Famous First Words: This is the place! --Brigham Young ~Legend says when Brigham and the 148 pioneers with him, got halfway down that Emigration Canyon, he said “this is the place” and that's why the Mormons stayed in Salt Lake. There's a park with a monument and there is or was a wonderful roadhouse (rare in Utah) with a picture of the proprietor standing by the Wrens that were outside the Wren Building in downtown Lawrence, KS. ~~Utah takes a holiday every 24th of July (Pioneer Day) with a biiiiiigggggg parade. (biiiiiigggggg is defined as every high school band in the state and everybody who can ride a horse.)
It's Air Conditioning Appreciation Days (7/3-8/15). Good timing! It's so hot that when the temperature dropped to 95°, I put on a jacket /\ It's so hot I saw a funeral procession pull through Dairy Queen. \/ It's so hot my dream house is at the South Pole.
..........Nothing to say, but what a day..........Beatles …..Good Morning, Good Morning
Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel. --Bella Abzug
It is a rainy Friday morning. The sky is gray and dark. There is no breeze. Tree leaves only move when drops of water hit them. Dropping water splashes in tiny puddles on the patio; they plunk against the patio table and plink against the metal water bowl; and they clink against the chimney. h I hear it as I sit at my desk drinking my decaf. Birds and squirrels and the baby rabbit are staying home, waiting for the shower to lift before they sing or squeal or eat sunflower seeds and peanuts. The rain is welcome. In the night I was aware of thunder and lightning. Neither the dog nor the cat were bothered by it. I simply fell back to sleep. But the world is cool (68°F), it is wet, and it provides a soundtrack for the morning. Writing to you makes it even better.
Hope your weekend is super cool, on a lot of levels, snowbirds.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Which amendment protects us from the Supreme Court? --Burns https://www.facebook.com/christopher.monley.7
First Funniest Thing I Remembered of the Week: When it gets too hot for comfort and you can't get ice cream cones, it ain't no sin to take off your skin and dance around in your bones. --Song my mother used to sing sung here by Fred Hall, 1930
It's so hot the squirrels eating sunflower seeds on my back patio are wearing crocs. \/ It's so hot in DC, they installed a fan in the debt ceiling. /\ It's so hot the asphalt on I-35 turned to liquid and ran down to Oklahoma. \/ It's so hot my chicken laid an omelet.
..........I need somebody to love..........Beatles …..With A Little Help From My Friends
Trivia Questions: Happy National Drive-Thru Day!
When or where did the first drive-thru in the US open?
What percentage of drive-thru revenue comes from “fast food”?
How did drive-thru change the menus of drive-ins?
What new automobile accessory was fueled by drive-thru restaurants?
How many drive-thrus are there in the US?
Big Hello: Ajaa – Wayuu (...an Arawakan language spoken in Venezuela & Colombia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Intergalactic News: Earth is still trying to unlock the achievement “Basic Common Sense”. --Submitted by Club42
Image of the Week:
It's so hot I've started putting crushed ice in my waterbed. \/ It's so hot, Wyandotte County Lake shipped their fish to Seattle lest they forget how to swim. /\ It's so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice packs.
..........Give me a wink and make me think of you..........Beatles …..Lovely Rita
Moonbeam: History, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools. --Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary
Blasphemy of the Week: Unicorns are mentioned 9 times in the bible. Cats are mentioned 0 times. That's all I need to know about the bible. https://www.facebook.com/blasphemememes
Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Bob's Burgers Burger Of The Day: Release the Epstein Files – Served cold and with ketchup on the walls. --realusapatriot.bsky.social
Coffee Joke of the Week: I am NOT emotionally equipped to fight the dark side without caffeine. https://www.facebook.com/maythecoffeebewithyou
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Be like all your friends, express your individuality. --Wiley Miles Non Sequitur 7/21/26 ~~Doubling as Oxymoronic Ad of the Week:
It's so hot, Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner. /\ It's so hot I saw a guy with a sign that said, “Will Work For Shade”. \/ It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buying an air conditioner.
..........Where I belong I'm right..........Beatles …..Fixing The Hole
1) According to most accounts, the first drive-thru restaurant was opened 7/24/1947. Red’s Giant Hamburg (the sign couldn’t fit the entire word “hamburger”) was in Springfield, MO, on the fabled Route 66
Almanac: It is Friday, July 24, 2026. The moon will be full (Buck) on Tuesday (7/28) and is in Sagittarius. Today is Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Pioneer Day, Cousins Day, International Self Care Day, National Drive-Thru Day, National Frozen Margarita Day, National Tequila Day, National Thermal Engineers Day aka the hottest day of the year, and Tell An Old Joke Day. Because it is the last full weekend it is Lumberjack Days.
