A Child's ePistle

 

Famous First Words: Resolved, That Donald John Trump, President... Impeachment Articles 2019 ~~The trial began 11/13/19

It's Childrens Book Week (9-15). Ernest Hemingway: The Old Man and the Guppy Sparsely worded, stoic, and devastatingly earnest about a very small fish. !! Rejected Children's Book Titles: Strangers Have the Best Candy

..........They grow up in the most delightful way.........Honoré …..Thank Heaven For Little Girls

If we desire respect for the law, we must first make the law respectable. --Louis D Brandeis

It is a cold Friday morning. When I got up a couple of hours ago, it was 26°F, now it's up to 29. Frost has painted the grass and is waiting for the sun to actually shine down on it to melt away its winter makeup. I hear no bird song. In fact I do not even hear the sound of motor cars or airplanes. It is a cold and silent morning. Veronica the cat declined to go out after the open door hit her in the face with a cold blast; and Puck the dog is still asleep where he spent the night. The sky is clear and very blue. The trees are wearing colorful fall leaves but lack real wind to show them off properly. I am sipping my doctored decaf and listening...the crows are coming. I can hear their joyous cawing getting nearer. What a lovely first frosty morning of fall. Stay warm!

Hope your weekend is colored in kindness, wherever you are.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Reading Plato so I can understand Aristotle so I can understand Kant so I can understand Hegel so I can understand Marx so I can argue online. --wolfgang --Submitted by Philosopher Games

Edgar Allan Poe: The Tell-Tale Toddler Gothic suspense over everyday nursery crimes (like who hid the green crayon behind the wainscoting. !! Rejected Children's Book Titles: Curious George Plays Freeway Chicken

..........No more confusion No morning-after surprise.........Honoré …..I'm Glad I'm Not Young Anymore

Trivia Questions: Happy Sandwich Day!

1. Who is credited with inventing the sandwich?

2. What and/or where was the largest sandwich made?

3. What is the most popular sandwich in the US?

4. As a matter of law, is a taco a sandwich?

5. What was Elvis Presley's favorite sandwich?

Big Hello: Cэлam - Adyghe (Russia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Basically as a writer I try hard to put words on the page that are so good they make you hallucinate the story and emotions. Like a drug dealer, but not paid nearly as well. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Image of the Week: Throwback -  Puck in 2015

Whatever This Is of the Week: Lots of world leaders are old, not just the US congress. Why, then, hasn't someone built an airport outdoor elevator that could be wheeled up to VIP planes and the celebrities could walk onto/into the elevator, wave for the camera, and get whisked to the ground. It would be safer for everyone. Best of all, it would eliminate all those news videos showing the walk down the steps. Everybody waddles when they come down rickety metal stairs, not just old people. The exit looks like penguins headed for the water. If we can go to the moon, we can get fat, old people to the ground without destroying their dignity.

William Shakespeare: The Tragedy of Humbug and the Terrible Nap Iambic pentameter tantrums and high-drama refusals to eat green vegetables. !! Rejected Children's Book Titles: Bob the Builder and the Falling Tower

..........Why caterpillars smile and summertime has wings.........Gigi …..The Earth and Other Minor Things

Moonbeam: ...but baseball is still baseball. --Buck O'Neil

Blasphemy of the Week: Imagine dying, getting reincarnated, and finding out you have to work retail again. --Submitted by Blasphemy Memes ~~My mother used to say that when she died, St Peter would say, “Mrs Bray, hey, you're over in yardgoods.”

Coffee Joke of the Week: Coffee makes everything okayer. https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=maythecoffeebewithyou

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I am starting a petition to no longer refer to AI “art” as AI art but instead as Computer-Rendered Artificial Pictures (CRAP). @bireeves95.bsky.social

Jane Austen: Suten and Prejudice (Against Bedtime) Utterly civil, passive-aggressive social maneuvering in the backyard sandbox. !! Rejected Children's Book Titles: Running With Scissors

..........She's so gracious So vivacious.........Gaston …..She's Not Thinking of Me

1. John Montague, the 4^th Earl of Sandwich, is said to order meat between bread while he spent hours betting on cards. Others doubt this story, however, and claim he ordered it from his work desk.

Almanac: It is Friday, November 13. The moon was new last Monday (11/9) and is in Capricorn. Today is Sandwich Day and World Kindness Day.

Among those born on this day were Robert Louis Stevenson (1850), Louis Brandeis (1856), Bennie Moten (1893), Buck O'Neil (1911), Madeleine Sherwood (1922), Oskar Werner (1922), Richard Mulligan (1932), Garry Marshall (1934), Jean Seberg (1938), Toy Caldwell (1947), Joe Mantegna (1947), Merrick Garland (1952), Chris Noth (1954), Whoppi Goldberg (1954), Greg Abbott (1957), Neil Flynn (1960), Jimmy Kimmel (1967), and Steve Zahn (1967).

