Quite Right ePistle

Famous First Words: GOP Security Aide Among 5 Arrested In Bugging Affair. --Headline Page 1 Washington Post 7/18/1972

Wishing a So-So Birthday to the Republican Party!! (Because they don't want anyone, including themselves, to be happy; that's why.) How many Republicans does it take to change a light? Change? No, that's socialism. --- You can tell Republicans from Ukranians because Ukranians defend their capital.

..........Hurrah for the choice of the nation.........Jesse Hutchinson …..Lincoln and Liberty --Used in Lincoln's first presidential campaign

That, with our Republican fathers, we hold it to be a self-evident truth, that all men are endowed with the inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and that the primary object and ulterior design of our Federal Government were to secure these rights to all persons under its exclusive jurisdiction... --Republican Party Platform 1856

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sky is a clear blue, a light breeze invites the willow to dance a slow waltz, the pokeweed is taller than I am with its yellow flowers and thick green leaves. A squirrel is doing fancy flips with his tail to impress the baby girl cardinal as the two consume sunflower seeds. There is no birdsong from outside and only Puck's irregular breathing in here. It is 73°F, lovely weather for a morning walk. The sun is just coming up over the rooftops and through the trees to dapple the shed, the yard, the leaves themselves into a masterpiece of light and shadow. The scene suggests Louis Armstrong's gravelly voice crooning, “it's a wonderful world”. I raise my coffee cup to you, this fine morning, and hope this day brings all that its morning promises.

Hope your weekend is safe from crocodiles, gentle reader.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just remember that given the abundance of neurodivergent people in science, it's far more likely that autism causes vaccines. --Christopher Penn

Strangely Appropriate Random Posting of the Week: I feel my dancing on Lindsey Graham’s grave has been tempered by the need to preserve energy for Mitch McConnell. --Two Shed Jackson

Republicans removed Jehovah's Witnesses from the list of accepted religions because Republicans don't want any witnesses. --- Republicans had a hard time with COVID-19 because people who can't breathe turn blue.

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? None, they only talk about change. ~~To be fair and balanced, that's why.

..........Charles Lindbergh flew that little plane....Joe Glazer .....If He's Good Enough For Lindy --Herbert Hoover's campaign (Charles Lindsbergh never publicly gave support to Hitler's party, but he also never came out with a statement against it and was called a Nazi sympathizer by some contemporaries.)

Trivia Questions: Happy World Crocodile Day!

1. How long have crocodiles been around on earth, anyway?

2. What makes crocodile teeth different from other animals' teeth?

3. What does the crocodile have on its snout to help it hunt?

4. How fast can a crocodile swim?

5. What unique adaptations make crocodiles formidable predators?

Big Hello: Ngurra mayinpa – Warlpiri (Australia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: “Are you a communist?” “No, I am an anti-fascist.” “For a long time?” “Since I have understood fascism.” --Ernest Hemingway For Whom The Bell Tolls

Image of the Week: Over an inch of stitches near my eye

Whatever This Is of the Week: We should only speak good of the dead. He's dead. Good. --Dorothy Parker

A woman in a hot-air balloon is lost, so she shouts to a man below, "Excuse me. I promised a friend I would meet him, but I don’t know where I am." "You’re at 31 degrees, 14.57 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude," he replies. "You must be a Democrat." "I am. How did you know?" "Because everything you told me is technically correct, but the information is useless, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve been no help." "You must be a Republican." "Yes. How did you know?" "You’ve risen to where you are due to a lot of hot air, you made a promise you couldn’t keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault."

The Democratic nominee walks into a bar because the current Republican party set it so low.

….......He will lead us all ..........Irving Berlin …..I like Ike --Eisenhower's campaign

Moonbeam: Prayer is where the action is. --John Wesley

Blasphemy of the Week: Don't tell me how to be a Pagan. If I wanted rules, I'd go to church. --Submitted by MMS

Coffee Joke of the Week: I took one sip of coffee and immediately remembered I have responsibilities. Horrible feature. Terrible design. One star. --Submitted by MTCBWY

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: That heat wave on the eastern seaboard is now explained … The GATES OF HELL were kicked open by the most recent member. Beelzebub reportedly remarked, “There goes the neighborhood.” --Jim Dembowski --Submitted by Catsonacouch ~~I like the idea that heat waves are caused by really awful people entering hell. It has great comedic potential.

Republicans are the true snowflakes. They're white, they're cold, and if you put enough of them together they'll shut down public schools. --- Democrats have formed a plan to make the Republicans sound stupid. The code name is “Just Let Them Talk”.

The Democratic Caucus has released a new gum flavor, Orange n' Peach Mint.

