cuba and he carpet bombed Montreal.........Loudon Wainwright II …..I Had A Dream

1) The last time the equinox was on the 21st of March, Barack Obama was gunning for the presidency, i.e. 2007. This is because we use the Gregorian calendar, and the placement of the equinox changes every other century. For those growing up with the equinox on the 21st, you won’t see that again until the 22nd century.

Almanac: It is Friday, March 21, 2025. The moon will enter the last quarter tomorrow (3/22) and it is on the Sagittarius/Capricorn cusp. Today is March 21 International Colour Day, International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination, World Poetry Day, International Day of Nowruz, World Down Syndrome Day, International Day of Forests and the Trees, National Fragrance Day, Memory Day, Smiley Day, National Common Courtesy Day, National Day of Action of Syringe Exchange, National Healthy Fats Day, National Single Parent Day, National Spray Tanning Day, Spring Fairy Fun Day, World Glacier Day, World Puppetry Day, World Sparrow Day, and World Vermouth Day.

Among those born on this day were Johann Sebastian Bach (1685), Francis Lewis (1713), Jean-Baptiste-Joseph Fourier (1768), James Jesse Strang (King of Mormons, 1813), Charlotte Bronte (1816), Modest Mussorgsky (1839), Florenz Ziegfeld (1869), Son House (Eddie James, 1902), Phyllis McGinley (1905), John D. Rockefeller III (1906), Harold Robbins (1916), Howard Cosell (1918), James Coco (1929), Gary Oldman (1958), Matthew Broderick (1962) and Rosie O'Donnell (1962).

On March twenty-first France adopted the Code of Napoleon (1804), the Baha'i Era-Baha'i began (1844), the Zoological Society of Philadelphia was incorporated (1859), the US invaded Honduras (1907), the Walter Kerr Theater opened (1921), Persia became Iran (1935), federal loyalty forms were implemented (1947), the first rock and roll concert ever was held (1952), and the NFL outlawed "celebrating" (1984),

Night Sky, 3/21: The evening is moonless, and the southern constellation Puppis, weakly highlighted by the winter Milky Way, is now, briefly, at its highest shortly after dark. Puppis is the stern (poop deck) of the legendary Greek ship Argo. The dim, northernmost stars of the stern's stick figure lie less than a fist-width to the left of the bright triangle forming Canis Major's tail and hindquarters. One of the loveliest offerings of Puppis is the 3rd-magnitude open cluster NGC 2451 way down below those top stars. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Family Fun

This Week: Saturday, March 22 – National Goof-Off Day & Talk Like William Shatner Day & Women Arts Day

Sunday, March 23 – Atheist Day & National Tamale Day & OK Day

Night Sky, 3/23: Draw a line from Castor through Pollux, follow it farther out by a big 26° (about 2½ fist-widths at arm's length), and you're at the dim head of Hydra, the Sea Serpent. In a dark sky it's a subtle but distinctive star grouping, about the width of your thumb at arm's length. Binoculars show it easily through light pollution. Continue that line farther by a fist and a half and you hit Alphard, Hydra's 2nd-magnitude orange heart.

Monday, March 24 – National Cocktail Day & World Tuberculosis Day

Tuesday, March 25 – All Womens' Equal Pay Day & Pecan Day & Tolkien Reading Day & Vaffeldagen (Waffle Day)

Wednesday, March 26 – Legal Assistants Day & Live Long And Prosper Day & National Science Appreciation Day & Purple Day

Night Sky, 3/26: Mars (about magnitude +0.1, near the heads of Gemini) comes into view in twilight as a steady orange spark very high toward the south. It continues to fade as it shrinks into the distance.

