Sam's ePistle

Famous First Words: Fugitive Slave Riot in Lancaster Co, Pa. --headline in the first New York Daily Times newspaper 9/18/1851 Extra Credit: Christiana Riot (aka incident aka resistance)

A Happy 317^th Birthday to Samuel Johnson! I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. && He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. --Samuel Johnson

..........You get everything that you need in there..........Jimmie Rodgers …..Nobody Knows But Me

There are two ways of exerting one's strength; one is pushing down, the other is pulling up. --Booker T Washington

It is the beginning of another HOT day in Kansas. The air is muggy and the temperature is 85°F and it's not yet 10 am. But Weather.com is promising cooler weather for the weekend...a high in the 60s on Sunday. So we all have our fingers crossed. I've been to the doctor this morning. Not only did he pronounce me alive – that's important when you're in your 80s and when you see pictures of Mitch McConnell every day looking like he's not really alive even when they prop him up in a wheelchair. Stay cool!

Hope your weekend is filled with wit and wisdom, kind ladies and gentle men.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why do eggs come in flimsy cardboard boxes, yet batteries come in packets only a chainsaw can open? https://www.facebook.com/share/v/19gpNn3R2N/

A writer only begins a book. A reader finishes it. && Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. --Samuel Johnson

..........We're gonna ride the surf.........Frankie Avalon …..Beach Party

Trivia Questions: Happy National Cheeseburger Day!

1. When and/or where was the first cheeseburger fried up?

2. When and/or where did the name “cheeseburger” become official?

3. In what exact position should cheese be in the cheeseburger?

4. How high did Jimmy Buffet's Cheeseburger In Paradise make on the charts?

5. How big was the biggest commercially available cheeseburger?

Big Hello: Ẹ ńlé – Yorba (spoken in west Africa) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a midterm vote today. --Wimpy

Image of the Week: My Brother, Fletcher Hendrix Bray (But I call him FH)

A Wandering Share of the Week: Today my brother would have turned 86 years old. I miss him so much. He turned me on to folk music, beat poetry, and Henry Gregor Felsen. He was also my source for information about our childhood and family history in general. Now I'm that source for my other brother and all the grand and great grandchildren - a task for which I feel very unqualified. FH was a physicist who worked for Boeing in Seattle for years. Of course that led to rocket scientist jokes. (I prefer working with rocket scientists. They always seem to understand when you have a few parts left over at the end.") He was in non-destructive testing; non-destructive was the term for “living humans are involved”. He once talked a co-worked into growing a beard and then the guy couldn't wear the helmet of the non-destructive suit; so he had to shave. Fletch lived in Phoenix and wore a T-shirt that read: There goes Arizona, trying to out-Florida Texas. At one of my high school reunions (maybe 55 years) one of the Staley girls said their older sister had told them to ask if Fletch was still good looking. I've always thought so.

What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure. && My congratulations to you, sir. Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good. --Samuel Johnson

..........There's no girl I know can beat 'er..........Frankie Avalon …..Dede Dinah

Moonbeam: The failure to dissect the cause of war leaves us open for the next installment. --Chris Hedges

Blasphemy of the Week: Jesus Christ is the most famous victim of identity theft. --James Talarico

Insult of the Week: I don't think his cornbread is done in the middle.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: “If you don't own a gun, you can't have an opinion on the Second Amendment.” Cool take! Now do uteruses.

I never desire to converse with a man who has written more than he has read. && Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble. --Samuel Johnson

..........A teenager ne'er do well..........Frankie Avalon …..Beauty School Dropout

1) Cheeseburger history is heavily debated. Pasadena, CA (1924) is the leading contender. Lionel Sternberger, a teenager working at his father's sandwich shop, The Rite Spot, experimentally dropped a slice of American cheese onto a sizzling burger patty. He called it a Cheese hamburger. Next is LA (1928) O'Dell's had a menu item cheeseburger smothered in chili. Also Louisville, KY (1934), then Denver, CO (1935) get honorable mention.

Almanac: It is Friday, September 18, 2026. The moon reaches its first quarter tonight and is in Sagittarius. Today is Air Force Birthday, Chiropractic Founders Day, Hug A Greeting Card Writer Day, International Equal Pay Day, National Ceiling Fan Day, National Cheeseburger Day, National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day, National Respect Day, Read An Ebook Day, and World Water Monitoring Day. Because it is the third Friday it is also Constitution Day, Pledge Across America, International Grenache Day, National Concussion Awareness Day, National POW/MIA Recognition Day, and National Tradesmen Day.

