Papa's ePistle

Famous First Words: I am a poet. ----Charles Bukowski from the movie Bukowski released 7/19/72

Dad Jokes for Father's Day! A well-balanced horse is stable. // What do you call angry carrots? Steamed veggies. \\ Triangles think circles are pointless.

..........When the enslaved found out they were free.........Gracie's Corner …..Juneteenth Song

I'm not a prophet, but I always thought it was natural for dictatorships to fall. I remember in 1989, two month before the fall of the Berlin Wall, had you said it was going to happen no one would have believed you. The system seemed powerful and unbreakable. Suddenly overnight it blew away like dust. --Salman Rushdie

It is a beautiful Friday morning. 62°F is neither too warm nor too cold and 1 mph eastern wind is just enough to make every little leaf move just enough to make the whole yard look like it's alive and rejoicing in a fresh new day. 5 squirrels and a bunny rabbit are flitting about the patio eating sunflower seeds and peanuts. At least until the neighbor dogs come out for their morning business. All the wildlife runs even though the dogs are silent and a fence keeps them separated. Puck was out earlier and has returned to sleep under my desk with his little snorts and wheezes. The sky is a clear, pale blue without a cloud or a jet trail. Sunlight streams over the roof casting strange shadows on the patio and the storage shed. Silence reigns; neither birdsong nor car motors fill the air. What a gorgeous day! I finally sit at my desk with my freshly brewed cup of unleaded coffee and the joyous anticipation of writing to you. Sheer existence is such a gas.

Hope your weekend takes the cake, fearless reader

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In what is being hailed as a landmark deal, on Saturday the Islamic republic of Iran agreed to cease all hostilities with the US in exchange for never having to talk to Vice President JD Vance again. --Andy Borowitz

I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know which comes first. \\ Where was King David's temple located? Beside his ear. // World Cup Joke: You can light up a soccer stadium with a soccer match.

..........Yours in a quest that's just begun.........Nina Simone …..Young, Gifted and Black

Trivia Questions: It's World Sauntering Day

1. What is sauntering?

2. Where does the word and/or the idea come from?

3. Which naturalist popularized sauntering as a spiritual activity?

4. Which American outdoorsman-author has a sauntering society named after him?

5. What do you know about World Sauntering Day?

Big Hello: Tervhen - Veps (Finnic language spoken in Karelia & the Vologda Oblast in the Russian Federation) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I want someone to look at me and say, “That's her. She's the one.” and not follow it with “who ate all the doughnuts”. --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: Squirrels and walker chair with peanuts ~~This week we had a baby cardinal – very red and very small and very cute. I'll try to get a picture.

Reader Response of the Week: Last week's Mechanized ePistle had a joke about tuning forks for a flat tire: My 1960 Austin Healey had wire wheels and came with a tuning fork to adjust each spoke There were 60 spokes per wheel and the spokes were supposed to be tuned annually or every 3000 miles, whichever came first I was (and am) tone deaf so that never happened. --vr of 66

I heard that sprinters don't eat before a race. They fast. // What's Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1 \\ A fascist walked into a bar...And ordered everyone a round.

..........Brother, we can't quit until we get our share.........James Brown …..Say It Loud – I'm Black and I'm Proud

Moonbeam: Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash we have very little reason to be interested in them. --Pauline Kael

Blasphemy of the Week: New evidence suggests that Cain's rejected offering was Kale. --Richard Davis --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

Coffee Joke of the Week: My morning coffee is less of a drink and more of a tiny warm exorcism. https://www.facebook.com/maythecoffeebewithyou

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation... --Submitted by Club42

My pig has earned a black belt in karate. He even invented a new move, the pork chop. \\ What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick // Frogs must have way more lives than cats. They croak everyday.

..........Do you hear me, do you feel me?.........Kenrick Lamar …..Alright

1) Sauntering is a slow, relaxed, maybe even aimless style of walking meant to reduce stress and help you appreciate the present moment.

Almanac: It is Friday, June 19^th. The moon will enter its first quarter on Sunday (6/21) and is in Leo. The UN has declared this International Day For The Elimination of Sexual Violence in Conflict. It is also Free BSD Day, Garfield the Cat Day, Juneteenth, National Watch Day, Wear Blue For Men's Health Day, Work@Home Father's Day, World Sickle Cell Awareness Day, and World Sauntering Day. Because it is Father's Day weekend it is Dollars Against Diabetes Days (19-21).

Among those born on this day were James VI (Scotland) aka James I (England) 1556, Elbert Hubbard 1856, Mrs Simpson aka Duchess of Windsor 1896, Moe Howard 1897, Guy Lombardo 1902, Lou Gehrig 1903, Lester Flatt 1914, Louis Jourdan 1919, Pauline Kael 1919, Neals Bohr 1922, Gena Rowlands 1936, Spanky McFarlane 1942, Malcolm McDowell 1943, Salman Rushdie 1947, Phylicia Rashad 1948, Ann Wilson 1950, Kathleen Turner 1954, Paula Abdul 1962, Boris Johnson 1964, Garfield the Cat 1978, and Zoe Saldaña 1978.

