eTernal ePistle

Famous First Words: You told'st me thou didst hold him in thy hate. Not another political ad; it's the opening line of Othello spoken by Roderigo to Iago

Happy Plan Your Epitaph Day! Adams to Atoms -Joseph J Adams + I'd rather be reading this. --Esther Freer + Excuse My Dust --Dorothy Parker

..........'cause he rides the rodeo.........Judy Collins ….Someday Soon

It's not the voting that's democracy; it's the counting. --Tom Stoppard

It is crisp (44°F) Friday morning. The sky is blue without cloud or jet trail. There is no breeze to cause the limbs to dance or tear the leaves from their branches. The backyard squirrels are busy talking, or perhaps it's singing, with their little squeaks. Red and yellow tomatoes (in November) still cling to the vine waiting to be chosen for a salad or salsa. As the sun rises it reveals the many colors, the greens of garden plants and the reddish brown of the tree across the street, the yellows of the leaves on the ground. Even the red car in the driveway down the street blends into the fall motif. Puck, who went out briefly, is sleeping at my feet with a gentle snort of intaken breaths. Mary comes and goes into and out of our room silently. I am sipping creamy, sweetened half-caf and watching as a light eastern breeze arises and shakes the yellowed stem of what was once a sunflower. Kansas in autumn and I get to write to you. Great day,

Have a lively weekend, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why is such a large part of early child education learning what sounds animals make. That's never going to come up. It's not even important if they ever meet those animals. I've never said “moo” to a cow and have it go “thank you for learning about my culture”. --Kyle --Submitted by FNOG

Here lies the shell, but the nut is gone –- Williams + The doctor will see you soon –Helen Tyler + There goes the neighborhood --Rodney Dangerfield

..........Who was once a bull-hooking son of a gun.........Moe Bandy ….Bandy the Rodeo Clown

Trivia Questions: Happy Prime Meridian Day!

• ^ What is the Prime Meridian anyway?
• ^^ How long is the Prime Meridian?
• ^^^ Which 3 continents does the Prime Meridian cross?
• ^^^^ How old is the Prime Meridian construct?
• ^^^^^ What's the difference between the Prime Meridian and the International Reference Meridian*

Big Hello: Alii – Palauan (Palau, Guam, & North Mariana Islands) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Has anyone else found it weird that when “Star Trek” boldly goes where no one has gone before, they always find someone there? --Submitted by bc of tx

Image of the Week: Jeff got a jump on the season. He has Christmas Lights on his third floor balcony to keep his pumpkin company.

Library Humor of the Week: I won't pay the fine; I hated that book. https://www.facebook.com/librarylaughs

Pardon me for not rising. --Johnny Yeast + At last a hole in one. --Joel Cheskin + The best is yet to come --Frank Sinatra

..........I'd like to say that I took the reins and rode away.........Reba McEntire & Cody Johnson …..Dear Rodeo

Moonbeam: Sometimes, the most profound of awakenings come wrapped in the quietest of moments. --Stephen Crane

Blasphemy of the Week: There is no biblical evidence that Jesus even knew how to parallel park. Letting him take the wheel seems a bit irresponsible. --Submitted by FNOG

Both Sides Now of the Week: Kamala Harris can run over thousands of Palestinians in a tank on 5^th Avenue in broad daylight and blue maga would still vote for her. --Submitted by MMS

Puzzle of the Week: From listener David Dickerson, of Tucson, Arizona. The city UTICA, NEW YORK, when spelled out, contains 12 letters, all of them different. Think of a well-known U.S. city, that when its name is spelled out, contains 13 letters, all of them different. Your answer doesn't have to match mine. NPR Sunday Puzzle 10/28/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Letting men decide about women's health care is like letting your dog make decisions about your car because he likes to ride in it sometimes. --Submitted by 98%

Shit Happens –Edith Barlow + If you can read this, you are standing on my boobs –Bolamo + In --Jack Lemmon

..........Live fast, die young.........Johnny Cash …..Bull Rider

^ The Prime Meridian is an imaginary line that runs through Greenwich, a borough of London. It passes through the North and South poles and is also known as the 0° meridian. The Prime Meridian splits the globe into eastern and western hemispheres.

Almanac: It is Friday, November 1, 2024. The moon is new today (8:47 am) and is in Scorpio. Today is All Saints' Day, Author's Day, Cinnamon Day, Dia de Los Muertos (Day of The Dead), Extra Mile Day, Forgiveness & Happiness Day, Give Up Your Shoulds Day, International Pet Groomer Appreciation Day, National Authors' Day, National Biologic Coordinators Day, National Brush Day, National Calzone Day, National Family Caregiver Day, National Family Literacy Day, National Go Cook For Your Pets Day, National Sports Fan Day, Plan Your Epitaph Day, Prime Meridian Day, and World Vegan Day.