Among those born on this day were Simon Bolivar (1783), Alexandre Dumas, pere (1802), Ambrose Bierce (1842), Alice Ball (1892), Robert Graves (1895), Amelia Earhart (1897), Zelda Fitzgerald (1900), Kenneth B. Clark (1914), John D. MacDonald (1916), Bella Abzug (1920), William D. Ruckelshaus (1932), Ruth Buzzi (1936), Chris Sarandon (1942), Michael Richards (1949), Lynda Carter (1951). Claire McCaskill (1953), and Karl Malone aka The Mailman (1963),
On July twenty-fourth The French first settled in "Detroit" (1701). The Mormons settled in Salt Lake City (1847). The rotary printing press was patented (1847). Tennessee was readmitted to the Union (1866). US troops were first used against strikers (1877). Hoover proclaimed the Kellogg-Briand Pact which renounced war (1929). Nixon & Khrushchev held the Kitchen Debate (1959). Apollo 11 returned to earth (1969). Nixon's tapes were liberated by the Supreme Court (1974). Sgt Pepper's Lonely ... Band movie debuted (1978). George Brett's pine tar incident (1983). MS Magazine returned (1990).
Night Sky, 7/24: Moon – 77.3% illumination. Visible from late afternoon through the morning. Constellation currently dominating the skies is the Summer Triangle with Vega, Altair, & Deneb as the brightest stars.
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Abuela Kirsten, Ollie, Mom Aleena, Max, and a camper to be named later.
This Week: Saturday, July 25 – Carousel Day aka Merry-Go-Round Day & Hire A Veteran Day & Red Shoe Day
Sunday, July 26 – National Body Painting Day & National Parents Day & One Voice
Night Sky, 7/26: In the south Scorpius & Sagittarius. Sagittarius is pointing directly to the center of the Milky Way.
Monday, July 27 – Love Is Kind Day & Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day & Walk On Stilts Day
Tuesday, July 28 – Buffalo Soldiers Day & National Waterpark Day & National Milk Chocolate Day
Night Sky, 7/28: Sunrise: 6:15 am Sunset: 8:34 pm (14 hours and 22 minutes of daylight) Moonset: 89:28 am Moonrise: 5:51 pm
Wednesday, July 29 – Global Tiger Day & Lasagna Day & National Lipstick Day & Rain Day
Night Sky, 7/29: Full moon (Buck) in Aquarius.
Thursday, July 30 – Friendship Day aka International Day of Friendship & National Share A Hug Day
It's so hot Mormon missionaries have started telemarketing. /\ It's so hot both water taps run hot. \/ It's so hot our Independence Day fireworks lit themselves.
..........Will you still need me, will you still feed me..........Beatles …..When I'm 64
2) It’s easy to see why people prefer to use the drive-thru lane for fast food — it’s fast and convenient. It’s also easy to see why so many fast-food restaurants make room for the drive-thru lane — it generates a whopping 70% – 80% of their business.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Catcher to Pitcher: Throw him a fastball so he hits a walk-off homerun, they win the World Series, and we don't have to go to the White House.
Moonbeam: Once, adj. Enough. --Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary
Old Joke of the Week: Happy Old Joke Day! A Kymaean is swimming in the sea when it starts to rain – so he dives underwater to avoid getting wet. --Philogelos Joke #164 The Philogelos, typically translated as “the joker” or “the one who loves laughs”, is an ancient Greek collection of 265 jokes
Video of the Week: Ruth Buzzi and the Smothers Brothers on Laugh-In (:19)
We are bringing women into politics to change the nature of politics, to change the vision, to change the institutions. Women are not wedded to the policies of the past. We didn't craft them. They didn't let us. --Bella Abzug
It's so hot Kansas dairy farmers say cows are giving evaporated milk. \/ It's so hot Siri asked to be dipped in a glass of ice water. /\ It's so hot my artificial flower wilted.
..........Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers..........Beatles …..Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
3) Before Red’s Giant Hamburg, drive-in restaurants and diners offered a wider variety of menu offerings in addition to burgers. However, once chains like Jack-in-the-Box and In-and-Out Burger started serving directly to driver’s side windows, some changes had to be made. Soups, chili, and pie a la mode were out, and finger foods like fries and chicken strips took their place.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We put all our politicians in prison as soon as they're elected...” “Why?” “It saves time.” --Terry Pratchett The Last Continent
Weird Word of the Week: Selcouth: describes something that is unfamiliar, strange, and yet marvelous at the same time.