Among those born on this day were Samuel Johnson (1709), Adrien-Marie Legendre (1752), Booker T Washington (1895), Agnes De Mille (1905), Eddie "Rochester" Anderson (1905), Greta Garbo (1905), John J. Rhodes (1916), Rossano Brazzi (1916), Nikolai N. Rukavishnikov (1932), Jimmie Rodgers (1933), Roman Polanski (1933), Fred Willard (1933), Frankie Avalon (1940), Chris Hedges (1955), James Gandolfini (1961), Spike Spice (1966), Aisha Tyler (1970), Jada Pinkett Smith (1971), Lance Armstrong (1971), and James Marsden (1973).

On September 18^th the first piano in the US was documented (Boston, 1769), the cornerstone was laid for the Capitol Building (1810), the NY Times began publishing (1851), the Pacific Stock Exchange opened (1882), DD Palmer became the first chiropractor (1895), Britain tested its first twin-engine airplane (1911), CBS went on the air (Columbia, 1927), CBC went on the air (Canadian, 1942), Ralph Bunche became the UN mediator in Palestine (1948), Vanguard 3 was launched into orbit (1959), Get Smart premiered (1965), and the first black NL umpire umped (1972).

Night Sky, 9/18: Venus is dazzling in the west tonight. It's at its greatest brilliancy.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Bike rack workout

This Week: Saturday, September 19 – International Coastal Cleanup Day & National Dance Day & National Gymnastics Day

Sunday, September 20 – National Care For Kids Day & World Cleanup Day & Yom Kippur begins at sundown

Night Sky, 9/20: The core of the Milky Way is visible in the south and southwest near Sagittarius and Scorpius.

Monday, September 21 – International Day Of Peace

Tuesday, September 22 – Hobbit Day & Ice Cream Cone Day & World Rhino Day & Autumnal Equinox

Night Sky, 9/22: The sun crosses the celestial equator at 0:05 (UTC) which is 7:05 pm CDT

Wednesday, September 23 – Dogs In Politics Day & International Day of Sign Languages & Celebrate Bi-Sexuality Day

Thursday, September 24 – Punctuation Day & World Gorilla Day & World Maritime Day

Night Sky, 9/24: Sunrise: 7:04 am Sunset 7:25 pm 12 hours and 21 minutes of daylight Moonset: 1:23 am Moonrise: 12:50 pm

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust. && To keep your secret is wisdom, but to expect others to keep it is folly. --Samuel Johnson

..........the bestest pal you've ever hand..........Frankie Avalon …..After You've Gone

2) In 1935 a trademark for the name Cheeseburger was awarded to Louis Ballast of the Humpty Dumpty drive-in in Denver, CO.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Oh, no. I just found out I'm Anna's imaginary friend. I thought she was mine.

Moonbeam: Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater. --Roman Polanski

Fun Fact of the Week: If the vacuum of space didn't block sound from reaching us, the sun would be as loud as a jackhammer everywhere on Earth.

Video of the Week: Maxwell Smart and the Chief use the portable cone of silence. (1:24) https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2820809981502415

You can't hold someone down without staying down with them. --Booker T Washington

Allow children to be happy in their own way, for what better way will they find? && People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed. --Samuel Johnson

..........make my dreams come true........Frankie Avalon …..Venus In Blue Jeans

3) The default position for most cheese slices is squarely on top of the burger patty. At least, this was a widely held position until people on the internet lost their minds in 2017 when Google's cheeseburger emoji featured cheese being placed below the patty, spurring a brief but intense internet debate as to the cheese's rightful place in the burger hierarchy.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I just think it would be better for everyone if the people who make adhesive for maxi pads and the people who make adhesive for bookstore price stickers switched jobs. --Janel Comeau --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Weird Word of the Week: Syzygy: the alignment of three celestial objects (sun, moon, earth; a rare and beautiful astronomical event. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/syzygy

Dragons of the Week: Amanda Weston

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make a hot cap for your vegetable garden. Remove the label from a clean, empty two-liter plastic bottle of Coca-Cola, cut the bottle in half with a pair of scissors, and place the top half of the bottle over the seedlings. Take off the cap for ventilation and replace the cap at night to retain heat and moisture. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

This is one of the disadvantages of wine, it makes one mistake words for thoughts. && Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out. --Samuel Johnson