On June nineteenth Eratosthenes estimated the circumference of Earth (240 BCE), slavery finally came to an end in Texas (1865), the first Belmont Stakes was run (Ruthless won) (1867), Father's Day was first celebrated (1910), the first photoelectric cell was installed (CT) (1931), the Federal Communications Commission was created (1934), Kuwait won independence from Britain (1961),

the Supreme Court struck down a MD provision that required state office holders to believe in God (1961), and Valentina Tereshkova returned to Earth (1963).

Night Sky, 6/19 : The crescent moon will pass just below Regulus, the brightest star in Leo.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: It's No Hands Ollie and the Birdman Max

This Week: Saturday, June 20 – American Eagle Day & International Surfing Day & Flitch of Bacon Day

Sunday, June 21 – Make Music Day & International Day of Yoga & Midsummer

Night Sky, 6/21: Summer Solstice: The astronomical beginning of summer. Between 9 pm - midnight CDT (late evening of June 21 into early June 22), the contrasting shadows along the lunar terminator create a striking 'X' and 'V' shape, offering excellent telescope viewing of the moon's craters. https://urbanastrophotography.com/the-moon-lunar-x-and-lunar-v/

Monday, June 22 – World Rainforest Day & International Day of Radiant Peace & International Being You Day

Tuesday, June 23 – International Women In Engineering Day & Pink Flamingo Day

Night Sky, 6/23: Mars and Venus are visible before sunrise. Jupiter and Saturn are visible after sunset.

Wednesday, June 24 – Celebration of the Senses & International Fairy Day & World UFO Day

Thursday, June 25 – Global Beatles Day & Global Smurfs Day & National Day of Joy

Night Sky, 6/25: Sunrise: 5:55 am Sunset: 8:48 pm 14 hours and 53 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 7:11 pm Moonset: 9:18 am

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “Any idea how to drive this thing?” // What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry \\ If seagulls fly over the sea and up the bay do they become baygulls?

..........Get up everybody, and sing.........Sister Sledge …..We Are Family

2) In the 1400s sauntering meant “to daydream” (Middle English santren – to muse or be in reverie) which became “wander in thought”. By the 1600s it became associated with physical strolling.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Happy Pride Month to Home Depot for not selling a single piece of straight wood. https://www.facebook.com/janisianpage

Moonbeam: I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis. --Boris Johnson

Fun Fact of the Week: The fact that Ewan McGregor's brother, Colin McGregor is a pilot in the Royal Air Force and his aviator nickname is “Obi-Two” is my new favorite bit of knowledge. --Jonna R Bartges --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Second Blasphemy of the Week: Scholars now believe that the Angel who saved Daniel distracted the lions with a laser pointer. https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee

Video of the Week: Data Centers are Too Damn Big –Piedmont Raging Grannies (1:54) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou6NTHhkbsU

What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist. --Salman Rushdie

Proper clouds wear thunder pants under their billows. \\ How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles // Spies what you think they do: wear disguises and go on important missions. What they really do: only go undercover when it's cold.

..........Shine already, it's time..........Beyonce …..Already

3) Naturalist John Muir popularized the term. It allegedly originates from Middle Ages pilgrims walking to the Holy Land. When villagers asked where they were going, they’d reply, "A la sainte terre"—becoming known as "sainte-terre-ers

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Life is too short to learn German. --Richard Pörsön --Submitted by LanguageNerds

Weird Word of the Week: Vernalagnia: A romantic mood brought on by spring.

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Soothe a jellyfish sting. Pouring the Real Thing over a jellyfish sting relieves the stinging pain. The acids in the Coke seem to neutralize the venom, according to the Medical Journal of Australia. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola2.html

That mushroom gest invited to the best parties because he are such fungi. // What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt. \\ How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.

...........If you think we live in the land of the free..........Mickey Guyton …..Black Like Me

4) The Thoreau Sauntering Society: Based at the Thoreau Farm in Massachusetts, this group organizes regular, slow-paced biology and nature saunters through the woods.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If “womb” is pronounced “woom” and “tomb is pronounced “toom” shouldn't “bomb” be pronounced “boom” --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: ConGregate 12 (17-19, Greensboro, NC) A convention by nerds for nerds. https://www.con-gregate.com/

Protest Song of the Week: Join ICE ...If you're in need of a gig that'll make you feel big, come with me and put some folks in detention... Jesse Welles https://open.spotify.com/track/1fbroxuhGToryOiWiZSkoK

Spark of Joy of the Week: Just learned that orcas are the only other mammals that experience menopause. Trashing some dude's yacht makes a lot more sense now. https://www.facebook.com/NationalNOW

Athletes get athlete's foot but elves get mistle-toe. // Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to go spreading it. \\ The janitor at our school is crazy. She likes to jump out of the closet and yell, “Supplies! Supplies!”

