Cycled ePistle

Famous First Words: Make yourself comfortable. --Superman First words spoken - Action Comics #1 (June 1938)

The 2026 Tour de France begins tomorrow in Barcelona. Chuck Norris once won the Tour de France on a stationary bike. /\ I had a boyfriend who cycled. He used to say things like, “I want to strip you like an undeserved Tour de France title. /\ Two Kerrymen were sitting in a pub when the Tour de France came on the tv. One of the guys turned to the other and asked, “Why do they do that? Why ride miles and miles, up and down hills, around bends, day after day, for weeks? Why do they torture themselves like that?” “It's all for the money,” says the other, “The winner gets half a million pounds.” “I see”, says the questioner, “but why do the others do it?”

..........Whisper of how I'm yearning to mingle with the old time throng..........James Cagney …..Give My Regards To Broadway ~~All of today's song were written or co-written by George M Cohan

Some people think outside the box.

Freedom Week (4-11): The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. --Albert Camus

It is a splendid Friday morning. 77°F with a light wind is not yet hot but it is a little muggy. Birds are busy chattering and singing before the sun gets too high and too hot. There are no real clouds, only small puffs of humidity hovering here and there. They do not provide shade nor play peek-a-boo with the sun. Puck has been out and returned to sleep and cough under my desk. Veronica was around earlier but has disappeared upstairs somewhere leaving a trail of catnip mice and brightly colored balls. I am sipping my doctored decaf and gently petting Puck with my foot. Algeria lost their world cup game last night and Lawrence is mourning the loss. I am not looking forward to a weekend of fireworks and frightened birds (Puck has never paid much attention; explosions, meh). Be safe out there, ePistliers, happy 250^th birthday!

~~Yes, last week I said I was drinking leaded coffee instead of my usual decaf. No, I have not “fallen off the wagon”. I had a restless night and needed a pick-me-up.

Hope all your weekend fireworks are beautiful, matriots and patriots.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Forget a blue wave. I want a Mamdani tsunami. https://www.facebook.com/wokeginger

The first Tour de France was actually won by the 7^th German Panzer Division. /\ First my bike chain went rusty, next my handlebars came loose, then my whole bike fell apart. Chain reaction!

..........I'm a real live nephew of my Uncle Sam.........Bert Parks …..I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy

Some people can't find the box.

Trivia Questions: Happy 136^th Birthday to Idaho!

1. Do you know the origin and/or meaning of the name Idaho?

2. What percentage of Idaho is “public land”?

3. About how many acres of Idaho are considered “wild land”?

4. What percentage of the US potato crop comes from Idaho?

5. Do you know Idaho's nickname?

Big Hello: Tereq – Vōro (Estonia, 75,000 speakers) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Here's my issue, why are fancy burgers so tall. What do you expect me to do with that? Unlock my jaw like a serpent? I can't accommodate that. A good burger should have a wider circumference, not more height. Think about a frisbee or a vinyl. That's ambition, that's progress. --super mario griff --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Image of the Week: My daughter Kirsten sent me this picture of her in Gig Harbor, WA. ~~Fine Print: Pride Education Acceptance Compassion Equity

First Freedom Quote of the Week: If you've never been in my shoes, you have ZERO business telling me how to tie my laces. --Submitted by Feral Spiritualists

Just WATCHING the Tour de France makes my back hurt. I'm just gonna schedule a massage. /\ A 3 time Tour de France winner just said it was time he retired. Then he bought two brand new Continental tyres with wheels.

..........Long before the fashions came.........Bob Hope …..Mary's A Grand Old Name

Some people are the reason the box has a warning label.

Moonbeam: Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old. --Franz Kafka

Blasphemy of the Week: Behold, the dumpster is burning with fire, but the dumpster is not consumed. --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

Coffee Joke of the Week: Coffee is my spirit animal.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: At middle age, the growth of a woman's hair on her legs slows down, which gives her time to care for her newly acquired beard. --Submitted by ks of ks

I watch the Tour de France, only I call it “Tour de Tight Pants”. /\ I once had a job fixing broken bicycle horns. My company's motto was “beep repaired”

..........I'm glad you told me the truth.........Henry Burr …..You Remind Me Of My Mother

1) Version 1: Idaho derived from a Native American word that means “the land of many waters”. English has kept closely to the indigenous pronunciation. Version 2: Despite the popular belief that it is an Indigenous term meaning "Gem of the Mountains," the name "Idaho" is actually not a Native American word. It was fabricated by a white mining lobbyist, George M. Willing, who falsely claimed it was a Shoshone phrase before Congress named the territory

Almanac: It is Friday, July 3, 2026. The moon was full last Monday (6/29) and is in Aquarius. Today is American Sparkling Wine Day, Compliment Your Mirror Day, Drop A Rock Day aka Rock Painting Day, International Plastic Bag Free Day, National Crown Day aka Black Hair Independence Day, National Deep Fried Clams Day, Sparkling Wine Day, Stay Out Of The Sun Day, and Superman Day. Because it is the first Friday it is also Big Tech Day.