..........It's something great to see..........Oscar Brand …..I'm Feeling Good About America --Used in Gerald Ford's campaign

1) Crocodiles have a remarkable evolutionary history and are often referred to as living fossils. They have remained relatively unchanged for over 200 million years, making them one of the oldest reptile lineages on Earth.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 17, 2026. The moon was new last Tuesday (7/14) and is in Virgo. Today is Islamic New Year, LGBTQIA+ Equal Pay Awareness Day, National Garbage Man Day, Stewart's Root Beer Day, World Crocodile Day, World Day To Combat Desertification and Drought, and World Tessellation Day.

Among those born on this day were Edward I 1239, John Wesley 1703, Jon Sigurdsson 1811, John Robert Gregg 1867, Igor Stravinsky 1882, M C Escher 1898, Ralph Bellamy 1904, John Hersey 1914, James Brown 1928, Barry Manilow 1943, and Joe Piscopo 1951.

On July seventeenth Drake landed in California (1579). Goodyear obtained his first patent (1837). The Republican Party opened its first convention (1856). The Statue of Liberty arrived in NYC (1885). The first kidney was transplanted (1950). Julius & Ethel Rosenberg received a stay of execution (1953). Blacks began boycotting city stores in Tuskegee (1957). Brazil won the 7th World Cup (1962). Bible reading & prayer in public schools was outlawed (1963). 5 people were arrested burglarizing Democratic Party Headquarters at Watergate (1972).

Night Sky, 7/17 : During the day, the Moon will pass in front of Venus, casting a lunar occultation visible in the contiguous United States.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Sharing breakfast

'Nother Strangely Appropriate Random Posting of the Week: Butthole COVID Sweeps America! America Gets Diarrhea...CDC has no money. --The Daily Show

This Week: Saturday, July 18 – Insurance Nerd Day & Woodie Wagon Day & World Listening Day

Sunday, July 19 – National Ice Cream Day & Lake Superior Day & International Karaoke Day

Night Sky, 7/19: Jupiter & Venus & Mercury are visible in the west at sunset.

Monday, July 20 – Space Exploration Day & World Chess Day & Moon Day

Tuesday, July 21 -Back Women's Equal Pay Day & National Be Someone Day & No Pet Store Puppies Day

Night Sky, 7/21: Mars and Saturn rise before sunrise. Binoculars may be necessary.

Wednesday, July 22 – Casual Pi Day & National Be A Good Teammate Day & Spoonerism Day

Thursday, July 23 – Gorgeous Grandma Day & Hot Enough For Ya Day & National Sprinkle Day

Night Sky, /23: Sunrise: 5:46 am Sunset: 8:26 pm 14 hours and 40 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 9:32 am Moonset: 10:35 pm

A democrat and a Republican were out for a walk in the desert and found an ancient lamp. As a gag, they rubbed and, sure enough, a genie appeared. The genie said "I will grant one wish per person". The Republican immediately jumped forward and said "I wish all Republicans and conservatives had their own planet, separate from all these libs." The genie nodded and the Republican vanished. The Democrat then asked "Are they all on their own planet?" "Yes," said the genie. "Are you sure? All of them?" The genie said "Yes" one more time. Then the Democrat said "I guess I'll just have a glass of water then."

..........Right back where I started from.........Al Jolson …..California, Here I Come --Reagan's campaign song

2) Crocodiles have a unique tooth replacement system. They have a specialised groove in their jaws that allows new teeth to grow to replace the ones they lose. Over their lifetime, they can grow and replace thousands of teeth.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I think women should decide what to do with Mitch McConnell's body since he decided what to do with theirs. --Submitted by 98%

Moonbeam: Learning starts with failure; the first failure is the beginning of education. --John Hersey

Oxymoron of the Week: Ruler of the free world.

Video of the Week: Animated M C Escher art Stairways (1:05)

The Constitution ... contain ample provision for the protection of the life, liberty, and property of every citizen, the dearest Constitutional rights of the people of Kansas have been fraudulently and violently taken from them. --Republican Party Platform 1856

I take strong offense with anyone saying the Republican Party has no standards now. In fact, they have double standards. --- There's actually a mathematical formula to describe all the Republicans lining up to pretend like the January 6^th attack didn't happen. It's called the Fibbing Nazi Sequence.

..........Bitch, I'm from Texas.........Macklemore …..The George Bush Song --Used by Geroge H W Bush in his campaign

3) On the skin of a crocodile's snout, they have tiny pits called 'integumentary sensory organs'. These pits are sensitive to pressure changes in the water, allowing the crocodile to detect even the smallest disturbances made by potential prey or threats.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If your name is Sarah and you're not telling people it's short for Triceratops, what are you even doing with our life. --Dianne Zalman Doty --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Weird Word of the Week: Saudade: A deep feeling of longing for something that one has lost or that has never existed. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudade

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Loosen rusty nuts and bolts. Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

A Republican walks into a college bookstore and says to the clerk, “I'm looking for Trump's new book on illegal immigration. Do you have it?” The manager hears this, stomps over to the customer and yells, “GET THE F*CK OUT!” The Republican response, “Yeah, that's the one.” --- How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Twelve to investigate Obama’s involvement in the failure of the old bulb, 23 to deregulate the lightbulb industry and 51 to pass a tax credit for light bulb changes.