..........Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.........Tupac …..Keep Ya Head Up

5) World Sauntering Day: Created in 1979 by publicist W.T. Rabe, this annual event on June 19th was designed as an upbeat rebellion against the 1970s jogging,

Protest Sign of the Week: I'm Not Tarriff-ied. I'm In-Führür-iated.

Quote of the Week: We're less and less willing to pay for the things that make civilization possible. And yet, we imagine somehow that civilization will continue. --Octavia Butler

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Last time the Knicks won the championship the president resigned in disgrace shortly after. Here 's hoping history repeats itself. https://www.facebook.com/noticenewsofficial

Today's Peace of History: August 3, 1981: Nearly 13,000 of the nation’s 17,500 air traffic controllers, members of the Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization (PATCO), went on strike.

The belt went to jail for holding up a pair of pants. \\ Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot. // The golfer always brought two pairs of pants in case he got a hole-in-one.

..........We all must be given the liberty that we defend..........Stevie Wonder …..Black Man

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, June 19, 2026: Papa's ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I think my mission is to become the greatest human I can. I know that sounds pompous, but what else do we have? --Kathleen Turner

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 6/18/26: $727,487,814,751 That's 19 billion, 668 million, 506 thousand, 4 hundred and 83 dollars spent this week by the pentagon. A billion more than last week.

Pentagon Spending as of 6/11/26: $707,819,308,268

Pentagon Spending as of 6/04/26: $689,074,081,940

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Measles Cases in the US: As of 6/16/26 there are 2073 confirmed measles cases in the US.

May 2026: 1,842 confirmed cases (231 new cases)

April 2026: 1,748 confirmed cases. (94 new cases)

March 2026: 1,362 confirmed cases. (386 new cases)

~~In the entire year 2010 there were only 63 confirmed cases.

https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html

I hate admitting that my enemies have a point. --Salman Rushdie

Famous Last Words: I wanna go to the late night, double feature, picture show. --Usherette/Magenta Rocky Horror Show which premiered 6/19/73

..........Ring with the harmonies of Liberty.........Alicia Keys …..Lift Every Voice And Sing aka The Black National Anthem

The two cats ended their fight; they hissed and made up. // How do rabbits travel? Hareplanes \\ I don't know her name, the hippie just called his wife Mississippi.

May Peace draw your days

And Joy paint your night

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Mutt and Jeff explain Trump's failure in Iran --Submitted by lh of ks

Mechanized ePistle

 Famous First Words: For a Labor Party: ...a statement by the Workers Party of America 1922 https://www.marxists.org/history/usa/eam/flp/farmerlaborparty.html

Happy National Mechanic's Day! Mechanic: When were your tires last rotated? --On the way home, silly. ĦĦ To be a good mechanic you need really fine motor skills.

..........Don't see the time flashin' by.........Linda Ronstadt …..Tumblin' Dice ~~All of today's songs and/or artists performed at the Freeze Nuclear Weapons Rally in Central Park (NYC) on June 12, 1982. The list of artists is incredible and I only have 10 in the ePistle.

Undoubtedly, the right of suffrage is a fundamental matter in a free and democratic society. Especially since the right to exercise the franchise in a free and unimpaired manner is preservative of other basic civil and political rights, any alleged infringement of the right of citizens to vote must be carefully and meticulously. --Justice Earl Warren

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sun is shining and the sky is blue. I have been to my doctor appointment and had very good numbers and had lost a few more pounds. So I bought myself a rare brownie/cookie on the way home and I've sat down to write to you. What a lovely day so far.

Hope your weekend runs smoothly, gentle readers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Although Jesus was known as a Carpenter, he never actually sang on any of their albums. --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

The mechanic asked the librarian for a book on repairing automatic gearboxes, but she only had manuals. ĦĦ When I asked the mechanic why my car was humming she suggested it didn't know the words.

..........Imagine all the people living life in peace.........Joan Baez …..Imagine

Trivia Questions: Happy National Jerky Day!

1. How long has jerky been around?

2. Why is jerky such a favorite with astronauts?

3. Where does the name “jerky” come from, anyway?

4. How much raw meat does it take to make an ounce of jerky?

5. Who thought up Jerky Day?

Big Hello: Ciao - Venetian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm not procrastinating. I'm recalibrating the trajectory of my timeline. --Submitted by Club42

Image of the Week: One of my 3 hollyhock plants that survived the hard freeze after an early spring. This week it was destroyed by straight line winds.

All You Fascists of the Week: From the Piedmont Raging Grannies: All You Fascists Bound To Lose

A guy walked into the garage and said, “I'd like a gas cap for my KIA.” The mechanic thought for a moment and said, “Yeah, that's a fair trade.” ĦĦ My local garage put in a giant aquarium, right out in the garage. When I asked about it, the mechanic said, “Yep, we've got tunerfish.