Among those born on this day were Louis XI of France 1423, Samuel de Champlain 1567, John Singleton Copley 1738, Charlotte Perkins Gilman 1860, Geroge M Cohan 1878, Franz Kafka 1883,

George Sanders 1906, Tony Curtis 1925, David Lynch 1929, Roger Christian 1934, Tom Stoppard 1937, Gloria Allred 1941, Geraldo Rivera 1943, and Tom Cruise 1962.

On July third The city of Quebec was founded (1608). The 1st savings bank in the US opened (NYC) (1819). The 1st state normal school in the US opened (MA) (1839). Idaho became the 43rd state (1890). The Jaycees were forced to admit women as members (1984).

Night Sky, 7/3: Predawn planets in the east: Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, & Pluto.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Sword Fight with Balloon Weapons

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: These gas prices are the reason the armies in Revelation are riding horses. --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

This Week: Saturday, July 4 – USA Independence Day ...Happy Two Hundred and fiftieth!!

…......You're a high flying flag.........Mike Story …..You're A Grand Old Flag

Sunday, July 5 – Bikini Day & Thong Day

Night Sky, : Predawn Mars & Uranus can be seen in the east (Taurus). Saturn & Neptune rise early in the evening. Jupiter is low in the west just after sunset.

Monday, July 6 – International Kissing Day & World Kiss Day

Night Sky, 7/6: Earth at Aphelion: Earth will be at its greatest distance from the sun this year at 12 pm CDT.

Tuesday, July 7 – Chocolate Day & Dive Bar Day & National Day of Rock n' Roll & Tell The Truth Day

Wednesday, July 8 – National Video Game Day & SCUD (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama)

Night Sky, : Sunrise: 6:01 am CDT Sunset: 8:48 pm CDT 14 Hours and 47 minutes of daylight Moonrise: 12:50 am Moonset: 2:48 pm

Thursday, July 9 – Bald Is In Day & Deadhead Day & National Dimples Day

Amsterdam is like the Tour de France: a lot of people on drugs riding bikes. /\ My old man was a peddler. He sold bicycles door to door.

..........So we ought to all be glad that we're alive.........George M Cohan .....I'm Mighty Glad I'm Living, That's All

2) A whopping 63% of the state is considered public land. ...parks, reserves, lakes, and rivers, etc. I don't know whether it includes buildings, lawns, roads, and jails, etc.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I set my standards high. Actually I do a lot of things high. --Submitted by ks of ks

Moonbeam: Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy. --Franz Kafka

Fun Fact of the Week: We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. --Benjamin Franklin

Video of the Week: An explanation of why the Jaycees were forced to admit women: (:50) Roberts vs Jaycees

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. --George Bernard Shaw

A small insect nest in the middle of a little used highway was destroyed when all 186 Tour de France riders ran over it. Talk about cross ants. /\ An environmentalist entered the Tour de France but every night he would run the same route that they had biked during the day. He just had to recycle

..........Then the fates blow rather breezy.........George M Cohan …..Life's A Funny Proposition After All

3) There are about 4,522,506 acres of wild land in Idaho. Yes, this means there are no roads there.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If kinetic energy can be converted to thermal energy, how hard do I need to slap a chicken to cook it?

Weird Word of the Week: Heliolatry: A worship or reverence of the sun https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/heliolatry

Dragon of the Week: 40 feet high, made of train parts

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean mold and mildew from clothes. Pour a two liter bottle of Coca-Cola into a washing machine, add your regular detergent, let the machine fill with water, and let the clothes soak for thirty minutes before running them through the regular cycle. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

There is a new reality show this summer where the goal is to do as many drugs as possible without dying or getting caught. It's called the Tour de France. /\ It gets more expensive to buy a tyre pump every year. It's all because of inflation.