Thursday, March 27 – International Whisk(e)y Day & World Cheese Day & World Theater Day

Crappy Deim: What happens when you seize the wrong day. Ϟ Nearly all cyber trucks have been recalled because the Supreme Parasite used the wrong glue. Ϟ The Velveeta Voldemort & Fidget Dance Boy --Submitted by USDS The last capitalist to hang will be the one who sold us the rope. --Karl Marx

..........Your simple voodoo is so maniacal.........A Tribe Called Quest …..We The People

2) In Maryland, among the boating community, it is a tradition to wear socks only during the winter. Every year on the vernal equinox Annapolis yacht clubs, the maritime museum, dockyard workers, and even rangers at the Virginia State Parks celebrate the Burning of the Socks festival, welcoming warm waters back to the expansive Chesapeake Bay.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed. --Submitted by UUHS

Moonbeam: Words can sting like anything, but silence breaks the heart. --Phyllis McGinley

Fun Fact of the Week: The First Rock & Roll concert was organized by Alan Freed in Cleveland (OH) in 1952 and it was called the Moondog Coronation Ball.

Video of the Week: The Moondog Coronation Ball headliner was Paul Williams and the Hucklebucks seen here. https://youtu.be/Xn1rTNZtQNc

Peace-building over the long term requires the transformation of society, a transformation based on justice, involving education for all, the alleviation of poverty, and the abandonment of deeply rooted prejudices. --Baha'i Women Peace Process

Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating. --Simone Weil ϟ The road to hell is paved with republicans. --Submitted by js of bsky

..........Super calloused, fragile, egocentric.........Randy Rainbow …..Braggadocious

3) The shadows of Chicken-ita Pyramid, built in the 8th–12th century AD, are formed by the equinoctial sun and evoke the image of the “Sun Serpent” slithering down the north side of the pyramid. Other monuments like Stonehenge, Newgrange, built by the ancient Irish, Machu Picchu, and the Pyramid of Khafre, are also aligned with the equinox in unique ways. Picture

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't know about you, but I don't have any more passwords left in me. --Submitted by UUHS

Weird Word of the Week: Finifugal – someone who is afraid of finishing anything. https://parade.com/1195613/marynliles/funny-words/

Dragon of the Week: Spring Fairy Day Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Train a dog or cat to stop begging or chewing. Fill or coat a rawhide bone or toy with Cheez Whiz and offer the treat to your dog or cat. When the animal starts chewing on the toy, encourage her, repeating the word “Chew” with enthusiastic praise. Repeating this technique several times will eventually teach your pet to chew her toy whenever you say the word “Chew”. –-instead of begging for table scraps or chewing the furniture. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cheezwhiz.html

Tesla - Swasticar: Now with White Power Steering! --Submitted by Feminist News ϟ Yes, I know you'd like to afford basic necessities, keep vital programs, and not lose your retirement savings. Best I can do is a car commercial for the richest man on Earth. I'm helping him keep that title.

...........Talkin' colonizing Gaza from the White House lawn.........Macklemore …..F---ed Up

4) In 2009, NASA’s robotic spacecraft Cassini captured an image of a spring equinox on Saturn. The striking picture, made of a mosaic of images, took eight hours to capture. Picture

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Boycotts are not illegal. Peaceful political protest is not illegal. Everything Angry Ant doesn't like is not illegal. --Submitted by 98%

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Zenkaikon 2025 (20-23, Lancaster, PA) ...Panels, Programs, Special Events... https://zenkaikon.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Nvidia 2025 (18-21, San Jose, CA) Huang is expected to debut the company's latest flagship AI chip: the Blackwell Ultra https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/technology/nvidia-gtc-2025-what-to-expect-from-nvidias-biggest-event-of-the-year/ar-AA1B5lf9

Protest Sign of the Week: It Is Time To Use Our OUTSIDE Voices! --Held by a child

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Under a picture of the Life-sized Typo: Does this Ass make my country look small?