On the thirteenth of November Christopher Wren was appointed architect for St Paul's Cathedral in London (1673), the Liberty Party convened (US first anti-slavery party, 1839), Mt, Rainier erupted (1843), Big Ben chimed for the first time (1856), the National Bowling Association was organized (1875), Hattie Caraway (D-AK) was appointed the first US female senator (1931), the first modern "sit down" strike in the US (Hormel, 1933), the supreme court struck down segregation on public transportation (1956), Pope Paul VI gave up the jewel-encrusted, gold papal crown, donating it to the poor (1964), the Vietnam War Memorial was dedicated (DC, 1982). Armengaud discovered 2^1398269-1 (35^th known Mersenne prime, 1996), Barbie first wore a hijab (2017), and Trump's first impeachment trial began (2019).

Night Sky, 11/13: The Northern Taurid meteor shower is just past peak but still active, very bright, slow-moving fireballs. The Moon is c. 15% illuminated.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The Flying Velcro Brothers

   

This Week: Saturday, November 14 – Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day & National Pickle Day & Operating Room Nurses Day

Sunday, November 15 – America Recycles Day & I Love to Write Day & National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day

Night Sky, 11/15: Evening Planets: Saturn in the south, Neptune (best with binoculars) Morning Planets: Jupiter & Mars close together in Leo

Monday, November 16 – International Day for Tolerance & National Button Day & Breaking Free From Nicotine Day

Tuesday, November 17 – Homemade Bread Day & Take A Hike Day & National Butter Day

Wednesday, November 18 – Mickey Mouse Day & International Day of Islamic Art & Push-Button Phone Day

Night Sky, 11/18: Sunrise: 7:01 am Sunset: 5:09 pm 10 hours and 8 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 10:52 am Moonset 9:15 pm

Thursday, November 19 – Rocky and Bullwinkle Day & Use Less Stuff Day & Equal Opportunity Day

Franz Kafka: The Metamorphosis of Morning Routine Waking up to discover you have turned into a giant, uncooperative pajama-clad beetle who cannot find his left velcro sneaker. !! Rejected Children's Book Titles: The Illustrated H P Lovecraft

..........Don't you marvel at the power of the mighty Eiffel Tower.........Gaston & Honoré …..It's A Bore

2) Wild Woody's Chill and Grill in Roseville, Michigan made a sandwich weighing 5,440 pounds. It was made in 2005 and was 12 ft long and 12 ft wide by 17.5 in tall. It consisted of bread, corned beef, lettuce, cheese, and mustard.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don't tell me energy is low around voting. Just received a report out of Kansas that a voter was told she couldn't vote while wearing her partisan t-shirt. So she took it off and voted in her bra. --SairaForGeorgia --Submitted by bu of ks

Moonbeam: You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. --Robert Louis Stevenson

Fun Fact of the Week: Rep Josh Hawley (MO) is shocked by the blue wave and calls for a (sic) “historic response”. “I'm going to host a time of fasting and prayer for the nation on Tuesday, December 06 from 12 to 1 at the Capitol.” That's the fact. ~~This is the fun part...fasting for one hour is not very impressive.

Video of the Week: Big Ben chiming (1:17) Since its first chime it has marked well over a million and a half hours.

They tell you in Washington that if you want a friend, get a dog. That is not true. Get a family. This is a hard place to be. --Merrick Garland

Charles Dickens: Oliver Asks for More … Tater Tots Bleak Victorian melodrama applied to minor playground injustices. !! Rejected Children's Book Titles: Laws Are Only For Grownups

..........A paradise where romance blooms.........?? …..The Contract

3) The grilled cheese sandwich is the most popular sandwich in the US. It gets a 79% approval rate. The next three are Chicken Sandwich, Turkey Sandwich, and Peanut Butter and Jelly.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'd be lying if I said that I didn't regret not paying a bit more attention at my first rodeo. --Styx --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Weird Word of the Week: Irenic: Promoting peace or reconciliation, often used to describe a personality or a peaceful solution to conflict. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/irenic

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Roast a succulent turkey. Wash the turkey, place it in a plastic oven bag, pour one-half can of Coke over the turkey, and close the bag as directed. Before the last half hour, split the bag open to give the turkey a nice caramel brown. The Coke provides the salt, so there is no need to add any. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola4.html ~~Doesn't it also add sweetness? Ugh.