Democratic AI isn't very accurate. It has inconvenient Algorerhythms.

...........And he hates Bill from Little Rock.........Sam Moore …..Dole Man --take off of Soul Man used by Dole in the 1992 campaign

4) Despite their large size and seemingly clumsy appearance on land, crocodiles are excellent swimmers. They use their powerful tails to propel themselves through the water and can reach impressive speeds, sometimes exceeding 20/32 miles/kilometres per hour.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The NSA: A government agency that actually listens to you.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: JoMoCon 2016 (18-19, Joplin, MO) ...Now Two Days! https://www.jomocon.org/

Another Strangely Appropriate Random Posting of the Week: If John Fetterman leaves the Democrats for the Republicans, he will be the first senator in US history to simultaneously raise the average IQ of both parties. https://www.facebook.com/USdems

Spark of Joy of the Week: I should not have to pay this much money for clothes...People should be paying ME to not be naked. --Mommy Needs Vodka

I'm dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for halloween. I won't be leaving the house. (Or you could just dress as the grim reaper.) --- Of course Republicans are pro-life. You can't molest what isn't born.

How do Democrats apply sunscreen? Liberally.

..........Come on, it's everything.........Van Halen ..Right Now --Campaign of George W Bush

5) Crocodiles have several adaptations that make them formidable predators. Their eyes and nostrils are positioned on top of their heads, allowing them to stay partially submerged while observing their surroundings. They also have a valve in their throat that keeps their mouth closed underwater, enabling them to capture prey without swallowing water.

Protest Sign of the Week: We're Not From The Left Or The Right. We're From The Bottom And We Are Coming For Those On Top.

Quote of the Week: Trump's State Fair is so empty, you'd think it was a movie theater showing Melania. --jamie bonkiewicz

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Your daily reminder that the universe is mostly empty space. So there's room for improvement. --Submitted by Club42

Today's Peace of History: July 17, 1970: The Young Lords Party entered the Lincoln Hospital in the South Bronx, NYC. The hospital, located in a condemned and dilapidated building, was filled with pain, degradation, neglect, flies, and humiliation. The YLP set up care units in the Hospital, and drew attention to the abysmal conditions. The direct-action takeover prompted a response by the government, and the building of a new Lincoln Hospital.

The problem with Trump jokes is that Republicans don't think they're funny and Democrats don't think they're jokes. --- Republicans will never find the antifascists' plans; they've hidden them in science textbooks.

If there weren't any democrats...then who would be left?

..........Honey, I'm still free.........Abba …..Take A Chance On Me --John McCain's campaign

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, July 17, 2026: Quite Right ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: It's a failure of national vision when you regard children as weapons, and talents as materials you can mine, assay, and fabricate for profit and defense. --John Hersey

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending as of 7/16/26: $805,809,518,168

That's twenty billion, six hundred and ninety-six million, four hundred and eighty-five thousand, forty-six dollars in one week.

Pentagon Spending as of 7/9/26: $785,113,033,122

Pentagon Spending as of 7/2/26: $766,664,729,346

*** Real peace is not the absence of anything. Real peace is the presence of something beautiful. --Prem Rawat

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Measles Cases in the US: As of 7/9/26 there are 2231 confirmed measles cases in the US. That's 231 new cases this month.

June 16: 2073 confirmed cases (158 new cases)

May 26: 1,842 confirmed cases (231 new cases)

April 26: 1,748 confirmed cases. (94 new cases)

March 26: 1,362 confirmed cases. (386 new cases)

In the entire year 2010 there were only 63 confirmed cases.

https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html

That Kansas should be immediately admitted as a state of this Union, with her present Free Constitution, as at once the most effectual way of securing to her citizens the enjoyment of the rights and privileges to which they are entitled, and of ending the civil strife now raging in her territory. --Republican Party Platform 1856

Famous Last Words: Someone waits for me. --Final line of When The Blue Of The Night (Meets The Gold Of The Day) Bing Crosby's theme song which he recorded July 17, 1945.

..........You can hang out with all the boys.........The Village People …..Y M C A --Trump campaign song

It must be hard for people learning to spell in English. For example, there is one silent K in “Knight”, four silent Ks in “knickknack”. , and there are three silent Ks in “Republican:. --- A Republican Senator and a Democratic Senator are drowning and you can only save one. Do you...a: Have lunch or b: Browse reddit.

May Peace play your Matins

And Joy sing your Lullaby

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Purrfect ePistle

Famous First Words: THE HIGH CONTRACTING PARTIES, In... Treaty of Versailles 1919

In this ePistle we believe...Dinosaurs had jazz.