Dragon of the Week:
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove a stubborn hubcap. Take a bottle or can of Coca-Cola, uncap it or pop it open, shake it up while holding your thumb over the opening, and then spray the Coca-Cola around the hubcap. Let it sit for a few minutes to let the Real Thing soften any grease and grime, and then remove the hubcap with ease. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html
It's so hot Kansas thought they had fire ants, but they were actual ants who were actually on fire. /\ It's so hot the new thermometers have new levels above 120°: -Are You Kidding Me? -Seriously? -Move North! \/ It's so hot I invited my ex to dinner just to be around someone shady.
...........A splendid time is guaranteed for all..........Beatles …..Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite
4) As a result of the drive-thru and eating in the car or on-the-go, you could understand why people needed a place to put down their drinks when they were eating in their car. Hence the introduction of the cup holder.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Tate Brothers Vehemently Deny They Did Anything Consensual. --the Onion @theonion.com
Spark Of Joy of the Week: I also treat my body like a temple; an ancient structure in desperate need of repair, long ignored and of rapidly decreasing significance to a largely indifferent society. --Asher The New Yorker
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Diversicon 33 (24-26, Plymouth, MN) Past to the future. https://diversicon33.mnstf.org/
Whatever This Is of the Week: Kebena Ethiopian Restaurant opens at 11:00 AM on Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Thursday. Kebena Ethiopian Restaurant opens at 12:00 PM on Sunday. ~~As a previous technical writer I wanted to share this with you. --Submitted by ky of wa
My first advice to tech writers has ALWAYS been Never Translate (instructions from another language). Work the software and Write It From Scratch. But I don't think that's the problem here.
It's so hot I had two hobbits throw a ring off my roof into my yard. \/ It's so hot the Miami Beach beach is now glass. /\ It's so hot I have to use a spatula to get my clothes off.
..........But they're guaranteed to raise a smile..........Beatles …..Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
5) It is estimated that 200,000 to 220,000 drive-thru restaurants are operating in the United States.
Protest Sign of the Week: So Is The Ballroom For Storing GOP Testicles? --from Seattle area perhaps on the Bremerton Bridge.
Better Protest Sign of the Week: I'm Hoping SATAN Runs in 2028 And Splits The Republican Vote. --Elayne Boosler
Quote of the Week: The way of peace is the way of love. Love is the greatest power on earth. It conquers all things. --Peace Pilgrim (born 8/18/1908)
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Do you know why we can fly a helicopter on Mars but we can't keep the lights on in Texas. Because scientists are in charge of Mars. Republicans are in charge of Texas. @jan199.bsky.social
Today's Peace of History: July 24, 1974: The United States Supreme Court (U.S. v. Nixon) unanimously ordered President Richard Nixon to surrender tape recordings of White House conversations regarding the Watergate affair. Speaking for the Supreme Court in front of a packed and hushed courtroom, Chief Justice Warren E. Burger (a Nixon appointee) rejected President Nixon's claims of executive privilege (virtually total confidentiality for the White House) because the need for fair administration of criminal justice must prevail.
It's so hot I saw a heatwave and waved back. /\ It's so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time. \/ It's so hot everybody's sweating like a politician on election day.
..........Me hiding my head in the sand..........Beatles …..Getting Better
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, July 24, 2026: A Conditioned ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.
Moonbeam: Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding. --Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary
Cost of War: Pentagon Spending as of 7/23/26: $825,302,261,875.
That's Nineteen billion, four hundred and ninety-two million, seven hundred and forty-three thousand, seven hundred and seven dollars this week.
Pentagon Spending as of 7/16/26: $805,809,518,168
Pentagon Spending as of 7/9/26: $785,113,033,122
Pentagon Spending as of 7/2/26: $766,664,729,346
The beauty of peace is in trying to find solutions together.— Dekha Ibrahim Abdi
Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422
Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719
Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
The establishment is made up of little men, very frightened. --Bella Abzug
Famous Last Words: ...blessed is the fruit of your womb. --Angelus Prayer spoken by St John Boste at his beheading in 1594, England
..........Try to realise it all within yourself..........Beatles …..Within You And Without You
It's so hot the zoo is reporting that water buffalo are evaporating. \/ It's so hot my campfire lit itself. /\ It's so hot they've relabeled all the Tabasco sauce “mild”.
May Peace cool your body
And Joy warm your soul
prairie mama
christine
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