It is also the Celtic holiday Samhain. Because it is the First Friday it is Fountain Pen Day, Love Your Lawyer Day, National (Football) Day, and National Medical Science Liaison Awareness & Appreciation Day. And because it is the first weekend it is National Farm Toys Day and Pumpkin Chunkin Days.

Among those born on this day were Benvenuto Cellini (1500), Benjamin Lee Guinness (1798), Stephen Crane (1871), Sholem Asch (1880), James J. Kilpatrick (1920), Gary Player (1935), Larry Flynt (1942), Marcia Wallace (1942), and Lyle Lovett (1960).

On November first Vesuvius buried Pompei (79), Othello was first staged (1611), the mission at San Juan Capistrano was founded (1776), John Adams was the first president to move into the White House (1800), the first US women's medical school opened (1848), the US Weather Bureau began operations (1870), the Rodeo Cowboys Association was founded (1936), Charles Cooper became the first black NBA player (Celtics, 1950), the first concert was presented at the Fillmore in San Francisco (1965), the Eisenhower dollar went into circulation (1971), and the European Union came into existence (1993).

Night Sky, 11/1: November fireballs? Every year from about late October through mid-November, a truly dazzling Taurid meteor just might take you by surprise in the night. If you get very lucky. Normally the broad, weak, South and North Taurid meteor showers sputter along sparsely. Under ideal conditions you might see 5 or 10 ordinary little meteors per hour during the poorly defined, weeks-long maximum when the two branches of the shower overlap. Both include debris shed by Comet 2P/Encke, but a recent analysis shows that a host of other objects — near-Earth asteroids, collisional fragments, and dormant cometary nuclei — might be creating several overlapping streams of particles. Consequently, both Taurid components have long-lasting "maxima" that aren’t easy to pin down. What makes the Taurids potentially exciting is that their small numbers are known for a high proportion of bright fireballs — occasionally, an extremely bright one that makes the news. The Taurids strike the atmosphere at a relatively slow 19 miles (30 km) per second. If you see an especially bright, slow meteor these nights, check whether its line of flight, if traced backward far enough across the sky, would intersect more or less the Pleiades side of Taurus. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Gettin' spooky

This Week: Saturday, November 2 – Bison Day & National Play Outside Day & World Chili Day

Night Sky, 11/2: Daylight-saving time, observed in most of North America, ends at 2 am Sunday morning. Clocks "fall back" one hour. Daylight time for North America runs from the second Sunday in March to the first Sunday in November; the rules last changed in 2007. Daylight time is not used in Hawaii, Saskatchewan, Puerto Rico, or in most of Arizona.

Sunday, November 3 – Cliché Day & Public Television Day & Sandwich Day & Zero Tasking Day

Monday, November 4 – National Candy Day & Use Your Common Sense Day

Tuesday, November 5 – Election Day & Firewood Day & World Tsunami Awareness Day

Wednesday, November 6 – International Stress Awareness Day & Marijuana Recreational Legalization Day

Night Sky, 11/6: Saturn, magnitude +0.8 in Aquarius, is well up in the southeast as the stars come out. Don't confuse it with Fomalhaut two fists to its lower right. Saturn is highest in the south by 9 pm daylight-saving time.

Thursday, November 7 – National Men Make Dinner Day & Notary Public Day & Stout Day

Finally found a place to park in Georgetown --Katherine Brown + Destined to be a woman with too many cats –Susan Blanchard + Don't try --Charles Bukowski

..........Wild horse rider with nothin' to lose...........Luke Kaufman …..Broncin'

^^ The Prime Meridian is 20,000 km (12,447 miles) long.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In your guts, you know he's nuts.

Moonbeam: Baseball ought never be hurried. It is the only unhurried institution we have left, which is one reason, I think, we love it. --James J Kilpatrick

Fun Facts of the Week: Happy Fountain Pen Day! Every fountain pen is unique! After using your ink pen for a long time, the nib slowly personalizes itself to your handwriting, making the pen special for you. The tip wears out to exactly your style, making it sometimes challenging to lend your pen out to other pen pals! This might come as a surprise, but left-handed people more often use fountain pens than right-handed people around the world!