Ahhhh, it's Kitten Day! We gave our cat a sitness watch. Today she sat on the floor three times, the counter, a chair, a keyboard, two laps, and a term paper. Thank you, sitbit. ++ The kids camped out in the backyard, but the cat refused to stay in a pup tent.

..........Just a half a mile from the railroad track........Arlo Guthrie …..Alice's Restaurant Massacree

The solution to climate change is staring us in the face. It's energy policy. If we pursue a global clean-energy economy, we can cut dramatically the amount of carbon pollution we emit into the atmosphere and prevent the worst impacts of climate change. --John F Kerry

It is a wet Friday morning. Last night's rain dampened grass and pavement, cement and leaves. It has cooled the air (72°F) and left the scene. The cloudy sky is beginning to show bits of blue sky which now and then even allow in bits of sunshine. Summer trees are thick with leaves and are dripping water onto everything below. Squirrels and mourning doves flip drops of water from their sunflower seeds as they breakfast on the patio. No breeze moves the leaves so only a few willow branches are moving. The only sounds are hidden birdsong and car motors hurrying off to work or morning chores. The world smells wet...chemical cement, fragrant foliage, and soggy soil...the pot pourri of a summer shower. Puck has been out and come back shaking droplets from his fur. Now he sleeps under my feet. Veronica has been out, eaten some grass, returned, and disappeared onto the second floor. I sip my doctored decaf and hope I can share this wonderful morning with you.

Hope your weekend purrs all the way, faithful reader

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Well done, Belgium. I shall continue to sing the praises of your waffles. --@deadheadgirly on bluesky

In this ePistle we believe you should...Never trust a goose with a briefcase.

The difference between a cat and a comma is that a cat has claws at the ends of its paws, but a comma has a pause at the end of its clause. ++ We put a tiny top hat on our cat for his birthday. Now he thinks he's a dandy lion.

..........While we seek mirth and beauty........Arlo Guthrie …..Hard Times Comes Again No More

Trivia Questions: Happy 136^th Birthday to Wyoming!!

1. Do you know the origin and/or meaning of the name Wyoming?

2. In 1869 women became eligible to vote in Wyoming. What reasons do historians give for this?

3. Where does Wyoming rank among the states in area size and/or population size?

4. There is only one public 4-year educational institution in Wyoming. Can you name it?

5. How much of Wyoming is actually owned by the US government?

Big Hello: Bondjoû - Walloon (Belgium) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Not saying that game was stolen from Egypt, but it is now on display at the museum in London. --Kitty on Bluesky

Image of the Week: Baby cardinal on my patio. He's so cute.

Insult of the Week: The c*nt of mostly Crisco. --Submitted by TPWJS

In this ePistle we believe...Kevin knows what he did.

A pile of kittens is known as a meowtain. ++ Ah, it's a gif of Batman sharing a mouse with Catwoman. ++ Faris the feline Bartender invented the Whisker Sour.

.........Could we ever feel much finer..........Arlo Guthrie …..Comin' Into Los Angeles

Moonbeam: When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. --Saul Bellow

Blasphemy of the Week: The only thing sadder than an adult with an imaginary friend...is an adult with an imaginary enemy. --Submitted by Blasphemy Memes

Coffee Joke of the Week: Our household ran out of coffee, somebody failed at leadership. I don't care who. Form a committee, immediately, and fix the bean shortage. https://www.facebook.com/maythecoffeebewithyou

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's been an exhausting couple of days controlling the weather to ruin the Trump250 festivities. You think I just push a button but it's a lot more labor intensive than that. https://www.facebook.com/TauntTheElephant

In this ePistle we believe...Nothing happens for a reason.

My insurance company has a new mascot – a cute kitty. They've named it Copay Cat. ++ My cat uses mousewash for fresh breath.

..........Just raise hell as we go along..........Arlo Guthrie …..St. James Infirmary Blues

1) The name Wyoming comes from the Lenape Indian word mecheweami-ing, which means at or on the big plain.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 10, 2026. The moon will be new next Tuesday (7/14) and is in Taurus. Today is Alcoholics Anonymous (Founders) Day, BallPoint Pen Day, Be A Miracle In Someone's Life Day, Drink Chenin Blanc Day, Iced Tea Day, National Egg Roll Day, and National Frosted Cookies Day.

Among those born on this day were Gustave Courbet 1819, Immanuel Velikovsky 1895, Frederick Loewe 1904, Howlin' Wolf 1910, Terence Rattigan 1911, Saul Bellow 1914, Judy Garland (Frances Gumm) 1922, Earl Hamner, Jr. 1923, Baby June Haver 1926, Maurice Sendak 1928, F. Lee Bailey 1933, Ron Glass 1945. Matthew Fisher 1946, Timothy Van Patten 1959, Gary Wallis 1964, and Elizabeth Hurley 1965.