...........The folks expect a street parade.........George M Cohan …..You Won't Do Any Business If You Haven't Got A Band

4) Nearly one third of America's potatoes are grown in Idaho.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Instead of “single” as a marital status, I prefer “independently owned and operated”. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CONvergence 2026 (2-5, Minneapolis, MN) ...the Geek in the Machine. https://www.convergence-con.org/

Surprise Blasphemy of the Week: It's strange that God made Shakespeare a better writer than Himself.? --Sam Harris --Submitted by MMS

Spark of Joy of the Week: If common sense were free, there'd still be people waiting for it to go on sale. --Submitted by jm or ks

Lance Armstrong is amazing. To recover from testicular cancer and win the Tour de France 7 consecutive times. I don't care that he used drugs. When I was using drugs I couldn't even find my bike. /\ Did you hear about the lunatic who won the Tour de France in one day? He took the psycho path.

..........H A double R I G A N.........James Cagney ....Harrigan

5) Idaho is sometimes called the Gem State. 72 types of precious stones are found in the state.

Protest Sign of the Week: Sperm Cause All Abortions Outlaw Ejaculation

Quote of the Week: So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me for I, too, am fluent in silence. --R Arnold --Submitted by bu of ks

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm having dejamnesia vu. I think I've forgotten this before. --Submitted by cp of ks

Today's Peace of History: July 3, 1835: Children employed in the silk mills at Paterson, NJ, went on strike for an eleven-hour workday and a six-day work week rather than 12-14 hour days. With the help of adults, they won a compromise settlement of a 69-hour week.

A cyclist threw in the towel halfway through the race; picked up his bike and went home. Seconds later a minor avalanche killed 3 teammates that he had been riding next to. Survival of Defeatist. /\ Bank tellers are barred from the Tour de France because they keep losing their balance.

..........The Yanks are coming.........Nora Bayes …..Over There

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, July 3, 2026: Cycled ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: A book should serve as the ax for the frozen sea within us. --Franz Kafka

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 7/2/26: $766,664,729,346 ~~That's three billion, nine hundred and forty one million, two hundred and eighty-nine thousand five hundred and seventeen dollar in one day!

Pentagon Spending as of 7/1/26: $762,723,439,829

***Make wars unprofitable and you make them impossible. --A Philip Randolph

Pentagon Spending in June 2026: $82,621,957,422

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest. --Denis Diderot

Famous Last Words: Are you still there? --Jim Morrison who died 7/3/71 of heart failure perhaps caused by a heroin overdose.

.........Don't forget to come back home.........Ada Jones …..So Long, Mary

Today I rode my bike a mile to the store. So, I guess you can say my Tour de France dreams are getting pretty serious. /\ Lance Armstrong was selling his Tour de France bikes. A potential buyer asked what's the lowest he would go and he said, “About two mph, otherwise you'd tip over.”

May Peace be your companion

And Joy be your sidekick

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Pollinated ePistle

Famous First Words: We the peoples of the United Nations... UN Charter --signed by 50 nations on June 23, 1945

Rock Chalk Algeria!

The Algeria world cup team is based in Lawrence, KS during the games.

June is National Pollinators Month. We all know about bees, right? Bead Bee had such messy hair it was nicknamed FrizzBee ввв The shortest distance between 2 buzz-stops is a beeline. ввв The Brookline Hive called their baby bees humbugs.

..........On a lonely highway.........Chris Isaak …..Blue Hotel

...unite our strength to maintain international peace and security...Preamble UN Charter

It is a rainy Friday morning. The sky is a solid gray-white without texture or wind. But sound is layered and varied and beautiful. First thing I hear is the patter of raindrops falling from the eaves of the house, splat, splat, splat, right outside the door. Then the distant bird conversations from unseen sources somewhere in the trees shading backyards down the block and a wall of sound. Further away motor cars make mechanical white noise as they drive across wet pavement on their way to life. Together it is the soundtrack of a summer morning. I spread out some sunflower seeds and a few peanuts for the wildlife and I return indoors noticing the tiny ponds created by the rain like swimming holes for flies and beetles. Puck has not yet gone out. He sleeps most of the time now. Come to think of it, I sleep more now too. A nap of two a day, drives the sleepy slumps away. Right now, I am sipping regular coffee and listening to my protest song playlist; O, and enjoying the cool, damp day. But writing to you is, as always, the best part.

Hope your weekend is magic, through and through, friends (or not) of Potter.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Celebrating 150 year since Custer got Sioux'd. https://www.facebook.com/thundervalleycdc

Flies (all kinds) are the second most prolific pollinators. A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “Hunting fly, uh?: She asked. “Killing any?” “Yep”, he replied, “3 males and 2 females.” “How can you tell them apart?” she asked. His response, “3 were on the beer can and two on the wine glass.” ₣₣₣ Flies buzz around annoying everyone. I don't even need wings to do that.