Video of the Week: Lyle Lovett: If I Had a Boat: https://americana-uk.com/video-lyle-lovett-if-i-had-a-boat

If American women would increase their voting turnout by 10% I think we would see an end to all of the budget cuts in programs benefiting women and children. --Coretta Scott King

I see dumb people --Micah Green + Oh well whatever –Lola Holt + I'm a writer, but then, nobody's perfect --Billy Wilder

..........And each night begins a new day..........Willie Nelson …..Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys

^^^ The Prime Meridian runs through Europe, Africa, and Antarctica.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Whenever you take yourself too seriously, remember that you share 70% of your DNA with a banana. --Submitted by sb of ar

Samhain 2024: From The Busy Pagan – Everything you need to know about Samhain: https://thebusypagan.com/pagan-holidays/samhain/ Sacred Samhain! Blessed Be

Weird Word of the Week: Shufti or shufty – to look. From the Arabic, “have you seen?” http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa-shu1.html

Dragon of the Week: Coffee table

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Groom a mustache or eyebrows. A little ChapStick will keep the ends of a mustache waxed together and keep bushy eyebrow hairs in place. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/chapstick.html

He never killed a man that did not need killing –Robert Allison + I'd rather be in Acapulco --Edward Gann + I will not be right back after this message. --Merv Griffin

...........It's another great day to be looking that good.........Kenny Feidler …..Barrel Racer Land

^^^^ The Prime Meridian was established in 1884 at the International Meridian Conference in Washington, DC. It was the internationally recognized prime meridian until it was replaced by the International Reference Meridian*(IRM) in 1984.

*I'd never heard of it either and though I have read the definition (below) everyday this week, I'm still not sure I understand it

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Trump could shoot me on 5 Avenue and I would still find a way to vote for Harris. Submitted by bu of ks

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Creation Chicago 2024 (1-3, Rosemont, IL) the ultimate Supernatural fan event /https://www.choosechicago.com/event/creation-chicago-salute-to-supernatural-2/2024-11-03/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Science, Engineering, and Technology (1-2, NYC) share ideas with peers in person. https://www.allconferencealert.com/event/1183171

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Caspar, Wyoming

I knew this would happen –George W Jr + This ain't bad – once you get used to it --Murphy Dreher Jr + Damn it's dark down here –Fran Thatcher

..........And his wounds have almost healed.........Garth Brooks …..Rodeo

^^^^^ The prime meridian is a fixed line of longitude at 0°, while the IRM is a weighted average of the reference meridians of many ground stations. The IRM moves as the Earth's surface shifts.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: In the past week, U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene claimed a voting machine had changed a voter’s ballot in her Georgia district during early voting, and Elon Musk, the billionaire owner of the social media platform X, has promoted various conspiracy theories about voting machines and voter fraud both online and at a rally for Trump in Pennsylvania. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/election-officials-confront-tsunami-of-voting-conspiracy-theories

Quote of the Week: When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called “the People's Stick.” --Mikhail Bakunin

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I think I need to quit my job and focus on my laundry. --Submitted by INRITH

Today's Peace of History, November 1, 1848: The New England Female Medical College was founded, becoming the first institution in the US to train women in medicine and graduated the first black female physician, Dr Rebecca Lee Crumpler (1864)

Too bad … We had fun –Constance Bigsby + Stepped on the gas instead of the brake --Jonathan Blake + You've come home --Lucille Ball

..........what else can make a man hold on that tight..........Jenny Tolman …..Rodeo Must Be a Woman

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, November 1, 2024, eTernal ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Writing comes more easily if you have something to say. --Sholem Asch

Cost of War:

• As of 10/31/24 State Department Costs $249,502,256,656
• As of 10/24/24 State Department Costs: $248,970,969,494
• As of 10/31/24 Homeland Security: $1,182,718,054,199
• As of 10/24/24 Homeland Security: $1,182,140,910,690
• As of 10/31/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,255,989,416,760
• As of 10/24/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,254,505,483,247
• As of 10/31/24 Military Costs: $3,113,306,878,365
• As of 10/24/24 Military Costs: $3,112,180,158,539
• As of 10/31/24 Veterans Care: $3,945,983,427,0154
• As of 10/24/24 Veterans Care: $3,934,734,141,704
• As of 10/31/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,747,502,367,834
• As of 10/24/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,732,534,269,942

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Elections belong to the people. It's their decision. If they decide to turn their back on the fire and burn their behinds, then they will just have to sit on their blisters. --Abraham Lincoln

Famous Last Words: That's all folks --Mel Blanc's tombstone

..........just to bathe my wearisome soul.........The Byrds …..I Am a Pilgrim (from the album Sweetheart of the Rodeo) Happy 88^th Birthday to the Rodeo Cowboys Association

If you're reading this, you desperately need a hobby –Alan Willcox + I'm just resting my eyes –Gloria Russell + And away we go --Jackie Gleason

May Peace grace your days
And Joy fill your nights
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: Happy National Authors Day

sPooky ePistle

 Famous First Words: Once upon a midnight dreary... --Edgar Allen Poe The Raven

All Hallows Eve approaches and the veil between the layers thins... Let's put the fun back in funeral. I don't want this to become a grave affair. In fact, schedule my funeral for 3 in the afternoon; I've never been a mourning person.