On July tenth Franklin's kite was struck by lightning 1752, NY regulated the medical profession 1760, the Continental Congress appointed a committee to write a Declaration of Independence 1776, the rubber tire was patented 1846, Tristan & Isolde was first performed 1865, The Elks Lodge was founded 1899, The first forest fire lookout tower was built 1905, Robert Smith & William Wilson formed Alcoholics Anonymous 1935, Janis Joplin gave her first live concert 1966, Coca Cola returned to its old formula 1985.

Night Sky, 7/10: The Milky Way will be visible in the Teapot cluster in the sign of Sagittarius along the southern horizon.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The Butterfly feeders

This Week: Saturday, July 11 – Bald Is In Day & Cheer Up The Lonely Day & World Population Day

Sunday, July 12 – Different Colored Eyes Day & International Day of Hope & Paper Bag Day & Night of Nights

Night Sky, 7/12: Morning planets: Mars – small and reddish before sunrise. Saturn in golden hues high in the southeast predawn. Neptune & Uranus also in the morning sky but you may need binoculars.

Monday, July 13 – Embrace Your Geekness Day & Gruntled Workers Day & National Be Your Own Boss Day & National Barbershop Music Appreciation Day.

Tuesday, July 14 – Bastille Day & International Nude Day & World Chimpanzee Day

Night Sky, 7/14: Evening planets: Venus is the evening star but mostly lost in the solar glare. Jupiter is sinking rapidly toward the horizon in the evening twilight.

Wednesday, July 15 – Be A Dork Day & National Hot Dog Day & Take Your Poet To Work Day

Thursday, July 16 – World Snake Day & Get To Know Your Customers Day & National Guinea Pig Day

Night Sky, 7/16: Sunrise: 6:08 am Sunset: 8:45 pm 14 hours and 37 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 9:07 am Moonset: 6:13 pm

In this ePistle we believe...It's further to L A than by bus.

Our kitten has stayed small and never grew much. I think it was the condensed milk we gave her. ++ I can tell when the cat has been using my computer; there's litter in the letters.

..........Like a river flows surely to the sea..........Arlo Guthrie …..Can't Help Falling In Love

2) Wyoming was the first state to offer suffrage to women. The reasons the resolution won: a) a genuine conviction that women should have the same rights as men b) a desire to attract new settlers by appearing more modern and c) some men voted for it just to be able to say they did, believing that the bill did not have enough votes to pass. The state motto is Equal Rights.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Chant heard at a World Cup game: He's fat... with piles... he's in the Epstein files... --The English fans

Moonbeam: Science is the key to our future, and if you don't believe in science, then you're holding everybody back. --Don Herbert aka Mr Wizard

Artism of the Week: AI artwork looks the way Christian rock sounds. --Danielle on bluesky

Video of the Week: Louise Lasser as Mary Hartman: Waxy Yellow Build Up (1:41) https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x61gqc6

The safest nuclear power or energy policy is to realize “zero nuclear power”. --Naoto Kan

In this ePistle we believe...Every raccoon is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

Carl Cat went to therapy because he has so many hissues. ++ I've noticed kittens these days seem to be into hip-hop.

..........This train's got the disappearing railroad blues..........Arlo Guthrie …..City Of New Orleans

3) Wyoming is the 10^th largest state by area (97,818 square miles) and the smallest, (50^th) in population (586,000).

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: And he owns all these beauty pageants, Miss America, Miss Universe. Isn't that a bit like Michael Vick owning a series of pet stores? It's a f*cking catch and release program for him. This is a man who said, “'My daughter is hot. “ Even people in Arkansas went, “That's f*cking wrong.” --Robin Williams (2012) --Submitted by TPWJS

Weird Word of the Week: Mamihlapinatapei: A wordless, meaningful look between 2 people who both desire something but are hesitant to initiate. (Yaghan word from Tierra del Fuego) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mamihlapinatapai

Dragon of the Week: This is my dragon, or at least her face, she was made for me by my friend, Jo, with a 3D printer belonging to someone at her Bridge club. I don't know how to spell or pronounce her dragon name so I call her Dread the Red.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Give piano keys more traction. Fill a trigger-spray bottle with Coca-Cola and lightly mist the piano keys. Dry with a soft, clean cloth. The thin coat of Coca-Cola leaves a sticky film that prevents the pianist's fingers from slipping across the keys. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

In this ePistle we believe...Birds deserve tiny pants.

Professor Carey Cat teaches Meowthematic at the University of Catalonia. ++ I understand that cats play hairball. Is there a world cup for that?

...........I don't want a tickle..........Arlo Guthrie …..The Motorcycle Song

4) The University of Wyoming in Laramie has a student body of 10,819. Go! Cowpeople!!