..........Lookin' out at the road rushin' under my wheels.........Jackson Browne & Bruce Springsteen …..Running On Empty

Moonbeam: Let us enjoy the beautiful things we can see, my dear, and not think about those we cannot. --Johanna Spyri

Blasphemy of the Week: Satan! Because without a scapegoat you might have to take personal responsibility for your own actions. https://www.facebook.com/groups/469333204536042/

Coffee Joke of the Week: I don't want a coffee that “hints of cherry and cocoa.” I want a coffee that walks into my brain, flips a table over, and says, “Get up. We have responsibilities.” https://www.facebook.com/maythecoffeebewithyou

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The “narcoleptic Narcissist” is such a funny chap... Unless his ass is being kissed, he simply takes a nap.https://www.facebook.com/groups/1172103474568542/

Overall, I like the new uniforms for the garage. ĦĦ I watched a mechanic fixing the tailpipe of a rusty old car. It looked exhausting.

..........To brighten up even your darkest night.........James Taylor …..You've Got A Friend

1) Ancient cultures discovered that they could make meat last longer by drying and salting it, which made it much easier to store it for future consumption. The first known instances of drying meat into jerky have been traced back to the Incas in the 1500s, but it is assumed that jerky may date as far back as Ancient Egypt.

Almanac: It is Friday, June 12, 2026. Today is Crowded Nest Awareness Day, International Cachaça Day, International Falafel Day, Loving Day, Mechanics Day aka National Automotive Service, Professionals Day, National Jerky Day, National Peanut Butter Cookie Day, Superman Day, Women Veterans Recognition Day, and World Day Against Child Labor. Because it is the second Friday it is also National Movie Night. And because it is the first weekend it is Poultry Days.

Among those born on this day were Cosmos de Medici (1519), Johanna Spyri (1829), David Rockefeller (1915), George H W Bush (1924), Vic Damone (1928), Anne Frank (1929), Jim Nabors (1932), Dave Nelson (1943), and Barry Bailey (1948).

On June twelfth New Amsterdam was renamed New York (1665), the Territory of Iowa was organized 1838), the first baseball game was played (1839), the gas mask was patented (1849), the Comstock Silver lode was discovered (1959), Niagara Falls, Onatrio was incorporated (1903), Secret Service extended its protection to include the president's family (1917), the Farmer Labor Party organized (1920), the Baseball Hall of Fame opened (1939), SCOTUS ended laws against interracial marriages (1967), and 750,000 anti-nuclear demonstrators ralled in Central Park (1982).

Night Sky, 6/12: Mini planetary lineup: 30-60 minutes after sunset in the west northwestern sky: Venus – brightest of the trio Plus Jupiter - slightly above and to the left of Venus Plus Mercury – Visible just below Venus (may need binoculars for Mercury).

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Pirates of Bremerton

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Strait of Hormuz is being renamed the Strait of Schrödinger because it is both open and closed at the same time. --Andri Ana

This Week: Saturday, June 13 – Dragon Fly Day & National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day & Random Acts of Light

Sunday, June 14 – Flag Day & Children's Sunday & Race Unity Day & Family History Day

Night Sky, 6/14: The moon is nearly new and dark so Milky Way watching is at its best. The Moon passes Jupiter by less than 2°.

Monday, June 15 – Native American Citizenship Day & National Lobster Day & Worldwide Day of Giving

Tuesday, June 16 – Bloomsday & Fudge Day & World Sea Turtle Day

Wednesday, June 17 – World Crocodile Day & Islamic New Year & World Tessellation Day

Night Sky, 6/17: Sunrise: 5:26 am Sunset: 8:40 pm 14 Hours and 48 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 12:18 am Moonset: 12:25 pm

Thursday, June 18 – Autistic Pride Day & Clark Kent's Birthday & World Tapas Day

Did you hear about the mechanic who had to push her car five miles on its hubcaps? She was tireless. ĦĦ I just finished reading a novel about aircraft mechanics. It was mostly riveting.

..........May the winds of change caress us.........Holly Near …..I Am Willing

2) Astronauts need food that is lightweight yet nutritionally dense, and that food needs to be able to be stored in zero gravity for years while taking up as little space as possible. Jerky fits the bill because it is full of nutrients like protein and iron and can be stored for a very long time. That’s why NASA began sending astronauts into space with beef jerky in 1996.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why are less and less people using fewer? --Submitted by LanguageNerds

Moonbeam: Golllly! --Jim Nabors aka Gomer Pyle

Fun Fact of the Week: Happy International Falafel Day! The first instance of frying dough made from dried beans was recorded as a meal in Medieval Egypt, where it was enjoyed by Copts, a Christian ethnic group who at times rejected meat and adhered to a vegan diet.

Video of the Week: Opening sequence Superman (tv show in the 1950s with George Reeves) (:58)

Wesberry v. Sanders, (1964): "No right is more precious in a free country than that of having a voice in the election of those who make the laws under which, as good citizens, we must live. Other rights, even the most basic, are illusory if the right to vote is undermined --Justice Hugo Black

I ran into my mechanic at the pub and we got to chatting. I asked him if he enjoyed being a mechanic. He said, “Yes and no. Sometimes at the end of the day I feel like I've been through the engine.” ĦĦ A jumper cable goes into a bar...and the bartender says, “I'll serve you, but don't start anything.”