...........How long does your momma think we'll wait, wait, wait.........Frankie Avalon …..Ginger Bread

4) Cheeseburger in Paradise made it to #32 on Billboard's 100 Top Hits chart in 1978.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Stop thinking my posts are about you. You're not the only freak show I know. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: SEMOCon 2026 (Southeast Missouri Convention, 18-20, Poplar Bluff, MO) ...Down the rabbit hole... https://www.semocon.com/

Whatever This Is of the Week: Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water. Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

Spark of Joy of the Week: A woman who colors her gray hair is not “afraid of aging.” A woman who leaves it gray hasn't “given up.” Sometimes hair is just hair, and women are allowed to do whatever the hell they like with theirs. -A Women Soul

Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks. && God Himself does not propose to judge a man until his life is over. Why should you and I? --Samuel Johnson

..........No broken hearts for us..........Frankie Avalon …..Why

5) The largest commercially sold cheeseburger weighed 1,794 pounds and was made by Mallie's Sport Grill & Bar in Southgate, MI. It included 2000 lbs of raw meat and 300 lbs of cheese. It was 3 feet tall, 5 feet wide, and cost $7,799.

Protest Sign of the Week: End Billionaire Welfare

Better Protest Sign of the Week: NOT Red vs Blue BUT Billionaires vs You

Best Protest Sign of the Week: Trump's Administration Is A Crime Wave With A Press Office.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Get out there and be the reason someone increases their meds today. --Submitted by ScienceHumor

Today's Peace of History: September 18, 1961: Earl Bertrand Russell and Lady Edith Russell were released from prison after serving one week of their two-month sentences. They had been part of a Hiroshima Day vigil in Hyde Park, and were accused of inciting civil disobedience.

It is better to live rich than to die rich. && Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not. --Samuel Johnson

..........A rub dub, just relaxing in the tub..........Frankie Avalon …..Splish Splash

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, September 18, 2026: Sam's ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever. --Lance Armstrong

Cost of War: Pentagon Spending 9/17/26: $982,148,215,862 That's twenty billion, thirty-five million, Nine hundred and ninety-three thousand, three hundred and twenty-two dollars for war this week.

Pentagon Spending 9/10/26: $962,112,225,540

Pentagon Spending 9/3/26: $942,699,874,972

Peace is always beautiful. --Walt Whitman

Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Measles in the US: September: 3.294 confirmed cases (725 new cases)

August: 2566 (335 new cases)

July: 2231 (158 new cases)

June: 2073 (231 new cases)

May: 1,842 (94 new cases)

April: 1,748 (386 new cases)

March: 1,362

In the entire year 2010 there were only 63 confirmed cases. https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html

I shall allow no one to belittle my soul by making me hate them. --Booker T Washington

Famous Last Words: We're going to the police. --Final line of Roman Polanski's Knife In The Water

..........to go his bail.........JImmie Rodgers …..In The Jailhouse Now

Being in a ship is like being in jail, with the chance of being drowned. && No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money. --Samuel Johnson

May Peace take you places

And Joy walk you home

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: It's Equal Pay Day

Billowing ePistle

Famous First Words: Professor Tigwissel becoming alarmed... From Professor Tigwissel's Burglar Alarm --the first newspaper cartoon strip 9/11/1875 New York Daily Graphic

Reading This ePistle will not solve your problems, but neither will cleaning your oven.

It's Cloud Appreciation Day! Oh, no, the little cloud just ran away to join the Cirrus. ^@@ I used to own a small plane that I used to fly around for fun. But I had to get rid of it. All those damned computer clouds were tearing it up.

..........Dropping rain from on high.........Jean Warren …..When I See Clouds In The Sky (tune: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)

I think the first duty of society is justice. --Alexander Hamilton

It is a foggy Friday morning. It has been a long time since we've had fog and a while since we've had a temperature of 65°F. An aging Puck declined to go out it in (perhaps he's been watching too many horror movies) and instead peed in the kitchen in front of me while I was fixing his breakfast. Sigh! The wildlife on the back patio, however, is delighted with cooler weather and with nearly soggy sunflower seeds. The sky is hidden above the fog. There is no wind and only the thinnest ends of willow branches are moving at all. I do not hear birdsong. The colors are muted by humidity giving an impressionist quality to the view from the window. I appreciate the coolness, and the beauty as I sip my coffee and listen to Puck sighing under my desk. And now I get to write to you. Another big sigh!