..........I can't leave you alone..........Carlos Santana …..Black Magic Woman

Trivia Questions: Yay! It's Canoe Day

1. How long have canoes been around?

2. What is the average speed of a canoe?

3. How many parts does the paddle have and can you name any of them?

4. There are 8 kinds of canoeing; how many can you name?

5. When did canoeing become an Olympic sport?

Big Hello: Chào ahn – Vietnamese https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Experts issue dire warning that AI has now learned how to use the semicolon. https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee

Image of the Week: We paid to build it in the first place, paid for him to renovate it, now we pay to protect it, and will probably pay to restore it in the future.

Butterflies are important pollinators. Do chatty caterpillars turn into social butterflies? ƁƁƁ Brace Butterfly's favorite school subject was mothmatics. ƁƁƁ All caterpillar fortune cookies said “Change Is Imminent”.

..........bueno pa gozar..........Carlos Santana …..Oye Como Va ...Good to enjoy)

Moonbeam: The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible – and achieve it, generation after generation. --Pearl S Buck

Blasphemy of the Week: I only believe in 12.5 percent of the gods. I'm an eightheist

Coffee Joke of the Week: In the orchestra of life, coffee is the conductor.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Have they tried giving all the hydrogen peroxide to one algae and waiting for it to trickle down. --el on bluesky

Second Blasphemy of the Week: God isn't the problem. It's his fanbase.

Beetles do a fair amount of pollinating. A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, “Is this stool taken?” ₿₿₿ I'm a June Bug, a beetle in the genus Phyllophaga.” I'm a July bug, a beetle in the genus Pinacolada”.

..........People, people, let's start together..........Carlos Santana …..Migra

1) The earliest known canoe artifact is the Pesse Canoe in the Netherlands. Carbon dated between 8040 and 7510 BCE.

Almanac: It is Friday, June 26. The moon will be full (Strawberry) on Monday (6/29) and is in Scorpio. Today is 626 Day (Lilo & Stitch), Ashura, Barcode Day, Canoe Day, and Drive Your Corvette to Work Day. Because it is the Friday closest to June 30 it is Harry Potter Day and because it is the 4^th Friday it is International Rose Day, and finally, because it is the last Friday it is International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking, International Day in Support of Victims of Torture, National Canoe Day, National Coconut Day, and Women in Nude Recreation Day . Because it is the Friday closest to June 30 it is Harry Potter Day and because it is the 4^th Friday it is International Rose Day, and finally, because it is the last Friday it is National Food Truck Day.

Among those born on this day were Charles Messier 1730, Abner Doubleday 1819, Jay Stowitts 1892, Pearl S. Buck 1892, Stuart Symington 1901, Peter Lorre 1904, Salvador Allende 1908, Tom Parker 1909, Babe Didrikson 1911, Pavel Belyayev 1925, Pat Morita 1933, Larry (The Mole) Taylor 1942, Carlos Santanna 1947, Chris Isaak 1956, and Chris O'Donnell 1970.

On June twenty-ninth Richard III usurped the English throne (1483), The first pure food law was enacted in the US (1848). The Atlantic City Boardwalk opened (1870), Nieuport set an aircraft speed record at 83mph (1911), The NY Daily News began publication (1919), The US ended an 8 years occupation of the Dominican Republic (1924) , The UN charter was signed by 50 nations (1945), and Madagascar gained independence from France (1960).

Night Sky, 6/26: The bright Moon will appear near the red supergiant star Antares after sunset.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Biscuit & Ollie & Charon & Max

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Reflecting Pool is now the Strait of Warm Ooze. --Audrey Loves Politics

This Week: Saturday, June 27 – Ice Cream Cake Day & National Onion Day & World Bike Naked Day

Sunday, June 28 – Descendants Day & International Body Piercing Day & Log Cabin Day

Night Sky, 6/28: The moon is 98% illuimated and shines near The Teapot, an asterism of Sagittarius.

Monday, June 29 – Festival of Goodwill & International Mud Day & World Camera Day

Night Sky, 6/29: The Strawberry Moon will be full at 7:56 pm CDT.

Tuesday, June 30 – Asteroid Day & National Meteor Watch Day & NOW Day (National Organization of Women)

Night Sky, 6/30: Venus & Jupiter are high in the west after sunset.

Wednesday, July 1 – Canada Day & International Tartan Day & Zip Code Day

Night Sky, 7/1: Mars and the Pleiades visible 90 minutes before sunrise in the east.