..........I'll pass as your comrade and we march along.........Peter, Paul & Mary …..The Cruel War

3) As we mentioned before, the first known records of jerky were traced back to the Incas in South America. These tribes spoke the language Quechua, and their name for dried, salted meat was ch’arki, which literally meant “dried meat” or “burned meat.” When the Spanish colonizers arrived, they discovered the native dish and adopted the name, which then evolved into charqui. As the delicious and convenient meal became more popular among Europeans, the name eventually evolved into jerky.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There's a thin line between “I should post that to Facebook” and “I should talk to a therapist about that.”

Weird Word of the Week: Nubivagant: wandering in the clouds, often used to describe a dreamer or someone lost in thought. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/nubivagant

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean grease and grime off car engine parts. Soak the parts in Coca-cola for 30 minutes and then rinse clean. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola2.html

If you cross a Chrysler and a Fiat you get a big car that doesn't start. ĦĦ They made an Oscar winning film about mechanics and called it Lord of the Springs.

...........I've been pushed and I've been knocked down.........Gary US Bonds …..Hold On

4) It takes about 2.5 to 3.5 ounces of meat to make 1 ounce of finished jerky. Raw meat is 70-75% water. So a pound of meat makes roughly 4 ounces once it is fully dried.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Fascists don't want immigrants to take your jobs; they want AI to take your jobs.

Christine Update of the Week: Early in May I went to the dermatologist about a thing on my face. They took it off and sent it to the lab. A week later I got a phone call that it was squamous cell carcinoma. I also got an email that said I could get a copy of the diagnosis at some website. When I went to the site it claimed to have never heard of me. I thought it was fine they would send it to my regular doctor and he would be able to explain it. But when I went in to give blood for lab work the nurse said they did not, in fact, have the diagnosis. They had other reports and pictures, etc. but not the diagnosis. So I stopped by the office and they printed off a copy. It said I had “well differentiated” squamous cell carcinoma. I looked up all the bits on the internet. “Well differentiated means it was easy to tell the cancer cells from the skin cells. Which means it is a low-grade, slow growing cancer. Whew! I kind of feel like the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy just changed my entry from Almost harmless to Harmless.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Trek Long Island 2026 (12-14, Hauppauge, NY) ...Together we can make a difference. https://treklongisland.com/

Whatever This Is of the Week: Being bilingual means double the sad songs you can cry to. --Submitted by LanguageNerds

Spark of Joy of the Week: It's so #!*%#+# crazy to me that almost all of society's problems could be dealt with by taxing the grotesquely wealthy until they were only obscenely wealthy. --Jason Barfnett -_Submitted by gr of oh

Mechanic: They auto know better. ĦĦ My partner wrote their thesis on differences between propeller mechanics and human anatomy. I've gotta say...I'm not a fan.

..........I can feel it bubbling up.........Chaka Khan …..Sharing The Love

5) Since 2012, June 12th has been officially known as National Jerky Day in the United States. This holiday was created by the Wisconsin Beef Council to build awareness about jerky. The best way to celebrate National Jerky Day is by buying your favorite jerky and eating as much as you can throughout the day on June 12th.

Protest Sign of the Week: Trump Is The Insurrection

Second Protest Sign of the Week: Midterms: Make It Too Big To Rig

Quote of the Week: Many people hear voices when no-one is there. Some of them are called “mad” and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called “writers” and they do pretty much the same thing. --Ray Bradbury

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I get that the new world is struggling to be born but can't we get an epidural or something? --Mary Beth Janssen

Today's Peace of History: June 12, 1967: The Supreme Court struck down state miscegenation laws prohibiting interracial marriages as violations of the 14th amendment which guarantees equal protection under the law. In June of 1958, Richard Loving and Mildred Jeter had married in Washington D.C. Upon return to their home state of Virginia, the couple was arrested, convicted of a felony, and sentenced to a year in jail. Their appeal led to the decision.

I had one of those Swiss made cars, but I didn't keep it long. It kept getting stuck in neutral. ĦĦ That body shop mechanic is kind of creepy. It's like she has an auto body experience every time she works on a car.

..........Close the wound, hide the scar.........Carly Simon …..That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, June 12, 2026: Mechanized ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them. --George Herbert Walker Bush

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 6/11/26: $707,819,308,268 That's 18 billion 745 million 226 thousand 328 dollars spent in just one week**

**With $18 billion we could fully fund the Global Fund's plan to save 23 million lives and prevent 400 million infections from AIDS, tuberculosis, and malaria.