Hope your weekend floats like a cloud, most patient readers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The last time this country experienced this level of civil unrest, the music was a whole lot better. Weaponization of Ignorance

Storm clouds wear thnderwear under their raincoats. ^@@ Does heaven have to supply IT people since they invented cloud storage for computers. --St Peter

..........And I started to dream..........The Rollings Stones …..Get Off Of My Cloud

Trivia Questions: On this day in 1919 the US invaded Honduras.

1. What was the war called? Hint: Not Tropical Storm.

2. What was the US's excuse for invading Honduras?

3. What did the US do?

4. What was the result?

5. What do you know about the Banana Wars?

Big Hello: Mwngz ni – Yongbei Zhuang (China) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I got a job at Comcast and completed training so I could fix my own cable because it was faster than being on hold with customer service. --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Philosophy Punch Line of the Week: Heidegger, Girard, Nietzsche. Like so many others in tech, I draw inspiration from completely misunderstanding those authors. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Whatever This Is of the Week: At this point MAGA is just Stockholm Syndrome for people who don't know where Stockholm is. --sashasrbulj --Submitted by gr of oh

When clouds are sick do they feel, “over the weather”? ^@@ Clara cloud broke up with her boyfriend because he kept bragging that he was made up of Linux servers.

..........It's clouds' illusions I recall.........Joni Mitchell …..Both Sides Now

Humans are the measures of all things. --Protagoras

Moonbeam: The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate. --O Henry

Blasphemy of the Week: The patron saint of copying someone on email is St Francis of a cc. --Submitted by Blasphemy Memes

Extra Blasphemy of the Week: Town Priest: The witches that control the woods are evil. Girl: What do they doi? Town Priest: They aren't heteronormative or patriarchal, do lots of drugs, and have sex with each other. Girl: OMG what specific parts of the woods are they in, so I can avoid them extra hard? --Submitted by MMS

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you're wondering how bad things REALLY are: Clorox announced a recall because some of their cleaning products are contaminated with highly infectious bacteria...--Submitted by 98%

There was once a cloud that became queen. She rained for thirty years. ^@@ The CIA keeps sending drones with microphones into the clouds above the antifa offices.

..........But I'll fly a little higher..........Rob Sobiech …..Clouds

Humans are featherless bipeds. --Plato

1) The military intervention occurred during the First Honduran Civil War which was called the Revolution of '19. This war was in turn part of a broader conflict known as the Banana Wars.

Almanac: It is the 254^th day of the year, Friday, September 11. The moon is new today and is in Virgo. Today is Hug Your Boss Day, Libraries Remember Day, National Dog Walker Appreciation Day, and Remember Freedom Day. Because it is the second Friday it is Cloud Appreciation Day.

Among those born on this day were O Henry (1862), D H Lawrence (1885), Bear Bryant (1913), Ferdinand Marcos (1917), Tom Landry (1924), Earl Holliman (1928), Brian DePalma (1940), Paul Riser (1943), Leo Kottke (1945), Amy Madigan (1950), and Harry Connick Jr (1967).

On September eleventh, Alexander Hamilton was appointed Secretary of the Treasurer (1789). Jenny Lind gave her first US concert (1850). The first newspaper cartoon strip was published (1875). The Bronx Gas & Electric Company opened (1893). The US invaded Honduras (1919). Britain took over the rule of Palestine (1922). Boulder Dam (now known as Hoover Dam) was dedicated (1936).

Night Sky, 9/11: The moon is new today at 3:26 am. That's 0% illumination.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Back to School: One bought a grown up hat.

One dyed his hair purple.

This Week: Saturday, September 12 - National Day of Encouragement & National Hug and High Five Day & Prairie Day

Sunday, August 13 – Bald Is Beautiful Day & Kids Take Over The Kitchen Day & Scooby-Doo Day

Night Sky, 9/13: Mars & Jupiter rise in the east in the morning. Saturn shines all through the night.

Monday, August 14 – Live Creative Day & National Boss/Employee Exchange Day & National Sober Day

Tuesday, August 15 – Greenpeace Day & National Voter Registration Day & National Day of the Cowgirl

Night Sky, 9/15: Cygnus the Swan and Lyra the lyre aka the eagle are the dominant constellations in September.

Wednesday, August 16 – National Tattoo Story Day & Stay Away From Seattle Day & Trail of Tears Commemoration Day

Thursday, August 17 – Citizenship Day & Constitution Day & Time's Up Day

Night Sky, 9/17: Sunrise: 6:58 AM Sunset: 7:37 pm 12 hours and 56 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 7:30 am Moonset: 7:45 pm.