Virginia Woolf: Mrs Monarchy Innovative stream of consciousness, a butterfly remembers hijinks of her milkweed nursery. !! Rejected Children's Book Titles: Street Hockey for Toddlers

...........I was on time. No, you were late..........Honoré and Mamita …..I Remember It Well

4) On May 13, 2024, a judge in the Allen Superior Court in Indiana issued an order concluding that tacos and burritos are sandwiches in the eyes of the law. The case, Quintana v. Fort Wayne Plan Commission, arose from a zoning dispute.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Naming Stephen Miller chief of staff is like looking at a five-alarm fire and deciding the problem is a shortage of gasoline. --A.W. --Submitted by 98%

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Cosmic Realms 2026 (13-15, Philippi, WV) Battlers Knob https://fancons.com/events/info/28897/cosmic-realms-2026

Hats off the Washington State of the Week: Washington has selected Jimi Hendrix for the 2029 US Mint coin program. More

Spark of Joy of the Week: 28 years as a flight attendant, and I swear I've never felt an energy like this on an airplane. People are smiling, joking, and talking to strangers. It's like the entire country just exhaled at the same time and is currently walking around high as shit. Midterm energy is something else. --JF --Submitted by 98%

Alfred Bester: The Backyard My Destination Fast paced adventures of a tattooed boy learning to walk. !! Rejected Children's Book Titles: Santa Looks Into Your Window At Night

..........Stars on their beat looking down on the sweet..........Honoré …..Paris Is Paris Again

5) Elvis favored a peanut butter, banana, and bacon sandwich.

Protest Sign of the Week: Si le texas peut le faire nous aussi (from France) If Texas can do it, so can we”

Quote of the Week: We must especially beware of that small group of selfish men who would clip the wings of the American Eagle in order to feather their own nests. --Franklin D Roosevelt

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Note to Stephen Miller: While Richard Nixon never saw jail time, his Chief of Staff did. --ts

Today's Peace of History: November 13, 1956: The U.S. Supreme Court ruled segregation unconstitutional in public transportation. The case, Browder v. Gayle, was brought by four women, Aurelia Browder, Susie McDonald, Claudette Colvin and Mary Louise Smith, who had refused to surrender their bus seats to whites in Montgomery (months before Rosa Parks had done so), and had been arrested for violating Alabama law which required segregation on public buses.

John Barth: Goat Boy Grills A massive postmodern, metafictional satirical picture book about a faun at Harvard. !! Rejected Children's Book Titles: Home Explosives Made Easy

..........They thought of you and me.........Gigi and Gaston …..The Night They Invented Champagne

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, November 13, 2026: a Child's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: The idea that you would not only exercise but that you would enjoy it is very difficult for me to understand. --Jimmy Kimmel

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 11/12/26: $1,138,988,850,265

Twenty billion, two hundred and fifty-nine million, two hundred and ninety-six thousand, three hundred and sixty-four dollars spent this week on war.

Pentagon Spending 11/05/26: $1,118,729,553,901

Peace cannot be bullied into existence. --Ali Jarbawi

Pentagon Spending in October 2026: $85,210,317,032

Pentagon Spending in September 2026: $83,835,546,693

Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Measles in the US 2026: November: 5,182 confirmed cases (1,102 new cases)

October: 4,080 September: 3.294 August: 2,566 July: 2,231 June: 2,073 May: 1,842 April: 1,748

There have been 4 deaths from measles in 2026. In 2010 we had 63 cases and 0 deaths. https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html

America is ready for livable communities. America is ready for high-speed rail. --Greg Abbott

Famous Last Words: ...disqualification to hold and enjoy any office of honor, trust, or profit under the United States. House Resolution 755, 116^th Congress, first Session Articles of Impeachement Against Donald John Trump 2019

..........Something buried inside I can no longer hide.........Gigi …..In This Wide Wide World ~~Gigi opened on Broadway November 13, 1973 with Karin Wolfe, Daniel Massey, Alfred Drake, and Maria Karnilova

Agatha Christie: Ten Little Iguanas Proper English suspense when the lead forward for the Intense Iguanas cricket team went missing. !! Rejected Children's Book Titles: Nightmare On Sesame Street

May Peace keep your sleep

And Joy fill your waking hours

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Thank the ePistle

Famous First Words: Fellow Citizens... --Jefferson Davis' 2^nd Inaugural address (2/22/1862)

November is Gratitude Month! Gratitude is the wine of the soul. Go on. Get drunk. --Rumi ₲₲ I appreciate my sense of humor; it encourages me to laugh at my own bad decisions.