Pentagon Spending as of 6/04/26: $689,074,081,940

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

The right to vote too easily suffers abrasion if a fee is imposed, or a poll tax is enacted. The political franchise of voting should be completely unencumbered. --Justice William O Douglas

Famous Last Words: Turn me loose. --Medgar Evers Died 6/12/1963 by assassination

..........My life, my joy, my fear, my anger.........Sweet Honey In The Rock …..Tomorrow

You can make a mechanical frog; but you can't use bolts, you have to use rivets. ĦĦ I complained to my mechanic that the front passenger's wheel always seems to run a little flat. So he bought it a tuning fork.

May Peace tighten your bolts

And Joy loosen your screws

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Deluded ePistle

Famous First Words: Vi, Frederik den Syvende, af Guds Naade, Konge til Danmark. ...Constitution of Denmark under the monarchy (1849) “We, Frederik the Seventh, by the Grace of God, King of Denmark...”

It's The Day of Popular Delusions! Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also, great news world hunger is over because I just ate. --Stephen Colbert §§ Childhood Delusion: Snails suffered in the rain. So I would take out a large umbrella and sit under it and hold it over the garden to protect the snails.

..........'Cause when you worry your face will frown.........Bobby McFarin …..Don't Worry, Be Happy

Simon and Garfunkel have reunited to announce they will not be playing the Freedom 250 concert and then promptly broke up again.

Words ought to be a little wild, for they are the assaults of thoughts on the unthinking. --John Maynard Keynes

It is a windy (10-15 mph ssw) Friday morning. Trees and flags and flowers are all dancing silently. The sky is filled with fluffly white clouds whose tops catch the rising sun and glow while thin gray clouds below them run ahead of the breeze like they are frightened. I was standing at my back door watching a bluejay sitting on a power line and a squirrel sitting on the roof of the shed watching me; waiting for me to leave so they could break fast on peanuts and sunflower seeds. They pretend not to be watching me. Earth smells like rain although none has fallen recently nor is any predicted; humidity just rises unseen to tease the nose. I am drinking doctored decaf and breathing slowly to help Puck over his coughing as he sleeps under my feet. And I'm writing to you. It has the makings of a delightful morning.

Hope your weekend is real enough to remember but delusional enough to be fun, weekenders

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There is no physical evidence to say that today is Friday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one. --FM Chauncy --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Your delusional behavior really solidifies my belief in the statement, “You can't argue with crazy”. §§ One of the most famous historical psychiatric quirks was the glass delusion. Prominent nobles, including King Charles VI of France, genuinely believed their bodies—or sometimes just their buttocks—were made of delicate glass. They wrapped themselves in heavy blankets to prevent shattering and, in Charles's case, had iron rods sewn into their clothes!

..........Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth.........William Pharrell …..Happy

Emmet Otter's Jugband announced they will not perform at the Freedom 250 event. (Neither will Kermit, Animal, or Miss Piggy.)

Trivia Questions: Happy Donut Day aka Doughnut Day

1. The “modern” doughnut was invented in 1847. Do you know who invented it?

2. Which American writer was the first writer to wax lyrical about donuts?

3. Which doughnuts did Voodoo Donuts name “medicinal”?

4. Which east coast city has the most doughnut shops per person?

5. How many donuts are made in the US every year – more or less?

Big Hello: Aa – Venda (South Africa & Zimbabwe) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When I said I wanted to be mysterious and fascinating, I didn't mean medically. --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: This squirrel laid on the top of the chain link fence for at least 5 minutes while I got my phone and finally got the camera up and working.

85 Year Old Protest Song of the Week: When That Man Is Dead And Gone written by Irving Berlin performed by the Glenn Miller orchestra https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4IUesQQKKQ ~~”That man” was Hitler.

Have you thought about therapy for your delusions of grandeur? Yes, but I can't find a therapist who's really good enough. §§ During a time of extreme stress and forced celibacy, convents occasionally became ground zero for mass hysteria. In one famous French convent, a nun started meowing, and soon the entire convent joined in on the caterwauling. It became an organized, daily ritual where they would all meow together at structured times for several hours.

..........What a good place to be.........Housemartins …..Happy Hour

Breaking: The B Sharps featuring Homer Simpson have just pulled out of the Freedom 250 concert.

Moonbeam: The purpose of anthropology is to make the world safe for human differences. --Ruth Benedict

Blasphemy of the Week: Anyone who doesn't understand why freedom of religion should also include freedom from religion, doesn't understand freedom. --https://www.facebook.com/blasphemememes

Coffee Joke of the Week: My coffee isn't a drink. It's a tiny brown restraining order between me and society. https://www.facebook.com/maythecoffeebewithyou

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right...there is a 90% change you'll get it wrong. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

I need someone to explain why it's always “if you can't pay rent, buy fewer lattes and avocado toasts” and not “if you can't pay employees a living wage, buy fewer yachts and real estate”. §§ Following the exile and death of Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, Europe experienced a massive surge in "Napoleons." Dozens of men in asylums across France suffered from a delusion of grandeur, firmly believing they were the Emperor himself. These asylums essentially became full-scale royal courts where dozens of Napoleons had to navigate coexisting in the same room.