I was gonna tell a cloud joke, but it evaporated. ^@@ I linked my new phone to the cloud, now all I get is mist calls.

..........Head high up in the clouds..........Miley Cyrus …..Midnight Sky

Humans are rational animals. --Aristotle

2) Francisco Bertrand, president of Honduras, attempted to block open presidential succession prompting revolt. Oh, no! Possible regional instability.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Men should think twice before making widowhood women's only path to power. --Gloria Steinem

Moonbeam: Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of existence. --O Henry

Fun Facts of the Week: Today is the anniversary of one of a major name change, damn. In 1930 the newly opened dam was completed and named Hoover after the sitting president, Herbert Hoover. 1933: After Hoover lost the election to FDR, the Secretary of the Interior, Harold Ickes, began calling it Boulder Dam which had been the working title of the project. 1947: Harry Truman signed the legislative act returning Hoover's name to the dam.

Video of the Week: Amy Madigan: He Made A Woman Out Of Me (with Ry Cooder on guitar) from the movie Crossroads. (4:14)

The sacred rights of mankind are not to be rummaged for among old parchments or musty records, They are written, as with a sunbeam, in the whole volume of human nature, by the hand of the divinity itself; and can never be erased or obscured by mortal power. --Alexander Hamilton

On their days off, tornado clouds play tournament Twister. ^@@ The reason it took so long for computers to develop cloud storage was that the Giant -one that Jack climbed the beanstalk and killed- ran the cloud storage business as a monopoly.

..........Take less shape and disappear.........Lousine …..Just A Cloud

Humans are f*cking stupid. --Nietzsche

3) To protect US corporate interests (Cuyamel Fruit and Standard Fruit), the US intervened diplomatically and militarily in Honduras, warning that intervention would ensue. ~~Cuyamel Fruit was bought out by United Fruit in 1929. Standard Fruit is now part of Dole but I didn't get a date.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If someone from ziplock could contact literally anyone in the cereal business, that would be great! https://www.facebook.com/groups/226096020786795/

Weird Word of the Week: Callipygian – having beautifully shaped buttocks. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/callipygian

Dragon of the Week: Ninereeds (Draco Nobilis) and Twoflower --Terry Pratchet's The Colour of Magic ~~That may be Rinsewind behind Twoflower, I'm not sure.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Bake a moist ham. Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the coke for a sumptuous brown gravy. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

Do you figure clouds look down on us and think, “Wow, that one is shaped like a dumbass”? @@ When they told Elon to put his computer files in the cloud, he bought a rocketship.

...........For these ghosts that I chase..........Panic At The Disco …..King Of The Clouds

4) President Bertrand resigned. US troops landed to “protect American lives” even though it was implied that if he resigned they would not invade. The diplomats helped install an interim government (apparently not the one that was actually elected in first place).

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Keith Richards and Willie Nelson outliving Dolly Parton and Richard Simmons really has me questioning everything D.A.R.E. taught me.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Rose City Comic Con (11-13, Portland, OR) Get Your Geek On... https://rosecitycomiccon.com/

Ego Alert of the Week: Why is it that I get this little ego boost, a tiny spark of joy, when I've shared a meme before some hotshot group posts it? Am I suddenly the center of some tiny universe.? I shared it, I didn't create it. Nietzsche was right.

Spark of Joy of the Week: 3 Wishes: 1) I want the wisdom of Athena. 2) I want the strength of an Amazon. 3) I want the audacity of a mediocre Republican man. --rvc of mo

Since her brother said rain was made by clouds' runny noses, my 7 year old refuses to go outside when it rains even with a raincoat, hat, and umbrella. ^@@ Damn, that's no cloud it's just somebody's computer.

..........You may not see the silver linin'...........Brad Paisley …..Behind The Clouds

5) The Banana Wars were a series of US military interventions, occupations, and police actions in Central America from 1898 to 1934.The main goal was to protect American commercial and economic interest in Latin American Designed to protect United Fruit and Standard Fruit. ~~This just sounds horribly like NOT HISTORY.

Protest Sign of the Week: GOD IS LOVE

Second Protest Sign of the Week: Believe Your Eyes Not Their Lies

Quote of the Week: The underlying purpose of AI is to allow wealth to access skill while removing from the skilled the ability to access wealth. --unknown

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you're not up to crushing it today, try just crinkling it.