..........Got no checkbooks, got no banks, still I'd like to express my thanks..........Irving Berlin …..I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. --Abraham Lincoln

It is a chilly (43°F) Friday morning. An eight mph north wind inspires the willow branches to dance a frenzied tarantella and the short foliage to sway in sympathy. A lone mourning dove nibbles sunflower seeds on the patio and the world is silent except for the occasional motorcar popping off to work or wherever. Much of the world is still green – grass, leaves, short fat hollyhock plants – but now it's mottled with yellow and brown and sometimes red leaves creating a moving abstract across the lawn. Puck has been out and back. I have my cup of doctored decaf. Veronica has come in to explain how she hasn't been fed for days and could I give her a treat. And since I get to write to you it's all in all a great morning!

Hope your weekend gives you much to be grateful for, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Canada is looking through the blinds watching the crack house next door get raided. --Submitted by 98%

Gratitude is when someone else cooks while you open the wine. --Reese Witherspoon ₲₲ If you can't be content for what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped.

..........When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed..........Johnson Oatman Jr …..Count Your Blessings

Trivia Questions: Blue Election Changes

1. What is the most incredible thing about a new blue senate?

2. What is the most incredible thing for the old Speaker of the House?

3. What was the world like before the democrats took back the House?

4. What was the world like the last time Kansas had a democratic US senator?

5. What will be the most fun about the new senate?

Big Hello: Bzia zbaşa – Abkhaz (Northwest Caucasus Mountains) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My favorite part of this fall is watching the states change colors. --sh of ??

Whatever This Is of the Week: I am so glad the election is over. Mostly so those awful ads stop. Both sides, either side, any office, any state...gone. One of the Roku channels would run positive and negative Roger Marshall/Adam Hamilton ads back to back. We heard more about people's ads and what people were paying for ads, and controversial ads, and ads with unauthorized images...than we heard about issues. If I am ever elected queen of the planet I will make a law that you can only campaign for an office for 60 days before the election. I read a suggestion that when you vote early, instead of an I Voted sticker they give you a password you put into your internet and it filters out all the political ads.

Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. --C K Chesterton ₲₲ We hope that, when the insects take over thew world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics. --Bill Vaughn

..........The devil on the block and he lurkin'.........Lil Wayne …..Thankful

Moonbeam: People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing – that's why we recommend it daily. --Zig Ziglar

Blasphemy of the Week: God was sitting in heaven when a scientist said to Him, “Lord, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing. In other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning.” “Oh, is that so? Tell me...” replied God. Well”, said the scientist, “we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man.” “Well, that's interesting. Show me.” So the scientist bent down to the earth and started to mold the soil. Oh, no, no, no....” interrupted God, “get your own dirt”. --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

Coffee Joke of the Week: Thanks, a latte!

Does this mean we get Colbert back? --Peter Sagal

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Proof that AI is not alive. If it were alive the government wouldn't be building housing for it. https://www.facebook.com/BristolTnDems

Keep your eye on the general. Whenever she's feeling gratitudes she gives tanks. ₲₲ I feel a very unusual sensation – if it is not indigestion, I think I must be gratitude. --Benjamin Disraeli

..........But they've got nothin' on the power of this love I have for you..........Keith Urban …..Thank You

1) Incredible that we're going to have a Senate where nobody has to give a f*ck what John Fetterman thinks. --Submitted by 98%

Almanac: It is Friday, November 6^th. The moon will be new between Sunday and Monday (11/8-9) and is in Libra. Today is day one of Diwali, International Day for Preventing the Exploitation of the Environment in War and Armed Conflict, Marijuana Recreational Legalization Day (Colorado & Washington), National Jersey Friday, National Nachos Day, Saxophone Day, and World Town Planning Day. Because it is the first Friday in November it is also Fountain Pen Day, Love Your Lawyer Day, and National Medical Science Liaison Awareness & Appreciation Day.

Among those born on this day were Adolphe Sax (1814), John Philip Sousa (1854), James Naismith (1861), Gus Kahn (1886), Ray Conniff (1916), James Jones (1921), Zig Ziglar (1926), Mike Nichols (1931), Sally Field (1946), Glenn Frey (1948), Maria Shriver (1955), Ethan Hawke (1970), Rebecca Romijn (1972), and Emma Stone (1988).

On November sixth Abraham Lincoln was elected president of the United States (1860), Jefferson Davis was elected president of the Confederate States of America (1861), the first US train was robbed (1866), the American Library Association was organized (1876), Gandhi was arrested in South Africa (1913), The Bolshevik Revolution began (1917), the Challenger space shuttle landed at Edward Air Force Base (1985), Russia outlawed the Communist Party (1991), the Cleveland Browns moved to Baltimore, MD (1995), Barack Obama defeated Mitt Romney (2012), and Sharice Davids (KS) & Deb Haaland (NM) became the first Native American women elected to the US House of Representatives (2018).