After his 8^th failed rocket attempt, I think it's safe to say tha Elon Musk has projectile dysfunction. Ϟ Are you disappointed that the egg prices he lowered were our nest eggs? Ϟ He says he's gonna buy a Tesla to encourage his base to buy Teslas. His base can't afford eggs & he can't drive a car. --Submitted by Feminist News

..........Ruth Bader Ginsberg's lost her mind..........Roy Zimmerman …..Psycho Tweeter

5) People who believe it’s only possible to balance an egg on the equinox or else think it’s somehow easier to balance an egg on either of these special dates attribute the effect to the celestial alignment of the Earth’s equator with respect to the Sun and plane of the solar system. In fact, the effect of the equinox on gravity or electromagnetic forces is much less significant than any air currents in a room or even the breathing and heartbeat of a person attempting to balance an egg. In 1947, Japanese physicist Ukichiro Nakaya performed an experiment demonstrating it’s possible to balance an egg any time of the year and not any easier on the vernal or autumnal equinox. He explained that the bumps and dimples in the egg’s surface touch a flat surface at enough points to support the egg’s center of mass.

Quote of the Week: I have abandoned all particular forms of devotion and prayer techniques. My only practice now is attention. --Brother Lawrence

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Six without s is nine. --Submitted by UUHS

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A Navajo walks into a bar in Tokyo. He says, “yah Ta abinni!” The bartender says, “Excuse me?” The Navajo repeats “Yatah Abinni” When the bartender says, “I don't understand.” The Navajo says, “Good, the code still works.” --Submitted by Pow Wow Nation

Today's Peace of History: March 21, 2003: The report of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of South Africa was released. The commission was led by the Reverend Desmond Tutu, a bishop in the Anglican Church, the first black General Secretary of the South African Council of Churches, and Nobel Peace Prize winner for his efforts to bring peace and justice to all South Africans. The Commission sought to go beyond truth-finding to promote national unity and reconciliation, to facilitate the granting of amnesty to those who made full factual disclosure, to restore the human and civil dignity of victims by providing them an opportunity to tell their own stories, and to make recommendations to the president on measures to prevent future human rights violations.

Jason Trumpauer Mulholland was 20 years old in 1961. She was arrested in Jackson, MS as one of the Freedom Riders. After her first arrest she was branded as “mentally ill” because authorities could not understand why a white woman would fight for civil rights. Ϟ “The economy is transitioning.” This is, obviously, caused by transgender mice? --Submitted by dw of -??

..........I believe it's coming from Washington DC..........Elvin Bishop's Fun Trio …..Something Smell's Funky 'Round Here

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, March 21, 2025, tHe aBsolute bEtterest ePistle eVer. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The shadows are as important as the light. --Charlotte Bronte

Cost of War:

As of 03/20/25 State Department Costs: $260,628,300,408

As of 03/13/25 State Department Costs: $260,071,850,602

As of 03/20/25 Homeland Security: $1,194,803,218,872

As of 03/13/25 Homeland Security: $1,194,198,708,094

As of 03/20/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,287,065,566,472

As of 03/13/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,285,511,276,262

As of 03/20/25 Military Costs: $3,136,901,758,848

As of 03/13/25 Military Costs: $3,135,721,681,729

As of 03/20/25 Veterans Care:$4,181,548,631,525

As of 03/13/25 Veterans Care: $4,169,768,777,604

As of 03/20/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,060,949,737,572

As of 03/13/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,014,067,392,409

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

So let us try, as an experiment, peace, and if the results of peace are bad, then we can choose if it would be better to go back to the old state of war! Let us in any case make the experiment. If we see that unity brings Light we shall continue it. For six thousand years we have been walking on the left-hand path; let us walk on the right-hand path now. We have passed many centuries in darkness, let us advance towards the light. --Abdu'l-Baha

Idea of the Week: We could close down the IRS and just pay Apartheid Clyde directly.

Famous Last Words: Amen; even so, come, Lord Jesus. --Charlotte Bronte Jane Eyre

..........He was lookin' for some votes to steal............Patrick Fitzgerald …..The Donald Was Called Down To Georgia

Looks like police are showing up to guard Tesla dealerships. Shame Uvalde didn't sell cars. Ϟ The Bronze Bozo just appointed the Grinch head of the Department of Christmas. Ϟ Steve Bannon looks that way because he's so wicked he's afraid to take a shower.

May Peace guide your action

And Joy attend your results

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

The world's anguish is no different from the love we insist on holding back. --Aberjhani