Today's Peace of History: September 11, 1906: Mohandas Gandhi, a young Indian lawyer, began a nonviolent resistance campaign in Johannesburg, South Africa, demanding rights and respect for those of Asian descent. It was the birth of his concept of political progress through nonviolent resistance known as Satyagraha, or truth-force.

Clouds are fluffy, not fat. Clouds can get skinny just by crying. Can you? ^@@ The reason it took so long to develop IT cloud stoarge was the time it took for enough software and hardware engineers to die and make it to heaven.

..........oh-oh-oh-oh..........One Direction ….Clouds

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, September 11, 2026: Billowing ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Californians are a race of people; they are not merely inhabitants of a State. --O Henry

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending 9/10/26: $962,112,225,540

Pentagon Spending 9/3/26: $942,699,874,972

That's nineteen billion, four hundred and twelve million, three hundred and fifty thousand, five hundred and sixty-eight dollars this week. That could double the annual amount of federal K-12 elementary education grants for schools in low income districts.

Without justice, and love, peace will always be the great illusion. --Helder Camara

Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

In politics, as in religion, it is equally absurd to aim at making proselytes by fire and sword. Heresies in either can rarely be cured by persecution. --Alexander Hamilton

Famous Last Words: ...a little droopingly, but with a hopeful heart. --D H Lawrence Lady Chatterly's Lover

..........I'm doing...(fine).........The Temptations …..Cloud Nine

Fog is just a cloud giving you a hug. ^@@ Rainbows are really just prisms sucking data out of cloud storage.

May you be showered by Peace

And flooded by Joy

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Twined ePistle

Famous First Words: I am honoured to inform you myself that I just signed my abdication... Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands 1948 Abdication Speech

September is National DNA, Geonomics & Stem Cell Education Month. Let's celebrate! I just got my DNA test results. I'm 40% from France, 50% from Great Britain, and 10% from a plastics factory in Texas. °° The entire Biology Department wears designer genes.

..........Look at Mother Nature on the run.........Dolly Parton, Emmylou Harris & Linda Ronstadt …..After The Gold Rush

Men simply copied the realities of their hearts when they built prisons. --Richard Wright

It is a quiet Friday morning. The sky is still white waiting for the sun to breach the treeline and color it blue. It is also still cool (75°F) and the humidity is hovering below 80% with a light wind (c. 4 mph from the southeast); it gives the morning a freshness and a chance to breathe before the sun begins to bake the summer out of the land. There is no wildlife at the sunflower seed pile nor bird song in the air. A quiet morning except for Puck's panting in his sleep. Ah, a distant dog barks to let me know that the rest of the world is still out there doing morning things and enjoying the cool while it lasts. I take a sip of doctored coffee and sit down to write to you. Pretty good day so far.

Hope your weekend is less twisted than your DNA, little gene bundles.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: On the upside, all this bad shit could lead to a resurgence in the Blues. https://www.facebook.com/kusala.bhikshu

Got my snowman's DNA test back: 85% water, 8% dirt and 7% dog pee. °° Official Definition DNA: As you can see from the model, the structure is basically a long...twisty...uh, rope-laddery-type...thingy.

..........One more look will get the bed unmade.........Dolly Parton & Julianne Hough …..Baby Blues

Trivia Questions: It's National Food Bank Day.

1. What's the difference between a Food Bank and a Food Pantry?

2. Where do food banks get their food?

3. How is the food stored and transported?

4. How many Food Bank networks are there in the US?

5. How many US citizens are served by food banks and, therefore, food pantries?

Big Hello: Mogethin – Yapese (Micronesia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Rules to learning English: 1. their our know rules

Image of the Week: @wolfpack11720.bsky.social "The word Fascism has, now, no meaning except insofar as it signifies 'something not desirable'." --George Orwell

Blasphemy I of the Week: Book Spine: God's Word, Final, Infallible And Forever Revised Edition. by Floyd C McElveem @freethinkersunite.bsky.social

My frog got his DNA test back. He's part Scottish, part Irish, and a tad Pole. °° My self image problems are genetic. I just heard one of the links on my helix asked another link if these genes made her look fat.

..........and we will always stand by you.........Dolly Parton & Porter Wagoner …..Christina

Moonbeam: Forests precede civilizations and deserts follow them. --François-René de Chateaubriand

Blasphemy II of the Week: If Jesus were around today someone would do a DNA test.