Night Sky, 11/6: The Southern Taurid meteor shower is still active. The moon is nearly dark so the meteors should be easy to spot. ...only 5 or so per hour but beautiful big fireballs.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The boys in the same car at the same time at different seasons

This Week: Saturday, November 7 – Bison day & International Cake Day & Notary Public Day & Sadie Hawkins Day

Sunday, November 8 – Abet and Aid Punsters Day & Dunce Day & National STEM/STEAM Day

Night Sky, 11/8: New Moon for this lunar cycle will occur at 11/9 at 2:02 am and is in Scorpio.

Monday, November 9 – Kristallnacht & World Freedom Day & Adoption Day

Tuesday, November 10 – Diwali final day & Sesame Street Day & World Science Day for Peace and Development

Wednesday, November 11 – Minute of Gratitude Day & Armistice Day & Origami Day & Veterans' Day

Night Sky, 11/11: Great Square of Pegasus, Andromeda, and Cassiopeia are visible in the north. Perseus and Double Cluster are in the northeast. Capella and Pleiades with Hyades are to the east

Thursday, November 12 – Fancy Rat & Mouse Day & World Pneumonia Day

Former Olympic skier Picabo Street donated money to a local hospital. In gratitude, the hospital named their emergency ward after her-- it's now the Picabo ICU. ₲₲ Enough is a feast. --Buddha ₲₲ We cannot feel thankful and unhappy at the same time.

..........for letting me be myself again.........Sly & the Family Stone …..Thank You

2) Mike Johnson, current speaker of the house, will no longer have to lay awake nights thinking up lies about how honest the Trump family is...or how well the war is going...

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Did you know 65 million years ago the first dinosaur T-shirt Boutique opened? It was called “Try Sarah's Tops”. --Submitted by Catsonacouch

Moonbeam: When the world is so complicated, the simple gift of friendship is within all our hands. --Maria Shriver

Video of the Week: Called the greatest saxophone solo ever Raphel Ravenscroft: Baker Street https://www.facebook.com/reel/1093430696002483 (:37)

We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution. --Abraham Lincoln

An alien crash lands on earth but is still alive and the scientist helps him fix the spaceship so he can go back home. As a sign of gratitude, the alien tells the scientist that he will answer him a single question, whatever it is or however it's formulated. As the alien is about to take off, the scientist finally comes up with a question. "What is the best question that I could possibly ask you in this situation and what is the answer to it?", the scientist asks. "The best question is the one you just asked, and the answer to it is the one I just gave you", says the alien and flies away ₲₲

..........For giving me the best day of my life..........Dido …..Thank You

3) Eight years of a republican House of Representatives. You realize, the last time the Democrats had this much power in Congress, there were only 2 Transformer movies and Harvey Weinstein only looked like a creep. --Trevor Noah

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Well, we gained an hour of sleep,..but lost the will to do anything after 5 pm. Happy Daylight Savings Time. --Submitted by ks of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Agathism: (n) The belief in the ultimate triumph of good over evil. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meditation-for-modern-life/202607/the-philosophy-of-agathism

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Store thumb tacks. Fill a clean, empty Coke bottle with thumb tacks. Need a tack? Turn the bottle on an angle. It dispenses only a few tacks at t atime. With the cap on the bottle, you never have to worry about spilling tacks again. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola4.html ~~This is pushing it, I think. Almost any bottle or jar with a removable lid would do the same thing.

Gratitude is knowing every bad hair day eventually ends with a hat. ₲₲ I'm thankful for my brothers; they are/were the only people who could annoy me and make me laugh at the same time.

...........Freedom in your stride, love, and peace of mind.........Earth Wind Fire …..Gratitude

4) 1938: The last time Kansas sent a democrat to the US Senate was the year before The Wizard of Oz was played in theaters.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: English Teacher: A person who puts more thoughts into the novel than the original author did. --Submitted by LanguageNerds

The Many Beat The Money! --iwillnotbesilenced.bsky.social

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Governing by tantrum has resulted in Donald Trump holding his breath until America turned blue. https://www.facebook.com/middleageriot

Spark of Joy of the Week:

Gratitude is like a good pair of socks – comforting and slightly mismatched. ₲₲ I am grateful for my teachers and all the other teachers too; they can find red pens in a black hole.

..........Me has bendecido con tu gracia............Ozuna …..Gracias

5) JD Vance – the man without a personality – will have to swear in all those fresh, new democratic senators.

Protest Sign of the Week: JD Vance Puts His Cast Iron Skillet In The Dishwasher

Quote of the Week: When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around. --Willie Nelson

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We're in a giant car heading towards a brick wall and everyone's arguing over where they're going to sit. --David Suzuki https://www.facebook.com/groups/286366068793713/

Today's Peace of History: November 6, 1986: Although an American plane with supplies for the Nicaraguan contra insurgents had been shot down the previous month, and a Lebanese newspaper reported that the US government had arranged for the sale of weapons to Iran, President Ronald Reagan denied involvement (“. . . a story that came out of the Middle East, and that to us has no foundation ...”) in what came to be known as the Iran-Contra scandal. Both the ongoing aid to the contras and the weapons sales to Iran were violations of US law.