..........At a dark, bewitchin' hour when the fun was loud and hearty.........Louis Armstrong …..Skeleton in the Closet

It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world --John Steinbeck

It is a delightful Friday morning. The sky is clear blue, the temperature is 54°F with a light breeze the smells of last night's rain. Squirrels and birds and even the trees seem to be celebrating that rain. Windchimes outside the window twist and tintinnabulate in a strange early morning ritual. I sit at my computer while Puck sleeps on a pile of the clothes I wore yesterday (because Mary is sleeping on his pillow). My half-caf is warm and dark and it sits next to a bottle of iced water. And I get to write to you. This has all the making of a really fine day.

Hope you have a fun and safe Halloween, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People who become right wing because they get annoyed by leftists are weak willed, most leftists are annoyed by leftists every single day. --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief

A pillow fight with Death has reaper cushions. Actually the Reaper's son is so cute. He wears the ragged hoodie robe and carries a giant johnny mop. But he's only powerful enough to give you a brush with Death.

..........You could hear hell singing that victory song..........Anne Wilson …..Devil

Trivia Questions: All Hallows Eve – Blessed Be

• ^ How many bones are in the human skeleton?
• ^^ What was the original purpose of bobbing for apples?
• ^^^ What was the original name of candy corn?
• ^^^^ Would you care to estimate the number of calories in the average trick-or-treat bag?
• ^^^^^ Who was the first first lady to decorate the white house for Halloween?

Big Hello: Halo – Oshiwambo (Namibia and Angola) https://omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

First Halloween Tip of the Week: Halloween is right around the corner...Don't Buy Nestle Brand Treats! Nestle steals water from First Nations. --Submitted by 98%

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: On November 5^th, it will be as if the whole world is waiting for the results of a biopsy. --Submitted by rhb of ks

Image of the Week: The first White House Halloween Decorations 1958 ~~This is on the test.

Halloween Library Jokes the Week: The library in Halloweentown has the world's largest collection of books by ghostwriters. Our local library celebrates Halloween with a monster book sale.

I can't decide whether to be buried where it's the mortician's job to make me look dead gorgeous or to be cremated where I'm bound to get a smokin' hot body, at least for a few minutes. But seriously, a burial site is the last thing I need.

..........Does the man become the monster or the monster become man..........Motionless in White …..Werewolf

Moonbeam: You don't play against opponents, you play against the game of basketball. --Bobby Knight

Blasphemy of the Week: If God didn't send Jesus into the world to condemn it, I doubt he sent you. --Submitted by MMS

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Mike Selinker, of Renton, Wash. Think of a drink whose name is a compound word. Delete the first letter of the first word and you'll get some athletes. Delete the first letter of the second one and you'll get where these athletes compete. What words are these?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Bumper Sticker: J.D. Vance puts his cast iron skillet in the dishwasher. --Al Asran

I hope we stay friends until we die and then I hope we're ghost friends together and we walk through walls together and scare the sh*t out of people. You know, it's only ghosts who actually profit from cryptocurrency.

..........Really I'm sad, oh, I'm sadder than sad..........Smokey Robinson and the Miracles …..Tears of a Clown

^ Most humans have 206 bones although the body has 270 at birth. They claim it's fusion

Almanac: It is Friday, October 25, 2024. The moon went into its last quarter yesterday (10/24) and is in Leo. It is National Mole Day, Chucky -- The Notorious Killer Doll Day, International Artists Day, International Bandanna Day, National Breadsticks Day, National Pasta Day, and Sourest Day.

Among those born on this day were Johann Strauss (1825), Georges Bizet (1838), John Heisman (1869), Pablo Picasso (1881), Richard Byrd (1888), Minnie Pearl (1912), Billy Barty (1924), Marion Ross (1928), Anthony Franciosa (1928), Bobby Knight (1940), Helen Reddy (1941), and Julia Roberts (1967).

On October twenty-fifth Battle of Agincourt was fought (1415), Cassini discovered Iapetus, a moon of Saturn (1671), Peace talks began in Panmunjom (1951), Uganda was admitted to the UN (110th member, 1962), Steinbeck received the Nobel Prize (1962), and the International Red Cross was ousted from South Africa (1986).

Night Sky, 10/25: Venus is in conjunction with orange Antares low in twilight. Venus is 100 times brighter than Antares; look for the tiny orange point 3° to Venus's lower left. Binoculars will help you spot it through the twilight and the thick air near the horizon. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max is wearing a confident driver costume and Ollie is I'm Not Worried At All man.