Coffee Joke of the Week: One cup for waking up. One cup for being nice. One cup just in case. https://www.facebook.com/groups/funnycoffeequotes/posts/1394717924396452/

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Secretary of Health Kennedy has written a book; I think it's called How to Avoid Vaccines and Die Like a Medieval Peasant.

The baby's DNA test came back: 80% water and 20% milk. °° Scientists recently combined the DNA of a cheetah and a crab. Things went sideways real fast.

..........Sewing every piece with love.........Dolly Parton …..Coat Of Many Colors

1) Food banks are large, central warehouses that supply the hunger relief network. A Food Pantry is a community service where families go for food. The “network” may also include shelters, after school spaces, etc.

Almanac: It is Friday, September 4, 2026. The moon enters its last quarter today and is in Gemini. Today is National Spice Blend Day, National Wildlife Day, and Newspaper Carrier Day. Because this is the first Friday of September it is also Bring Your Manners To Work Day, National Chianti Day, National Food Bank Day, Stand Up To Cancer Day, and National Lazy Mom's Day. And because it is the Friday Before Labor Day it is National College Colors Day. (KU's are crimson and blue, in case you didn't know.)

Among those born on this day were François-René, de Chateaubriand (1768), Richard Wright (1908), Paul Harvey (1918), Dick York (1928), Mitzi Gaynor (1931), Sonny Charles (1940), Gene Parsons (1944), Gary Duncan (1946), Tom Watson (1949), Damon Wayans (1960), John DiMaggio (1968), Natalie Diaz (1978), Poo Bear (1979), Beyoncé (1981), and Nyota Uhura (2179).

On September fourth Los Angeles was founded (1781). There were bread riots in Mobile, AL (1864). Hawaii got its first daily newspaper (1866). The first cafeteria opened (NYC, 1885). Eastman patented both the film and the "Kodak" (1888). Doris Kopsky became the first NABA female cycling champion (1937). Queen Wilhelmina of The Netherlands abdicated (1948). The first transcontinental TV broadcast aired (Pres Truman, 1951). The Edsel was introduced (1957). NASA launched the first Orbital Geophysical Observatory (OGO-1, 1964).

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Hiking to the campsite with mom.

Night Sky, 9/4: September is a prime month to view the Milky Way. Tonight is the last night of the Aurigid Meteor Shower.

This Week: Saturday, September 5 – Be Late For Something Day & International Bacon Day & Jury Rights Day

Sunday, September 6 – Bowling League Day & National Pastor's Spouses Day & Pet Rock Day

Night Sky, 9/6: Cassiopeia and the Great Square of Pegasus dominate the night sky.

Monday, September 7 – Labor Day

Tuesday, September 8 – Dog Walker Appreciation Day & International Literacy Day & National Ampersand & Day

Night Sky, 9/8: Jupiter, Saturn, and Mars are visible in the early morning and Venus can be seen in the evening sky

Wednesday, September 9 – National Teddy Bear Day & Wonderful Weirdos Day

Thursday, September 10 – Swap Ideas Day & (World) Suicide Prevention Day & National School Picture Day

Night Sky, 9/10: Sunrise: 6:52 am Sunset 7:48 pm 12 hours and 55 minutes of daylight Moonset: 3:16 pm. ...note the moon does not rise again until 12:17 am tomorrow

Once I took a DNA test. It was pretty hard but I think I passed. °° The geneticist used to send out cards to couples who found out they were pregnant. The card said: Congratulations on successfully combining your DNA.

..........Life took me on a different twist.........Dolly Parton …..Gettin' Happy

2) Food banks receive donations from farmers, grocery stores, wholesalers, manufacturers, and individual supporters. Partnerships that help prevent food waste while feeding those in need. A major resource is food rescue; the process of capturing safe, high-quality food that might otherwise be discarded due to labeling errors, short shelf life, etc.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Every time you make a typo the errorists win. --Submitted by LanguageNerds

Moonbeam: Trust your anger. It is a demand for love. --Natalie Diaz Postcolonial Love Poem

Observation of the Week: On the other hand, the examined life doesn't seem to produce much income. --Edward Sorel --Submitted by UUHS

Video of the Week: President Truman on the first transcontinental television airing. (:45)

Don't leave inferences to be drawn when evidence can be presented. --Richard Wright

To study for your DNA test, try highlighting with a genetic marker. °° DNA without Helix is just a flat joke.