Gratitude is like gravy, put it on everything. ₲₲ I'm grateful for the Wi-Fi; without it, I'd actually have to talk to my family.

..........When my bankroll is getting small, I think of when I had none at all.........Bing Crosby …..Count Your Blessings

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, November 6, 2026: Thank the ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Basketball doesn't build character, it reveals it. --James Naismith

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 11/05/26: 1,118,729,553,901

Nineteen billion, four hundred and ninety-nine million, one hundred and seventy-five thousand, one hundred and seventy-four dollars spent on war this week.

Pentagon Spending 11/1/26: $1,105,912,568,197

Pentagon Spending 10/29/26: $1,099,230,378,727.

Peace cannot be bullied into existence. --Ali Jarbawi

Pentagon Spending in October 2026: $85,210,317,032

Pentagon Spending in September 2026: $83,835,546,693

Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today. --Abraham Lincoln

Famous Last Words: Let somebody love you before it's too late. --Glenn Frey Desperado

..........And traffic jams and anagrams and bills we never paid.........Bob Hope …..Thanks for the Memories

November is also Georgia Pecan Month – so there's that to be thankful for too. ₲₲ Even though we can't have all we want, we ought to be thankful we don't get what we deserve.

May Peace give you grace

And Joy give you gratitude

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

ePistle Boo

Famous First Words: The apparition of these faces in the crowd... --Ezra Pound In a Station of the Metro

Happy All Hallow's Eve Eve! I'll try to stay grounded, but my broom may have other plans. 🎃 My cauldron and I can brew some really amazing..uh...tea. 🎃 Did the Petrified Forest get that way because ghosts scared the trees?

..........On a misbegotten, moonless night..........Don Henley …..Miss Ghost

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. --Anne Frank

It is a cloudy Friday morning. There is a light breeze from the south encouraging the willow branches to dance and the mulberry leaves to fly. The foliage is slowly moving from greens to yellows and even reds. There are trees around wearing lush fall colors, but my backyard is still mostly green. The tall plants – hollyhocks, pokeweed – have been mowed and the baby mulberry trees along the fence have been trimmed to the ground. The world smells dry and dusty – not at all like pumpkin spice. The sun is only now lighting up the sky which seems to be a solid bank of clouds without much texture. Birds are up and active in the 60°F air, chirping and cawing and peeping. Puck and Veronica have both been out and returned. Puck is napping under my desk and Veronica has gone to other parts of the house to do cat business – whatever that is. I am sipping decaf and writing to you; can't ask for more than that.

May your weekend be filled with unexpected magic moments, my little goblins.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: After weeks of rioting in Paris no one has been killed. Which technically means your child is safer attending a riot in France than school in America. --martinldart --Submitted by cjj of ks

The Leaky Cauldron Inn is known for its great broom service. 🎃 Don't be afraid, the spider is much smaller than you are. Yeah, so is a grenade. 🎃

..........His candle just at twelve o'clock began to burn quite palely..........Kingston Trio …..Unfortunate Miss Bailey

Trivia Questions: Blessed Samhain!

1. What percentage of people in the US claim that Halloween is their favorite holiday?

2. What is the heaviest pumpkin ever recorded?

3. How much do we spend on Halloween costumes for our pets?

4. What word or phrase did children use on Halloween before “Trick or Treat” became fashionable?

5. What happened to trick-or-treating during WWII?

Big Hello: nuqneH – Klingon https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Have a panic attack. You've earned it. --Dave Tarnowski

Image of the Week:

First Get Out and Vote Item of the Week: Willie Nelson Vote 'Em Out (2:20) ~~Submitted by sw of ks

My secret to successful potions is using only organically grown children. 🎃 When I was a kid I was afraid of the dark. Now that I pay my own electricity bill, I'm afraid of the light. 🎃

..........Tryin' to catch the Devil's herd, across these endless skies.........Marty Robbins ….Ghost Riders In The Sky

Moonbeam: Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other. --John Adams

Blasphemy of the Week: Hell is probably just a group chat that you can't leave.--Submitted by Blasphemy Memes

Coffee Joke of the Week: Some people call 5 cups of coffee a problem. I call it a start. https://www.facebook.com/groups/CoffeeMemes4Life

More Get Out and Vote Item of the Week: Bette Midler: All You Fascists Bound To Lose “We're gonna win the midterms, we're coming for his ass”

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Transylvania Wireless is offering their latest new phone. It comes with unlimited hex messaging. --Lennon Cartoons

The fish at Martha's Vineyard are all afraid of Giovanni Godfather, he's such a notorious Lobster 🎃 Winnie Witch had twin girls. The problem is one never knows which witch is which. 🎃

..........walk, walk, walk, walk.........Roky Erickson …..I Walked With A Zombie

1) 23% of people in the US say that Halloween is their favorite holiday.