.........Never blew a second chance..........Rolling Stones …..Happy

Wyld Stallyins (aka Bill and Ted) confirm bogus errors in communication. They will NOT be playing the most heinous Freedom 250 concert.

1) 16 year old sea captain Hanson Gregory was frustrated by the raw dough center so he punched a hole using the spokes of his ship's wheel so the pastry would fry evenly. ~~This was the origin story I grew up with. But I have a problem with it. How did a 16 year old get to a sea captain? Also one source claims Gregory's mother used to make the pastries and send them to the crew.

Almanac: It is Friday June 5, 2026. The moon will enter its 4^th quarter on Monday (6/8) and will also enter Aquarius today. Today is Festival of Popular Delusions Day, HIV Long Term Survivors Awareness Day, Hot Air Balloon Day, International Day for The Fight Against Illegal (Unreported and Unregulated Fishing), National Gun Violence Awareness Day, National Moonshine Day, National Veggie Burgers Day, and World Environment Day. Because it is the first weekend in June it is also Doughnut Day aka Donut Day and Horseradish Days.

Among those born on this day were Thomas Chippendale (1718 – the furniture maker not the stripper), Adam Smith (1723), John Couch Adams (1819), Pancho Villa (1878), John Maynard Keynes (1883), Ruth Benedict (1887), William Boyd (1895), Federico Gracia Lorca (1898), Bill Moyers (1934), Waylon Jennings (1937), Ken Follett (1939), Kenny G (1956), Ron Livingston (1967), and Jack Smith (1969).

On June fifth Denmark became a constitutional monarchy (1849), the US went off the gold standard (1933), the Baker Street Irregulars met for the first time (NYC, 1934), the American Negro Theater organized (1940), Denmark adopted a new constitution (1953), segregation on buses was outlawed nationally (1956), Bobby Kennedy was shot (1968), and the waterfront streetcar began running in Seattle (1982).

Night Sky, 6/5: Jupiter and Venus are tightening up. Mercury is low in the west-northwest right behind them. The Milky Way core rises brightly after midnight.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Ollie, Max and the Big Dice

This Week: Saturday, June 6 – The Belmont Stakes & Drawing or Pencil Day & YoYo Day & National Prairie Day

Sunday, June 7 – National Animal Rights Day & World Caring Day & World Naturist Day

Night Sky, 6/7: Venus moves to within 2.3° of Jupiter.

Monday, June 8 – Ghostbusters Day & Upsy Daisy Day & World Oceans Day & National Best Friends Day

Night Sky, 6/8: Sunrise: 5:55 am CDT Sunset: 8:44 pm CDT (14 Hours and 49 minutes of daylight) Moonrise: 7:24 am CDT Moonset: 4:26 pm CDT

Tuesday, June 9 – Donald Duck Day & International Celtic Art Day & Toy Industry Day

Wednesday, June 10 – AA Founders Day & Ball Point Pen Day & Iced Tea Day

Night Sky, 6/10: Saturn-Moon Conjunction 5° East at midnight Day Sky, 6/10: Arietids Meteor Shower (Daytime) 60-200/hour in Aries. We can't see it, but they will be tracked on various computer sites. https://theskylive.com/meteorshower-daytimearietids

Thursday, June 11 – National Get Outdoors Day & National Making Life Beautiful Day

All my children's children are beautiful and take after their grandmother. §§ Despite the July heat in 1518, Frau Troffea began silently dancing in the streets of Strasbourg, France. She'd kept up her bizarre dance marathon for nearly a week when suddenly other citizens began joining her. Soon the streets were filled with three dozen dancers. By August, an astounding 400 were shimmying and shaking nonstop all over the city.

..........Brush off the clouds and cheer up.........Dick VanDyke & Janet Leigh …..Put On A Happy Face

Gus Polinski (John Candy) just announced that the Kenosha Kickers Polka Band have pulled out of the Great American State Fair.

2) Washington Irving lists the doughnut along with crullers and olykoek as part of the legendary Van Tassel feast.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There was a young lady named Bright, Whose speed was far faster than light. She went out one day, In a relative way, And returned the previous night. --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Moonbeam: Our faith in the present dies out long before our faith in the future. --Ruth Benedict

Fun Fact of the Week: Happy National Moonshine Day! You've seen cartoons that depict moonshine as a jug with xxx on it. The x's indicate how many times the liquor was processed through the still. The more xs the stronger.

Video of the Week: Segregation on buses was outlawed by the supreme court in 1955. Yet Freedom Riders on interstate buses were nearly murdered in 1961. Here are some of their stories. (3:34)

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward. --John Maynard Keynes

Your extremely delusional beliefs about your nonexistent greatness make you an excellent candidate for immediate psychiatric intervention. §§ In March of 1954 the town of Bellingham in northwest Washington the population began noticing tiny pockmarks on their car windshields. By mid-April, Seattle was reeling from the problem. Theories blamed sand fleas and/or H-bomb fallout. When the police investigated 15,000 cars they found that 5% of the damage was due to hoodlumism and the other 95% was mere hysteria. The damage was due to normal, non-nefarious wear and tear.