Next Halloween Tip of the Week: What to do if there is a witch at your door: 1) Invited them in 2) Make tea 3) Plot against the puritans --Submitted by MMS

This Week: Saturday, October 26 – American Frog Day & Mule Day & Howl at the Moon Night

Sunday, October 27 – Black Cat Day & National Civics Day & Visit A Cemetery Day

Night Sky, 10/27: Mars rises at 11:29 pm and should be visible around 12:30 am. If you watch Mars for the rest of the year, you will see Mars and Jupiter moving apart. This is happening because Mars moves faster in its orbit. https://www.slsc.org/night-sky-update-october-19-27-2024/

Monday, October 28 – Champagne Day & National Chocolate Day & Childcare Superhero Day

Tuesday, October 29 – Internet Day & National Cat Day & Snowmobile Day & World Stroke Day

Wednesday, October 30 – Checklist Day & National Candy Corn Day & Mischief Night

Night Sky, 10/30 : Saturn is now past opposition. You can look for the planet rising in the southeast once it is dark. Saturn sets around 3:36 am

Thursday, October 31 – All Hallows Eve & Books For Treats Day & National Magic Day & Samhain & National UNICEF Day & National Doorbell Day & Beggar's Night

There are more dead people than living, and the numbers are increasing. The living are getting rarer. --Eugene Ionesco The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. --Demetri Martin

..........Spins a web, any size, catches thieves just like flies.........Michael Bublé …..Spider-Man Theme

^^ Bobbing for apples was a kind of fortune-telling. By assigning each apple to a suitor, the retrieved apple was the future husband. https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/10/8644201/halloween-history-traditions-women

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How many witches does it take to change a light bulb? ….......................... Into what?

Moonbeam: That's what life is all about; remembering someone and smiling. --Minnie Pearl

Fun Fact of the Week: The full moon brightens the skies once every 19 Halloweens. This year the new moon is on November 1^st, so the moon will be 28 days old on Halloween. By the way, it's in Libra on Halloween and Scorpio when it's new.

Video of the Week: Five Creepy Spiders (a subtraction video, 2:37) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpriiA7pw00

It takes courage to back truth unacceptable to our times. --John Steinbeck

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. --Isaac Asimov On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily as lying down. --Woody Allen

..........Like a streak of light she arrives just in time.........Michael Bublé …..Spiderman Theme Song ~~In 2023 Spiderman was the #1 favorite costume for boys and the #4 favorite for girls.

^^^ Candy corn was marketed as Chicken Feed. It was marketed by Goelitz Candy Co which is now Jelly Belly Candy Co.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A recent Hogwarts study found that wearing a lab coat decreased the chances of being drowned or burned at the stake by 95%.

Game of the Week: End Of The World – place your bets: Earthquake 5% / Meteors 2% / Plague 8% / Human Stupidity 85% The South Dakota Department of Propaganda

Weird Word of the Week: Eldritch: Weird, ghostly, unnatural, frightful, hideous... Found in print since the 1500s. Scottish, related to the word elf https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/eldritch

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: The skulls of your enemies are much more environmentally friendly than plastic cups. Just Sayin'. https://ifunny.co/#google_vignette

When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. --Ayn Rand When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. --Steven Wright

...........Don't you love farce..........Judy Collins …..Send in the Clowns

^^^^ The average bag of treats has 3,500 to 7,000 calories.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They're taking our jobs and bringing drugs into our country. Well, that's convenient because I love drugs and I hate working. --Submitted by MMS

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Georgian Bay FanCon 2024 (26^th, Meaford, ON) Jack-o-Lantern Carving Contest... https://www.gbfancon.ca/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: SmallSat Education Conference (26-27. Kennedy Space Center, FL) Keynote Speaker, Astronaut Ken Reightler, retired. https://www.smallsateducation.org/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Screwdriver ---> Crew + River

There is a strange little woman in Moscow who is quietly but relentlessly stealing the bones of Russian families and dumping them in a giant ravine north of town. People don't take her seriously because they don't understand tsar chasm. You may think that corpses are funny, but they are dead serious.

..........He's the hairy handed gent who ran amok in Kent.........Warren Zevon …..Werewolves of London

^^^^^ Mamie Eisenhower 1958 ~~See Image of the Week above

Grim Fact of the Week: If you put Jokes How I want to die... in Google, they pop right up with a Suicide Hotline. Of course, suicide wasn't what I had in mind at all. What I had in mind was “I want to live to be 90 and then be shot by a jealous wife”. Sigh!