Almanac: It is Friday, October 30, 2026. The moon enters its first quarter on Sunday (11/1) and is in Cancer. Today is Checklist Day, Create A Great Funeral Day, Devil's Night aka Mischief Night, National Candy Corn Day, National Publicist Day, National Uplift Someone Day, National WICKED Day, Speak Up For Service Day, World Audio Drama Day, and Haunted Refrigerator Night. Because it is the last Friday it is also Frankenstein Friday, International Bandanna Day, National Breadstix (Bread Sticks) Day, and National Pharmacy Buyer Day.

Among those born on this day were Christopher Columbus (1451), John Adams (1735), Richard Sheridan (1751), Feodor Dostoevsky (1821), Ezra Pound (1885), Ruth Gordon (1896), Louis Malle (1932), Grace Slick (1939), Henry Winkler (1945), Harry Hamlin (1951), Charles Martin Smith (1953), Ben Bailey (1970), and Ivanka Trump (1981).

On October thirtieth King Charles I gave Robert Heath the Bahamas (1692), Jane Austen's first novel was published (Sense & Sensibility, 1811), Barnum's Greatest Show On Earth debuted (1873), Welles' War of the Worlds broadcast panicked the nation (1938), Anne Frank was transferred from Auschwitz to Belsen (1944), shoe rationing ended in the US (1945), the US military desegregated (1954), Stalin's body was removed from Red Square (1961), Dolly Parton released her debut single (The Last Thing On My Mind, 1967), and former Trump campaign chairman & associate Rick Gates indicted on fraud charged (2017).

Night Sky, 10/30: The Orion Nebula (M42) is visible late night & predawn sky. Also the moon approaches Dwarf planet Ceres.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Halloween in Bremerton...

This Week: Saturday, October 31 – Samhain & All Hallows Eve & Magic Day & National UNICEF Day

Sunday, November 1 – All Saints Day & Cinnamon Day & Extra Mile Day & National Family Literacy Day & Plan Your Epitaph Day

Night Sky, 11/1: Daylight Savings Time Ends at 2 am. Set your clock back one hour. ~~We'll be turning our clocks back soon. Gaining an extra hour in 2026 is like getting a bonus track on a Yoko Ono album. --Submitted by cjj of ks Jupiter shines in the morning sky. Mars is moving through Cancer toward the Beehive Cluster. Saturn will be visible into the evening hours.

Monday, November 2 – All Souls Day & Color the World Orange Day & Job Action Day

Tuesday, November 3 – Election Day & Cliché Day & Public Television Day & World Jellyfish Day

Night Sky, 11/3: The Square of Pegasus, the Double Cluster in Perseus, & the Andromeda Galaxy grace the night sky.

Wednesday, November 4 – International Stress Awareness Day & Use Your Common Sense Day

Thursday, November 5 – Firewood Day & National Medical Cannabis Day & Play Monopoly Day

Night Sky, 11/5: Sunrise: 6:52 am Sunset: 5:16 pm 10 hours and 24 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 3:11 am Moonset 3:14 pm

If the broom fits, ride it. 🎃 Don't be frightened but Halloween 2026 is on Friday the 13 for the first time in 666 years. 🎃

..........I'll show you my dark secret.........The Toadies …..Possum Kingdom

2) This very month (10/26) a pumpkin weighing 3,156 pounds was grown by Ron Wallace. It is the first pumpkin to weigh in over 3,000 pounds since they started keeping track.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Any stairway can be a stairway to heaven if you're clumsy enough. --Submitted by cp of ks

Moonbeam: Power is given only to those who dare to lower themselves to pick it up. Only one thing matters, one thing: to be able to dare! --Fyodor Dostoevsky

More II Get Out the Vote Item of the Week: Jon Stewart 10/27/26 For God's sake get out and vote.

Fun Fact of the Week: People with very young babies or very old dogs spend half their time worrying about the strange breathing noises they make and the other half worrying because they aren't making the strange breathing noises.

Video of the Week: Disney's first Silly Symphony: The Skeleton Dance (5:53)

In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit. --Anne Frank

At Dracula's Used Furniture there are 3 wall mirrors with “Never Used” written on the price tag. 🎃 When you called and asked me to “check the children”, I thought it was a crank call, then I remembered … the oven. 🎃

..........You look like Boris Karloff and you don't even care.........Tom Petty …..Zombie Zoo

3) According to the National Retail Federation, Americans are projected to spend $92 billion on pet costumes in 2026 .