That banjo playing kid from Deliverance doesn't see himself going to the Freedom 250 concert.

..........The skies above are clear again.........Barbra Streisand …..Happy Days Are Here Again

3) Portland, Oregon-based Voodoo Doughnut is famous for its wild doughnut flavors. For a while, the doughnut shop even offered NyQuil- and Pepto Bismol-coated doughnuts (the latter were dipped in Pepto Bismol, sprinkled with Tums, and marketed to customers who’d had too much to drink and wanted a snack that was easy on the stomach). The doughnut shop was eventually forced to retire its medicinal flavors after the FDA stepped in.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You can not use someone else's map to find yourself. --Submitted by ma of va

Weird Word of the Week: Mellisonant: something that is sweet and pleasing to the ear. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mellisonant

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Boost a compost bin. Pouring flat Coca-Cola into the compost pile helps jumpstart the micro-organisms. The Real Thing increases the acidity and the sugar feeds the micro-organisms increasing the organic matter in the compost. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola2.html

I live in a delusional world dipped in chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate §§ Doctor, I have a terrible problem. Every time I eat chocolate, I suffer from the delusion that the candy bar is magically multiplying! Don't worry, that's just a classic case of Obsessive Chocolate Disorder.

I heard neither Lawrence Welk nor his bubble machine will be at the Freedom 250 Great American State Fair.

...........No such thing as gone too far.........Blake Sheldon …..Happy Anywhere

4) Boston, MA has a donut shop for every 2,480 in the city.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw shit. --Stephen King

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Narrativity 2025 (4-7, Plymouth, MN) A Convention for the Art and Craft of Writing https://www.narrativity.fun/Audio

Audio of the Week: The Bootstrap Boys: All You Fascists Bound To Lose https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAcMfCvX3Qs

Spark of Joy of the Week: The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. --Thich Nhat Hanh

A friend accused me of being delusional. I almost fell off my unicorn. §§ I aspire to be as delusional as a vegan ordering a cauliflower chicken wing. They put the lemon pepper on there and look you dead in the eye, fully believing they are biting into a buffalo wing. I love optimism!

Vanilla Ice wants to bring back the 90s...Unfortunately, Trump wants them to be the 1890s. --Tom Kitchen Jr

..........Now I'm havin' so much fun..........Blood Sweat and Tears …..You Make Me So Very Happy

5) Over 10 billion donuts are made every year in the US.

Protest Sign of the Week: Stop Watching Start Acting

Quote of the Week: You guys....we made it all up. ALL of it. Everything. Money. Bills. Gender. Capitalism. Femininity. Masculinity. Body image. The 5 day workweek. Three meals a day. School. College. Fashion, Expectations. Institutions. Holidays. Traditions. Literally every single thing that we take for granted as “just the way it's done” is f*cking made up and I just feel like it's really important that we remember that. --mamaoffthegrid --Submitted by TPWJS

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The delusion of MAGA is they think kicking out immigrants will make capitalism work again. The delusion of liberals is they think electing a Democrat president will make capitalism work again. They're both wrong. The world is in decay because capitalism only works for the rich. --Power to the People --Submitted by cjj of ks

Today's Peace of History: June 5, 1972: Jane Briggs Hart, the wife of Senator Philip A. Hart (D-Michigan), informed the Internal Revenue Service that she wouldn’t pay some of her taxes; instead, she deposited her quarterly estimated tax of $6,200 in a special bank account. She wrote: "I cannot contribute one more dollar toward the purchase of more bombs and bullets.

But you don't have delusions. The idea that you have them is merely a delusion. §§ When the overly confident donkey looked into the mirror she saw a majestic lioness. By the way, she had a serious self-perception delusion.

The fart sound made from a hand in the armpit has announced it will not perform at Trump's 250^th concert. --Submitted by cj of ks

..........When whatever here is done.........Bruce Springsteen …..Happy

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, June 5, 2026: Deluded ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I long to speak out the intense inspiration that comes to me from the lives of strong women. --Ruth Benedict

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 6/04/26: $689,074,081,940

Pentagon Spending as of 6/01/26: $680,101,472,407 ~~That comes to 2 billion, 253 million, 152 thousand 383 dollars and 25 cents EVERY DAY in just 4 days.

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

An additional 7 and one half billion more than last month.

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/category/military/

Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone. --John Maynard Keynes

Famous Last Words: This Act shall come into operation at the same time as the Constitution of the Kingdom of Denmark Act, 5th June, 1953. --Danish Constitution of 1953

The Von Trapp family announced that they have been through this before and they will not be performing at the Freedom 250 concert.

..........Until we meet again.........Roy Rogers …..Happy Trails

Life is too short to have anything but delusional notions about yourself. --Gene Simmons §§ Don't Humor Me! I'm Delusional!

May your Peace be real

And your Joy be solid

prairie mama

christine

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