Thursday, July 2 – Fast of Tammuz & Made In the USA Day & World UFO Day & World Porcupine Day

Night Sky, 7/2: Sunrise 5:55 am Sunset 8:42 pm 14 hours & 54 minutes & 56 seconds of daylight Moonrise 8:17 am Moonset 10:51 pm

Hummingbirds do their part as pollinators. The bee hummingbird is the smallest bird in the world. Its tiny brain still contains more factual information than Fox news. ₶₶₶ 4 out of every 10 hummingbird jokes ends with the punchline, “Because they don't know the words”.

..........You and the swan will float upon a cloud of pink ice cream..........Chris Isaak …..Cotton Candy Land

2) Canoes average 3 mph.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Does god's GPS say “You Are Everywhere”.

Moonbeam: In real danger sometimes even a democracy can really keep a secret. --Stuart Symington

Fun Fact of the Week: Happy Barcode Day! The first use of the barcode was to label railroad cars. (1961) The first UPC code was on a pack of Wrigley's chewing gum. (1974).

Audio of the Week: Talkin' About A Revolution by Tracy Chapman https://open.spotify.com/track/0YMFcrMtBowDdD5bPz0cgy

To develop friendly relations among nations based on respect for the principle of equal rights and self-determination of peoples, and to take other appropriate measures to strengthen universal peace... --UN Charter Article 1

Bats are on everybody's top ten pollinators list. Bats come out a night, like bad decisions. βββ I used to have a coworker who would say, “I'm hanging in there like a bat.” I thought it was a metaphor until I caught her hanging upside down in her office one day.

..........I keep searching through the rain..........Chris Isaak …..I Wonder

3) There are 6 parts to a paddle: Grip, Neck, Shaft, Throat, Blade, and Tip.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Caught a cat about to leap onto the counter and without thinking I said, “Don't do it. You have a Black auntie now.” He paused and looked at me and then decided not to do it. This proves that cats either understand a lot more than we give them credit for or they respect a good bit. --Sharai Bohannon

Weird Word of the Week: Lissome: Something that is graceful, flexible, or agile. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/lissome

Dragon of the Week: 80 ft of garden wall

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Heat Water. Save empty two-liter Coca-Cola bottles. Paint the clean, empty jugs and bottles black with tempera paint and fill them with water. Set them in the sun in the morning and by late afternoon, the water is hot enough to use for washing dishes or bathing. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola3.html

I came for the pollen and stayed for the fun. ₩₩₩ Wasps are just Wannabees.

...........Well, nobody told me about her..........Carlos Santana …..She's Not There

4) The 8 types of canoeing are Expedition, Wilderness tripping, River, Recreational, Whitewater, Racing, Fishing, and Freighter.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's only Algae if it comes from the L'Algae region of France, otherwise it's just Sparkling Slime. --Dr sp on bluesky

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Realm Makers Writers Convention and Expo 2026 (26-27, St Louis, MO) ...Christians who write speculative fiction... https://www.realmmakers.com/2026-realm-makers-writers-conference-registration/

Anti-Commercial of the Week: I just ate Chick FilA for the first time in 20+ years. (It was free/all they had at my daughter's school picnic.) It sucks. It's good to know that in addition to being morally reprehensible, it's also garage-tier food. --dre on bluesky

Spark of Joy of the Week: June 26, 1963: President John F. Kennedy addressed 120,000 West Berliners and concluded his speech, “All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin, and, therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words: "Ich bin ein Berliner!” The East German government had stopped all travel and commerce between the Soviet-controlled and the American/British/French-controlled parts of the city in 1961.

Moths too are on every list. The moths' motto is “Chase the Light Side”. ₼₼₼ The largest section of a moth's budget is lightbulbs. ₼₼₼ OMG, did you see that lightbulb? Yes, he's so hot.

..........Like seven inches from the midday sun..........Carlos Santana …..Smooth

5) The sport of canoeing first appeared in the Olympic games at Paris, 1924. In 2016 it made its Paralympic debut at Rio.

Protest Sign of the Week: Roses Are Red. Violets Are Blue. Come November Senate Will Be Too

Quote of the Week: If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're misinformed. --Mark Twain

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Libraries will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no libraries. --Anne Herbert

Today's Peace of History: June 26, 1945: On the stage of San Francisco’s Veterans Auditorium (now known as the Herbst Theatre in the center of the War Memorial Veterans Building), delegates from 50 nations signed the United Nations Charter, establishing the world body as a means of saving “succeeding generations from the scourge of war”.

The Honey Possum is a special niche pollinator. When baby honey possums roll in pollen, it's called a sticky situation. . ₶₶₱₱ Why did the honey possum go back for more nectar? Because it's a more-supial.