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Belgium may have beaten the hell out of the US in the World Cup, but when this is all over the Belgians have to use their longer paid vacations to take their higher standard of living back to their much safer country where they'll have to spend their much longer life expectancies thinking about it. ----stevehofstetter --Submitted by cjj of ks

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Black Hills Con 2026 (12-14, Rapid City, SD) ...bring geeks, nerds, and anyone else a place to gather... https://www.blackhillscon.com/

Whatever This Is of the Week: It's Teddy Bears Picnic Day. Teddy Bears Picnic was the theme song for Big John and Sparky's Saturday morning radio show: No School Today

Spark of Joy of the Week: A group of zebras is called a Dazzle. --Submitted by ja of ks A group of ladybugs is called a loveliness. --Lisa Mcdavid

In this ePistle we believe...Tuesdays do not exist; they are a collective hallucination invented by big calendar.

My cat throws tantrums. I took her to the vet who said she's a catastrophe. ++ When my cat bakes he uses the whiskers a lot.

..........And grace my fears relieved..........Arlo Guthrie …..Amazing Grace

5) 48% of Wyoming is owned by the federal government. It includes national forests, the National Grassland, and an air force base in the capital, Cheyenne.

Protest Sign of the Week: Trump Has Made #22 Billion+ Since His Re-Election. How Much Have You Made?

Quote of the Week: “I consider looseness with words no less of a defect than looseness of the bowels. --John Calvin ~~I read Calvin in Western Civ at KU. I felt like the proper response to the ideas I found there would be to rush into class a little late, jump onto the table and shout “Calvin ain't for shit!” In the hopes that someone would be so startled they would respond, “Yes he is.” I didn't do that, of course, but if this quote had been part of the class reading, I might have.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Schrödinger's McConnell. https://www.facebook.com/RadioRockyMoun

Today's Peace of History: July 10, 1985: The Greenpeace flagship, Rainbow Warrior (named after a North American Indian legend), was blown up in Auckland Harbour, New Zealand, killing one and sinking the ship. The attack had been authorized by French President François Mitterand because the environmental organization had plans to protest France’s nuclear bomb tests in the South Pacific.

In this ePistle we believe...Everything happens for a reason, usually Greg.

What do you call a cat that can play guitar? Jimi Hendrix ++ I just bought a subscription to Good Mousekeeping for my cat.

..........And there wasn't any big parade..........Arlo Guthrie …..When A Soldier Comes Back Home

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, July 10, 2026: Purrfect ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. --Marcel Proust

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 7/9/26: $785,113,033,122

~~That's eighteen billion, four hundred and forty-eight million, three hundred and three thousand, seven hundred and seventy-six dollars spent last week. ($18,448,303,776)

Pentagon Spending as of 7/2/26: $766,664,729,346

***Peace cannot be kept by force; it must be achieved by understanding. --Albert Einstein

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

We need a balanced, long term energy policy to reduce our dependence on foreign oil and preserve the beauty of the land we love. --Heather Wilson

Famous Last Words: You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant.

..........And remain each day amazed........Arlo Guthrie …..Massachusetts

In this ePistle we believe you should...Be the chaos you wish to see in the supermarket.

Clyde Cat's favorite mice cream flavor is Whisker-Doodle. ++ My neighbor's cat is pawsitively the luckiest. She just won the lottery.

May Peace ease you through the day

And Joy purr you to sleep at night

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Cycled ePistle

Famous First Words: Make yourself comfortable. --Superman First words spoken - Action Comics #1 (June 1938)

The 2026 Tour de France begins tomorrow in Barcelona. Chuck Norris once won the Tour de France on a stationary bike. /\ I had a boyfriend who cycled. He used to say things like, “I want to strip you like an undeserved Tour de France title. /\ Two Kerrymen were sitting in a pub when the Tour de France came on the tv. One of the guys turned to the other and asked, “Why do they do that? Why ride miles and miles, up and down hills, around bends, day after day, for weeks? Why do they torture themselves like that?” “It's all for the money,” says the other, “The winner gets half a million pounds.” “I see”, says the questioner, “but why do the others do it?”

..........Whisper of how I'm yearning to mingle with the old time throng..........James Cagney …..Give My Regards To Broadway ~~All of today's song were written or co-written by George M Cohan

Some people think outside the box.

Freedom Week (4-11): The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. --Albert Camus

It is a splendid Friday morning. 77°F with a light wind is not yet hot but it is a little muggy. Birds are busy chattering and singing before the sun gets too high and too hot. There are no real clouds, only small puffs of humidity hovering here and there. They do not provide shade nor play peek-a-boo with the sun. Puck has been out and returned to sleep and cough under my desk. Veronica was around earlier but has disappeared upstairs somewhere leaving a trail of catnip mice and brightly colored balls. I am sipping my doctored decaf and gently petting Puck with my foot. Algeria lost their world cup game last night and Lawrence is mourning the loss. I am not looking forward to a weekend of fireworks and frightened birds (Puck has never paid much attention; explosions, meh). Be safe out there, ePistliers, happy 250^th birthday!

~~Yes, last week I said I was drinking leaded coffee instead of my usual decaf. No, I have not “fallen off the wagon”. I had a restless night and needed a pick-me-up.