Quote of the Week: The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls. --Pablo Picasso

Last Halloween Tip of the Week: Union Made Halloween Treats: American Licorice, Annabelle Candy Company. Bachman Company, See’s Candies, Brown & Haley, Ghirardelli Chocolate, Boyer Brothers, Hershey Company, Hershey Kisses, Hershey Milk Chocolate Bar, Hershey Milk Chocolate & Almonds Bar, Hershey Special Dark Bars, Hershey Nuggets, Rolo, Kit Kat Bars, Carmello Bar, Jolly Ranchers, Jelly Belly Candy Company, Just Born In, Mike & Ike, Peanut Chews, Hot Tamales, Ferrero Group (Nestle, Farley & Sathers), Laffy Taffy, Baby Ruth, Butterfingers, Russell Stover Candies, Tootsie Roll Industries, and Oak Leaf Confections.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Her 8^th day of placental liberation... ~~I love it

Today's Peace of History, October 25, 1955: Sadako Sasaki, following the Japanese custom of folding paper cranes – symbols of good fortune and longevity – persisted daily in folding cranes, hoping to create senbazuru (1000 paper cranes strung together) when a person's dream is believed to come true, died.

Might I just point out that Mercutio got stabbed in the gut and instead of seeking medical help, stood up and made a pun about it, then died. Exactly how I would go out. --Jeffrey the Space Walrus

..........The whispers and the screams.........Shinedown …..Devil

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, October 25, 2024, sPooky ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I've always felt that, you know, the Almighty had a lot of things to do other than help my basketball team. --Bobby Knight

Cost of War:

• As of 10/24/24 State Department Costs: $248,970,969,494
• As of 10/17/24 State Department Costs: $248,403,542,956
• As of 10/24/24 Homeland Security: $1,182,140,910,690
• As of 10/17/24 Homeland Security: $1,181,524,474,579
• As of 10/24/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,254,505,483,247
• As of 10/17/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,222,205,430,763
• As of 10/24/24 Military Costs: $3,112,180,158,539
• As of 10/17/24 Military Costs: $3,110,976,705,497
• As of 10/24/24 Veterans Care: $3,934,734,141,704
• As of 10/17/24 Veterans Care: $3,922,719,621,761
• As of 10/24/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,732,534,269,942
• As of 10/17/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,716,546,436,575

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good. --John Steinbeck

Famous Last Words: Bless you, thank you. --Bill Graham who died in a helicopter crash 10/25/91 ~~These are his last public words.

..........Rattle them bones at midnight.........Alice Cooper …..Skeletons in My Closet

I saw the little tombstone my children are planning to get for me. I was, actually, hoping for a pyramid. That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, was against her better judgement. --Dorothy Parker

May Peace instruct your body
And Joy train your heart
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh:

sTripped ePistle

 Famous First Words: Well, I, uh, don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up, sir. --George C Scott as General Buck Turgidson in Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

Today is Newspaper Comic Strip Appreciation Day! Lucy to Snoopy: You'll never be a good theologian; you're too dogmatic. + Having lost sight of our objective we redoubled our efforts. --Pogo

..........But he could play a guitar just like a-ringin' a bell.........Chuck Berry …..Johnny B Goode

The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation. --Pierre Trudeau

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sun is shining and the temperature is 57°F. There are no clouds in the azure skies; only bird grace the air. Squirrels are busy even early in the morning. A fine fall day by any standards. Puck has been out explaining to the squirrels about how it wasn't their yard but it didn't slow them down one whit. So he came back in and is taking his early morning nap. A light breeze sways the wind-chimes but they remain silent. Yellow leaves twist downward from the trees assuring the sun can reach the ground when it is cold and we need it the most. A distant train whistle comes closer until the sound of engines roaring catches up to the whistle and it passes away to the east. A lovely, lazy morning and best of all I get to write to you.

Hope your weekend gives you a great big laugh, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Life has no remote, get up and change it yourself. --Submitted by nm of ks

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations. -Calvin (and Hobbes) + Little Orphan Annie stole that money because she wanted to be wanted.

..........You done started back doin' the things you used to do.........Chuck Berry …..Maybelline

Trivia Questions: Today is Persons Day in Canada

• ^ Which person does Persons Day celebrate?
• ^^ Who was the first “new person” appointed to the Canadian Senate?
• ^^^ When did the Canada Royal military create divisions for women?
• ^^^^ Who is Elsie Knott and why is she important to Canadian women?
• ^^^^^ Which “persons” were still excluded by the 1929 ruling?

Big Hello: Namascāra – Oriya (spoken in Odisha aka Orissa, India) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes, tell you how to tie your laces. --Submitted by cf of ks

Image of the Week: Puck's new playpals; Mary up top and Martha below … the monkey was just there.