..........Bittersweet memories.........Dolly Parton …..I Will Always Love You

3) Modern food banks have large climate-controlled warehouses where food is sorted and stored until it is needed. Sorting is a labor intensive task and local volunteers often help with that. Distribution is to local churches, shelters, neighborhood pantries, and nonprofits. Food banks provide the infrastructure, while community partners bring compassion and knowledge of the region.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My 8-year-old asked if I've ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd question considering I don't have any 8-year-olds. --Steve Acree --Submitted by jm or ks

Weird Word of the Week: Deipnosophist – a person skilled in table talk. https://www.dictionary.com/browse/deipnosophist

Dragon of the Week: Boris aka My Father's Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Strip paint off metal patio furniture. Cover the painted surface for one week with a bath towel saturated with Coca-Cola. Add more Coke daily to keep the towel drenched. The paint strips off effortlessly. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

A Home DNA test kit does not make a good baby shower gift. °° My DNA test results confirm it...I'm probably human.

...........I'm beggin' of you, please don't take my man.........Dolly Parton …..Jolene

4) One network, Feeding America, consists of between 200-250 member food banks. There are also dozens of independent and regional food related banks.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Contrary to popular belief, pigs don't actually speak pig Latin. They speak Porkuguese. --Submitted by cn of

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Dragon Con 2026 (3-5, Atlanta, GA) Dragon Con is the largest multi-media, popular culture convention focusing on science fiction & fantasy... https://www.dragoncon.org/

Whatever This Is of the Week: Lego Kit: Kansas University Campanile bell tower. Details

Spark of Joy of the Week: To the people who lose one shoe on the side of the highway, please tell me what the rest of your life is like. https://www.facebook.com/theherdhub

New DNA tests have revealed that Orville and Wilbur's parents were actually Chinese. So I guess that means two Wongs do make a Wright. °° I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed...guess my thymine was off.

..........I woke up this mornin' with a smile on my face.........Dolly Parton …..Last Night's Lovin'

5) Roughly 49 to 53 million people in the US rely on food pantries and food banks.

Protest Sign of the Week: LOVE LIKE DOLLY

Quote of the Week: The real problem of humanity is the following: we have paleolithic emotions, medieval institutions, and god-like technology. --Edward O Wilson

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Major in philosophy: Ask people WHY they would like fries with that burger. https://www.facebook.com/authormontgomery

Today's Peace of History: September 4, 1978: Simultaneous demonstrations in Moscow’s Red Square and in front of the White House in Washington, D.C. were organized by the War Resisters League, calling for nuclear disarmament.

After 10 years, a mother realizes her child doesn't look like anyone in the family and gets a DNA test done. Surprise, it's not her child! She tells the husband, who calmly replies, "What, you don't remember?" The wife shakes her head worriedly, hoping her husband's answer will fill in the gap. He says to her: "When we were leaving the hospital, the baby pooped in the diaper. You told me to change it, so I went back inside, grabbed a clean baby, and left the dirty one there." °° DNA thinks it's funny to ask RNA “Are you still single” every time she sees him.

..........I might be crazy, but I ain't dumb.........Dolly Parton & Porter Wagoner …..Run That By Me One More Time

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, September 4, 2026: Twined ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Golf is a game of ego, but it is also a game of integrity: the most important thing is you do what is right when no one is looking. --Tom Watson

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending 9/3/26: $942,699, 874,972

~~That 19 billion, one hundred and twenty-seven million, six hundred and nineteen thousand, four hundred and thirty-five dollars this week. (8/28-9/3) AND five billion, eight hundred and thirty-three million, one hundred and seventy thousand, five hundred dollar in 3 days.

Pentagon Spending 9/1/26: $936,866,704,472

Pentagon Spending 8/27/26: $923,572,255,537

Peace is the virtue of civilization. War is its crime. --Victor Hugo

Pentagon Spending in August 2026: $89,089,647,361

Pentagon Spending in July 2026: $85,053,017,282

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Men can starve from a lack of self-realization as much as they can from a lack of bread. --Richard Wright

Famous Last Words: ...And know you know the rest of the story. --Paul Harvey

..........Don't talk to me in circles in some mumbo-jumbo jive.........Dolly Parton …..Straight Talk

I just took a home DNA test. Turns out I'm 100% going to jail for shoplifting. °° If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA Helicase so I could unzip your genes.

May Peace inhabit your soul

And Joy haunt your spirit

prairie mama

christine

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