Hope all your weekend fireworks are beautiful, matriots and patriots.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Forget a blue wave. I want a Mamdani tsunami. https://www.facebook.com/wokeginger

The first Tour de France was actually won by the 7^th German Panzer Division. /\ First my bike chain went rusty, next my handlebars came loose, then my whole bike fell apart. Chain reaction!

..........I'm a real live nephew of my Uncle Sam.........Bert Parks …..I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy

Some people can't find the box.

Trivia Questions: Happy 136^th Birthday to Idaho!

1. Do you know the origin and/or meaning of the name Idaho?

2. What percentage of Idaho is “public land”?

3. About how many acres of Idaho are considered “wild land”?

4. What percentage of the US potato crop comes from Idaho?

5. Do you know Idaho's nickname?

Big Hello: Tereq – Vōro (Estonia, 75,000 speakers) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Here's my issue, why are fancy burgers so tall. What do you expect me to do with that? Unlock my jaw like a serpent? I can't accommodate that. A good burger should have a wider circumference, not more height. Think about a frisbee or a vinyl. That's ambition, that's progress. --super mario griff --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Image of the Week: My daughter Kirsten sent me this picture of her in Gig Harbor, WA. ~~Fine Print: Pride Education Acceptance Compassion Equity

First Freedom Quote of the Week: If you've never been in my shoes, you have ZERO business telling me how to tie my laces. --Submitted by Feral Spiritualists

Just WATCHING the Tour de France makes my back hurt. I'm just gonna schedule a massage. /\ A 3 time Tour de France winner just said it was time he retired. Then he bought two brand new Continental tyres with wheels.

..........Long before the fashions came.........Bob Hope …..Mary's A Grand Old Name

Some people are the reason the box has a warning label.

Moonbeam: Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old. --Franz Kafka

Blasphemy of the Week: Behold, the dumpster is burning with fire, but the dumpster is not consumed. --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

Coffee Joke of the Week: Coffee is my spirit animal.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: At middle age, the growth of a woman's hair on her legs slows down, which gives her time to care for her newly acquired beard. --Submitted by ks of ks

I watch the Tour de France, only I call it “Tour de Tight Pants”. /\ I once had a job fixing broken bicycle horns. My company's motto was “beep repaired”

..........I'm glad you told me the truth.........Henry Burr …..You Remind Me Of My Mother

1) Version 1: Idaho derived from a Native American word that means “the land of many waters”. English has kept closely to the indigenous pronunciation. Version 2: Despite the popular belief that it is an Indigenous term meaning "Gem of the Mountains," the name "Idaho" is actually not a Native American word. It was fabricated by a white mining lobbyist, George M. Willing, who falsely claimed it was a Shoshone phrase before Congress named the territory

Almanac: It is Friday, July 3, 2026. The moon was full last Monday (6/29) and is in Aquarius. Today is American Sparkling Wine Day, Compliment Your Mirror Day, Drop A Rock Day aka Rock Painting Day, International Plastic Bag Free Day, National Crown Day aka Black Hair Independence Day, National Deep Fried Clams Day, Sparkling Wine Day, Stay Out Of The Sun Day, and Superman Day. Because it is the first Friday it is also Big Tech Day.

Among those born on this day were Louis XI of France 1423, Samuel de Champlain 1567, John Singleton Copley 1738, Charlotte Perkins Gilman 1860, Geroge M Cohan 1878, Franz Kafka 1883,

George Sanders 1906, Tony Curtis 1925, David Lynch 1929, Roger Christian 1934, Tom Stoppard 1937, Gloria Allred 1941, Geraldo Rivera 1943, and Tom Cruise 1962.

On July third The city of Quebec was founded (1608). The 1st savings bank in the US opened (NYC) (1819). The 1st state normal school in the US opened (MA) (1839). Idaho became the 43rd state (1890). The Jaycees were forced to admit women as members (1984).

Night Sky, 7/3: Predawn planets in the east: Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, & Pluto.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Sword Fight with Balloon Weapons

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: These gas prices are the reason the armies in Revelation are riding horses. --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

This Week: Saturday, July 4 – USA Independence Day ...Happy Two Hundred and fiftieth!!

…......You're a high flying flag.........Mike Story …..You're A Grand Old Flag

Sunday, July 5 – Bikini Day & Thong Day

Night Sky, : Predawn Mars & Uranus can be seen in the east (Taurus). Saturn & Neptune rise early in the evening. Jupiter is low in the west just after sunset.

Monday, July 6 – International Kissing Day & World Kiss Day

Night Sky, 7/6: Earth at Aphelion: Earth will be at its greatest distance from the sun this year at 12 pm CDT.