..........I get tired of waiting and fooling around..........Carlos Santana …..Evil Ways

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, June 26, 2026: Pollinated ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: It's not just enough to swing at the ball. You've got to loosen your girdle and really let the ball have it. --Babe Didrikson Zaharias

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 6/25/26: $746,969,204,475 --19 billion, 481 million, 389 thousand, 7 hundred and 24 dollars just this week.724 (That's 187 million less than last week – must be the ceasefire.)

Pentagon Spending as of 6/18/26: $727,487,814,751

Pentagon Spending as of 6/11/26: $707,819,308,268

Pentagon Spending as of 6/04/26: $689,074,081,940

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

All Members shall settle their international disputes by peaceful means in such a manner that international peace and security, and justice, are not endangered. --UN Charter Article 2

Famous Last Words: Dive, thoughts, down to my soul. --Richard III by William Shakespeare in Richard III

..........Dry your eyes, face the dawn.........Chris Isaak …..Life Will Go On

Everyone agrees that Bees are the top pollinator. A bee that can't make up its mind is called May-Bee. ввв The Bangor Hive use to fly around the head of a person buzzing and buzzing, around and around, until a spell was woven and the person was Bee-wiched.

May your garden grow Peace

And all your seeds be Joy

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Papa's ePistle

Famous First Words: I am a poet. ----Charles Bukowski from the movie Bukowski released 7/19/72

Dad Jokes for Father's Day! A well-balanced horse is stable. // What do you call angry carrots? Steamed veggies. \\ Triangles think circles are pointless.

..........When the enslaved found out they were free.........Gracie's Corner …..Juneteenth Song

I'm not a prophet, but I always thought it was natural for dictatorships to fall. I remember in 1989, two month before the fall of the Berlin Wall, had you said it was going to happen no one would have believed you. The system seemed powerful and unbreakable. Suddenly overnight it blew away like dust. --Salman Rushdie

It is a beautiful Friday morning. 62°F is neither too warm nor too cold and 1 mph eastern wind is just enough to make every little leaf move just enough to make the whole yard look like it's alive and rejoicing in a fresh new day. 5 squirrels and a bunny rabbit are flitting about the patio eating sunflower seeds and peanuts. At least until the neighbor dogs come out for their morning business. All the wildlife runs even though the dogs are silent and a fence keeps them separated. Puck was out earlier and has returned to sleep under my desk with his little snorts and wheezes. The sky is a clear, pale blue without a cloud or a jet trail. Sunlight streams over the roof casting strange shadows on the patio and the storage shed. Silence reigns; neither birdsong nor car motors fill the air. What a gorgeous day! I finally sit at my desk with my freshly brewed cup of unleaded coffee and the joyous anticipation of writing to you. Sheer existence is such a gas.

Hope your weekend takes the cake, fearless reader

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In what is being hailed as a landmark deal, on Saturday the Islamic republic of Iran agreed to cease all hostilities with the US in exchange for never having to talk to Vice President JD Vance again. --Andy Borowitz

I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know which comes first. \\ Where was King David's temple located? Beside his ear. // World Cup Joke: You can light up a soccer stadium with a soccer match.

..........Yours in a quest that's just begun.........Nina Simone …..Young, Gifted and Black

Trivia Questions: It's World Sauntering Day

1. What is sauntering?

2. Where does the word and/or the idea come from?

3. Which naturalist popularized sauntering as a spiritual activity?

4. Which American outdoorsman-author has a sauntering society named after him?

5. What do you know about World Sauntering Day?

Big Hello: Tervhen - Veps (Finnic language spoken in Karelia & the Vologda Oblast in the Russian Federation) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I want someone to look at me and say, “That's her. She's the one.” and not follow it with “who ate all the doughnuts”. --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: Squirrels and walker chair with peanuts ~~This week we had a baby cardinal – very red and very small and very cute. I'll try to get a picture.

Reader Response of the Week: Last week's Mechanized ePistle had a joke about tuning forks for a flat tire: My 1960 Austin Healey had wire wheels and came with a tuning fork to adjust each spoke There were 60 spokes per wheel and the spokes were supposed to be tuned annually or every 3000 miles, whichever came first I was (and am) tone deaf so that never happened. --vr of 66

I heard that sprinters don't eat before a race. They fast. // What's Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1 \\ A fascist walked into a bar...And ordered everyone a round.

..........Brother, we can't quit until we get our share.........James Brown …..Say It Loud – I'm Black and I'm Proud

Moonbeam: Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash we have very little reason to be interested in them. --Pauline Kael

Blasphemy of the Week: New evidence suggests that Cain's rejected offering was Kale. --Richard Davis --Submitted by Wittenburg Door

Coffee Joke of the Week: My morning coffee is less of a drink and more of a tiny warm exorcism. https://www.facebook.com/maythecoffeebewithyou

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation... --Submitted by Club42

My pig has earned a black belt in karate. He even invented a new move, the pork chop. \\ What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick // Frogs must have way more lives than cats. They croak everyday.