Library Joke of the Week: A bookmark should be known as a quitter strip. ΞΞ I'm not paying taxes that support libraries so I can access books. I'm paying taxes that support libraries so I can live in a society where everyone has access to books. --Professor Vincent

Sally once called Snoopy “Beagligerent” because he growled at her. + I've reached the age where Happy Hour is a nap. --Dagwood Bumstead

..........Rockin' in two by two...........Chuck Berry …..Roll Over Beethoven

Moonbeam: Mr Clinton better watch out if he comes down here. He'd better have a bodyguard. --Jesse Helms (late senator from North Carolina)~~The threat of violence has been part of the Republican agenda for at least 30 years. (1994)

Front Half of the Joke of the Week: The thing is, Die Hard wasn't a Christmas movie originally. The script was changed by Constantine in 336 AD to align it with the Sol Invictus festival. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Blasphemy of the Week: If religions advocate peace, then why aren't their extremists extremely peaceful? --Submitted by MMS

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Joe Krozel, of Creve Coeur, Mo. Think of a place in America. Two words, 10 letters altogether. The first five letters read the same forward and backward. The last five letters spell something found in the body. What place is this? NPR Sunday Puzzle 10/6/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Throwing a condom on a microphone while reporting live from a hurricane is the most Florida thing I've ever seen. --Submitted by Science Humor

I think my dad is 14. That's as high as I can count. --Jeffy (Family Circus) + Pessimism:+ a pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. --archy (archy and mehitabel)

Well, to be frank, I'd need to change my name.

..........Riding along in my automobile.........Chuck Berry …...No Particular Place To Go

^ On October 18, 1929 the Privy Council of Canada found for women declaring that women were persons under the law.

Almanac: It is Friday, October 18, 2024. The moon was full (Hunters) yesterday (10/17) and is in Taurus. It is Mammography Day, Hard Boiled Guy/Girl Day, National Chocolate Cupcake Day, Meatloaf Appreciation Day, International Legging Day, International Necktie Day, Newspaper Comic Strip Appreciation Day, and World Menopause Day.

Among those born on this day were Heinrich von Kleist (1777), Lotte Lenya (1898), Pierre Trudeau (1919), Jesse Helms (1921), Melina Mercouri (1925), Chuck Berry (1926), George C. Scott (1926), Lee Harvey Oswald (1939), Mike Ditka (1939), Willie Horton (1942), Laura Nyro (1947), and Jean-Claude Van Damme (1958).

On October eighteenth the first US labor organization formed (Boston Shoemakers, 1648), the Treaty of Aix-la-Chapelle, ended the War of Austrian Succession (1748), the Mason Dixon line was agreed upon (1767), the first commercial long-distance phone line opened (1892), the BBC was established (1922), and Circus Circus opened (1968).

Night Sky, 10/18: Epsilon Geminids Meteor Shower. Unfortunately the full moon means lower visibility. https://starwalk.space/en/news/october-meteor-showers#october-18-epsilon-geminids-peak

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Having defeated the Giant King, they ascended his throne.

Fall in love with your problems, maybe they'll leave you too.

This Week: Saturday, October 19 – Accounting Day & Bridge Day & Evaluate Your Life Day

Sunday, October 20 – International Chef's Day & International Day of Air Traffic Controllers & National Day on Writing

Night Sky,10/20: Around mid-evening the bright, gibbous moon will rise in the east with brilliant Jupiter shining a palm's width to its lower right.

Monday, October 21 – Alaska Day & Reptile Awareness Day & National Witch Hazel Day

Night Sky, 10/21: Orionid Meteor Shower: radiance rises before midnight and is highest in the sky around 2 am. https://earthsky.org/clusters-nebulae-galaxies/everything-you-need-to-know-orionid-meteor-shower/

Tuesday, October 22 – INTERNATIONAL CAP LOCKS DAY & Make A Dog's Day & Smart Is Cool Day

Wednesday, October 23 – TV Talk Show Host Day & National Mole Day

The swallows depart from San Juan Capistrano

Thursday, October 24 – Food Day & United Nations Day

Beetle Bailey was so lazy if he got shot, he'd ask for help getting to the ground. + Smilin' Jack was a great adventurer until he flew to Antarctica. That's when things went south.

..........Tell him he can take the freeway down.........Chuck Berry …...Run Rudolph Run

^^ Women were legally recognized as "persons" under the law, allowing them to be appointed to the Senate, which previously excluded them; Cairine Wilson became the first woman to be appointed to the Senate shortly after the ruling.

Secondary Blasphemy of the Week: In the beginning there was nothing. Then God said, “Let there be light”, and there was still nothing, but you could see it. --Submitted by sb of ar

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Got stuck behind a car with the licence number plate: G4ND4LF. Don't know who it was, but he wouldn't let me pass. -Mariana Z

Moonbeam: We must make a journey around the world to see if a back door has perhaps been left open. --Heinrich von Kleist

Fun Fact of the Week: Happy International Necktie Day! Every year Americans spend approximately $1 billion to purchase 100 million neckties.