Tuesday, July 7 – Chocolate Day & Dive Bar Day & National Day of Rock n' Roll & Tell The Truth Day

Wednesday, July 8 – National Video Game Day & SCUD (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama)

Night Sky, : Sunrise: 6:01 am CDT Sunset: 8:48 pm CDT 14 Hours and 47 minutes of daylight Moonrise: 12:50 am Moonset: 2:48 pm

Thursday, July 9 – Bald Is In Day & Deadhead Day & National Dimples Day

Amsterdam is like the Tour de France: a lot of people on drugs riding bikes. /\ My old man was a peddler. He sold bicycles door to door.

..........So we ought to all be glad that we're alive.........George M Cohan .....I'm Mighty Glad I'm Living, That's All

2) A whopping 63% of the state is considered public land. ...parks, reserves, lakes, and rivers, etc. I don't know whether it includes buildings, lawns, roads, and jails, etc.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I set my standards high. Actually I do a lot of things high. --Submitted by ks of ks

Moonbeam: Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy. --Franz Kafka

Fun Fact of the Week: We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. --Benjamin Franklin

Video of the Week: An explanation of why the Jaycees were forced to admit women: (:50) Roberts vs Jaycees

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. --George Bernard Shaw

A small insect nest in the middle of a little used highway was destroyed when all 186 Tour de France riders ran over it. Talk about cross ants. /\ An environmentalist entered the Tour de France but every night he would run the same route that they had biked during the day. He just had to recycle

..........Then the fates blow rather breezy.........George M Cohan …..Life's A Funny Proposition After All

3) There are about 4,522,506 acres of wild land in Idaho. Yes, this means there are no roads there.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If kinetic energy can be converted to thermal energy, how hard do I need to slap a chicken to cook it?

Weird Word of the Week: Heliolatry: A worship or reverence of the sun https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/heliolatry

Dragon of the Week: 40 feet high, made of train parts

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean mold and mildew from clothes. Pour a two liter bottle of Coca-Cola into a washing machine, add your regular detergent, let the machine fill with water, and let the clothes soak for thirty minutes before running them through the regular cycle. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

There is a new reality show this summer where the goal is to do as many drugs as possible without dying or getting caught. It's called the Tour de France. /\ It gets more expensive to buy a tyre pump every year. It's all because of inflation.

...........The folks expect a street parade.........George M Cohan …..You Won't Do Any Business If You Haven't Got A Band

4) Nearly one third of America's potatoes are grown in Idaho.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Instead of “single” as a marital status, I prefer “independently owned and operated”. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CONvergence 2026 (2-5, Minneapolis, MN) ...the Geek in the Machine. https://www.convergence-con.org/

Surprise Blasphemy of the Week: It's strange that God made Shakespeare a better writer than Himself.? --Sam Harris --Submitted by MMS

Spark of Joy of the Week: If common sense were free, there'd still be people waiting for it to go on sale. --Submitted by jm or ks

Lance Armstrong is amazing. To recover from testicular cancer and win the Tour de France 7 consecutive times. I don't care that he used drugs. When I was using drugs I couldn't even find my bike. /\ Did you hear about the lunatic who won the Tour de France in one day? He took the psycho path.

..........H A double R I G A N.........James Cagney ....Harrigan

5) Idaho is sometimes called the Gem State. 72 types of precious stones are found in the state.

Protest Sign of the Week: Sperm Cause All Abortions Outlaw Ejaculation

Quote of the Week: So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me for I, too, am fluent in silence. --R Arnold --Submitted by bu of ks

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm having dejamnesia vu. I think I've forgotten this before. --Submitted by cp of ks

Today's Peace of History: July 3, 1835: Children employed in the silk mills at Paterson, NJ, went on strike for an eleven-hour workday and a six-day work week rather than 12-14 hour days. With the help of adults, they won a compromise settlement of a 69-hour week.

A cyclist threw in the towel halfway through the race; picked up his bike and went home. Seconds later a minor avalanche killed 3 teammates that he had been riding next to. Survival of Defeatist. /\ Bank tellers are barred from the Tour de France because they keep losing their balance.

..........The Yanks are coming.........Nora Bayes …..Over There

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, July 3, 2026: Cycled ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: A book should serve as the ax for the frozen sea within us. --Franz Kafka

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 7/2/26: $766,664,729,346 ~~That's three billion, nine hundred and forty one million, two hundred and eighty-nine thousand five hundred and seventeen dollar in one day!

Pentagon Spending as of 7/1/26: $762,723,439,829

***Make wars unprofitable and you make them impossible. --A Philip Randolph

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest. --Denis Diderot

Famous Last Words: Are you still there? --Jim Morrison who died 7/3/71 of heart failure perhaps caused by a heroin overdose.

.........Don't forget to come back home.........Ada Jones …..So Long, Mary

Today I rode my bike a mile to the store. So, I guess you can say my Tour de France dreams are getting pretty serious. /\ Lance Armstrong was selling his Tour de France bikes. A potential buyer asked what's the lowest he would go and he said, “About two mph, otherwise you'd tip over.”

May Peace be your companion

And Joy be your sidekick

prairie mama

christine

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