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Satan gets blamed for an impressive amount of stuff people clearly thought up all by themselves. --Submitted by Blasphemy Memes

Weird Word of the Week: Callipygian: Having beautifully shaped buttocks. https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/callipygian ~~Teach it to Trump; it will class up his rambles about asses.

Dragon of the Week: The All Hallows Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Sepia tone photographs. Place the photographs (color or black and white) in a tray of some Coca-Cola, let soak for two minutes, carefully rinse the photographs in a tray of water, and dry the pictures (pat them with a dry towel and then use a blow-dryer set on high). The photos will turn a nice shade of sepia, the color that makes old photos look so warm. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola4.html

Retro Get Out the Vote Item of the Week: 2020 with the muppets and others Amusing (2:03)

When Walter Witch's broom broke, he had to witch hike. 🎃 My toddler was scared of the thunder so I told her it was just the sky farting. Now she giggles when she hears it. Sometimes all you need is a rebrand. 🎃

...........I'm a black bat, baby, bangin' on your window pane.........Neil Young …..Vampire Blues

4) Trick or Treat was not the original phrase children would shout to receive candy. Instead they yelled, “Belsnickel” The first recorded use of “Trick or Treat” was 1927 in Blackie, Alberta.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I just realized that the reason ghosts say Boo is because it's a Latin verb. They're literally saying I alarm/I am alarming/I do alarm!! If it comes from the latin word, they're actually saying I'M YELLING which is even cuter. Do ghosts speak Latin because it's a dead language?

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: VillainsCon 2026 (31-1, Beaufort, SC) Get ready for an action-packed weekend... https://www.villainsconbeaufort.org/

Question of the Week: If poison is past its expiry date, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

Another Get Out the Vote Item of the Week: 2026 Workout video with Jane Fonda. Exercise Your Rights (1:29)

People in Iran are afraid of spiders. But in Iraq, no phobia. 🎃 When Wanda Witch met Dracula she said, “You're a pain in the neck, but I love your coffindence.” 🎃

..........And it vanished in the air..........Grateful Dead …..Friend Of The Devil

5) In 1941 the US government rationed sugar because of the war. Each person was allowed 28 lbs over the course of a year. In 1945 it was reduced first to 20 lbs and then 15 lbs per person per year. For Halloween people handed out fruit, coins, or nothing at all.

Protest Song of the Week: Grifting Along With The Bumbling Trumpleweeds by Roy Zimmerman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNdefi2os7k

Quote of the Week: It's not the world that was my oppressor, because what the world does to you, if it does it long enough and effectively enough, you begin to do to yourself. --James Baldwin

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We were at a Halloween Haunted House last week. I walked into a room and there was a dead body on the floor. YOUR NEXT was written in blood on the wall. I was shivering, but I couldn't help myself, I dipped my finger in the blood and wrote YOU'RE. --Submitted by LanguageNerds

Today's Peace of History: October 30, 1995: Over 80 people were arrested at Sugarloaf Mountain in southern Oregon during a massive direct action to prevent clear-cutting of old-growth forests on public land by private timber companies.

Wesley Witch lives in DC. He has gotten very tired of being picked up by every politician on a witch hunt. 🎃 That mathematician who's scared of negative numbers will stop at nothing to avoid them. 🎃

..........They think it's Red Grange instead of poor Ann Boylen...Kingston Trio …..With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, October 30, 2026: ePistle Boo. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: A bumper of good liquor will end a contest quicker than justice, judge, or vicar. --Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 10/29/26: $1,099,230,378,727. That's nineteen billion, five hundred and thirty-five million, six hundred and forty thousand, seven hundred and fifty-nine dollars spent this week on fear and hatred.

Pentagon Spending 10/1/26: $1,020,702,251,165

The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war. --Norman Schwarzkopf

Pentagon Spending in September 2026: $83,835,546,693

Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Retro II Get Out and Vote Item of the Week: I think it's 2018, but I'm not sure. Unfortunately it's still relevant. Rock The Vote (3:26)

Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart. --Anne Frank

Famous Last Words: So goodbye everybody, and remember the terrible lesson you learned tonight. --Orson Welles ...as the radio narrator for War of the Worlds

..........Oh, how the ghost of you clings.........Ella Fitzgerald …..These Foolish Things

When the indigenous Mexican was scared, he hid in Hispanic Room. 🎃 It never fails, my pumpkins don't just get drunk they get smashed 🎃 Turns out, I'm 100% That witch.

May Peace haunt your days

And Joy frequent your nights

prairie mama

christine

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