Video of the Week: Melina Mecouri dancing and singing Never On Sunday

I bear solemn witness to the fact that NATO heads of state and of government meet only to go through the tedious motions of reading speeches, drafted by others, with the principal objective of not rocking the boat. --Pierre Trudeau

My roommate in college was a weird performance artist who outlined all his painting using his penis. I should never have moved in with Dick Tracy. + Accordion t' my ironclad memory, we's gettin' close. --Joel (Gasoline Alley)

..........Walk but you'll never get away..........Laura Nyro …..Eli's Comin'

^^^ 1941: Women’s Divisions were established in the Army Corps and the Royal Canadian Navy.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: He's one cloudless night away from baying at the moon. --Submitted by sd of ks

Back Half of the Joke of the Week: It (Dire Hard) was declared a Christmas Movie at the Council of Nicea. I can't believe I have to get angry about this. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Weird Word of the Week: Rannygazoo – century old term for a deceptive story or scheme, i.e. fake news. http://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-ran2.html

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Lubricate nails and screws. Nails and screws rubbed with ChapStick will go into wood more easily. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/chapstick.html

What are you doing here? --Little Nemo We're BEING here. --Oompy + Procrastination: Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. --archy (archy and mehitabel)

...........Surry on down.........Laura Nyro …..Stone Soul Picnic

^^^^ In 1954 Elsie Knott became the first woman elected chief of a First Nations community

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I bought a bag of dog kibble this week. One of the selling points on the bag is “farm-raised beef”. But they missed it. The very best beef is raised in small pens in the attic.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: OryCon 44 – 2024 (18-20, Portland, OR) Oregon's oldest literary and creative convention https://orycontemp.tezhme.net/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 2024 Conference on Digital Experimentation @ MIT (18-19, Cambridge, MA) ...capability to rapidly deploy and iterate micro-level, in-vivo, randomized experiments in complex social and economic settings... https://ide.mit.edu/events/code24/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: New England (newen and gland)

Beetle Bailey was so lazy when he dropped something he waited until he needed to untie his shoe to pick it up. (Mort Walker, Beetle Bailey) + You're just sore because Brenda got the O'Shea story while you were sitting on your claws. --Pesky Miller, cub reporter (Brenda Starr)

..........a little magic, a little kindness..........Laura Nyro …..Sweet Blindness

^^^^^ All women in Canada were granted the right to vote in federal elections. Until the Canada Elections Act was enacted in 1960, First Nations women could not vote unless they had lost or given up their treaty rights and Indian status.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: The Enemies List will keep you howling and his enemies scowling. From Noam Chomsky to Yoko Ono, from Peter, Paul, and Mary … ~~Mary Travers died in 2009. Peter and Paul are still alive https://groveatlantic.com/book/the-enemies-list/

Quote of the Week: If you believe what you read in the comic strips, then you believe that mice run around with little gold buttons on their red pants and drive cars. --Mort Walker (Beetle Bailey and Hi & Lois)

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Your ancestors didn't sustain millina of complex oral story traditions for you to call audiobooks cheating. --bookish.bailee --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

If you are having second thoughts you 're two ahead of most people.

Today's Peace of History, October 18, 1648: The Shoemakers Guild of Boston became the first labor union in the American colonies.

Don't take life so serious. It ain't nohow permanent. --Pogo + When Terry finally caught the pirate, she had a paper towel fashioned as a tricorn pirate's cap. When Terry mocked her for it, she replied, “I've had a bounty on my head for quite a while now.” (Terry and the Pirates)

..........My lover's mouth been so good to me..........Laura Nyro …..Woman's Blues

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, 2024, sTripped ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Success isn't permanent and failure isn't fatal. --Mike Ditka

Cost of War:

• As of 10/17/24 State Department Costs: $248,403,542,956
• As of 10/10/24 State Department Costs: $247,840,494,552
• As of 10/17/24 Homeland Security: $1,181,524,474,579
• As of 10/10/24 Homeland Security: $1,180,913,044,667
• As of 10/17/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,262,920,430,447
• As of 10/10/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,251,348,012,206
• As of 10/17/24 Military Costs: $3,110,976,705,497
• As of 10/10/24 Military Costs: $3,109,782,907,489
• As of 10/17/24 Veterans Care: $3,922,719,621,761
• As of 10/10/24 Veterans Care: $3,910,801,318,274
• As of 10/17/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,716,546,436,575
• As of 10/10/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,700,688,615,498

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The attainment of a just society is the cherished hope of civilized men. --Pierre Trudeau

Famous Last Words: Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you keep it a secret. --George C Scott as General Buck Turgidson's final line in Dr Strangelove

..........Mother of the wind boys livin' off the lovewell..........Laura Nyro …..Lu

We have met the enemy and he is us. --Pogo + It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy...Let's go exploring. --Calvin

May Peace warm your emotions
And Joy warm your action
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: The Tale of Norton the Dragon, a strip by David Morris from the 1980s.