..........Do you hear me, do you feel me?.........Kenrick Lamar …..Alright

1) Sauntering is a slow, relaxed, maybe even aimless style of walking meant to reduce stress and help you appreciate the present moment.

Almanac: It is Friday, June 19^th. The moon will enter its first quarter on Sunday (6/21) and is in Leo. The UN has declared this International Day For The Elimination of Sexual Violence in Conflict. It is also Free BSD Day, Garfield the Cat Day, Juneteenth, National Watch Day, Wear Blue For Men's Health Day, Work@Home Father's Day, World Sickle Cell Awareness Day, and World Sauntering Day. Because it is Father's Day weekend it is Dollars Against Diabetes Days (19-21).

Among those born on this day were James VI (Scotland) aka James I (England) 1556, Elbert Hubbard 1856, Mrs Simpson aka Duchess of Windsor 1896, Moe Howard 1897, Guy Lombardo 1902, Lou Gehrig 1903, Lester Flatt 1914, Louis Jourdan 1919, Pauline Kael 1919, Neals Bohr 1922, Gena Rowlands 1936, Spanky McFarlane 1942, Malcolm McDowell 1943, Salman Rushdie 1947, Phylicia Rashad 1948, Ann Wilson 1950, Kathleen Turner 1954, Paula Abdul 1962, Boris Johnson 1964, Garfield the Cat 1978, and Zoe Saldaña 1978.

On June nineteenth Eratosthenes estimated the circumference of Earth (240 BCE), slavery finally came to an end in Texas (1865), the first Belmont Stakes was run (Ruthless won) (1867), Father's Day was first celebrated (1910), the first photoelectric cell was installed (CT) (1931), the Federal Communications Commission was created (1934), Kuwait won independence from Britain (1961),

the Supreme Court struck down a MD provision that required state office holders to believe in God (1961), and Valentina Tereshkova returned to Earth (1963).

Night Sky, 6/19 : The crescent moon will pass just below Regulus, the brightest star in Leo.

Fraternal Picture of the Week: It's No Hands Ollie and the Birdman Max

This Week: Saturday, June 20 – American Eagle Day & International Surfing Day & Flitch of Bacon Day

Sunday, June 21 – Make Music Day & International Day of Yoga & Midsummer

Night Sky, 6/21: Summer Solstice: The astronomical beginning of summer. Between 9 pm - midnight CDT (late evening of June 21 into early June 22), the contrasting shadows along the lunar terminator create a striking 'X' and 'V' shape, offering excellent telescope viewing of the moon's craters. https://urbanastrophotography.com/the-moon-lunar-x-and-lunar-v/

Monday, June 22 – World Rainforest Day & International Day of Radiant Peace & International Being You Day

Tuesday, June 23 – International Women In Engineering Day & Pink Flamingo Day

Night Sky, 6/23: Mars and Venus are visible before sunrise. Jupiter and Saturn are visible after sunset.

Wednesday, June 24 – Celebration of the Senses & International Fairy Day & World UFO Day

Thursday, June 25 – Global Beatles Day & Global Smurfs Day & National Day of Joy

Night Sky, 6/25: Sunrise: 5:55 am Sunset: 8:48 pm 14 hours and 53 minutes of daylight. Moonrise: 7:11 pm Moonset: 9:18 am

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “Any idea how to drive this thing?” // What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry \\ If seagulls fly over the sea and up the bay do they become baygulls?

..........Get up everybody, and sing.........Sister Sledge …..We Are Family

2) In the 1400s sauntering meant “to daydream” (Middle English santren – to muse or be in reverie) which became “wander in thought”. By the 1600s it became associated with physical strolling.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Happy Pride Month to Home Depot for not selling a single piece of straight wood. https://www.facebook.com/janisianpage

Moonbeam: I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis. --Boris Johnson

Fun Fact of the Week: The fact that Ewan McGregor's brother, Colin McGregor is a pilot in the Royal Air Force and his aviator nickname is “Obi-Two” is my new favorite bit of knowledge. --Jonna R Bartges --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Second Blasphemy of the Week: Scholars now believe that the Angel who saved Daniel distracted the lions with a laser pointer. https://www.facebook.com/TheBabylonBee

Video of the Week: Data Centers are Too Damn Big –Piedmont Raging Grannies (1:54) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou6NTHhkbsU

What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist. --Salman Rushdie

Proper clouds wear thunder pants under their billows. \\ How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles // Spies what you think they do: wear disguises and go on important missions. What they really do: only go undercover when it's cold.

..........Shine already, it's time..........Beyonce …..Already

3) Naturalist John Muir popularized the term. It allegedly originates from Middle Ages pilgrims walking to the Holy Land. When villagers asked where they were going, they’d reply, "A la sainte terre"—becoming known as "sainte-terre-ers

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Life is too short to learn German. --Richard Pörsön --Submitted by LanguageNerds

Weird Word of the Week: Vernalagnia: A romantic mood brought on by spring.

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Soothe a jellyfish sting. Pouring the Real Thing over a jellyfish sting relieves the stinging pain. The acids in the Coke seem to neutralize the venom, according to the Medical Journal of Australia. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/cocacola2.html

That mushroom gest invited to the best parties because he are such fungi. // What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt. \\ How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.

...........If you think we live in the land of the free..........Mickey Guyton …..Black Like Me

4) The Thoreau Sauntering Society: Based at the Thoreau Farm in Massachusetts, this group organizes regular, slow-paced biology and nature saunters through the woods.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If “womb” is pronounced “woom” and “tomb is pronounced “toom” shouldn't “bomb” be pronounced “boom” --Submitted by Writers, Readers and General Tomfoolery

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: ConGregate 12 (17-19, Greensboro, NC) A convention by nerds for nerds. https://www.con-gregate.com/

Protest Song of the Week: Join ICE ...If you're in need of a gig that'll make you feel big, come with me and put some folks in detention... Jesse Welles https://open.spotify.com/track/1fbroxuhGToryOiWiZSkoK

Spark of Joy of the Week: Just learned that orcas are the only other mammals that experience menopause. Trashing some dude's yacht makes a lot more sense now. https://www.facebook.com/NationalNOW

Athletes get athlete's foot but elves get mistle-toe. // Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to go spreading it. \\ The janitor at our school is crazy. She likes to jump out of the closet and yell, “Supplies! Supplies!”

..........Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.........Tupac …..Keep Ya Head Up

5) World Sauntering Day: Created in 1979 by publicist W.T. Rabe, this annual event on June 19th was designed as an upbeat rebellion against the 1970s jogging,

Protest Sign of the Week: I'm Not Tarriff-ied. I'm In-Führür-iated.

Quote of the Week: We're less and less willing to pay for the things that make civilization possible. And yet, we imagine somehow that civilization will continue. --Octavia Butler

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Last time the Knicks won the championship the president resigned in disgrace shortly after. Here 's hoping history repeats itself. https://www.facebook.com/noticenewsofficial

Today's Peace of History: August 3, 1981: Nearly 13,000 of the nation’s 17,500 air traffic controllers, members of the Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization (PATCO), went on strike.

The belt went to jail for holding up a pair of pants. \\ Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot. // The golfer always brought two pairs of pants in case he got a hole-in-one.

..........We all must be given the liberty that we defend..........Stevie Wonder …..Black Man

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, June 19, 2026: Papa's ePistle . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I think my mission is to become the greatest human I can. I know that sounds pompous, but what else do we have? --Kathleen Turner

Cost of War:

Pentagon Spending as of 6/18/26: $727,487,814,751 That's 19 billion, 668 million, 506 thousand, 4 hundred and 83 dollars spent this week by the pentagon. A billion more than last week.

Pentagon Spending as of 6/11/26: $707,819,308,268

Pentagon Spending as of 6/04/26: $689,074,081,940

Pentagon Spending in May 2026: $87,601,145,719

Pentagon Spending in April 2026: $81,264,897,194

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Measles Cases in the US: As of 6/16/26 there are 2073 confirmed measles cases in the US.

May 2026: 1,842 confirmed cases (231 new cases)

April 2026: 1,748 confirmed cases. (94 new cases)

March 2026: 1,362 confirmed cases. (386 new cases)

~~In the entire year 2010 there were only 63 confirmed cases.

https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html

I hate admitting that my enemies have a point. --Salman Rushdie

Famous Last Words: I wanna go to the late night, double feature, picture show. --Usherette/Magenta Rocky Horror Show which premiered 6/19/73

..........Ring with the harmonies of Liberty.........Alicia Keys …..Lift Every Voice And Sing aka The Black National Anthem

The two cats ended their fight; they hissed and made up. // How do rabbits travel? Hareplanes \\ I don't know her name, the hippie just called his wife Mississippi.

May Peace draw your days

And Joy paint your night

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Mutt and Jeff explain Trump's failure in Iran --Submitted by lh of ks